Lonely

by JuliusPhillp

Mare of the Night (A Night to Remember, Part 1)

Author's Note:

This was originally all going to be in one part, but I decided to make it a two-parter for length-issues and for trying to release chapters more often.

A star.
A moon.
A planet.
A city on the verge of destruction.
Ponies falling in despair and sorrow.
"In three days, thousands of ponies here, this city, will begin dying of thirst... Just like he wanted.
"Open your eyes… This is your fault… Remember that I didn't do this. Not me. You did this."
Fire. Flames. Dark smoke. Streets in ruins.
A wounded pony, crushed by rock and rubble. "The water's gone… that's all that matters." Takes deep lasting dying breaths. "Buck, this ain't how it's supposed to end.
"Look, if ponies find out what he did, and what happened here… they'll declare war on us.
And we'll lose. Now they'll never know…
"I'm insane? S'funny… Reid said the same thing."
Coughing.
"What I did may not a' been nice. But it was right.
"Besides, it's not like I'm walking outta here."
Guilt, blood.
"I hope you can live a happy life from all the things that I did… I'm sorry."

---

All I ever want is a friend. Right now, all I ever need is a friend. If I don't have one by the end of the night… I'll think about it later. Right now, the Summer Sun Celebration is being held down at some building. Princess Celestia will be there. I don't think I want to meet her. Why she would even meet somepony like me… nothing special. I… guess I'll go there. I've got nothing to lose right now… except my existence. As if anypony would care about me being gone. Even if they feel guilty, which they won't, I'm just another punching bag for them to kick around when I am here.

I walk down the stairs once more, passing the guitar and keyboard as they still stare at me with promise, wanting to still invite me to play broken musical instruments, which I had no idea over how to play. I don't see any point to play them. Ever… It's out of the question right now due… to my life's fate. You know, yourself. Don't remind yourself. There was nothing happening during the town ever since those… since the incidents. Until right now, there was actually something going on in this town. Which explains ponies running around everywhere in some rush today when I saw them outside my bedroom window. Thankfully, both pegasi mares were nowhere to be found.

I may regret anything in my life from this moment on, or I just… just, may like it. Dreaming wild things that will never come true…

I place my hoof on the doorknob, with no hesitation at all now. Another new things since coming to this town. But I didn't open it… I notice there is a latter that had been slipped through the bottom of the door. Who would even give me a message, and why would they? This isn't an apology letter from the yellow pegasi, because the pink mare would still come around and bother me. Don't see why they would put any, any effort to apologize to me. It's farcical.

I pick up the white letter with my mouth, my teeth being nearly-fully white and not yellow. Well, I don't ever eat any lollies and sweets. No point… And it's just not healthy. I sat on the chair in the kitchen as I tore open the letter with my teeth. Let's see who would waste their time to send me a letter. The Celebration is in like half an hour, so it can wait for now. The letter…

W-Wha… The letter was from… Princess Celestia. Why would she send me a letter? Tartarus, why would she even want with me? Nopony cares about me… Did she know about what happened days ago? How was that accomplish? Again, nopony cares about me. I see no reason for them to even tell anypony. Let alone the leader of an entire country.

Whatever… I lost the reason to get answers to questions that won't ever be answered a long time ago. Don't start again now. Especially… considering my decision. Let's... What does this have to say?

Dear I'm not reading that part. How does she even know my name? I never told anypony. I know you haven't been able to attend those other past meetings I've wanted to have with you… Oh yeah… I remember those. I didn't want to waste your time, Celestia. There was nothing of worth to speak with me, other than awkward silences and the possibility of being assaulted by your guards. That would be a new experience. But I would really love it if you could show up to the Summer Sun Celebration and watch me raise the sun. Well, I was going to do that. Though, she personally asked me to come if I decided not to… I've… heard the things that have happened to you during the past few weeks of being in your new home… Y-You ha-have? And I would like to talk to you about it. You must have many things to share in your life, and I would very much like to hear them… and about the incidents. I just wish for you, a citizen of Equestria, to be okay. Love, Princess Celestia.

