• Published 26th Jul 2015
  • 2,230 Views, 18 Comments

The Cutie Remark - Tachyon Xenophile



Starlight and Twilight go back in time and change the past.

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2
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 2,230

Chapter 1

A brilliant light was the last thing Twilight Sparkle saw before she was hurling through... something. It glowed and pulsated, in a color that wasn't quite like any she'd seen before. The closest analogy was what her friends had told her they'd seen when Tirek sucked out Discord's magic, but even that seemed like an imperfect fit. Maybe they just didn't have the right words for it.

She saw flashes of the past, both situations she had been in and those she hadn't. Things in the distance that defied all description shot by her before her conscious mind could register them, leaving only their ghostly imprints behind, while oblique lines bisected and trisected those objects--or entities, perhaps. So this is what history actually looks like from the outside. It's... beautiful. A thought popped into her head, but it didn't make any sense. "Isn't this beautiful, Twilight? Imagine if everypony could see this." Backwards speaking she's. Back getting are twisted our on timestreams themselves. Twilight felt a sudden surge of confusion, but she chalked it up to her bizarre thought.

Starlight Glimmer flew, or perhaps floated, alongside her, watching the spectacle unfolding around them. She opened her mouth, and Twilight heard words, but they were hardly intelligible. "Sith, eez, inopeerevee ffi niigamee tiiliwt, lufitewb sith tinsi. You you forever, stay wish don't could here?" Twilight hardly had time to process this, though, as something seemed to be heading towards them.

Up ahead, the pulsating energy field seemed to have a gaping hole in it, crackling with more of what Twilight assumed was Discord's magic. She nervously tried to slow down, but realized that no matter how she struggled, the flow of the energy around her was too strong. She turned to Starlight, who also looked frightened. Twilight focused, and hurled her strongest repulsion spell, but it seemed to do nothing against the storm of energy surrounding them. She tried to teleport, but that didn't work either--while she blinked, her position didn't change.

They accelerated, heading straight for the hole. As they drew near, a sense of wrongness filled Twilight, as if its existence was a crime against the universe itself. The moment she hit it, everything went black, and she saw nothing for some time.


Everything hurt, even parts of her body Twilight hadn't known she had. A residual electric shock filled her muscles, and Twilight felt like her internal clock was out of sync with the environment. Flight lag, pegasi call it, some distant corner of her mind recalled. Something also seemed to be clouding her mind, much like the alcoholic intoxicants she'd read about. Discord needs to work on his time-travel, she grumbled.

A small tree above her blocked out the morning sun, and songbirds chirped with terror. The tree seemed a little withered and degraded, as if their time-travelling had damaged it. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the grass had died in a circle around her. That'll need study. When I return to Equestria, I'll conduct some more experiments.

Then Twilight felt something under her, something that didn't feel much like grass or dirt. Something soft and fuzzy and... moving? She looked down, and saw Starlight underneath her. Twilight quickly stood up, examining the other mare's condition. She looked a bit more banged up than Twilight was. Being used as a landing pad must have hurt a lot more than having a soft body to cushion my fall. Twilight felt an unexpected pang of sympathy for Starlight, hoping she wasn't too badly hurt.

Now what? Did we even land in the right time period? That hole... thing... might not have been our intended exit. Or what if Discord screwed up, or worse, intentionally dropped us in the wrong time? If I run into Starswirl the Bearded or someone like that, I swear, I'm going to... Twilight paused, a smile slowly forming on her face. Going to hug Discord! Meeting Starswirl would be a dream come true! We could talk about magic and I could help him finish his masterpiece and he could teach me his lost spells! It would be the best day ever!

Twilight looked around, and Ponyville appeared not that different. Given that Ponyville existed at all, the general time period had to be right. She suddenly got an idea. Newspapers always have the date. I just have to find one and then I'll know if I'm in the right time! She looked back at Starlight, still unconscious. Hmmmm... I guess I'll have to carry her, she decided. She carefully picked up Starlight with her telekinesis, and trotted towards town square. There's got to be an edition of the Ponyville Express here somewhere, she mused. Ponyville's quiet this morning. Why is nopony talking?

After a few minutes of searching, Twilight finally located the newspaper. At the top-right corner, it stated, "13, Third Moon, 2375 AF." Perfect! I got--or am going to get--my cutie mark tomorrow, so we've got all of today to patch ourselves up and locate Rainbow Dash! She checked over Starlight again, who still hadn't woken up. I should probably get her to the doctor, to make sure nothing serious happened... Still carrying Starlight, she began to leave, when a chill ran down her spine. It felt like someone was looking at her.

