Part 9
“Dear Princess Twilight, an unusual situation has been brought to my attention: the young filly named ‘Escargot’ could use some watching over, and a little help. Would you be so kind as to take her under your wing, and make sure she doesn’t get into too much trouble?
Honorably yours, Princess Celestia.”
Snails ½ What They all Seek
The tour of Canterlot Castle began in the statue garden. At each of the statues, various trivia and the minutiae of the statue’s history were relayed to Escargot. It was worst than a school field trip, and there was no getting out of it. Eventually, they moved on to the animal garden, with its panoply of exotic animals. This would be great, if he were Fluttershy and not himself.
Oh Celestia, Snails was having enough trouble being Escargot; being Fluttershy would be impossible. Sticking close to Rarity, Escargot worked hard to keep himself shielded from Diamond Tiara. That filly was looking for trouble, and had a habit of making it.
“Oh, there she is!” Escargot heard a mare call out, as she trotted up with a colt in tow.
The colt poked out from behind the mare, “Mom, I don’t want to.”
“Oh nonsense, she’s perfect for you, and I’m sure we could afford any bride token.” The mare said. Turning, she smiled winningly at Escargot, “Hello Princess, I wish to present my son to you: this is Bolt, a fine, strong colt, who would be thrilled to accompany you to the Ball tonight.”
“I-I-” Escargot was at a loss for words: what was a bride token? Why did he need an escort? And why did it have to be a colt?
“Stand aside, m’lady. I hear there is a new Princess in town. As a royal prince, it will be my DUTY to take her to the Ball. There I can woo her with tales of my…” Prince Blueblood was in full form until he saw Rarity.
Narrowing her eyes, Rarity saw only Blueblood in a world of red. The cad! The pervert! He wanted to woo a child? A foal?
“Escargot, close your eyes.” Rarity said firmly and dangerously.
Escargot flattened his ears timidly. “Why?”
“I am about to do something very unladylike to this- TRAMP, and I would rather you not see.” Rarity said, stalking menacingly towards the prince.
Closing his eyes, Escargot turned his head away and cringed.
“Wait, what are you doing? Not that!” Blueblood screamed and whined piteously. “Anything but that! Have mercy, I didn’t know… I didn’t know she was a foal.”
Cries of fear and agony filled the air. Blueblood was screaming as though the demons of Tartarus were on his tail. “Oh Celestia, NOT MY COAT! ANYTHING BUT MY COAT!”
Unable to resist, Escargot chanced a peek.
The prince was curled up on the ground, wailing, almost in tears. Rarity stood close by, horn aglow, a large - glop- of mud in her magical grip. Holding it close to his side, she spoke clearly and evenly. “If you bother this foal again, it will not be mud. It will be a mixture of grape juice, oil, and ink that stains your coat.”
Escargot blinked, confused. Tilting his head, Escargot walked to Rarity’s side, "Wouldn't bubble gum in the mane and tail work?"
Prince Blueblood howled in fear and ran for the castle. Apparently, the idea of bubble gum was just too much for his refined tastes.
Rarity gave Escargot a quick hug and giggled. “Boys sometimes. Honestly, they can be such whiners.”
A great deal more upbeat, they followed their guide inside the castle. The next part of the tour included the throne room- home of the Sister’s Thrones-, the kitchen, with its many chefs and enough food to feed half of Ponyville, and the ballroom, with its immense, elegant statue. Slowly, they made their way through the castle: from the vaunted Royal Library (with the largest collection of joke books in Equestria), to the Hall of Heroes, its figures shining forever in the stillness.
Then, the so-called Palace Baths: a spa the size of a large swimming pool, complete with hot tubs, attached sauna, and decorative fountains. For Escargot, it was only a chamber of horrors: everywhere she looked, there was another threat to Escargot, another source of fearful hot water, that could make her change in public.
Backing out of the room as fast as he dared, Escargot didn’t see the server carrying afternoon tea for the princess (Well, the hot water for it anyway. The Princess insisted on brewing it herself.)
The water found its mark: all over Snails’s back. He bolted down the hall before anypony could see him. He had to run, to hide. He had to get away.
All the server saw was the back of his dress and his hat as it turned down one of the corridors.
“What did you do?” Rarity asked.
“I didn’t see her, I swear, I dropped a full pot of tea water on her! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to!” The alarmed server apologized profusely.