Love… As if. And, that's exactly one of the problems that I have. I have nothing to share. I even feel especially bad for making up excuses to escape her invitations for these meetings she wanted to have, considering the fact that it's the leader of the ponies' main country, not the Griffon Kingdom (Griffonia? Not sure what it's called) or the Dragon Kingdom, or Draconia. Equestria. I didn't even respond to some of them, not that I would even if she is a Princess. Is it probably disrespectful, I know… I can't muster the strength to answer them most of the time. I… Why is she wasting her time on me? I just don't even know what to do with myself anymore. I could analyse that letter even further, like her even wishing for me to be okay. Probably just a PR thing.

Placing the letter away and leaving an undecided decision, I took in a deep breath and released it in front of the door, throwing it in the bushes as I walked outside and closed the door. I still haven't gotten a lock, not that I need it… Oh yeah. The incidents… Just… try to ignore everypony… don't even look at them… They aren't feeling sympathy for you, they don't want to be friendly with you… it's an act. Unless I'm told otherwise… just keep walking.

I couldn't describe how much of a chore this was for me. Again. They're laughing at me behind their back or hiding it behind their faces. I just know it! I can't stand the thought of that… Maybe if I focus on Princess Celestia… I could forget everypony else… Tartarus, she is the first pony too even care about me… right now. We'll see how much of this is true, as much as I don't want to. My life depends of the following moments of going to this Celebration.

---

Spike

---

I don't know if I should be excited right now. I guess that I should be.

Sure, I'm going to see Princess Celestia raise the sun, again, on this 'glorious' occasion as Twilight would probably put it. The fact that were in a new town, Twilight being ordered to make new friends in this nice and friendly town (even though I heard some brutal incident went down over a week ago), ponies here seemed really nice. Applejack, who was a bit too friendly, made me full for the rest of the day, mind you. Rainbow Dash, the funny, yet egotistical pegasi who can fly really fast. Fluttershy… the one who adores me. And I'm find with that, she seems really nice. And… Rarity. She looked beautiful to me. I h-have… I think I m-might h-have crush on her… love at first sight, I… think. I hope Twilight doesn't notice or she wouldn't leave me alone for it, or just press me further than I want her to.

But… everypony here that Twilight has made a friend with… are mares. And I'm a male. A male dragon. A baby dragon… I don't think I can relate to any of them. I am a baby dragon, they'll probably treat me as such until… years down the line, I guess. I want a best friend that isn't a mare. I can't related to most of the things Twilight does, even if I am her Number One Assistant, which I'm thankful for. She's… like my surrogate mother.

But not even she will relate to some of the things that I like. I want a best friend that is a male. He'll probably relate to some of the stuff that I like. I… I kinda feel… lonely. I don't know how long I'll be treated like a baby. I'll grow older, mature… But not today. Or tomorrow. Or next week, or next month… I want a best friend. Twilight doesn't count. And I barely know any other pony.

"Come on, Spike! The Summer Sun Celebration starts in a few minutes!" She ordered with a smile, more excited and looking happier than I am. I'm lucky that I have a family, when I think about it. I won't ever betray her or forget about her. She's always been there for me… Twilight. Well, a Celebration is about to start, Spike! Maybe… Maybe Rarity's there. She probably is! Oh, better look your best!

---

The Stallion

---

I made it just in time, about two minutes before it began, to hear birds singing in a choir directed by one… pegasi. No. No, no, no. One of them are actually here. And she is directing a choir of birds… I suddenly don't want to be here. I could just turn around and leave, never come back. But… that would go against the Princess' wishes of me being here. Oh… I hate choices like this. Should have never left the house. I could just walk forward and attempt to ignore her, and the cyan pegasi is she is here (which she probably is, seems like everypony in town is here, not focusing on me, thankfully).