Twilight slowly realized that everypony nearby was watching her with a mix of awe and fear. A cry of "Hail the new Princess!" broke the silence, and cheers went up from the crowd. Everypony dropped to their knees, and bowed to her. Twilight awkwardly said, "There's no need to bow, and I'm not your princess... please, don't pay any attention to me! I'm just passing through." With that, she teleported away, bringing Starlight with her.

She reappeared just outside the old library, Starlight still levitating beside her. She frantically looked around for a cloak she could use to conceal her wings, but it seemed ponies didn't just leave them around. With a sigh, she focused her magic into an illusory cloak. It wasn't as good as the real thing, but unless ponies were actually looking for her, she didn't have a better option. I'll get a proper cloak later. Here's hoping my being a Princess didn't screw up history too much...

With that done, she walked into her old home, and placed Starlight down on the bed. She dismissed her cloak with a thought, and sat down by the bed. Grabbing a book labeled Medical Magic from the wall, she got to work on healing Starlight.


Every part of Starlight Glimmer's body hurt. It felt like she'd been hit by a cave-in, lightning, and then been dumped in lava and then the arctic ice. She could barely move, but something soothing was surrounding her. Underneath her, she felt the soft fabric of a bed. She inhaled deeply, and the soothing feeling entered her. She slowly opened her eyes, and the first thing she saw was lavender. As the world came into focus, she recognized the shape above her as Princess Twilight Sparkle. "What... what happened?" she asked weakly.

Princess Twilight replied calmly, "It would be a good idea for you to not talk right now. You'll need to save your strength." She looked down at her book again, and added, "Now, this next spell is not going to heal you, but it will dull your nerves so the pain will be much better. I'm not skilled in medical magic, so I won't be able to do a full heal, but I can at least stop the pain. A professional will have to see to you later." She forced a smile. "But at least you didn't suffer any permanent damage."

Starlight nodded, and closed her eyes again. She heard Princess Twilight murmuring a complex incantation, one she had to hope was done with good intent, and then almost all the pain disappeared. A faint ache remained, but she was used to that. She slowly stood up, and said, "Thank you... Princess Twilight. That was... very kind of you." What's gotten into her? Even if we're working together, that doesn't mean she has to be nice to me. Is she trying to bribe me with kindness into giving up equalism?

Princess Twilight said, looking at her book again, "We've got all of today to prepare for making sure Rainbow Dash doesn't do her sonic rainboom tomorrow. I think I've got a plan. She executed it to show up three bullies. I think their names are Hoops, Dumbbell, and Score..." She shrugged. "Anyway, if we can get them to make up and be friends, she won't have the motivation to pull off a sonic rainboom." She looked over to Starlight, and added, "Since you can't fly, I'll have to cast a cloud-walking spell on you." She hesitated, and then added, "And I think I'll have to carry you up to Cloudsdale."

Starlight sighed. So the princess wants to carry me. Well, it'll be humiliating, but I suppose I can live with that. She said out loud, "Very well. And once we're done, we'll return to the present?"

Princess Twilight's eyes widened. "I'd completely forgotten about that! Oh no, how are we going to get home? There's no Discord to send us back!" She paced the room, clearly agitated.

Starlight closed her eyes, trying to think. Unfortunately, while most of the pain was gone, her sharp intellect seemed to have gone with it. Focusing, she said slowly, "If our being in the past is an ongoing spell... we could try dispelling it. If it was just a one-time effect, we're going to need to recreate it, which would be a lot harder." She looked up--she was sure that the alicorn was taller than her, and now she had confirmation--at Twilight. "Can you scan us for ongoing spells?"

Princess Twilight nodded, and her horn glowed with the smooth field of a detection spell. After a few seconds of concentration, she reported, "We're under some kind of contingency spell--when we fulfill a criterion or criteria, some other spell will take effect." She gave Starlight a resigned look. "Unfortunately, I don't have enough energy left over from all the healing I cast on both of us to probe deeper and determine either the trigger or the result."

Starlight said, thinking hard, "In that case, it's probably Discord's way of taking us back home. If it's not... well, I don't think we have much energy left to worry about it right now." She looked outside, where the sun was tinged orange with the colors of late afternoon. "We've got a couple hours until nightfall. I think it would be a good idea for us to read up on the spells we'll need to use tomorrow."

