Heart Aflutter
Escargot sat on the floor, thumping his forelegs nervously, alternating them as if walking on the spot. He cast quick glances to the tiara- its elemental gem was dark, but still glinted in the light.
“Calm down.” Gisa said, stretching out on the pillow. “You saved the town, that’s normally a good thing.”
“Good thing? Trust me, at the least I’m going to get thrown in the dungeons for stealing the Elements of Harmony.” Escargot said and sighed. “They’ll banish me to Tartar Sauce for sure.”
“Mmmm… Battered cod from the Griffin Sea in tartar sauce.” Gisa almost purred, rolling over on the pillow.
“This is serious, Gisa! What about dad? He hates magic, and now I’m representing it!” Escargot whimpered and went back to drumming his forelegs.
“Oh come on, Escargot’s the element- at worst, she gets kicked out.” Gisa huffed.
“I just don’t want to face him right now.” Escargot said, looking at the map again.
“You’ve been hiding in the castle for three days now. If it weren’t for the fact that Spike keeps the fridge well-stocked, and an overabundance of nachos, salsa dip, and cookies...” A tap at the door had Gisa bounding across the floor, “Oh, and don’t forget the gifts from the townsfolk. If not for that stuff you’d have starved.”
Escargot looked at his pink furred stomach and whimpered, “I don’t wanna starve.”
Opening the door Gisa cheerfully chirped, “What snacks are you bringing us to- Oh… umm.”
Gisa stepped aside and Spike to struggle inside with several suitcases piled high above him. Groaning, he looked out from under the stack, “Why was the door locked? The door’s never locked.”
“Oh, you know how it goes, save the town with magic, now hiding in here from the adoration of fans.” Gisa said, and pointed to the throne room.
“Hiding? Why would anyone want to hide? I’m the hero of The Crystal Empire- they adore me, and it’s great!” Spike set down the suitcases.
“Aren’t those a lot for Twilight?” Gisa asked, looking at the pile.
“Rarity insisted on coming straight here with Twilight. Applejack and the others stopped off to check on-” Spike jumped aside as Rarity ran in, Twilight just behind.
“Darling, are you alright?” Rarity asked as she ran past Spike, sending him spinning. She slid to a stop and picked Escargot up with her magic.
Twilight bounded in, grinning ear to ear, then started pogohopping in circles around the two, “My pupil has learned friendship magic!”
Glancing back at Spike, Gisa smiled, “Oh, and you’re out of nachos and salsa.” Then she scampered into the throne room and skid across the floor.
“Put me down please.” Escargot whined, as Rarity held the filly within her magical grasp, carrying out a thorough examination.
“You were not harmed, were you?” Rarity asked.
“Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes!” Twilight said as she bounded around Escargot her heart aflutter in excitement.
“I’m fine, Rarity. We all are. The shield spell Twilight taught me kept us safe.” Escargot nodded.
“You used my lesson too!” Twilight squeed and smiled brightly, lighting her horn and firing a blast at Escargot.
“EEEP!” Throwing up her shield, Escargot curled up in midair before being dropped by Rarity.
“Darling, do be careful, you could hurt somepony doing that.” Rarity looked sternly at Twilight as she rubbed her own horn. Its tip smoked from the backlash of Twilight’s blast breaking her telekinesis.
“So, why are you hiding inside this castle, rather than going home?” Rarity asked, “Sweetie Belle said you haven’t left in three days.”
“I can’t go home. I can’t… face him.” Escargot said, looking down.
“Because of the whole ‘Element of Magic’ thing?” Rarity asked softly as she moved to sit beside the foal.
With a slow nod, Escargot looked at the map, “Long Haul will kill me, or worse, kick me out of the house.”
“He will do no such thing, and you should not be in that house to begin with. You really should consider Celestia’s request to go to her school. But, I understand wanting to stay with your friends.” Twilight huffed, “Though I’m sure you could move here if you need, or we can look at getting you your very own place.”
Escargot looked up at Twilight, her lower lip quivering, as if she were about to cry.
“Twilight, there’s more going on than you think.” Rarity said firmly, before turning to face her friend. “It’s not fair to force an issue like this. And where is Applejack?”
“Applejack?” Escargot asked and blinked looking up at the adults.
“I asked her to join us.” Rarity responded with a huff and paced a bit. “I know she’s worried about Apple Bloom, but I do really need her.”
“I’m sorry, I can understand Snails living there, he has no magical aptitude or skill. I don’t think he could even learn magic, so his father’s fine with him.” Twilight said shaking her head, “But Escargot is somepony special. She deserves to be cared for and nurtured.”
Applejack trotted in, stopping at the door as Twilight finished her statement.
Escargot flinched visibly at the cutting words. Turning, the foal walked away from the two mares. Tears slowly fell to the ground as he went.
