27. Moonbutts Unite, part 3: Sunny Side Story (by Eyeswirl the Weirded)
Princess Celestia had a strange job. But then, she had a strange life, in that it was so very, very long that she was more intimately familiar with deja vu than with any lover she'd ever had. The thought did nothing to distract from her boredom. Just as she'd told Luna, everything was quite handled, she'd prepared everything in advance so well that she barely had to lift a hoof today. She had nothing to do, just like she'd every time she managed to sort things out before their number came up, so to speak.
Am I periodically outsmarting myself? Freeing up time I have no idea what to do with?
That sounded like the kind of thing Twilight might have done, though she was more likely than Celestia herself to have scheduled something for these moments anyway. Or even scheduled something for unscheduled breaks in the schedule if something unexpected happened. On that note, she wondered what Luna was up to right about now. She'd been left with Moondancer and Trixie, all signs indicating that both were extroverts that might help pull 'Moon Sky' out of her shell a little more, which made her realize something:
With Moondancer in another city and playing with one unsociable workaholic, her other two unsociable workaholic friends were deprived of their usual source of levity, and may have been at each other's throats at this very instant. Celestia smiled. I'll just pop in for a visit!
Teleporting just outside the door to Sunset, Moondancer, and Twilight's dorm room, she knocked twice. "Hello, my faithful students! May I come in?"
There was a sound very similar to Twilight jumping with sudden fright, quickly whispering something, Sunset sighing a little, the sound of a spell being cast, the sound of a second spell being cast, and Twilight loud-whispering 'No, wait!!' as the door opened. Quickly scanning the room, Celestia found roughly what she'd come to expect from her students; papers and books all over the place, beds unmade, top-notch sloppiness of living quarters. The state of the room and Twilight's worried, bullet-sweating expression were probably related, but what really caught her eye was the mess of cards in the middle of the floor.
"Hello, Princess," said Twilight through a forced, ear-to-ear smile, "we were just, uh, studying the effects of, er, unorganized, space, for, the, t-to, uh-"
Sunset, lying by the cards with a blanket on her back, delivered a much calmer explanation. "We focused on academics well into the night, went a little batty, got to sleep, woke up half an hour ago, and now we're doing something other than what we did yesterday because repeating a process and expecting different outcomes is crazy." Maintaining eye-contact with Celestia, she nodded to Twilight. "Like worrying that you'll force us to go through remedial tidiness training because the room isn't perfect."
Don't even make a joke, Celestia told herself, poor Twilight looks all 'magic kindergarten' as it is. "I see. Do you mind if I ask what you're up to today? I don't have anything important to attend to at the moment, so I thought I'd check in on the two of you."
Sunset shrugged, not getting up. "Playing cards."
Hesitantly calming down herself, Twilight glanced around the messy room, to Celestia, to the cards, to Celestia again. "Er, yes, that. Our first plan was board games, but the ones we have all need at least three players, and researching the right components with which to construct a golem capable of playing with us might have put us back where we were last night."
Sunset vaguely nodded in agreement. "That, and golems are kinda stupid to begin with, in function and concept." An animated mass of material typically didn't have much more cognitive power than 'kill everything in this room.' That might have been for the best, because going the extra mile to give such a creature real intelligence would only prove how little the caster must have had.
Celestia smiled. "Well, not that I'm particularly interested in board games," it technically wasn't lying, she just wanted something to do, "but perhaps I could be your third player?"
Sunset and Twilight shared a quick look, the latter frowning a little. "I don't know, these aren't exactly advanced, intellectually-involving processes, just board games we played more as foals. Do you really want to spend your time wi-"
"Please," said Sunset with a grin that bordered on smug as she glanced at Twilight, "don't mind her, come right in, cards were getting kind of dull anyway and it would be so rude of us to turn you away, Princess."
Twilight's eyes widened, looking like she'd just been accused of high treason. "I-I wasn't turning her away, I was just-"
"Thank you, girls," said Celestia in the most soothing tone she could manage, hoping it would defuse the worry Sunset's implication just injected Twilight with. She strode in, closed the door behind her, and took a seat on the floor near Sunset.
Twilight glanced rapidly between the three different chairs she was levitating before noticing that none were necessary, smiled sheepishly, gently set them all back down, retrieved a random board game from a nearby shelf, and trotted over to join them. "So, I should probably start by explaining the rules..."
