Dave did what any rational man would do, if they were in the same situation; He let out the biggest, manliest scream ever recorded.
Now, the Royal Canterlot Voice gets some bad press from the show, but I would like to go on the record and put those neigh sayers to rest - if the voice in the show is compared to the horn of a train, then the real life one is more akin an air raid siren on steroids. It is a small miracle that Dave didn’t blow the windows out of his hospital room’s wall.
'Cadance! I'm freaking Cadance! Of all the ponies to put me into. It's bad enough that I'm a girl now, but of all of the ones to get stuck in. I couldn't be a member of the Mane 6, or Luna, or Celestia?! Heck, I’d take being Nightmare Moon over this. BUT THE ALICORN OF LOVE!?'
'Someone out there is laughing their head off at this one.' He, or let's just be accurate, she, was hyperventilating, almost to the point of going Lesson Zero Twilight style. 'Okay, I need to calm down and figure out what happened. What was that thing Cadance taught Twilight to do? Oh yes, breathe in, hold, then exhale.' Dave started by placing a hoof to his/her chest -’Damn, this hoof thing feels weird’ - breathed in, and then then moved it away as he/she exhaled. 'Sweet that actually works!' Dave did it a couple more times, and by then he had calmed down considerably. Almost immediately, there was a knock on the door, through which the muffled voice of Celestia's was heard;
“May we come in now Cadance?”
“Yes, I'm good now.” The door opened, and Celestia's head poked in with a slight smile on her face. She proceeded to open the door fully, granting access to herself, and the nurse/doctor pony from before. Dave decided to break the silence.
“How did I end up here?” Dave inquired.
Celestia grimaced, and looked away slightly, unable to hold his/her gaze.
“There was an accident. Some pegasi construction workers were carrying material across the courtyard, as part of the ongoing repair work to the castle. They got into complications, which caused a mid air collision. Pieces of the metal they use for scaffolding fell while you were below. A brave guard recruit, one Shining Armor, did his best to catch the items and shield you, but a couple of the poles were still able to strike you on the head.”
“Ouch.” Dave cringed; ‘Well that at least explains the cracking headache.’ He/she looked to the other pony in the room, the nurse/doctor.
“Okay, so how bad am I physically?” The unicorn mare used her magic, lifting up a clipboard from its resting place at the foot of the bed. She began to flip through the pages.
“Well you suffered excessive severe blunt force trauma, so badly that and I thought we had already lost you before you arrived here. There is bound to be some remaining concussion damage, and there is partial damage to your motor cortex. To be honest with you here, I’m surprised, not that you woke up so soon, but that you woke up at all. Tell us what you can remember?”
“Well I recognized Princess Celestia Immediately. I’d guess I'm in Canterlot which is in Equestria. But everything else is very muddled in here.” Dave pointed to his/her head. 'Man that gender thing is getting annoying.'
“What about yourself? Do you recognize yourself?” The doctor asked.
“Oh, yeah. I'm Princess Cadance, ‘(Still can't believe that one)’ ,Princess Celestia's adopted niece and the Alicorn of Love.”
“Well that's not as bad as it could be. We should let you get some rest. It's quite late in the night, after all.” Dave nodded to her and smiled at Celestia. As they left, the doctor cast a quick spell on him/her, instantly sending Dave to sleep.
* * * * * *
Dave found himself in what appeared to be a starfield, still in Cadance's body, floating in the ether.
“I can't even get a break in dream world.” he said pitifully.
“I would have thought that you would be grateful for a second chance.” A female voice allured. Before Dave could act, a blinding light appeared. When it faded he saw a tall, regal alicorn, about the same size as Celestia. She had a brilliant white coat, with a flowing Red mane and tail.
“Who are you?” Dave put bluntly.
“I am Queen Faust, Alicorn of Creation. I am the creator of Equus, the mother to Celestia and Luna. I created a set the tools for my daughters, and others to keep the world safe. But events have come to pace that threatens even my daughters, so I have chosen to intervene.”