“She’s not from Canterlot. We have to find her, she’s probably hurt and terrified!” Rarity began running before she even finished the sentence.
“GUARDS! GUARDS! We have a lost filly who ran off, scared!”
Oh Celestia, they were calling out the royal guards. He was completely doomed! He had to hide, had to find somewhere safe!
A pair of double doors at the end of the hall was his only hope. Without even looking, he dove inside and slammed it shut. Panting hard, he kept his eyes closed for a few long moments as he caught his breath.
He opened them to see Princess Celestia herself.
She stood in her royal attire, wings spread wide, mane and tail flowing with power. She wore her golden necklace and hoof guards, as if ready for some courtly function. Looking down at Snails, she responded with only an arched eyebrow at the colt who barged in. A colt that was wearing a summer dress and sunhat.
“I… I…” Snails was at a loss. It was just his luck: of course he would run into Princess Celestia, of all ponies. He couldn’t lie. He couldn’t make something up. Even having his life flash before his eyes was getting a little dull, especially when very little got added between reruns.
Folding her wings to her side calmly and regally, Celestia regarded the foal, “Care to explain yourself?”
Sliding to the floor, Snails started balling. “Please don’t banish me, please. It’s not my fault. I wasn’t trying to trick anyone or fool anyone. I fell in this cursed spring, now I keep turning into a filly when I’m hit with cold water. Hot water turns me back to a colt. I didn’t mean any harm. Just everything got so out of control.”
Looking up at Princess Celestia with puffy eyes, Snails went on. “The girls said they needed me to win for them, I didn’t want to even be in the contest. Then Noi and Dinky started crying when I shared the prize with them. Then my mom thought I stole the dress and grounded me. Please don’t banish me to the moon.”
Without really moving, Celestia picked up a pitcher of water and moved it over Snails. With a gentle motion, she poured its contents over him. Tilting her head curiously, she watched him turn into a filly: the same filly from the Harvest Festival.
The door opened quickly and a guard ran in, “Sorry Princess, one of the guests…”
Celestia merely pointed to Escargot and winked.
Nodding slowly, the guard helped Escargot to her hooves. Carefully, he guided her back out to the tour.
Having the room to herself once more, Celestia closed the door and locked it. Sitting on her bed, she looked at the empty water pitcher and placed it back on the table. Falling back onto her bed, she spread her wings wide and curled her forelegs. Closing her eyes, she started to guffaw in a most un-princess-like manner. “Oh my, this is so much better than watching Discord try to do stand-up comedy.”
Hardly able to lift her quill, she fumbled with the parchment, still laughing uncontrollably. “Dear Princess Twilight…”
...and the hammer falls.
I love trollestia.
Lol I loved this chapter, and it warms my heart to see blueblood cry like a filly. And now that Celestia knows of Snails condition, knowing her she will find a way to extend the whole princess Escargot thing further, just to keep a close eye on Snails just to keep amused. After all a Bored sun goddess is a very dangerous thing
6121601 Well, she did put Twilight on the case, and that's pretty much the best way to ensure at least 3 seasons of fun (unless, of course, Snail confesses to the first pretty colt he sees in the next chapter and gets a cure).
Ah but if you stick to Jusenkyo lore, there shouldn't be a cure XD and thus poor snails should be stuck with his curse for all of his/her days. On a side note, I wish I had that curse.
6121780 Don't worry, i'm sure Celestia will help with things. Maybe some waterproof soap, labeled "Only to be used during cold showers, not safe for Scootaloo's"
6121805 Ohhh good idea!! I also foresee, Escargot, being the target of Rarity for more dress ideas and modeling. What could be even more amusing if her (Escargot's) popularity amongst the ponys of "nobility" grew and grew as a result. I can just SEE Diamond getting more and more pissed as a result. On a side note I actually see Silver Spoon as more redeemable then DT, if she could only find a real friend. So what if somehow Escargot, befriended Silver and Silver slowly began to change her ways? This would have the delightful side effect of making Diamond even more mad
6121780 If we stick to that, there is a cure to every Jusenkyo curse.
It's just the curse's inherent bad luck makes it pretty much unobtainable for anyone cursed.
Still, it's Equestria, not Japan, there are more ways to cure a curse... that is, if someone will be able to persuade Twilight yet again that curses do exist.