Listening, Celestia wondered if she should have introduced herself to her top students as Sunny Skies before now. That way, she could be near them without any of the stress it always seemed to cause, mostly for Twilight, when she was around. Then again, she wasn't sure how it would go over if she really did manage to befriend them only to reveal her true identity later. Feeling just a hint of guilt for the realization that she was technically letting her sister be the guinea pig for exactly that, she wondered what Luna was up to.
---
One more thing Trixie loved about Manehattan? There were enough slightly elevated, mostly-flat areas she could use as a stage that putting on a show almost anywhere was simple. Her wagon was safely secured in the usual, secret spot just outside Canterlot, so she didn't have any props, but that was fine, she'd dazzled crowds with her raw magical talent before! The set of today's impromptu performance was a stone circle in the middle of a bigger circle of grass that was too small to be a park, but large enough for the nearby benches to be used to enjoy the peaceful flowers dotting the area, all of it encircled by roads that were never so busy that Trixie had to worry about spectators making their way to the central island.
There was the little problem of it being a circular stage and thus some ponies just staring at Trixie's cape from the back the whole time, but this was mitigated by conjuring a few poles and long, space-monopolizing ribbons to hang from them. Doing so usually painted a clear enough 'this is the back of the stage' picture in their minds that everypony gathered before what Trixie designated as the front of the stage, as they had now.
Smiling, she gave the crowd a friendly wave. "Good morning, citizens of Manehattan!"
That was all it took to draw a cheer.
Giggling, Trixie went on. "Yes, it has been too long since Trixie has graced your fair city with her presence, but before we begin, Trixie has a few things she'd like to say." She cleared her throat, meeting as many gazes as she could with a brief scan of the crowd. She spoke gently, but loudly enough to still be heard. The combination was one more of her Great and Powerful talents, of course.
"When I first visited Manehattan, some of you may recall that I was haughty and boastful to an unprofessional degree, that I simply took delight in proving I was better than other ponies. That was years ago, and I've come to understand much now that I didn't back then. I've come to enjoy performing not just for myself, but for those who would give me their time as I did so, for the kind of ponies that would offer something of themselves while expecting little or nothing in return." She winked. "Granted, it's hard to entirely honor that request..."
She waited for the chuckles to subside before going on.
"As such, I wanted to repay you all for what you've given me." Grinning with her showpony's smile, she stood on her hind hooves, performing a quick spin that threw her cape out with a flourish. "So hold your coins, fair citizens of Manehattan, for today, no payment but your screams of delight will be accepted! Watch and be amazed as for the sole sake of your viewing pleasure, you witness the magic of the Great, and Powerful Trrrrrrixie!"
And the crowd went wild.
Ha, short, heart-felt speeches; win the crowd and get something off your chest at the same time. Best form of fanservice!
However, Trixie still had to put on an actual show, so she concentrated on five points in the air in front of her, little orbs of magical energy forming accordingly. She connected the points with lines of light, forming a pentagon of colors that already had some of the crowd ooh-ing and ahh-ing. The pentagon levitated higher in the air where more of the audience could see, tripling in size as it did. Slowly, it floated backward, leaving a sort of duplicate after-effect where it had been, which resulted in a big, long, floating, glowing, colorful pentagon-tube.
The tube started to barrel-roll in the air, going faster and faster until it was just a whirlwind of vibrant color. Part of Trixie lamented that she wasn't doing this at night, when it would have shown better, but this was just the warm-up for the real trick. When the tube stopped spinning, it was twisted, mangled and bent into a mess of polygonal light and triangles. Some in the crowd started whispering, as though they thought something had gone wrong. Trixie just grinned and kept up the series of spells at play.
The mangled shapes of the twisted tube began to unfold, light refracting and reflecting in ways few pegasus rainbow teams could manage as the shapes stretched out, flipping and folding as though being rolled and turned over an an ever-changing table until they formed a sheet, blanketing more and more of the area over the stage in bright, light-warping prisms. Soon, the expanding sheet formed a dome, surrounding the stage, the grassy area around it, the benches, and the audience, all the way up to the roads surrounding the area.
Trixie took off her hat, both to show the magical brilliance her horn was giving off and because she was starting to sweat. "Behold! Witness your fair city as it appears to the Great and Powerful Trixie!" She stamped a hoof, more for effect than any relation to her magic, and in the same instant, a ring of light flashed around the rim of the dome, flickering through the lines connecting the structure like lightning as the final phase of the trick took form.