I started walking towards the opened entrance doors… only to see her turn around and see me. I regret this. She froze when she laid her green eyes upon my green eyes. Her jaw was opened for the slightest of seconds as we both stared at each other. I, staring at her with fear, as I slowly backed away. Thankfully mostly everypony was inside and didn't see this confrontation. She… started to shake and… backed away as well? Was she scared of me? That… the expression on her face looks like she is even more terrified of me.

She was moving towards the doors as she was backing away, the birds all flying off in the same direction. Okay, I got bigger things to think about. She quickly dashed inside, moving through the crowd of ponies in there that I couldn't see her from out here. Do I want to go in there? It's most likely that she'll get her cyan pegasi, her friend. Well, it would only waste my time, if anything. Cautiously, hesitation as always, I walked inside.

I looked around and picked a spot in the back of the room. I wanted to try to be as far from anypony as possible, to be honest. Hopefully, the pegasi mares won't even notice me being here. Or anypony for that matter. So far, other than the yellow pegasi, nopony cares that I'm here. Well, caring for all the wrong reasons. Where did those birds go?

"Fillies and gentlecolts," The spotlight from the front lowered to shine on a mare, coloured in a light greyish amber coat, a light grey mane with a white collar around her neck, with a cutie mark that I couldn't make out, addressing everypony at the front of the stage. "As mayor of Ponyville," Guess that makes sense. "It is my great pleasure to announce the beginning of the Summer Sun Celebration!" At this point, everypony in the building cheered. I remained quiet, silently looking around and placing a hoof on my foreleg. At least I'm not the focus of anypony right now. Don't know if that will change. Knowing my luck, it's most likely that it will.

She continued after the cheering died down. "In just a few moments, our town will witness the magic of the sunrise, and celebrate this, the longest day of the year! And now, it is my great honour to introduce to you the ruler of our land, the very pony who gives us the sun and the moon each and every day, the good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria..." She paused for a moment, for dramatic effect? I have no clue. Now that I think about it, I can't exactly remember what she looks like. "...Princess Celestia!" She presented, signalling the mare above to pull the rope. I happened to notice that that mare was… the white unicorn filly. Who was with the pink mare and the yellow pegasi? Well… at least she is too busy to even notice me.

However, when the curtains opened and the spotlight moved to reveal Princess Celestia, there was actually nothing to reveal. Um… I can already feel that there is something wrong. Rarity was the first one to notice this as she was deeply surprised, along with pretty much with everypony in this room, as they looked at each other, chattering quietly, but slowly the chatter became of a nervous tone. "Huh?" She expressed. I was just… Why isn't the Princess here? I'm pretty sure there is something bad that's going to happen. It's a hunch…

"Remain calm, everypony, there must be a reasonable explanation!" The mayor tried to assure, failing. Ponies were getting even more nervous now as I await for something to happen. I wasn't worried that the Princess was here. I'm going to die, anyways…

"Ooh, ooh, I love guessing games!" A familiar voice high-pitched and somewhat squeaky voice exclaimed out from the front rows. Ugh… Everypony really is here. As long as the attention isn't on me at all. "Is she hiding?" She asked, bouncing up and down with excitement, in an innocent manner. I also notice that the yellow pegasi is next to her. Hopefully, my presence hasn't been alerted.

Rarity came out of the room or area Princess Celestia was supposed to be in, looking shocked and in disbelief. "She's gone!" I know why, now, as she announced, receiving a large amount of gasps coming from... everypony but me. I just, and I may regret this, but I… don't care.

"Ooh, she's good!" The pink mare released. Did she think that this was a game? She really is insane. Suddenly, she was cut short on her fun when a sudden blue mist appeared on the balcony, causing her to gasp. Everypony else gasped as I looked around clueless, having no clue on what was going on or even what was supposed to go on. Where is Princess Celestia? Was she imprisoned by… the mysterious blue mist. Well, how am I supposed to know? I'm… not important to anything.

The blue mist enlarged until it finally it exploded for a moment, spreading out and revealed… a tall dark-coloured alicorn pony with light blue armour, who laughed sinisterly. A pony that was as large as Princess Celestia, if I can remember exactly. I've… never heard of this alicorn before. She seemed… important in some way if she is this large. Am I supposed to be trembling in fear that the Princess isn't hear right now. Well, I guess. But my decision, if I remember...