Princess Twilight said, tilting her head, "Good idea, Starlight. I'll find the cloud-walking spell." She trotted over to the wall, smiling very wide for some reason. Starlight was sure she heard Princess Twilight whispering to the books, "I missed you."

Starlight, meanwhile, was much more interested in the "Magical Defense & Enhancement" section. She spotted a book titled "Supreme Endurance: How to Survive Anything". Intrigued, she picked it up, and flipped to the index. To her joy, she saw an entry labeled "Time-Travel Protection-Page 358." She quickly turned to page 358, and sat down to read.

Below each spell, the magical symbols needed to cast it was provided. She noted that spell names and modifications to spells were all italicized. "Well, that's helpful," she thought out loud.

Time-travel, while a very uncommon phenomenon, is nonetheless sufficiently dangerous to warrant inclusion. We recommend you apply all charms and enchantments under Outer Space (p.197), Heavy Impact (p.66), and Black Holes (p.25). In addition to those, apply the following:

Anti-monster:Cast eldritch bane on yourself (or whomever you are shielding), maximize it, make it irresistible, and reshape it from a sphere into a dodecahedron. This spell will act like bug spray, but instead of repelling insects, it will repel the creatures that live in the timestream. While attacks by them are rare, they are extraordinarily lethal.

Flux protection: Simply being in the timestream affects life in ways that no other environment does. To avoid being aged, de-aged, or even both, this spell is necessary to hold your body in one time-pocket. We have not provided a standardized name for this spell, as it is our own creation, though we tentatively term it temporal flux shield.

Thermal Stability: Cast buffer substance with yourself (or whomever you are shielding) as the target, and then maximize it. While the charms and enchantments in Outer Space (p.197) will shield you against both heat and cold, this spell will shield you against the shock of rapidly switching between them.

Timelocking: Cast a memory recall spell with linearized metamagic, and then apply a causality spell onto the memory recall. This will ensure that your thoughts and words don't get jumbled or reversed.

Starlight slipped a nearby bookmark onto the page, and flipped to the three referenced areas, which she also read through and bookmarked. That done, she called out, "Twilight, I found something that might be useful for our return trip. I can't seem to cast any magic more than telekinesis right now, though, so you'll have to perform the spells." A thought struck her, and she added, "Or we could cast them tomorrow."

Princess Twilight said, "I think we should cast them tomorrow. I'm already almost out of magic." She yawned, putting down the six books she'd been levitating. "Speaking of which, it's probably a good idea to go to sleep early. We both need to recover."

Starlight looked at the bed, and noticed the princess doing the same. There's only one bed, and two of us... She glanced over at Princess Twilight suspiciously, and stated, "With only one bed... we'll either have to share, or else one of us will get it." She added, "And since one of us getting it wouldn't be equal, I guess we'll have to share."

Princess Twilight said, "Don't worry, I had an extra bed. I used it when Rarity and Applejack had a sleepover at my house!" She smiled, probably recalling happy memories or something like that. "I'll just pull it out and then we'll each have one!" Starlight exhaled in relief, glad that they wouldn't have to suffer through the exceeding awkwardness of sharing a bed.

Princess Twilight checked in her closet, and surprisingly, the bed wasn't in there. Princess Twilight looked flustered, but quickly said, "It must be in the basement. In the years to come, somepony's going to move it upstairs. That must be it, hehhehheh..." She trotted downstairs, her horn glowing with a basic light spell.

Starlight followed her, more out of curiosity than anything else. She'd heard about a big battle a few months ago, and then when she went to meet Princess Twilight, she found the princess in a castle. Was this library destroyed in the battle? Starlight idly wondered. Ahead, Princess Twilight walked into a larger room, one littered with dusty objects. A globe, a large scientific object, several old books... but no bed.

Princess Twilight facehoofed, and blushed a little. "Erm... it looks like we might have to share a bed after all, Starlight."

A shiver ran down Starlight's spine. Even though the princess had taken care of her earlier, being close to her political enemy while healthy didn't sit well with her. It's not like I'm giving up my equality. In fact, I'm preserving it! It wouldn't be fair for only one of us to get the bed, so we'll both have it. Out loud, she said, "Very well, that's how it has to be. I'll take the inside, and you take outside."

Princess Twilight yawned again, and slowly trotted back upstairs. She picked up the sheets on the bed, and lay down on the window side. She rolled over to face the window.

Starlight sat down on the other side, and pointedly faced the other way. She closed her eyes, exhausted from the events of the past day. While the pain was much better, her body still felt very tired, and it was nice to lie down again.