“Hold on a second- Faust, as in the Fausticorn, as in Lauren Faust?” Queen Faust’s face started to blush red, with a grin forming from ear to ear, almost reminding me of the troll face.
“Ah, yes, my counterpart in your world. While she is not a direct equivalent, one of my powers allows me to project into the dreams of living creatures, like Luna, but mine is strong enough to reach even those in other dimensions. I have been planting seeds, and whispering tales in her dreams about my daughter's and Equestria, so she could make that show you like, in the hopes of spreading love and tolerance.”
“Huh, well - the more you know. Even if that's a bit creepy, now it’s time for the question of the hour. Why am I in Cadance's body?”
“I don’t think that there is an easy way to put this, so I’m going to be blunt - you both died.”
“WHAT?!” ‘You have got to be kidding me.’
“Cadance, the body you are in now, was hit in that accident. The damage it did to her brain was catastrophic. her memories, her consciousness, the Cadance you knew, is gone.
“And me?” ‘-Gulp-’
“Your… car is it? Interesting device, well anyway your car was involved in a crash with a larger vehicle. One of your wheels ...exploded?...It caused you to veer into the path of mini locomotive. Then what was left of your car and that mini locomotive spilled off that road. Then you both exploded. ... Your body was all but destroyed, but I managed to pull your mind through into Equestria.”
““DAMN!” Finally said after a few minutes. “So I was screwed anyway.” Dave pondered that a few minutes more. “Not to sound ungrateful or anything, but why me? Why do this in the first place?
“I only interfere with the world in the most dire circumstances. This world needs Cadance, her role in future events is critical to the preservation of harmony. As you are well aware, Cadance plays a major role in Twilight Sparkle's path to Ascension. That also brings up my second reason; -You have the knowledge from the show, and while limited, still gives you a better head start then a random soul would. And after everything you’ve been through, surely you could use a bit of love in your life? So who better to be the princess of love, the being destined to hand it out, then someone who knows the pain of having no love.
“Now I know where Celestia gets her trolling from.” Faust gave a big grin.
“Well not just her. Luna got my fondness for pranks. And being immortal means I have to find something entertaining, or I will die from sheer boredom.” .
“Alright, I'm stuck filling in for Cadance. If I'm going to pull this off I'll need some help. I have no idea how to use my magic, at all. I’ve only seen it work in the show. Can you do something about that?”
“Well I'm sensing that you’re waking up, so we don't have much time. I'll give you the basics, the advance stuff you have to learn on your own, but my daughter is a great teacher...most of the time.” Queen Faust lowered her horn to Dave's, he felt a great swirl of magic, and as a white light began he heard Queen Faust say;
“Good luck with your new life, Cadance.” And with that she was gone. Dave was back in the hospital bed.
‘I’m still Cadance, but it is my life now, to live as I choose. There’s going to be some changes around here.’
alicorn
remove extra space between considering and my.
add a space after the ellipses
5777935 NOTE UNEDDITED
5777979 Yes, but when you get around to editing at least you know about those ahead of time.
...
Does this mean that Shining Armor will be marrying a guy in his future marefriend's body?
5778644 YUP, but he won't know that.
5778856 This is like the time when I found out that Samus was a girl.
5778982 well this Cadance isn't really hiding that much. Physically she is Cadance and thus a mare. only the personality is different
5779037 A slightly more masculine Cadence?
5779140 more like Rainbow Dash. She'll believe in tough love approach.
5779173 This'll be interesting.
5778856 Honestly, i am not a fan of that idea, i mean nothing against Shining armor right now, but i thought you would brake out of the normal Cadance has to marry Shining armor idea.
Since he is a guy, this could be one fanfiction, where he doesn´t love Shining Armor.
I somehow get the feeling i have read this already, maybe there is a similar fanfiction to this one here, or you has his simply edited.
5779721 Somethings have to remain the same otherwise having Dave be Cadance wouldn't have been needed, she just could have died. Dave being a fan of the show also knows this. But doesn't mean everything will be the same. Top of Dave's list is keeping in touch with Twilight unlike the canon version and of course the wedding.