"Oh, my beloved subjects…" She announced calmly with an evil-ish tone before us. Wait, she isn't the ruler of Equestria… Is she going to take over the throne? "It's been so long since I've seen your precious, little sun-loving faces." Err…

"What did you do with our Princess?!" Another pony spoke out, with a cracked and raspy. The… cyan pegasi. It's getting better and better. She tried insanely to fly right up into the Alicorn's face, which was stupid, but was held back by some other pony. A pegasi versing an Alicorn? She… bullies.

"Whoa there, Nelly..." …who was the country mare, still wearing that brown hat. Is… I don't know. The pegasi still struggled for a second, before backing off. The Alicorn merely laughed in amusement.

Why, am I not royal enough for you? Don't you know who I am?" She asked, changing her tone into a slightly irritated one. Well, no. Quite frankly, you look like a villain. I wouldn't say these things out loud, whether the decision was going to happen or not, because… I'm still not courageous in any way.

"Ooh, ooh, more guessing games!" She isn't bright, in the sense of being smart. Common sense, really. How is she just not taking things seriously? "Um, Hokey Smokes! How about... Queen Meanie! No! Black Snooty, Black Snooty—" At least the ramblings ended when she was immediately silenced when Applejack forced an apple in her mouth... From nowhere.

"Does my crown no longer count now that I have been imprisoned for a thousand years?" She- Wait, what? A thousand years? Imprisoned? Things are starting to make some sort of sense. Well, she asked, frightening a number of ponies in the first few rows, mainly at the yellow pegasi, causing her to flinch. This act of hers is really good. "Did you not recall the legend? Did you not see the signs?" She continued as she moved to Rarity. What is she talking about? Like I'm supposed to have this in mind?

"I did!" Another pony suddenly announced out loud for every one of us to hear. A mare, at that. "And I know who you are. You're the Mare in the Moon – Nightmare Moon!" She was lavender unicorn with a purple mane, which I've never seen in this town. Everypony gasped again from the accusation. Nightmare Moon?

"Well, well, well, somepony who remembers me. Then you also know why I'm here." Nightmare Moon stomped a hoof down, expecting an answer from the lavender unicorn. She is probably here to conquer Equestria. Wouldn't be surprised.

"You're here to... to..." The unicorn stopped and gulped, unable to finish her sentence for some reason. Something sinister-related, maybe?

Nightmare Moon chuckled loudly, smiling deviously. "Remember this day, little ponies, for it was your last. From this moment forth, the night will last forever!" The night to last forever? That sounds ridiculous… but due to her surprise entrance and Celestia's disappearance… It sounds scary, actually. As soon as she ended her sentence, her voice emerged into a loud cackle as thunder boomed and lightning flashed above her. She stood fearlessly below the intimating show, while I was standing at the back of the room still, away from others as it looked like they were getting scared.

I don't think this is a joke, or some show that I wasn't aware of. It's a pretty good one if it is… I don't know what to think right now. Too many… things going on. Still, I'm getting no reason to even be here right now. Nopony cares, and I'm probably a small stepping stone to Nightmare Moon. Like… everypony that meets me. I'm not worth her time, the Princess' time, or anypony's time. I don't… I guess I wanted to stop her. Eternal night? Well, it didn't bother me, really. I'm going to not exist anymore, anyways.

That's why I'm not in as much fear as I should be. I… don't really care. Don't see why I should. Everypony is selfish, deceiving, evil in their own way. They mean nothing to me, as I mean nothing to them. Even if there are some nice ponies out there who don't deserve to be treated like this, not being me or anypony realistically, then… they deserve friends. I don't know or think if I deserve friends…

I just stood there motionless, probably in shock and fear, maybe, or just blanked out. The night… could be worse for me. What should I think now? I think… I should better leave right now, before things get even more hectic.