Twilight woke up refreshed and well-rested, her magic almost fully restored. She looked over to Starlight, who was thankfully still facing the other way. If one of them had rolled over, it would have been even more awkward.

She got up, and slowly walked out of bed, careful not to disturb Starlight, who was still asleep. She levitated up the book describing cloud-walking, as well as the book that Starlight had bookmarked. After casting the cloud-walking spell on Starlight, she began to read through the sections Starlight had bookmarked.

About half an hour later, she'd finished casting all the spells on both of them. About a minute later Starlight opened her eyes. "Hello, Princess," she said sleepily. "How much time do we have until the rainboom?"

Twilight thought hard, and decided, "Probably three hours, so let's play it safe and call it two. Better we spend some time waiting around then we miss it and have our entire experiment ruined."

Starlight hopped out of bed, and looked down at herself. She said, slowly, "Princess Twilight, something feels... odd. I feel all tingly..."

Twilight explained, "Don't worry, I applied those charms and enchantments to both of us. That tingly feeling is just a side effect of being shielded against a whole bunch of things." I hope she believes me... she might not trust me, since I could have easily put a mind-affecting spell on her alongside the benign ones...

Starlight looked a little disturbed, but nodded. "I understand, Princess. I know you must have cast the spells correctly." An idea seemed to strike her. "Let's make some food. I'm starving!"

Twilight just realized she hadn't had food since... yesterday morning? I guess I was really engaged in those magical studies. "You're right. We need some food. But... some ponies in town saw me with wings," she admitted. "I don't think I can go out there again. Can you go buy some food?"

Starlight tapped her chin. "Yes, but I don't have any money on me. Do you?"

Twilight thought back to how the library had been when she'd first arrived. Had there been any money? "Maybe..." she thought out loud. "I'll check downstairs again. There might be something to eat, or at least a safe or something."

Starlight watched her, a faint smirk on her face. "So you're stealing from somepony? That's a rather... unexpected thing for you to do."

Twilight cried out, "No, I'm not! I'm just borrowing it! I'll pay it back in, like, 12 years!" She resisted the urge to facehoof. It's just her trying to mess with me. Don't let it get to you.

Starlight shrugged. "Whatever you say, Princess." She picked a book off the bookshelves, but Twilight didn't catch its title. She entered the basement, and looked around for something that could be useful.

To her delight, somepony had left some food behind. A box of oat cereal, while not extravagant, would at least help fill them up. There were three bowls too! She called up, "Starlight, I found food!" She grabbed the box and two of the bowls with her telekinesis, and hurried back upstairs. She opened the box, and filled both bowls to the brim.

Starlight levitated the bowl up, and began to eat. Twilight did the same. After going a day without eating, it seemed delicious. They munched on their cereal for a few minutes. Twilight got through four bowls, and Starlight three.

After breakfast, Starlight asked, "So, when are we going up to Cloudsdale?" Her face showed a mix of excitement, apprehension, and intrigue.

Twilight happily answered, "As soon as you want!" For her part, she felt very excited about today. We're going to learn so much about how me and my friends have affected Equestria!

Starlight looked over Twilight with a scanning eye. "Hmmmm... we'll have to do something about those wings or horns. Having a princess just marauding around would be a problem."

Twilight nodded. "I've got the perfect solution." With a flash of her magic, she conjured a cloak around her. Its fabric was smooth and sepia, and it hid both her wings and her horn. It was comfortable and effective. "Now that I think of it... given that the future might be different, you should have one too."

Starlight said, a trace of arrogance in her voice, "I'll make one too, Princess." Her horn glowed bright, and when it faded, a pitch-black cloak had enveloped her. "This will do," she observed with a faint smirk. "It's also got lots of pockets, with a few things we might need."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Yes, that's impressive. Can we get going now?"

Starlight suddenly gasped, genuine shock on her face. "Princess, I just realized how we can get up to Cloudsdale without the awkwardness and danger of you flying me there!"

Twilight raised her eyebrows, and asked, "What's your idea?" While she doubted Starlight would try anything dangerous on purpose, she had been pumped full of magical spells, including a pain-inhibitor, which were known to affect judgement...

Starlight explained, "As you surely know, two ponies can teleport simultaneously if their magic is linked. We could simply do a linked teleport and get there quickly!"

Twilight hesitated, and replied, "What worries me is that Cloudsdale moves around Equestria, so we'd have to determine its position beforehoof... and given that we have about an hour on our conservative estimate, that might not be that much time.Hmmmmm..." She puzzled over it, certain that she was on the edge of a solution...