The various shapes of the dome light up, becoming nearly transparent like a massive, messy, curved, stain-glass window. Through it, everypony could see the surrounding area of Manehattan, all the tall buildings, little shops, cabs going by, and everything else they recognized barring ponies walking the street who stopped in their tracks to stare at the magical dome, but now, all of it was awash with rich color, like the entire city gave off an ethereal glow, energy and life seeming to bleed off everything like it were wreathed in small, slow-moving flames of the whole spectrum of the rainbow. It was like looking into a fantasy world, a bright, happy place where nothing ever went wrong, and Trixie's sentiment of a moment ago wasn't lost on most of her viewers.
The crowd went wild, both for the display, and for just what Trixie's demonstration meant for quite a few of them.
---
Well, thought Celestia, maybe she's not up to all that much right now. She shrugged, looking over the results of the fourth board game she'd won in a row. Not just won, dominated.
"I feel like I should warn you, Princess, Sunset and I are seasoned veterans at these games!"
It was possible they were also rusty veterans...
"I have a thirty-two hundred bit surplus, Sparkle, let's see how much longer your little line of houses holds up."
If only she hadn't used all of it undermining Twilight...
"This one is a little different, Princess, it's mostly just rolling die."
Nopony was using telekinesis, but Celestia really did just get lucky a lot on this one. That, or her students were somehow willing each others' dice to land unfavorably. That seemed to be the pattern, the two of them repeatedly working to sabotage or advance ahead of each other, never her, even given what she was sure were ample opportunities to do so. It was almost like playing with castle staff again, but at least she had a little bit of fun rolling die and moving brightly-colored plastic pieces across painted cardboard. Regardless, she felt it was time to move on, as it didn't look like either of her students were having fun losing.
Smiling, Celestia stood up. "Are either of you girls hungry? I was thinking we could try preparing our own meals, don't the university chefs have today off?"
"Sure," replied Sunset with a defeated groan while getting to her hooves, "think we're about out of-" She winced as a loud CRICK sounded from her back. "Ahhahouch..."
Twilight rolled her eyes. "I told you you should have gotten up and stretched an hour ago."
Despite doing roughly that now, Sunset scowled a little at her. "You were just trying to break my concentration!"
"I was trying to break your bad posture!"
"This coming from the filly who dances like a-"
"NOTHING IS WRONG WITH MY DANCING!!"
The two of them stopped, blinked, and looked around the room, leveling vaguely expectant stares at Celestia, who looked back at them in confusion. "...What?"
"Eh, n-nothing," muttered Sunset, who wasn't even sure what she'd been waiting for as she walked out to the hall, "let's head to the kitchen, I guess."
Trotting out the door, Twilight raised her snout somewhat haughtily. "I will procure a confectionery instruction manual when we get there."
Following them, Celestia smiled. This should be exciting, I haven't had a chance to cook for myself in years!
---
A few of her flashier tricks later, Trixie paused for a moment. "And now, Trixie requires a volunteer!" She scanned the crowd for ponies that looked like they could stand still for a minute when she spotted her fellow moon-bearers in the audience, which, for some reason, surprised her. Keeping her stage face, however, she smiled, pointing at Moondancer. "You there, join Trixie on stage, if you'd please!" Moondancer blinked twice, glancing around before giving Trixie that 'who, me?' face she'd seen in so many prospective stage partners, which made her giggle. "Yes, the unicorn with the red mane!" Trixie added a wink. "And her friend, if she is so inclined!"
Moon Sky fiercely shook her head, which Trixie interpreted as 'I get stage fright,' though Moondancer complied and stood next to Trixie on the stone platform.
"Hiya," she whispered, with a smile, "is this the usual thing?"
"Yes," Trixie whispered back, "what are you doing he-actually, time for that later." Taking a second to be sure she had the crowd's full attention, she cleared her throat. "Change of plans, fine citizens of Manehattan! Instead of one of her own spells, Trixie would like to introduce you to somepony that demonstrated a different kind of magic for her in a time of need!" She hadn't come up with a sufficiently ear-grabbing name for it yet, 'Magic of Ponies Giving You Stuff And While They Probably Don't Expect Anything In Return You Really Should Try To Repay Them Somehow, If Only To Show The Feeling's Mutual' was a few syllables too long. Maybe Moondancer and Ditzy Doo had something worked out already.
"So please give it up for Trixie's friend, Moondancer!"
That was apparently all the crowd needed to go wild with cheers, Moondancer surprising Trixie again by smiling sheepishly and turning red, even nervously shuffling her hooves as all eyes were on her, but she at least managed to coyly wink at the crowd.