Nightmare Moon continued to cackle loudly as, what was supposed to be her mane that was flowing somehow, clouded up the air space above her, which also served as a nesting site for thunder and lightning. She just watched, most likely amused as ponies were getting even more panicky.

"Seize her!" The Mayor ordered, pointing viciously towards the seemingly hostile pony, which I don't think would do anything as she seems unstoppable right now. "Only she knows where the Princess is!" She does? Well… Yeah it makes sense. Princess Celestia's royal guards, coming from who knows where (I didn't see them, let alone notice them), quickly ascended and headed towards Nightmare Moon. Straight at her.

"Stand back, you fools!" She shouted intimidatingly and shot out lightning towards them, hitting each target. She continued to laugh at her chaotic behaviour of panicking ponies and guards making suicide charges. Really, aren't they the Royal Guard? Her laughter died down after several moments, her transparent mane surrounded her, followed by a sudden flash, where she teleported away, I believe.

Now, I don't know why I sticked around to see that, since now everypony immediately began panicking and even screaming in fear, making it harder to leave. I could only look around in alarm as some others even pushed and shoved me in a hurry, which was really irritating. I eventually escaped out the doors as I looked up at the night sky. It will always be there… forever. And ever. Unlike the fate of my life. Well, I was given no reason to live right now. I made my way towards Evertree Forest.

I noticed the lavender unicorn rush past me as I walked gloomily. She must be in some hurry, like… she wants to defeat Nightmare Moon. I couldn't help even if I tried or wanted to… no reason. She obviously knows something about all this, I mean she was the only one who recognised Nightmare Moon. Imprisoned for a thousand years… I can't believe that. She must have done something really nasty to be imprisoned for that long. Maybe… I want to help Princess Celestia. Do I really? I must be lying to myself. I can't even bring myself to talk with the Princess… I don't… why should I help?

"Hey!" A voice shouted from above me, startling me so much that I fell backwards. Then the sound of the voice appeared in front of me. I hate myself, I really do. "You better not be following us!" She threatened me… again with her raspy voice, one added to the list of known bullies. She isn't as bad as… one. But still she is a bully. They are all bad.

"I'm…" I hesitate even telling her. "…not." I answer quietly with shame in my voice as I hang my head. I can't bring myself to tell anypony if they don't care. I can't see how this filly would be any different.

She narrowed her coat-piercing eyes at me, where I realistically assume she doesn't believe me. "You better not." She then says before flying away, in the direction of the lavender unicorn. Thankfully, not that it would have mattered, but she didn't attempt to bully me this time. Guess she had better things to do. I… Well, I've got nothing to lose, now do I?

I quickly hid around a corner where I saw the country mare, the white unicorn, the pink mare, and… the yellow pegasi running past me, in the direction of the lavender unicorn as well. Don't know why they would care. I waited they passed, silently and carefully following them. I feel guilty for not helping the Princess at all and not caring if she is defeated… Not that there is reason for me to do so… Well, any realistic reason.

---

The location ended up being some tree home/library place that I hadn't walked near before. I could hear voices from here when I saw the ponies walk into the place. "And just what are the Elements of Harmony?!" I heard a muffled exclaimed voice, where I saw Rainbow Dash shout at the lavender unicorn that seemed to know a lot about Nightmare Moon. "And how did you know about Nightmare Moon, huh?" Rainbow Dash inquired about suspiciously, and stupidly. "Are you a spy?" She questioned harshly before the country mare pulled her away by her tail. "Whoa!"

I quickly hid in a bush, as I occasionally peeked over the window luckily placed just above the bushes, and listened in to their conversation. Even though I knew it wasn't exactly the ethic thing to do. But at least I can hear what's going on with a hiding place. I tried to hear through as much as possible. If I was going to prove any help towards this disaster, which I won't for many reasons that I always seem to think, I had… well no idea. I just wanted to see where this is going and I could maybe help the Princess in some way.

"Simmer down, Sally." The country mare intervened. "She ain't no spy. But she sure knows what's going on." She and the others walked towards this unicorn with slight suspicion, or the yellow pegasi cowering behind the others. "Don't you, Twilight?"