But then, an idea hit her, and she cried, "Eureka! When Fluttershy fell--or will fall--off the cloud today, she landed near Ponyville! Therefore, Cloudsdale must be above us!"

Starlight gave Twilight a confused look, and asked, "Wait, landed? What do you mean?"

Twilight said, giggling with joy, "I'll explain once we're there. Right now, let's go outside! Cloudsdale must be in view!"

They trotted outside, cloaks obscuring their entire bodies, and searched the sky. Twilight was the first to spot it. "There it is! Now, focus on me, and match my magical invocations!"

Like a game of sing-along, the two of them uttered arcane words together in sync. A few seconds later, they disappeared from view.


An hour and a half later...

Rainbow Dash was flying around, being awesome, when she spotted two jerks being nasty to one of her classmates, Fluttershy. Even though her wingmare, Gilda, wasn't with her right now (something about needing to eat), she knew she had to stand up for that pony. It helped that she already had a rivalry with the two bullies. Hoop and Dumbbell won't know what hit 'em!

But just as she was zooming in to give them a piece of her mind... two grown-up ponies wearing cloaks walked towards them. She ducked behind a cloud, and listened, suspicious.

"Now, look. Just because Fluttershy isn't that good at flying doesn't given you the right to be mean to her," the brown-cloaked one said. "Now, apologize, both of you."

Hoops pawed the ground, and said, "Sorry, Clutzer--I mean, Fluttershy."

Dumbbell rolled his eyes, and added, "Yeah, sorry Fluttershy."

Fluttershy brushed aside her mane, and hesitantly replied, "I-it's okay." She looked at them, obviously very uncomfortable. "It's.... it's fine... can I go now?"

The two hooded figures looked at each other, and then nodded. "Go, little one," the black-robed one said calmly. "You need not fear being mocked for your flying ability anymore." With that, they turned, and walked around a building. Rainbow Dash couldn't see them anymore. Fluttershy crept away in the opposite direction, and Hoops and Dumbbell shrugged and flew off themselves.

Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes, and walked after the two mysterious strangers. Who were those guys and what did they want? But when she turned the corner, they were nowhere to be found. Only a glowing, spinning disk, or maybe a hole, remained. It made her fur stand on end. A split second later, it too was gone, leaving the young pegasus to wonder...

What happened? Who were those? What were they up to?

...They were awesome!

Author's Note:

Heh, I had a lot of fun writing this one.

Also, one of the little things I liked doing was have Starlight always think of Twilight as "Princess" Twilight, even if Starlight didn't always call her that.

That was a long chapter. I hope you enjoyed it!

Comments ( 10 )

Will you be giving Starlight her own backstory? Because, it looks like they might be in the past for a while.

6256627
They've returned to the present, but they're now in the alternate universe where the rainboom didn't happen.

I hadn't thought of giving Starlight her own backstory, but now that you suggest it, I think I will!

6256828 I'm curious about what you will end up putting as her back story.

P.S. PM me if you want to hear my personal opinion on Starlight's backstory.

I must say I'm intrigued. By all means, please continue. :pinkiesmile:

6278028
I've been working on chapter 2. Sorry for the delay, but stuff's been getting in the way.
I hope to have it up soon!

Nicely done. Keep up the good work. I'm curious to know what will happen next

6297853
Personally, I'd say it's because she's a scientist at heart. An experiment involving actual, history-altering time travel? When all she could manage were a couple seconds of self-fulfilling prophecy? She'd love the chance to do it, if only to see how the world would have been.

She was in a "FOR SCIENCE" mood.
Also there may or may not have been magic involved.
:trixieshiftleft:

6297518
Yay, thanks! :pinkiehappy:

Huh. I wasn't expecting Twilight to go on a time traveling adventure with Starlight. And that's in a good sense of wasn't expecting. I will be very amazed if this is sort of what happens in the finale instead of the expected "MUWAHAHAHA! I MESSED UP TIME! NOW WITNESS AS I SOMEHOW MAKE THIS ENTIRE WORLD MINE BY CHANGING A SMALL THING THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME!"

Ooh...
This won't end well.


I'm honestly expecting shout-outs to the short story "A Pail of Air".



(For those who have never read it: the world in a Pail of Air has no atmosphere, and is bitterly cold. The only way you can breathe is to dig up a pail of liquid oxygen and heat it.
I thought that Nightmare Moon could inadvertently cause something like that.)

This story is great so far, I hope you continue it some day

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