Jeez. Well. Spike's in some... deep piss now. Heh. Get it? Yeah, I know it was terrible. Anyways, I'm really curious to see how you plan to handle Twilight's reaction to this. The clop aspect is good but I'm pretty interested in the actual plot. No, I mean the storyline, not the... *sigh*
the piss itself is getting extremely redundant at this point it's llike you're putting it there for no reason whatsoever it's like berries on a piece of cake good at times, pointless if repeated over and over
82119 uhm what Shadow Sweetheart is referring to is an item in TF2 called Jarate, which is essentially a jar a piss. He's saying it's creepy that he got this while reading this story I agree
Realy enouf with the Watersport its just geting pointless like reading the same Clopfic with diferent characters.... at this point im just skiping the clop so i can get to the actual story that keept me reading.
The terrible black thing that is my soul is BURNING!!! pls make more, thought I don't see how anyone could think the smell of urine arousing (I sure as hell don't no offence) btw linking me to the wiki on watersports dosent explain
84857 Well, I guess you can't really explain a fetish to someone who doesn't have it - only inform them of the fact that it exists, and that many people have it. Similar to how I doubt a gay person would be able to explain why they prefer their own sex to a heterosexual person and make them understand it.
I don't even know why myself. It's just always been that way.
85905 That could be a potential "alternate dimension" "what if..." type of fic/chapter. But hey, who knows, maybe at some point there will be a threesome/orgy chapter.
Okay I may be a guess and not have any registration here, but I've got to review this fic. I've got to admit, when I first saw this fic, it looked very interesting and pretty cool. The thought of Spike having these sexual adventures was a promising concept and had a lot of potential. Going into it after reading the description, I figured okay, a little bit of watersports and other kinky stuff here and there, nothing wrong with that, but man does this all go really south. In each chapter it revolves around Spike having sex with a pony, but one thing new readers will notice is Spike is pushed around way too much in this story. Seriously it's like he has absolutely no damn backbone at all in this story. Now Spike isn't a dominating character, but this is just really terrible, especially with how even Fluttershy whether she's being a dominatrix or not pushes him around. Hell in one chapter he was made into taking a dildo in his ass. So bottom line, Spike is made into a full out wimp with no backbone or anything to make him look like a man. (NOTE TO AUTHOR OF FIC: If you seem to hate Spike so much, why did you make him the title character then if all you seem to do is make him a wimp?) The rest of the characters can range from good, to really OOC (Out of Character). First thing I've noticed is that Rainbow Dash is thankfully out of this series, so I'm glad she isn't caught in this cluster f**k of a fic. I've mentioned already Spike is made into a wimp with no manliness in him in the least bit, but the other characters like Fluttershy are an issue. Now I'm willing to buy Fluttershy has a secret life, but this wasn't done right at all. She doesn't seem to act as shy, nor cute, nor anything we've come to know and love. Instead she comes off a bit demanding and a little cruel. Don't even get me started on Applejack. Every other pony seems okay, but the only one who seems to be like themselves is Pinkie Pie. Another issue is the sex scene material, or lack of material. Now every chapter has some sort of kinky material, but the issue is that pretty much 95% of the sex scenes are very bare boned and have little to no detail in them. Details are important in this kind of stuff, but almost every chapter, and I mean every chapter, the sex scenes feel rushed and weren't even checked. The ones that are detailed are pretty good as a whole, but there's one issue: TOO MUCH PEEING. Now I know this had watersports in it and have no issues with it really, but there are many issues with it as a whole. Most of the watersports like the Rarity sex scene feel tacked on like the author went, "Uh...I need peeing scene.....Oh I know I'll just think of one thing really quick, I'm so clever." To say it's a cheap way out is an understatement to say the least. Also almost every pony seems to be obsessed with pee for some reason like as if it's their God or something. It wouldn't hurt to actually cut off some of the watersports and do more kinky stuff instead of more pee. A little more variety would be good instead of the same old boring stuff like peeing, and it does get tiring. The grammar and spelling are nice and seem to be one of the very few things this fic got right as a whole, but too bad I can't say it's better for the rest of the story. Let's grade this steaming pile of crap shall we?
STORY IDEA 9/10: The idea is very interesting and has a lot of potential to it, but my gripe is that it's almost similar to Spike's Sexual Revolution, another clopfic which is way better than this.
CHARACTERS 3/10: Spike is made too wimpy and pushy. Why is he made this way at all? What's next he's going to drink a gallon of toxic waste or be asked to put a bullet in his brain? Fluttershy is not like herself, and neither is Applejack. The other characters are decent thought.
SEX SCENES 2/10: Most of the sex scenes are bare and have little detail to them. They also rely on watersports all the time instead, and many of the watersports feel tacked on. The author needs to decrease on the watersports and put more effort into the sex scenes.
