When Twilight Sparkle stresses over her upcoming education at UCU, she unintentionally causes a future where Equestria falls to an evil ruler. She, with old friends and some new ones, must do all she can to prevent this future, or else sacrifice her life.
Hello everypony and thanks so much for taking the time to read my fanfic! This is actually my first fanfic ever, let alone first for MLP, so I’m definitely a bit new at this. Hopefully, that isn’t too obvious in my writing.
This fanfic is a combination of the world and characters of MLP as well as the plot of one of the Danny Phantom mini-movies, “The Ultimate Enemy” (really, really good episode! Check it out on Netflix or it is probably available online somewhere). I really want to gush about why I decided to do this, but I’m afraid reveal any spoilers.
For those of you who are quite familiar with the characters and world of MLP, I would greatly appreciate it if you could give me feedback on how believable the story is. I started outlining for this story before the season 2 finale aired and even before the episode “It’s About Time” aired, just fyi if things don’t line up perfectly or whatever.
Otherwise, all types of feedback are welcome, though I would greatly appreciate it if you could also tell me what you like in particular, so I know to keep doing it in the upcoming chapters! I know this is just a prologue, so everything’s kind of vague right now, but I promise I’ll try to have Chapter 1 up in a week or two!
Thanks again and I hope you enjoy it and are as excited as I am to see where the story goes…
Disclaimers:
My Little Pony Friendship is Magic belongs to Lauren Faust and Danny Phantom and the plot of The Ultimate Enemy belong to Butch Hartmen.
Meurogane
Joined 9th May, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Snake Staff · 37k words · 631 30 · 7.2k views
- DirtyBlue929 · 14k words · 98 3 · 2.4k views
- Silent_Witness · 83k words · 168 9 · 4.7k views
- Kit-San · 68k words · 87 6 · 4.1k views
- spawnzillafinalwars · 52k words · 118 13 · 4.7k views
- AdrianVesper · 109k words · 344 4 · 3.6k views
- hydra30 · 110k words · 1,243 69 · 19k views
- ed2481 · 117k words · 1,859 101 · 28k views
Chapters (2)
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.067 seconds
Total duration
995 users online
1,898,645 hits today, 2,707,512 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Dude, this is awesome.
i simply love the interpretation of a dystopian Equestria. I can tell you put a lot of work into this universe and your writing really draws me into it. The dialogue is excellent, the description is excellent (though it could be improved for your OCs; I don't know if you intended it, but I had a hard time picturing them) and the premise is awesome. Your use of suspense is also superb, I get the impression you've read good books before because the pacing is excellent and I really cared about the fate of the characters, even though I normally don't like Trixie. I'm serious, your writing isn't as good as my favorite books or anything, but it's very damn good.
Overall a great start for a story that seems like it has a ton of potential. I'm really looking forward to more. Have a thumb and fave!
Intriguing concept. You've got me interested, for sure!
You've got a good start, and you've already done a great job on building up the future world. It was easy to figure out what was going on, your writing is well-developed and flows smoothly, and I really enjoyed what I read so far! 
I look forward to more! *bookmarked*
wow.... Are you really a new writer? Man i'm jealous.
It's a pretty good start. I'm not a huge fan of Danny Phantom, but the concept can hold its ground.
I hope to read more of this story soon.
BraveHeartBrony: Thank you, that means a lot! :D I wouldn't say I'm new to writing, but I really haven't tried fanfiction for any fandom before. So I'm new to this world of fanfiction writing, in a sense. But it is such a wonderful world ^^ And I only just joined fimfiction yesterday because I didn't realize it existed until as of late xD so I'm new here too. But I've always liked writing!
I actually wrote this prologue last weekend, but hadn't posted it here at the time. so I was originally thinking of having the next chapter up in a day or two. But life is a bit busy for me and the next chapter has more detail and info in it that I want to put a great deal of thought into, so it may end up happening later. But I will try to have it up very soon! I at least have a basic idea of where I'm going with it, so that helps.
Thanks again for reading!
Fox Scarlen: Good! That's what I was trying to do with this, so I'm glad I was able to accomplish what I aimed to do ^^ I'll do my best to have the next part up soon
Thanks for reading and giving me feedback :D
Flower Seven: Thanks ^^ Yes, I do have difficulty with description sometimes. I get stuck in this place where I'm not sure if I should be describing more or less. I've always hated huge paragraphs that were only description and did nothing to help along the plot, so that area's probably one of my weakest. But I've gotten tips on how to improve that, so I'll do my best to improve in the next chapter at least :3 I can sort of get away with it here, as you said, since it's a prologue and the reader is supposed to have only some picture of what's going on. But Aurora and Tempus are super important, so I need to make sure I establish them well.
I have, although really a lot of the intensity actually comes from shows I watch. This fic was supposed to be a crossover of a DP plot and the wonderful world of MLP, but I can already see in my future plans that I have subconsciously stylized it in a similar fashion to other shows I'm watching. I won't tell you what those shows are yet, because I don't want to spoil anything, but if you don't mind a little dark stuff, you should enjoy the way it turns out thoroughly.
Thanks again for reading and reviewing! Feedback is very motivating and helpful to me
Whoa!! The Story is Awesome, Keep it Up!!
Beautifully written and set up. Characters are all in character, and while the plot drives are very see through to those familiar with The Ultimate Enemy they are very carefully interwoven. I especially like the very appropriate names given to the deities. Keep on going, can't wait to see how it comes full circle and we meet Aurora :)