5779750
well it is just the reason for this story, but i can accept that. I hope he can make Shining armor a good Stalltion, and not some kind of Prince Charming.
Since you said nothing have to be the same, i hope they have at least a different kind of relationship.
So the next thing i am speaking about, is not against yourself, is it just that if i read some certains things more than ten times, it start to dislike them a bit.
I know that Lauren Faust or however she is called, created MLP (i honestly never search for that much informations about the most things), and i can accept it if some people want to make her a god or something like that.
The thing is, why can´t she be a normal Pony once? Everytime, she have to be something that powerfull, that she could destroy the planet with one Attack to overeact a little bit. It is just like she have to be Celestia in every fanfiction, where Discord transformed every Human into a Pony, what stops Discord to make her that one Donkey to overstate it again.
I don´t want to sound mean, what i probably do, i just try to explain what i mean, so that you can understand me at least a bit.
I think i read the second chapter later today, since it somehow is like i had read it already somewhere, i guess i have some kind of déjà vu
5779839 she created the MLP world we love. I figured it appropiate that her counterpart would be an alicorn.
And yes their relationship will be different. Dave's Personality is different then Cadance's. THough being the alicorn of Love will affect him. You'll start to see it in the next chapter.
I prefer this version instead of "YOUR PLANET GOT NUKED, NOW HAVE A CUPCAKE!"
5779979 you mean something you would do. Your pinklestia after all
5779987
Nope, I would do something more pink.
5779996 I figured the cupcakes would have been pink.
5779878
well like i said, i can understand it, but it is also kind of exaggerated.
Then again i never felt the need to worship any start or something like that, no offense!
I am thankfull for the thinks i get, i just thinks that is not really a reason to make them the strongest ever or a godlike creature.She created MLP, and it would make her the mother of MLP if you want to see it like that yes, but i don´t feel the need to make her a god because of that.
It probably sound otherwise, but i don´t have to much against it, i just think it is a bit exaggerated.
5780104 You won't be seeing her much. She did wanted i wanted her to do.
I know he is having an idenity crisses.... But this is WAY ANNOYING!!!!! Just go with "Him, His, He" When he thinks about himself and when others think or talk about him go with "She, and Her" This hole Half word think is annoying... Please in further chapters try not to do this... Or if you must do this atleast put "hi..her" The hole "hi..er" thing makes it annoying, atleast to me... It also makes the character look stupid for some resin, like he is trying to telepathly say Hi to someone but forgets how to and finishes up with er, I forgot...
Just a suggestion.... Besides that I find the story to be in a rather good start. Keep it up....
5780978 Don't worry that was temporary.
5780994 OH thank goodness!
fell
But I'm sure Cadance felt the impact. xD
5825606 true dat
The one princess in equestria that could be a total bro with you.
This is pretty good. The only thing story-wise that I dislike is the fact that Fausticorn knows about the human world. It's in every freaking fic I've ever read that has Fausticorn in it, and I'm honestly really tired of that being a thing. Lauren Faust doesn't know Equestria is real, so why should Fausticorn know Earth is real? Maybe she dreams of it or something, but to be real? Absurd!
It's personal opinion and all, but it is kind of annoying that she would know all this stuff and yet Luna and Celestia don't. It's mostly a personal gripe.
Other than that, the story is pretty good. It lacks details which would improve the quality, but besides that it accomplishes its goal.
Hope you keep writing.
I think an editor would help a little. There are some oddly worded sentences and other things.
No...
img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111230065255/mylittlecreative/images/d/da/Applejack_lie_face.gif
Didn't you hear her? Cadance is dead, you're not her.
6171080 Dave is her Physically. Only the mind is different.
I am not sure how I missed this story Admiral Q Ponyform as it is right up at the top of your story line.
I am really liking it and will be watching for up dates.
Harts Fire
how did he originally die? i wanna know
... Why do I feel that I could picture that scene in family guy right now...
Wow, this is a unique type of story. I think I will read it with much pleasure.
So this isn't some kind of body swap or shared brain thing, Cadence is actually dead? That's some kind of fucked up right there.