Twilight… I guess the name can fit… I analysed the lavender unicorn closer. I'd never been able to look at anypony this long, but since they were unaware of my presence… I can actually be able to see them. I don't know why… Twilight… the name sounded familiar. I don't think I've ever seen this pony before, not in the town or the last, but why? Why does that name sound so familiar? After having that name float around in my mind, the colour of her coat and mane soon familiarized with my brain… Twilight. I swear… I feel like I have seen her before… I can't put my hoof on where.

After the moment of silence, Twilight lowered her head and began explaining. "I read all about the prediction of Nightmare Moon. Some mysterious objects called the Elements of Harmony are the only things that can stop her, but I don't know what they are, where to find them, I don't even know what they do!" Elements of Harmony? Wait, I've heard about them before in the past somewhere…

"'The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide.'" The pink mare mentioned from a shelf behind them, holding a book which I guess is the book she just stated, rather weirdly. She is weird, confusing, insane… what else is there to add. Annoying…

Twilight rushed towards the shelf, indirectly pushing Pinkie out of the way. "How did you find that?!" She asked with… shock.

"It was under 'E'!" It was under E… Yeah, I don't know. She just bounced cheerfully passed her, answering in a sing-song voice which annoyed me.

"Oh…" Twilight merely reacted, probably confused as I was. Nevertheless, Twilight brought out the book with her magic and opened it to read it. "There are six Elements of Harmony, but only five are known: Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Honesty and Loyalty. The sixth is a complete mystery…" As she continued speaking, I couldn't help but feel a sudden chill run down my spine. I quickly looked back, but saw nothing out of the ordinary. Nopony was there. W-What? I… What was that about? Something… Are we being spied on? I hesitantly and cautiously looked back inside. I'm… I don't know anymore. "It is said, the last known location of the five elements was in the ancient castle of the royal pony sisters. It is located in what is now…" Twilight paused for a moment and brought the book down. "…the Evertree Forest…"

Aw… dammit. They're going to the same place as me. Well, I don't want to stick around before they see me there. I don't see any reason for me to be a part of this. They aren't, definitely not my friend, and there's a problem with me… Nopony is my friend. And the truth is nopony ever will be. That's one of the problems that I have. I'm lonely. Alone. I hate you loneliness. Even if my heart is burning inside, ever since I could remember. I still hate you with every… fibre of… my worthless… pony being.

---

I sit on the edge of a cliff, in the middle of darkness of this 'Evertree Forest', after wandering around for who knows how long. As dangerous as other ponies claim this place to be, it was only spooky. Not really dangerous-looking. No dangerous creatures were spotted. I saw a hut as I walked by, and I didn't want to disturb anypony that was there.

I contemplate my existence, for the last few… moments of my life. Nothing else to do. I grew up in an orphanage, in some place north-east of here. I'd rather not recall the name. I never knew my family. For what I can remember, my first moments of my life… was being in a basket, being looked down upon the main orphanage caretaker. Her name was Ms. Leadbutter, as strange as it was. She… She wasn't a nice pony. She treated everypony harshly, not being lenient to anything that any orphan does, not letting us play sports and games outside… she didn't even feed us very well. It explains how I never got into sports, but I managed to get by with my life. The foals, colts and fillies in the orphanage, didn't really bother me much, or at all actually. They didn't bully me, nor did they take a second glance at me.

It was mainly… the foals at school that bothered me. A lot. All the time whenever I went into that school. They… punched me. Spit at me. Kicked me on the ground. Made me bleed. Cause p-pain among me. On a helpless foal who was smaller than all of them, one small earth pony with a grey coat and a green mane. He couldn't do a-anything. Why were they beating on a senseless pony? It was inponymane. They were getting some sort of pleasure out of it. They like it. And the teachers and seniors didn't care one bit. Tartarus, they actually hated him. And he never… I never knew w-why. A-and p-probably n-ne-never wi-will.

I'm starting to crack up. Okay, take deep breaths. Take deep breaths. Nopony is going to hear you cry. There's no point. No matter how much you want to. Deep breaths.

