Dave did what any rational man would do, if they were in the same situation; He let out the biggest, manliest scream ever recorded.
Now, the Royal Canterlot Voice gets some bad press from the show, but I would like to go on the record and put those neigh sayers to rest - if the voice in the show is compared to the horn of a train, then the real life one is more akin an air raid siren on steroids. It is a small miracle that Dave didn’t blow the windows out of his hospital room’s wall.
'Cadance! I'm freaking Cadance! Of all the ponies to put me into. It's bad enough that I'm a girl now, but of all of the ones to get stuck in. I couldn't be a member of the Mane 6, or Luna, or Celestia?! Heck, I’d take being Nightmare Moon over this. BUT THE ALICORN OF LOVE!?'
'Someone out there is laughing their head off at this one.' He, or let's just be accurate, she, was hyperventilating, almost to the point of going Lesson Zero Twilight style. 'Okay, I need to calm down and figure out what happened. What was that thing Cadance taught Twilight to do? Oh yes, breathe in, hold, then exhale.' Dave started by placing a hoof to his/her chest -’Damn, this hoof thing feels weird’ - breathed in, and then then moved it away as he/she exhaled. 'Sweet that actually works!' Dave did it a couple more times, and by then he had calmed down considerably. Almost immediately, there was a knock on the door, through which the muffled voice of Celestia's was heard;
“May we come in now Cadance?”
“Yes, I'm good now.” The door opened, and Celestia's head poked in with a slight smile on her face. She proceeded to open the door fully, granting access to herself, and the nurse/doctor pony from before. Dave decided to break the silence.
“How did I end up here?” Dave inquired.
Celestia grimaced, and looked away slightly, unable to hold his/her gaze.
“There was an accident. Some pegasi construction workers were carrying material across the courtyard, as part of the ongoing repair work to the castle. They got into complications, which caused a mid air collision. Pieces of the metal they use for scaffolding fell while you were below. A brave guard recruit, one Shining Armor, did his best to catch the items and shield you, but a couple of the poles were still able to strike you on the head.”
“Ouch.” Dave cringed; ‘Well that at least explains the cracking headache.’ He/she looked to the other pony in the room, the nurse/doctor.
“Okay, so how bad am I physically?” The unicorn mare used her magic, lifting up a clipboard from its resting place at the foot of the bed. She began to flip through the pages.
“Well you suffered excessive severe blunt force trauma, so badly that and I thought we had already lost you before you arrived here. There is bound to be some remaining concussion damage, and there is partial damage to your motor cortex. To be honest with you here, I’m surprised, not that you woke up so soon, but that you woke up at all. Tell us what you can remember?”
“Well I recognized Princess Celestia Immediately. I’d guess I'm in Canterlot which is in Equestria. But everything else is very muddled in here.” Dave pointed to his/her head. 'Man that gender thing is getting annoying.'
“What about yourself? Do you recognize yourself?” The doctor asked.
“Oh, yeah. I'm Princess Cadance, ‘(Still can't believe that one)’ ,Princess Celestia's adopted niece and the Alicorn of Love.”
“Well that's not as bad as it could be. We should let you get some rest. It's quite late in the night, after all.” Dave nodded to her and smiled at Celestia. As they left, the doctor cast a quick spell on him/her, instantly sending Dave to sleep.
* * * * * *
Dave found himself in what appeared to be a starfield, still in Cadance's body, floating in the ether.
“I can't even get a break in dream world.” he said pitifully.
“I would have thought that you would be grateful for a second chance.” A female voice allured. Before Dave could act, a blinding light appeared. When it faded he saw a tall, regal alicorn, about the same size as Celestia. She had a brilliant white coat, with a flowing Red mane and tail.
“Who are you?” Dave put bluntly.
“I am Queen Faust, Alicorn of Creation. I am the creator of Equus, the mother to Celestia and Luna. I created a set the tools for my daughters, and others to keep the world safe. But events have come to pace that threatens even my daughters, so I have chosen to intervene.”
“Hold on a second- Faust, as in the Fausticorn, as in Lauren Faust?” Queen Faust’s face started to blush red, with a grin forming from ear to ear, almost reminding me of the troll face.
“Ah, yes, my counterpart in your world. While she is not a direct equivalent, one of my powers allows me to project into the dreams of living creatures, like Luna, but mine is strong enough to reach even those in other dimensions. I have been planting seeds, and whispering tales in her dreams about my daughter's and Equestria, so she could make that show you like, in the hopes of spreading love and tolerance.”
“Huh, well - the more you know. Even if that's a bit creepy, now it’s time for the question of the hour. Why am I in Cadance's body?”
“I don’t think that there is an easy way to put this, so I’m going to be blunt - you both died.”
“WHAT?!” ‘You have got to be kidding me.’
“Cadance, the body you are in now, was hit in that accident. The damage it did to her brain was catastrophic. her memories, her consciousness, the Cadance you knew, is gone.
“And me?” ‘-Gulp-’
“Your… car is it? Interesting device, well anyway your car was involved in a crash with a larger vehicle. One of your wheels ...exploded?...It caused you to veer into the path of mini locomotive. Then what was left of your car and that mini locomotive spilled off that road. Then you both exploded. ... Your body was all but destroyed, but I managed to pull your mind through into Equestria.”
““DAMN!” Finally said after a few minutes. “So I was screwed anyway.” Dave pondered that a few minutes more. “Not to sound ungrateful or anything, but why me? Why do this in the first place?
“I only interfere with the world in the most dire circumstances. This world needs Cadance, her role in future events is critical to the preservation of harmony. As you are well aware, Cadance plays a major role in Twilight Sparkle's path to Ascension. That also brings up my second reason; -You have the knowledge from the show, and while limited, still gives you a better head start then a random soul would. And after everything you’ve been through, surely you could use a bit of love in your life? So who better to be the princess of love, the being destined to hand it out, then someone who knows the pain of having no love.
“Now I know where Celestia gets her trolling from.” Faust gave a big grin.
“Well not just her. Luna got my fondness for pranks. And being immortal means I have to find something entertaining, or I will die from sheer boredom.” .
“Alright, I'm stuck filling in for Cadance. If I'm going to pull this off I'll need some help. I have no idea how to use my magic, at all. I’ve only seen it work in the show. Can you do something about that?”
“Well I'm sensing that you’re waking up, so we don't have much time. I'll give you the basics, the advance stuff you have to learn on your own, but my daughter is a great teacher...most of the time.” Queen Faust lowered her horn to Dave's, he felt a great swirl of magic, and as a white light began he heard Queen Faust say;
“Good luck with your new life, Cadance.” And with that she was gone. Dave was back in the hospital bed.
‘I’m still Cadance, but it is my life now, to live as I choose. There’s going to be some changes around here.’