This essentially means the entire premise is a tragedy.
Yo that was tight bruh you killed Cadence or Faustcorn did seriously she was still alive technically and Faustcorn killed her. Amnesia happens a lot and usually something happens to bring it back so you killed Cadence for nothing
Good for you. Good story tho
Dave really shouldn't know if Cadance was a Princess or not already at the time he got transported. He lucked out in that one, it would be suspicious if he declared himself to be 'Princess' Cadance and he wasn't actually yet. Saying that, it IS a little bit of suspension of disbelief that Cadance's mental self would have basically died from metal beams of all things given alicorns are pretty much demi-goddesses in the show.
6002246 or maybe...faust does know it exists and is not telling anyone? She would get labeled insane if she did say the mlp world was real
but that's just a theory
The only thing I thought this
AND EVERYBODY DIED... EXCEPT FOR ME...
[youtube=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uBk88yNcwak]
His severe lack of reaction here annoys me.
Seriously, I don't care who you are or how you react to certain situations, there would have been a bigger reaction than this. There would probably be a lot more confusion, there would be at least a small variety of conflicting emotions, perhaps even some tears or depression given the news that HE FUCKING DIED.
No one, and I repeat, no one ever shrug off something like this as easily as this character did. Even if you were a sociopath or a stoner, there would still be more confusion than what was displayed here, and not nearly as much acceptance. Even if it was suppressed for a later time for fuck sake, a lot more would have been expressed here! There is just no fucking way any real human being, or even equine being, would react like this...
To me, it just makes this whole thing a whole lot less immersive and honestly a bit painful to read. To be perfectly honest, or bluntly honest, it kind of ruined it for me. I cannot identify with the character, therefore, I honestly don't give a shit about him. If I cannot give a shit about him at this point, given that he is the star of your story, I cannot be motivated to continue.
It would probably be a good idea at some point to revisit this chapter and take time to redo the reaction of the character. It should prove to be a benefit to your story, and I am sure we as readers would appreciate it.
This has been a colorful criticism from a very fucking tired individual. Now goodnight.
6459510 I have to agree I have not found many connections with the character yet. Yes bad shit happened to him but I can just go to the dark side of fim fiction and see so much of that shit happen to characters. Please try and make him act human or equine your choice but have ing an unrelatable character makes people lose interest and like mentioned sometimes painfull to read. I'll read a few more chapters to see if I can find something to keep me here.
6459510 Well... I would.. but then, after all the experiments I've conducted on my own genome, I scarcely qualify as human any longer anyway.
6379950 Cadance is only a halficorn. She's pretty weak with not just about as much endurance as Shining when using her magic. They don't truly ascend until they get the astral permawave manes, I'd wager.
So, Twilight too can still be killed by blunt force trauma!
I will agree however that's it's rather farfetched to allow Faust to take a dying human's mental framework, transport it across dimensions, then instantly repair Cadance's brain and insert the human personality... while also stating that she just couldn't repair Cadance in the first place.
Eh, most HiEs are even lazier than that. At least we got an explanation this time even if it's rather plot convenient and self-contradictory.
6379950
This book, find it and take in it's knowledge.
ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/512gh8lT0ZL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg
6379950 We know they can be hurt. and her body was alive and survived it and note if she were anything but an alicorn she would have fully died from it.
Truthfully i needed a way to get the real Cadance out of the picture so it's just Dave. So thisis what i came up with.
this is actually a well thought out explanation. i like it.
It begins
6806348
Totally agree with the brain swap being irrational. What really confuses me is that Fausticorn is giving dreams of the future to Lauren Faust for MLP. If Fausticorn can just pop around through time and space and across dimensions, why in the world would she not just intervene either:
A.) By directly stopping Cadance from being injured.
B.) By indirectly influencing Cadance, Shining Armor, or, hell, even the construction poinies through their dreams the night before, to pevent the accident.
Kind of hard to get into a story when the prologue is as rushed and empty as this one. "His name is Dave. He is now Cadance, for reasons. Read about him."
Doesn't really sell it for me.