Deep breaths.

Nopony is going to hear you cry.

Deep breaths.

…okay. Several things that I want to think about. Things that bother me the most.

My name. Rarely anypony knows my name. Only a select few know what it really is. I've gone by fake names that I make up on the spot. Multi is one of them. But that isn't the reason over why I get bullied, although it easily could be. The only ponies who know my name is Ms. Leadbutter (because she read the note that came with me and the basket), Princess Celestia… and that's about it. Thankfully, nopony knows what it is. I'm ashamed of my name. It's because it's a name that stands out. One that isn't common among ponies. Usually names reflect their cutie mark. Multi would make sense, but that wasn't my real name.

Other thing that bother me… Me… Me being alone. Having no friends. Only loneliness ever keeping me company. What have I ever done to be alone? To be hated by others. I don't… think I deserve any of this. Yet, this is all I'm given. Hatred by others, some by misunderstandings (most of which have happened in this town), most by bullies who seek pleasure in fights. Brutally beating me down… And it was only me in school who was bullied… that I can remember. I've never known why. Why did they hate me? Why does… Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy… hate me? Why does everypony hate me? Whenever I go… there is always, always one pony that's there to hate me. All for no reason, most of the time. Others… I've never been able to comprehend the reason they give me. I'm small, I'm weak, I'm green, I'm light grey, I'm an earth pony…

And I know that I shouldn't hate myself for it… It's not my fault… others say it's my fault… How is it my fault? What have I ever done wrong…? I just hate myself for it. For all of it. I hate the lack of courage that I have with meeting other ponies. I hate the lack of any self-esteem on myself. I hate my paranoia on ponies always being nasty and mean. Even if everypony I meet are… I just can't be friends with anypony.

No matter how much I try to be friendly with anypony that I meet… no matter how much I succeed in school and get 'good' graded… no matter how much I put my best efforts into the things that I do in trying to make a friend… I am always alone. Lonely. No friends. I've never had one, not even close it. No family. Any family that I heard about died long ago, I'm an orphan. No love. Anypony I meet hates my guts, and I'll never know why. Nothing. That what I've always been. Lonely. Loneliness has been my companion through everything that I go through. He ends chapters on my life and starts new ones. For instance, me moving to the 'supposed' friendliest place in Equestria. I lost all hope for ponykind.

The only hope I have left is that I don't go insane... Could I go insane from being alone? I'm not insane… I won't get chucked into an Asylum… Will I? It's the only hope that I may just have right now…

Please...

Somepony…

A-Anypony…

Let me experience friendship... "L-Let me-me ha-hav-have an f-friend. Is that too much to ask for? Is it? Is it!? Is that too much to ask!? Why can't I ever have a friend!? I want to know why…!"

---

Nightmare Moon

---

I will take over Equestria in time. I need to wait for now. The unicorn mare from before, she knows my plot. My plan. I need to stop her getting the Elements of Harmony, is she is as smart as I saw her. I hope that I intimidated everypony there. Getting fear into their systems… They'll be too stupid to even mount some kind of offense onto me… to stop my plans. . If she is smart, she would come back to my castle in the forest of my realm. She won't beat me, the Princess who has been imprisoned for a thousand years on the Moon. By the goody-two hooves, Celestia. She was caught off-guard when I captured and imprisoned her. I hope she feels happy being on the moon while I become the Queen of Equestria!

I will be the long-awaited Queen of Equestria.

Funny how only one puny pony has managed to remember me. Only one. Well, I guess it won't matter until they enter the forest. Her… and anypony else who enters, shall tremble before my might.

I will be the long-awaited Queen of Equestria.

And the past shall be put to rest, and ignored. Like Celestia has done, erasing the past wars that were caused. The past. I'm not Luna as she tried to say. I'm not her. She was a weak figment of my being. Maybe Sombra was right when I 'fought' him all those years ago… The dark side is strong.