GRAMMAR 9/10: The grammar and spelling is done nicely and it really flows nicely throughout the story. There are a few hits and misses here, but it's nice all around.
PRESENTAION 0/10: The idea sounds great and it can suck you into it, but the author seemed to just lure readers into a disappointing fic. It leaves many like me feeling empty and angry to see such potential be wasted like this. You feel ripped off and like you got robbed of wasting your time on this junk.
RECOMMENDATIONS TO AUTHOR:
1: Cancel the fic and don't bring it back, no matter what.
IF YOU CONTINUE THIS 1: Put more effort into sex scenes, and cut down on the watersporting as well. It gets tiring to see the same stuff again and again. 2: MAKE SPIKE MANLIER! Seriously if you continue this, make Spike more dominant. He's pushed around too much and made into a wimp. 3: Tone down Fluttershy being a cruel mare, and make her less demanding.
READ IT OR NOT?
No. Don't waste the time on this like I did.
FINAL SCORE: 23/50 = 46 - F
FINAL THOUGHTS:
Don't waste your time on this, and stay the Hell away from this garbage. Let it simply fade away and never look back upon it at all.
... ... Well um... First of all, this is not your fanfic, I don't think you can tell someone how to be themselves. If the writer wishes to have Watersports or dildos or whatever, I think the writer can damn well do it.
Second, how long have you been a famous critic enough to tell someone that what they write is not worth continuing? This is by far my favorite clopfic, even if I don't care for Watersports and such. I think continuing the story is a great idea, I don't know who taught you that it was alright to act this way, but they have earned the majestic seal.
Finally, let's score YOU. Generosity: 2/10 Kindness: 1/10 Honesty: 10/10 Loyalty: 1/10 Laughter: 0/10 sorry Twilight, but we can't grade this guy for DE MAGICKS FINAL SCORE: A sad 14/50 36 - F
FINAL THOUGHTS: If you think this clopfic is so damn terrible, I challenge you to show us how it's really done. Believe me, I'd LOVE to rate your AMAZING clopfic designed to outshine this one. Trixie: SHOW US ALL! Flutterbi*ch: Oh that's right. You can't. You don't have one.
RECOMMANDATIONS TO AUTHOR: Continue this great Clopfic TwilightPsycho Rest assured, when you continue the story, me and many others will be there as well.
-PwnyBrony
P.S. now that that's taken care of, let me put in what I was originally going to type. ahem Awesome chapter! I must have MOAR! PLEASE?
I... i..i.. find this strangly arousing.... in fact... i came keep up the good work and don't listen to the haters! those capitalist dogs just want to control you! but lucky for you myself and my commie comrades are backing ya up on this one!..
and also i am wanting to have some fun with fluttershy... what can i say...i like dominate women
82026
I'm very flattered that you think so.
Reading this story while Idling on TF2. You have found Jarate... Too Creepy.
Is good story.
STD broski. Other than that OH SHIT....other than that............i dunno I got nothing..good job i guess?
Did Spike drink...her...pee...
This is too much for my little kid mind!
*puts gun to face*
Blam!
82049
I'm not exactly sure.
Depending on how much time I have to write during christmas, either late next week or the week after that.
82067
Thanks.
Not sure what you're referring to when you say "Too Creepy" though. (I don't recall anything creepy in this chapter)
This is one of the few shipfics with real conflict and plot. Me Gusta.
he popular cause he is a good fuck
oh Kay I get the sex but does all of it have to be with piss? Seriously bro....enough with the piss, we get it
Jeez. Well. Spike's in some... deep piss now. Heh. Get it? Yeah, I know it was terrible. Anyways, I'm really curious to see how you plan to handle Twilight's reaction to this. The clop aspect is good but I'm pretty interested in the actual plot. No, I mean the storyline, not the... *sigh*
Whens rainbow dash time?
Spike! What are you doing, bro? You've gotta talk to Twilight now, not put it off 'til tomorrow! Spike, I am disappoint.
i love this story!!! you are awesome!
Spike:
Fluttershy:
Twilight:
Spike:
Fluttershy:
Twilight:
At is all
Gah!!' that is all
the piss itself is getting extremely redundant at this point
it's llike you're putting it there for no reason whatsoever
it's like berries on a piece of cake
good at times, pointless if repeated over and over
82119
uhm what Shadow Sweetheart is referring to is an item in TF2 called Jarate, which is essentially a jar a piss.
He's saying it's creepy that he got this while reading this story I agree
I enjoy watersports, so me gusta
first i was like
then i was like
then i was like
There's a terrible lack of good watersports clopfics, so I'm really enjoying this. Now I want to take tea with Fluttershy. Good work!
