No matter how much I try, no matter how much I succeed, no matter how much I put my best efforts, I am always alone. No friends. No family. No love. Nothing. I'm treated like I'm nothing. That what I've always been. Lonely. Loneliness has been my only friend in... well, ever. Nopony cares about me, they all talk behind my back. I can never experience friendship.
I want to change all that. I don't want anymore of new terrible experiences. I have even moved to another new town to be rid of it all of the past. I wants friends. I want to feel like I have some family in my life. I want to love. Things that I will always dream for in my life, that's all I want.
But no matter what you tell me, I simply can't. I can't tell if the new ponies that I meet want to be my friend, or are master actors and puppeteers, treating me like another disposable puppet. HI can't ever trust another pony ever again. Can I? I don't know. Should I make any attempt? I don't even know if I have any hope left.
The only hope I have left is that I don't go insane... Please... Somepony... Let me experience friendship... Let me have a friend. Is that too much to ask for?
But whatever happens, he needs and will too learn many things. And I am forced to watch everything that goes on. And then somepony, at the end of it all, will have revenge.
Wow. This is . . . dark.
Kinda depressing.
Feels, lots of feels. This was really good, I expect updates from now on in a timely manner to get my dose of feels.
You've got talent, son
5973636 Thanks. I'll try to update as often as I can. The first chapter took about 4 or 5 days to make. The next one may be released on the 21st or 22nd.
I'm contemplating putting my other story (Tale of a Human's Sanity) on hiatus for maybe a month or less, considering it's just easier to write this story for some reason. I guess 'T rated' depression stories are easier to write than... 'M rated' insanity stories. It's hard to write both with the space of a week, and I kinda get writer's block trying to write 'Human's Sanity'. Lonely is easier in the sense that it's based off canon episodes, and Human's Sanity is trying to write misunderstanding conflict for the main character, making most of it up entirely.
Also, it comes down to which base do you want to please more, as in which one to update more often for the people who follow the certain story, that is. I'm unsure here.
The writing is fairly well done for the most part
I would suggest a few more breaks so it does not look like a wall of words.
I love the detail, but too much time is spent in the main character's head, and after a few paragraphs it becomes tedious.
The detail on how he feels is important, but some of it can be expressed through his actions as well as the actions of other characters which can help keep the reader interested.
A big thing you might want to change is the colors of your OC...if nothing else.
A black OC with a red mane is something that has been over done to the point that most people will not read a story if the main character is a black OC with a red mane.
Honestly you do have some talent and I would love to see more of your stuff in the future.
5998263 Thanks. I made the OC's colours up on the spot.
Another awesome addition!
Feels feels feels feels feels feels feels
5998263 And actually is was an OC with a black coat and a green mane.
5999952 Thanks mate. I'm glad your... pleased.
I have a name for the main OC in my head, but I would like your take on what his name should be. Giving an opportunity to the readers to decide his name if you really want to.
Ignore this now.
Also the second chapter 'Pegasi of the Town' was merged with the another one, if there are any inconviences.
THEESE FEELS!
...is this a HiE...?
SONUVABITCH
still there was feels though
6033521 No it isn't, I don't attend for it to be
Not much feels there..
good chapter though!
I think I need an editor and another Co-Writer Chief, because this is all hard work. I'm figuring in releasing whatever chapters I have finished at the end of the month, including one or two new stories that will be released.
Lonely is currently on hold as Human's Sanity is getting a remake, and it's the more popular story of mine. And the fact that I have writer's block, sorry.
So enjoy this latest chapter for now. Will most likely continue in August, or possibly earlier.
6033535 ...Then why did you give him a human name?
6165410 If I give reasons it will spoil the story. You'll find out... eventually. If I ever get to that point in the story. And that may take a while.
To anyone still bothering to follow this story, I'm now back in the writing process, as it seems that I bombed Human's Sanity to no end. Let's just say, the remake isn't good. I may just continue the original series, seeing as how people were just following that.
So about that comment I made three weeks ago. I... kinda lied. I worked on the first thousand words, then broke off, all of a sudden. The reasons for that is I had injured myself in sport two weeks ago, and the video game I usually play is working again. So yeah, that's why there is a further push back of this chapter. Also, I'm reconsidering where I want to go with the First Season chapters. As in, everything up until Discord. I have a good idea in the back of my head that hopefully isn't going anywhere, but we'll just see what happens. This next chapter won't directly involve the actual episode yet. It will come out... within the next week. Though with my history of saying things should come out when they should, I have a terrible track record. See on FanFiction.net of 'Tale of a Human's Sanity', and not the remake I made that everyone seems to hate for some reason. So yeah, take my words for a grain of salt.
I didn't forget about this story. It's getting more followers than I ever thought it would. At this point in time, I'm in at around 1,900 words.
A new chapter only took two and a half months. Hahahahaha.
Hey, did you know there might be a chance that I could post a new chapter in the near-future? Well, that would be implying that I had an idea for the next chapter...
... Is this stallion Sombra's child? From the last part of this chapter, it seems like it to me...
Erm, i know it probably isn't the case but
The Seeming lack of meaning in his life
The Pull/Tug to Exact revenge on the ponies who hurt him, and to join Nightmare moon/ evil guys
The Burning Heart and want of friends + friendship
Not Being Able to fight back
A Choice to hold on (listen to celestia and choose friendship) or give in (Nightmares and maybe joining NM)
There is a voice in the back of my head saying DETERMINATION
really like this so far, good work
6923728 If you're implying he'll turn evil... Perhaps. I find it unlikely myself, but it isn't outside the realm of possibility.
I was shocked when I saw this has gotten a new update. Even if this isn't a new chapter, I am ecstatic to know that this story hadn't been fully pushed off the cliff. Anyways, I can't wait for the next chapter, (if there is one) so please don't rush or pressure yourself with this. You have all the time in your lifespan, or until the world ends in a fiery pit of fire. Take care.
Kingofeggs.
7443897 Thanks. I wanted to keep ongoing with this story, then I ran into a few writer's block moments. Then personal stuff happened (nothing bad), and a lot of school work happened. But now I'm back, I suppose.
Still gives me feels
Moar
media.tenor.co/images/304146cfbd1c39a7ecab29a8ea65d111/raw
DEAAF BY FEELS!
Kinda at a loss on how to continue. Again.