6122024 Twilight's jaw dropped as she watched Escargot, change into snails, her eyes wide as saucers.....
"Twilight.exe has encountered an error and needs to close"
Heh oh Celly you troll.
Sounds interesting.
Will read later.
6121780 It would be a fun curse to have, but on the flip side, you'd have to either tell everyone you met, or lead two lives. Also, getting proper ID would be a nightmare.
6123053 That might be true, but I would be willing to deal with those issues
Well Snails could just say he likes girls while female. Think everypony is open minded enough.
............BAH!! Funny image desparte to prove it Escargot kisses the first fillie he or she can grab and is Diamond.
6123139 Plus, Think of the pranks you could play.
6123945 True
6124040 actually yeah, and you could just keep hot and cold thermoses on you, so you could change whenever. I'm liking this idea!
6124231 Yes but consider the legal implication. Currently the law has enough trouble recognizing normal transgender people. The simple act of going to the bathroom in someplace would cause problems. Now consider jail cells, work, and other such.
6124386 I read a story in which due to washu from tenchi muyu and mihoshi, a virus with Jusenkyo properties was unleashed upon the world. by the end of the story everybody on earth was capable of changing genders, so with water, some not. XD
6123333 Then they'll marry him to Diamond Tiara immediately, no matter if he kisses her or not.
6124386 Nah, that's simple. Dual ID, additional page in the passport, not much trouble at all (of course, if the curse is common enough). If it's rare, it should be pretty simple to keep it a secret from those who don't need to know - after all, how often you are covered with enough water to trigger it normally?
Of course, some activities are limited to cold/hot water forms, so that's a thing one should be mindful, but otherwise, most problem with the curse in those stories are due to the cursed being extremely stupid.
...which is yet another why Snails is a perfect one for the role, if you think of it.
6124593 And actually, I came up with an idea: have a small insulated bottle of hot and cold water, that are hooked up to a sponge-like pad that would slowly release cold or hot water depending on a switch, which would essentially force you into one form or the other depending on what it's set to. And you would have to pick one form to do everything with, and get the id for that. It'd be a little risky, but not too bad.
The only flaw I can think of for the system would be if you were in cold water while you had the device set to warm water. IDK what happens if you have both at the same time. And, of course, if you ran out of water for the device. that would be bad.
6125633 That raises the question of how much water required to trigger a switch. Based on what Ranma had for him, it's at least a glass of water at once, and the constant application of water doesn't hold the effect (in fact, many cases show that after the water has been applied, it loses the effect, so the hot water may cool and dry naturally after the application without triggering the curse).
In short, that thing most likely won't work.
But normally human gets drenched unwillingly less than once a year, so any form could be used as "dry" form, while cursed form is locked for cold water situations (like pool, beach and such), and uncursed - for taking a bath. All in all, pretty easy to manage, especially if there are always a thermos handy to quickly fix after an accident (if one of the forms are preferred during the day for some reason).
Now if only I find the reason why I spent so much time thinking all this through...
6125749 Call it a thought experiment.
What did I start?!?!
What did I do!?!?!
This is just a funny story and readers are having serious discussions about things?!?!
6126419 That just proves your writing an excellent story!
6126419 You gave a likable character to one of the most universally hated morons of MLP, the one that have absolute zero on "redeeming qualities" list in the show. It shocks people into things.
6126419 ..yes..? ...... idon'tknow!
ok now this just got interesting Celestia is on the job and getting Twilight involved.
regarding people giving serious contemplation as to the nature and effects of a jusenkyo style curse, I offer only this: it's just a silly fanfic based on a popular cartoon featuring talking ponies, stop overthinking things.
6125749 ahh, this takes me back to the discussion on the old Fan Fiction Mailing List. Where a great deal of Ranma fan-fiction got its start.
The fan head-canon was that attracting water was part of the curse. Ranma only ever got splashed with hot water if such a thing would cause him embarrassment of the worst sort. Cold water just seemed to happen with random frequency.
Rarity gave Escargot a quick hug and giggled. “Boys sometimes. Honestly, they can be such whiners.”
Oh you haven't met my little brother
hello Trollestia
Shes having a ball!
This is probably the most fun Celestia has had in a long time considering her immortality.
7404083
As a boy, I completely agree with that statement.
Heresy, I say.