Realy enouf with the Watersport its just geting pointless like reading the same Clopfic with diferent characters.... at this point im just skiping the clop so i can get to the actual story that keept me reading.
Omg the part with the 'she knows's and the 'he knows's confusedrofl. Fluttershy continues to amaze with her kinky side. Nasty girl you!
But obligatory DUN DUN DUUUUUUN. Oh Twilight... Spike y u let hormones win? Whyyyyssss?!
Next chapter please or I will omnom yo fayce. >:c
The horny dragon gave an Angry Dragon That shit was aweomse, good f**king show as usual
Hrmm, Spike's putting talking to Twilight off again... Pinkie Pie is going to be next.
at first I was like:
then I was like:
Then I was like: You're in deep shit now dude
The terrible black thing that is my soul is BURNING!!! pls make more, thought I don't see how anyone could think the smell of urine arousing (I sure as hell don't no offence) btw linking me to the wiki on watersports dosent explain
84857
Well, I guess you can't really explain a fetish to someone who doesn't have it - only inform them of the fact that it exists, and that many people have it.
Similar to how I doubt a gay person would be able to explain why they prefer their own sex to a heterosexual person and make them understand it.
I don't even know why myself. It's just always been that way.
: I got nothing, care to make this a threesome?
: Confound this dragon, now I need to drink more to forget about this too.
85905
That could be a potential "alternate dimension" "what if..." type of fic/chapter.
But hey, who knows, maybe at some point there will be a threesome/orgy chapter.
Why boner
86192
Are you asking why you have a boner?
I don't know. I guess you found it arousing?
Ok, calm down with the piss. This is not a request, this is a demand. It's really gross.
88565
Lol, NO.
Seriously though, if you don't like watersports, why are you reading a watersports fic?
The exact amount/extremity of it will vary between chapters, but the watersports isn't going anywhere.
I want to know what comes next!
Okay I may be a guess and not have any registration here, but I've got to review this fic. I've got to admit, when I first saw this fic, it looked very interesting and pretty cool. The thought of Spike having these sexual adventures was a promising concept and had a lot of potential. Going into it after reading the description, I figured okay, a little bit of watersports and other kinky stuff here and there, nothing wrong with that, but man does this all go really south. In each chapter it revolves around Spike having sex with a pony, but one thing new readers will notice is Spike is pushed around way too much in this story. Seriously it's like he has absolutely no damn backbone at all in this story. Now Spike isn't a dominating character, but this is just really terrible, especially with how even Fluttershy whether she's being a dominatrix or not pushes him around. Hell in one chapter he was made into taking a dildo in his ass. So bottom line, Spike is made into a full out wimp with no backbone or anything to make him look like a man. (NOTE TO AUTHOR OF FIC: If you seem to hate Spike so much, why did you make him the title character then if all you seem to do is make him a wimp?) The rest of the characters can range from good, to really OOC (Out of Character). First thing I've noticed is that Rainbow Dash is thankfully out of this series, so I'm glad she isn't caught in this cluster f**k of a fic. I've mentioned already Spike is made into a wimp with no manliness in him in the least bit, but the other characters like Fluttershy are an issue. Now I'm willing to buy Fluttershy has a secret life, but this wasn't done right at all. She doesn't seem to act as shy, nor cute, nor anything we've come to know and love. Instead she comes off a bit demanding and a little cruel. Don't even get me started on Applejack. Every other pony seems okay, but the only one who seems to be like themselves is Pinkie Pie. Another issue is the sex scene material, or lack of material. Now every chapter has some sort of kinky material, but the issue is that pretty much 95% of the sex scenes are very bare boned and have little to no detail in them. Details are important in this kind of stuff, but almost every chapter, and I mean every chapter, the sex scenes feel rushed and weren't even checked. The ones that are detailed are pretty good as a whole, but there's one issue: TOO MUCH PEEING. Now I know this had watersports in it and have no issues with it really, but there are many issues with it as a whole. Most of the watersports like the Rarity sex scene feel tacked on like the author went, "Uh...I need peeing scene.....Oh I know I'll just think of one thing really quick, I'm so clever." To say it's a cheap way out is an understatement to say the least. Also almost every pony seems to be obsessed with pee for some reason like as if it's their God or something. It wouldn't hurt to actually cut off some of the watersports and do more kinky stuff instead of more pee. A little more variety would be good instead of the same old boring stuff like peeing, and it does get tiring. The grammar and spelling are nice and seem to be one of the very few things this fic got right as a whole, but too bad I can't say it's better for the rest of the story. Let's grade this steaming pile of crap shall we?
STORY IDEA 9/10: The idea is very interesting and has a lot of potential to it, but my gripe is that it's almost similar to Spike's Sexual Revolution, another clopfic which is way better than this.