But it matters no more. Princess Luna is no more… I am Nightmare Moon! I will become the Queen of Equestria, and rule over the land of the ponies. They shall all obey me. Fear me. And they would be smart to not question my authority. I'm still better than Discord. Speaking of him… His statue is quite the funny predicament, the way he is trapped like that. Nevermind… Ponies will fear me.

I will be the long-awaited Queen of Equestria.

The throne and this entire castle needs cleaning up. I can't believe she just deserted the place. Well, decades of planning will come into play. Now… I don't know what the Elements of Harmony exactly look like. There are these rocks with the symbols engraved into them. Yet they aren't here. I can't feel their presence anywhere in this castle. I need to clean it up later after I make sure…

Wait. A pony has entered the Evertree Forest. And I didn't notice till now? I wonder how this pony got past me. How did she… she must be skilled in some magic if I couldn't notice.

Actually… it's a stallion that I did not notice. An earth pony, a green mane full with light and dark, and a light grey/silver coat. His cutie mark was a full-white multiplication sign. He wasn't seem with the unicorn that pointed out my name… Who could he be? And why did he dare to tread into my realm all by himself? He walked to the end of a cliff, sitting on the edge. He could be contemplating me being the Queen of Equestria… Let's go have a look.

I teleported some distance behind him, with my pink and blue mist that enveloped around my presence slowly drifted away. He… seemed upset over something. He nearly cried while trying to hold it all down, whimpering almost. How puny of him. Though, I wonder what caused him to be so upset.

"L-Let me-me ha-hav-have an f-friend." He then cracked up after long moments of silence "Is that too much to ask for?" He cried to nopony. "Is it? Is it!?" He started getting madder, looking up at the night sky, my lovely night sky. "Is that too much to ask!? Why can't I ever have a friend!? I want to know why…!" He yelled in an outburst, before sobbing to himself. He must be lonely. Hmm… Why don't I take a look into his thoughts…

…

…his past, the pain that he received, the loneliness that accompanies him, the fire burning his frail, near-dead heart. That… was interesting to say the least. I… I don't feel- No, what are you saying, Nightmare Moon! I don't feel bad for this pony! He is nothing compared to you. To anypony! How… he's just an earth pony… with a terrible past. For a foal… I… don't think I feel bed for him. He's just another pony that isn't special in anyway. He's only a civilian. But still, nopony should have to go through with all that. Maybe… hmm. Maybe, not all ponies want be gone from this land. In due time that would want me as their leader.

I will be the long-awaited Queen of Equestria, of course.

Maybe this colt is an exception. Maybe. I don't think he would… maybe if I act friendly towards him… He doesn't have good intentions to himself. Not to me, he doesn't care if I do rule these lands. Okay, I should at least try. I… feel bad for him.

"Hey…" I start out, still in a regal voice that was kind of threatening still. He flinched before looking back at me… tears coming out of those green eyes, sniffing in resignation. He glanced over me before looking backwards, and sobbing even more.

"Have you come to kill m-me…?" He cracked up again, being unable to control himself. Not even I would make ponies like this, to torture my own kind. Imprison for my benefit and power, sure. But… not torturing civilians. I'm not like Sombra. Even I have to take a stand at one point. I wonder if Discord ever enslaved ponies…

Okay, let's try again. "No." I answered more softly this time, hopefully not startling him. I don't know if I convinced him or not, because he didn't respond at all for a minute of him sniffing uncontrollably. "Are… are you alright?" I tried again. I want to get on his friendly side. I should calm him down… but I don't know how. I'm… not the friendly type, to put it at the very least. I didn't think making ponies' fear me would… actually make me guilty. Although, he is crying because of his past. I… why do I want to help him?

I couldn't answer that question, before he broke the silence of my thoughts. "I…" He trailed off, before crying louder." I-I… I want to d-die…" W-What? "I want to die."

Comments

[Emoshy]

THEESE FEELS!

[Emoshy]

Still gives me feels

[Chaotic Quill]

media.tenor.co/images/304146cfbd1c39a7ecab29a8ea65d111/raw
DEAAF BY FEELS!