“Twilight!” Rarity said in a mix of shock and pity. She ran over and hugged Escargot tightly.
“What in tarnation?” Applejack did her best not to look totally confused, “Here I am, away from you two for 10 minutes to check on ma kin, and you get yourselves into a heap of trouble.”
“What did I do?” Twilight responded looking completely lost.
“I just don’t know what to do.” Escargot said tears falling slowly. “I don’t want to end up in Tartar Sauce or lose my home and family.”
Applejack walked over and sat beside Escargot, rubbing her cheek with the back of a foreleg. “I always find the truth helps with kin.”
“Applejack, Escargot’s father is… complicated.” Rarity said softly. “Sometime it can be very scary to tell the truth. Sometime you know ponies will be angry or react badly to the truth, even if there’s no reason they should.”
“But…” Applejack started, then stopped, seeing the look on Rarity’s face.
Twilight shook her head, “I think we should just remove Escargot and leave Snails with his father.”
“I am Snails.” Escargot said meekly.
Twilight blinked at Escargot, “Pardon?”
“Escargot is Snails. Some kind of chaos magic affected him in the Everfree.” Reaching out with her magic, Rarity grabbed a teapot, added a touch of cold water, then carefully poured the now-warm water on the foal.
Lifting a single eyebrow, Applejack looked down at Snails as he dripped on the floor, looking very much like a lost puppy. “And the girls know about this?”
“Even Apple Bloom.” Snails said softly, “and they promised to keep it a secret. I’m terrified that ponies might find out.”
“But- but- this is impossible!” Twilight said, looking in shock.
Rarity shook her head and sighed, looking at Applejack, “I don’t think Snails here needs to be exposed to the five stages.”
Shaking her head vigorously Twilight looked back to Rarity, “Five stages?”
Applejack stood up and chuckled, “Eyup, denial that there is something you didn’t know, anger that you couldn’t find it in your books, testing to see if you can figure it out on your own and write a book about it, depression when either you can’t figure it out or realize it’s unexplainable, and finally acceptance, when you give up and just go with it.”
“I think Tartar Sauce might be better than being a lab test subject.” Snails whimpered.
“But…” Twilight sat down hard, wing spread wide in shock and confusion.
“This is why I couldn’t tell. The girls found out because of an accident, and are kinda ok with it. If my father finds out though…” Snails turned his head away. “I understand if you don’t want to keep teaching a dumb, lying, little colt.”
Stomping her hoof, Rarity scowled, “Snails, I would NEVER allow you in my store if you were those things. You keep your secret for your safety, that does not make you a liar, nor are you dumb, you simply have not had the love and care someone of your needs deserves.”
Turning, Rarity looked squarely at Twilight, then sighed softly. Walking over, she sat beside Twilight and leaned against her. “Twilight, darling, you’ve told us about your childhood. You’ve sung us songs about it. How would your life have turned out had you not been given a chance by Celestia? What would you have become, had you not been nurtured by your parents?”
Twilight looked at Snails, then Rarity, “I…. I might have turned out like Snails. He comes from a powerful magical lineage, but his natural abilities have been ignored.”
Applejack walked up beside Snails, looking down at him, “And his talents need to be kept hidden for now- his father would never accept it, would even fight to stop his training. Earth ponies can be very stubborn at times.”
Looking at Applejack for a moment, Twilight stood up and walked around looking at the food left for Escargot. She looked down at the thank-you notes, the picture of Escargot and friends. “Snails, what do you want?”
“What do I want?” Snails blinked, looking confused.
Rarity smiled and picked up Escargot’s tiara, gently placing it on Snails’s head, “Yes darling, it is your life after all.”
“I…” Looking down, Snails sighed, “In some ways, I wish everything could go back to normal and I could just be a normal colt, but I know I can’t do that. I don’t want to leave my mom, and don’t want to lose my new friends. I kind of want to continue studying and practicing magic.”
“Then it’s settled- for now, you can continue your studies as Escargot to hide it from your father.” Twilight said with a nod. “We can carry on as if nothing happened.”
Snails nodded slowly and smiled. “This is such a load off my back.”
Walking in, Spike leaned to the side looking around a pile of nachos twice as high as he was. The nachos were stacked in layers between salsa, cheese, diced onions, peppers, sour cream, and lots of special spicy guacamole sauce. Smiling, he hid his head behind the nachos standing proudly. “One Spike Super Nacho Special, to celebrate.”
“We'll I'll be, that’s a whole heap of vittles.” Applejack exclaimed.
“Thanks, I had just enough hidden in my emergency snack supplies to….” Spike paused, then let out a fiery belch as the entire huge bowl of nachos vanishing in a magical mist, replaced by a single scroll, which fell into the dragon’s claws. “You’ve got mail.” Spike finished with a mournful sigh at the loss of the food.
