Have you ever had the felling that you just weren't right? Like you were different from everypony else? That's how I feel now. Almost like there's something I don't know about.
but deep down, I think I do know, and I know that my friends and family will help me... Or reject me.
This is my tale, and hello! My names Sweetie Belle!
Note: this is my first story I ever posted, so let me know if there's anything that needs any changing, or any criticism would be alright. Just let me know what you all think, that would be greatly appreciated.
Cover art by Windy The Warrior (thank you!
)
Editor: Windy The Warrior (thank you once more!)
On that note allonsy!
Chapters (2)
Hmm... The grammar usage is sorely lacking, which is why your story is collecting it's down votes right now. There are a host off errors that need capitalization, notably all names need to have the first word capitalized. Just as numerous as that is your punctuation. For example when you end a line of dialogue, it needs a comma, not a period.
"That's how it's normally done," said Sweetie Belle.
There are also spelling errors too. Notably, "cunfused" is suppose to be spelled "confused".
There is a fair amount of "lavender unicorn syndrome" going on, which is when you describe your characters on there appearance like "the yellow filly turned to the orange coated and purple maned pegasus and said". Sometimes, it can be okay to engage with that, many of the great stories on Fimfiction use it. But you use it very richly and that's when it becomes a problem. There is also a lack of... well plot. There's nothing that concerns me or makes me want to read more. The reader needs to be inspired to keep reading, normally this is done by providing a hook in the first paragraph to the end of the first chapter. It's what makes the reader want to keep reading and understand more on the story. It's a glimpse into what moves the characters in the story and what moves the story forward.
I'm not even going to touch the authors box at the end, but way too many emojis.
Read the writing guide under the FAQ tab, and find a editor to help you clean your story up. I would suggest looking for someone you know, or using the "Editors R Us" group. I would link it, but I'm using a tablet and it's hard enough to type, so sorry. I am also a editor and can help if needed, but this needs a lot of scrubbing.
Keep writing though, even if your first story flops, you should never be discouraged by failure, it's when we learn the most. So if this doesn't go well, take what lessons you can, learn from them, and try again.
5953499 Thank you for reviewing my story. I had a feeling I might of had some problems with some of the things you mentioned. Just wasn't sure what. I'm actually using a tablet, making this story since I don't have a good computer to use at the moment so I see why their might be some spelling errors. I tried to catch what I could spot along with capitalization but I guess I'll have to make some edits. I'll see what I could do, and thanks very much for telling me what I need to. I also see why you mentioned the authors box, I wasn't sure what to put so I put what came to mind (I'll fix that as well).
still thanks, you are a great help. 
again, thank you for the review!. Thank you! 
Well that's... a bunch of nothing.
Chapters are too short, don't cover enough. Just stop using contractions. Those are 90% of your grammar problems.
Write more besides dialog. We can't see what you imagine if you don't write it.