CHARACTERS 3/10: Spike is made too wimpy and pushy. Why is he made this way at all? What's next he's going to drink a gallon of toxic waste or be asked to put a bullet in his brain? Fluttershy is not like herself, and neither is Applejack. The other characters are decent thought.
SEX SCENES 2/10: Most of the sex scenes are bare and have little detail to them. They also rely on watersports all the time instead, and many of the watersports feel tacked on. The author needs to decrease on the watersports and put more effort into the sex scenes.
GRAMMAR 9/10: The grammar and spelling is done nicely and it really flows nicely throughout the story. There are a few hits and misses here, but it's nice all around.
PRESENTAION 0/10: The idea sounds great and it can suck you into it, but the author seemed to just lure readers into a disappointing fic. It leaves many like me feeling empty and angry to see such potential be wasted like this. You feel ripped off and like you got robbed of wasting your time on this junk.
RECOMMENDATIONS TO AUTHOR:
1: Cancel the fic and don't bring it back, no matter what.
IF YOU CONTINUE THIS
1: Put more effort into sex scenes, and cut down on the watersporting as well. It gets tiring to see the same stuff again and again.
2: MAKE SPIKE MANLIER! Seriously if you continue this, make Spike more dominant. He's pushed around too much and made into a wimp.
3: Tone down Fluttershy being a cruel mare, and make her less demanding.
READ IT OR NOT?
No. Don't waste the time on this like I did.
FINAL SCORE: 23/50 = 46 - F
FINAL THOUGHTS:
Don't waste your time on this, and stay the Hell away from this garbage. Let it simply fade away and never look back upon it at all.
90312
...
...
Well um...
First of all, this is not your fanfic, I don't think you can tell someone how to be themselves. If the writer wishes to have Watersports or dildos or whatever, I think the writer can damn well do it.
Second, how long have you been a famous critic enough to tell someone that what they write is not worth continuing? This is by far my favorite clopfic, even if I don't care for Watersports and such. I think continuing the story is a great idea, I don't know who taught you that it was alright to act this way, but they have earned the majestic seal.
Finally, let's score YOU.
Generosity: 2/10
Kindness: 1/10
Honesty: 10/10
Loyalty: 1/10
Laughter: 0/10
sorry Twilight, but we can't grade this guy for DE MAGICKS
FINAL SCORE: A sad 14/50 36 - F
FINAL THOUGHTS: If you think this clopfic is so damn terrible, I challenge you to show us how it's really done. Believe me, I'd LOVE to rate your AMAZING clopfic designed to outshine this one.
Trixie: SHOW US ALL!
Flutterbi*ch: Oh that's right. You can't. You don't have one.
RECOMMANDATIONS TO AUTHOR:
Continue this great Clopfic TwilightPsycho
Rest assured, when you continue the story, me and many others will be there as well.
-PwnyBrony
P.S. now that that's taken care of, let me put in what I was originally going to type.
ahem
Awesome chapter! I must have MOAR!
PLEASE?
He drunk her...pee..Oh god
This is too much!! *jumps off a cliff*
Keep going!
akwaaard
Ya dun goofed
I pictured the guy from spongebob holding the lollipop at the end going "uhh... I can explain!"
I... i..i.. find this strangly arousing.... in fact... i came keep up the good work and don't listen to the haters! those capitalist dogs just want to control you! but lucky for you myself and my commie comrades are backing ya up on this one!..
and also i am wanting to have some fun with fluttershy... what can i say...i like dominate women
dude wtf when I read "would you like to drink my special tea?" I thought that she meat hear vaginal fluides(NOT HER PISSE LOL)
Ok peeing to your sex partner´s sex organs is one thing, I don´t mind that( although I really don´t understand how they can wist stand the smell!!).
but peeing in the MOUTH that is just SICK!
I´m not asking to spot the water-sports, just for the love F###ING GOD control your self
but I´m loving the rest keep going!
9058110/10 on honesty. So you agree with him completely? Good. So do I.
Needs a back away and run gif also LET ME GO TO SLEEP GDI!!!!
:lol, I'm a baby who hit puberty. YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID.
:confound this dragon..
I always sort of imagined Spike was a bit of a Pimp
He was also fairly sure she knew that he knew that she knew, and that she perhaps even knew that he knew that she knew that he knew
MAI FUCKING BRAIN HURTTZZZZZ
YOU COCKSUCKING MUDAFUCKING NIGGAHHHHH
WAI YOO DUU DIS TUU MEEE!?!??!
lol jk
:coolstorybro:
82422
82424
82426
Hey, you see that little button on all of your posts that says "Edit"? Use it.
why do all these stories have to do with pee? peeing is not a very common thing to do during sex lol
Do some scat play