Blinking Twilight grabbed the scroll with her magic and opened it starting to read aloud, “Dear Princess Twilight. Given the new development with the tree of harmony and these new form of the Elements of Harmony, I feel it is now required that your student spent at least one semester in the School for Gifted Unicorns. This is no longer a request. Yours truly, Princess Celestia.”
“Celestia gets dinner,” Snails said drooping, “And I’m so doomed."
“Celestia gets dinner,” Snails said drooping, “And I’m so doomed.
1. Forgot your closing quotation mark.
I'm quoting that entire sentence there just because that was filled with awesome. And possibly becoming a cheesy one liner someday.
Wow, spiraling out of control, Snail's life is... Not that it wasn't already.
8078074 And somehwere, Celestia is calling for Kibitz to bring the garden hose.... to help get all the nacho's and cheeze out of her mane.
8078122 The mane should be self-cleaning, it's ethereal after all.
The coat and the regalia, on the other hand...
Well now Twilight and Applejack are in the know. I did like how Rarity put her hoof down and set Twilight straight. Now I wonder how Long Haul will take the news, in a prison cell, Tarter Sause, or some time far in the future after his magical banishment ends?
Long Haul will be glad that Escargot is out of his house, and likely barely care that his worthless unicorn of a son is missing.
Long Haul is quite high on list for 'worst father'. Even above Genma.
it's only a matter of time now before Long Haul figures it out. Bet he dopes somthing to get him end up in jail.
... Meanwhile in Canterlot, Celestia gets a face-full of nachoes, covering her in salsa and cheese.
Luna, looking on, laughs her ass off.
8078227
No one is as terrible a father as Genma. Long Haul doesn't even come close.
8078464 He needs to sell Snails for food just 293 more times to catch up!
Short-ish chapters with tons of plot development and ending in cliffhangers... I want to complain about the cliffhangers, but given the amout of plot advancement you're giving us, I just can't.
Nice chapter. I think the lines where Twilight was disparaging towards Snails were written well. From the dialogue, you can attach any tone of voice you want to what she says, and it changes how her personality comes across. She could sound openly callous, casually dismissive, or she could simply be thinking, "Snails shows no interest or aptitude for magic, so his father won't specifically target him for abuse". It all depends on how you imagine her sounding, since you gave no facial feature description of her at the time.
Hope life is treating you a bit better since the last "official" chapter of this story! Depression is a pain, but you should take your own advice to Snails and realize that, no matter what, you're a good person and are worthwhile. You certainly made my day brighter with this story.
this is a vary good chapter and it looks as if things are still building up.
ok I know they are but I pinkie promised to not give away spoilers.
This was an okay chapter, but I found it really odd that everyone aside from Twilight seemed fine with letting Snails stay in an abusive home.
It made sense when they did not know how bad it was, but now that they know it comes off as really OOC.
I mean really...only Twilight recognizes house sick and wrong it is to send the victim to live with their abuser?
I am honestly starting to lose hope for this story when all the characters in it seem fine with child abuse.
8078719 They all recognize it, but what can they really do? Removing Snails from his home would legally be a kidnapping, since while Long Haul is not a nice pony, technically he had done nothing illegal. It's a big problem in real life, and I don't see how ponies would have it any easier. You can't just barge into someone's home and take their kid because you think they don't treat them as you think they should.
I wonder how plans to extract Snails into her school, since throwing Twilight and Luna at the problem apparently has failed. School can be a solution, since if Snails will come home with a wizard beard and a diploma, it'll be hard to deny he's good at magic, and it would also put him out of Haul's reach for a while.
8079988 Your missing the point.
I am not expecting them to be able to do anything.
What I find disturbing is that there was no big back and forth about how something should be done, but legally there is really nothing they can do.
May be even with the elements going back and forth with tears being shed at the unfairness of how Long Haul is being allowed to destroy his sons life as he has already destroyed his sons sense of self worth.
Instead we get a very short almost subdued back and forth between Twilight and Rarity where Rarity is the one arguing the status quo (usually Twilights thing) while Twilight is trying to offer her house if necessary (Rarity's thing). While everyone else just kind of goes along with it...Like some little kid is not being destroyed mentally and emotionally by his father.
Again I am not saying I expected them to jump in and take him, but a bigger deal should have been made of it...
This feels like it should have been a very emotionally charged moment...and it just kind of fell flat.
8080013 Well, there's the matter of that they already were there before, they are all aware that legally they are powerless. Add to that the fact that Twilight is the only one of them who confronted Long Haul directly. She can't agree to the status quo, she knows the depth of the shit Snails is in. Rarity, on the other hand, had been pondering the problem for weeks - and doing what can immediately be done to ease it for Snails (like giving him an excuse to be out of home as much as he wants), so she naturally is not as agitated as Twilight who had the truth dropped on her head a minute before. They look pretty natural to me - Rarity, despite her desire to be ovedramatic at times, is good at sticking to the plan, while Twilight is known for thinking that stopping time might be a good idea. When they have more time to think the positions might reverse, but at the moment it's natural for them to be like that.
8080038 They sounded too natural...They sounded like people discussing a broken down car " how much will it cost?...oh well what can you do?"
Instead of discussing a case of child abuse.
Heck where is Applejack's outcry?...strangely silent I see...
The hardest part about writing an emotional scene is realizing that logic plays very little into emotions. Logic has a small roll yes, but when emotions are running high logic more often than not goes out the window...which is why people are often told to calm down and think before they act.
This scene had everyone acting far too logically...which is odd and disturbing...no normal individual reacts logic first. There is a reason why there is specialized training that police and military go through so they react logically and rationally first instead of on emotions.
Honestly I feel like I am discussing normal human/pony emotions with Spock from Star Trek.
There has to be an illogical outburst before there can be a calm logical discussion.
*A Stack full of nachos plops down on Celestia's head at the lunch table. Luna reaches out with her magic and takes some. she crunches down on the warm mix of flavors.* "Tis a most wonderful creation"
mhmm a nice read indeed.
It's been said time and time again about how bad Snails' life is. I don't think anybody (at least the characters in the story) brought this up, but Escargot's life truly is better than Snails' life. Since they are technically the same person, they have the exact same personality and everything other than looks, gender, and voice. Yet it's these things that hinders Snails from getting many friends and revealing his really likable personality. But as Escargot, ponies notice her beauty and instantly get to know her. As you know, this lead to Escargot being pulled into the Princess contest thing which enriched her life. Now that she's continent-wide popular (Equestria is its own island thing, right?), Escargot has many friends, is becoming skilled at magic, was chosen by the Element of Magic, is a candidate for ascension, and even saved the day twice
(despite one being by accident). (Actually, judging by her vision in the Crystal Heart, it may seem she will ascend down the path.) Almost anybody would want this fate except for Escargot herself, who just wants to lay back and enjoy a simple life.But is it really worth it? To go back to the simpler times means not wielding the Element of Magic, not receiving magic training, not being popular, not having many friends, and returning to his family to be raised like the earth pony that Snails isn't. Of course, these can't be taken away and the Element Bearers'
Replacements'duties can be worked out by the Main Six. So while Snails can return to the simple life for the most part, Escargot can't. Not to mention, due to how Twilight turned out, many already see her as the next alicorn and may already treat her like a real princess.Sorry for the long comment, but man I love this story.
8085033 Those are some very good points there. How such minor differences can completely change everything. And really, all Escargot/Snails wants to do is go back to being in the background.
Earth ponies can be very stubborn at times.
I think that's just your family AJ! I read a few stories when she and Granny Smith were pretty stubborn.
Basing it off of Nyx and Colt of the forest.
“You’ve got mail.”
8078464
I don't know what about Gendo Ikari?
8090540
Maybe Gendo Ikari. Shinji never found out about most of the awful ways his dad screwed him over out of apathy. Genma took a far more personal approach in ruining Ranmas life at every turn.
8090636 Gendo definitely wins that one. Genma at least gave Ranma an incredible amount of power with his martial arts, even if he didn't teach him anything else. All Shinji ever got was abuse. That and mental trauma from watching everyone around him go insane or falling to depression.
8080038 I think they do have a elgal option but not beign used. Twilight has said a unicorn of his power not beign properly trained is Physically dangerous. THAT ALONE IS GROUNDS FOR REMOVAL.
8108646 That is possible... as long as there's a law regarding that. It's quite possible no one thought about making one like that. After all, the parents of such a unicorn are living in the epicenter of the possible surge, so they would be the first to cart their child to CSGU as fast as equinely possible. Snails situation is rather unique since he's not only a child of non-unicorn but also has someone like Long Haul for a father. I'm pretty sure that doesn't happen often.
8108773 maybe not often but the chances there isn't a law about it is very remote.
You know, I'm starting to think Spike has a magical sense for when to bring snacks out.
“Mmmm… Battered cod from the Griffin Sea in tartar sauce.” Gisa almost purred, rolling over on the pillow.
Mmmmm that does sound good! 🤤
Nice one. It brought a chuckle and a big grin to my face.
You know, if Celestia didn’t know that snails was twilight’s pupil, i might be ok with this. But really, she’s just being horribly OOC at this point.
9117457
I mean, this is no longer just about Snails.
From his perspective, yes, it's terrible. But the Elements as magical artifacts of rainbow death lasers have been gone for a while. And now Snails is essentially a new Bearer.
And Celestia took a personal student not because of tradition, but because Twilight showed slight signs of being able to bear an Element.
This is about Equestria now, not his secret.