In her head, however, Moondancer was touched. A little self-conscious, but touched! She knew that this, what the happy ponies of the crowd were giving her right now, was everything Trixie wanted from them for herself, and that she would share that with Moondancer just made her feel all warm and tingly!
Not in that way, but still very nice!
Smiling, she actually gestured for Moon Sky to come up and join them, but it looked like now was a bad time to ask her to put aside her shyness as she ducked her head down and tried to back out of the crowd.
Trixie, however, wasn't taking 'no' for an answer. "Alright," she said with a mischievous smile, "Maybe one more out of Trixie!" Taking off her hat to emit a dazzling flash from her horn, she waved her cape in a wide arc, Moon Sky finding herself now backing away on the stone circle, her flank facing the crowd.
Realizing this, she meep'd, about-faced, and stood perfectly still next to Moondancer, at least managing to keep her legs from shaking.
"And this," continued Trixie, "is Trixie's new friend, Moon Sky! And together we're-"
No, thought Moon Sky, pleasedon'tsaywe're-
Moondancer beamed, flicking Trixie's cape to hang off one side, grabbing her and Moon Sky in a group hug, and turning the three of them with flanks facing the crowd as she shouted. "TEAM MOONBUTT!!"
The crowd was dead quiet for a few seconds, then exploded with whoops, cheers, and whistles.
Now Moon Sky blushed, Heart having a panic attack. A Heart-attack, if you will.
"They're looking at us! Eyes! Staring! Judging! Boring into my soul!!"
Brain was less bothered. "They're just ordinary ponies and you're visible as your alias. Nothing is out of place here."
"STAAAAAAARIIIIIING!!"
Brain sighed, going back to its newspaper.
---
"Huh," began Twilight as she, Sunset, and the Princess of the Sun™ stood alone among sinks, stoves, ovens, and so many cupboards, "I don't think I've ever actually been in this part of the school."
Sunset shrugged. "I think they had a Home-Ec program a while back, but almost everypony who can afford to go here can also afford a maid, or at least get take-out whenever the building is closed."
Twilight giggled. "Redundancy. If only it had been a safety class, huh Princess?" No response. "Princess Celestia?"
The two of them saw their alicorn mentor looking over various cooking implements with a big smile. "That's nice, girls. Say," she said while turning to them with an even wider grin, "why don't I whip something up for the two of you? Not everypony can say they've eaten something personally prepared by a princess."
Twilight got that adorable I-don't-know-all-of-the-details-here-and-that-worries-me face. "Uh, well, I... Are you sure you want to do everything yourse-"
Sunset was much more immediately obliging, wearing a kind of coaxing smile. "Now, now, Twilight," she said while pushing her toward some nearby chairs, "it would be so rude of us to deny her offer, why don't we just wait and enjoy what the ruler of our nation takes the time out of her day to prepare us?"
Digging her hooves into the floor, Twilight resisted. "But, I-I haven't even located a cook-book yet, and she might need our help, and-..." she turned to see Celestia giving her what could only be called puppy eyes, melting her will then and there. Despite being quite proficient in the use of 'Puppy eyes' technique herself, Twilight always thought that the recipient had to be taller and older than the user for this to work. How wrong was she! Moving to take a seat on her own now, she smiled. "I mean, we'd be happy to sample your cooking, Princess."
And like that, Celestia lit up like her charge, levitating a bowl, a spatula, an egg beater, and a knife all at once. "Thank you, girls! I'll make something so delicious, they'll let me cook for this year's Gala for sure! Eleventh time's the charm!" Not minding the quick exchange of raised eyebrows her students were giving each other, Celestia got to work...
[youtube=aCm1VntSii8]
Not making toast or coffee, or some fries of hay,
Now I've got the kitchen, got the kitchen, got the kitchen today!
This is a golden chance, one I won't throw away,
now I've got the kitchen, got the kitchen, got the kitchen, hurray!
I just love the pouring things, and pouring things in bowls!
Mix it around, mix it around, who needs cooking scrolls?
Pour it on the table, hit it with a pin, yeah!
Free to work the kitchen, work the kitchen, work the kitchen, hurray!
See how I'm careful that the eggs do not break?
Surely, mine will be a masterful cake!
Sugar and choc-o-late sauce, surely can't go astray...
Now I work the kitchen, work the kitchen my way!
Take six bags of flour pour them in a pot,
and for flavoring, add some grape-juice and stir a lot!
At six hundred degrees, I bet it cooks extra fast, yeah!
I can use the kitchen, use the kitchen, use the kitchen at last!
Admiring her creation on the counter-top, Celestia could only ponder in silence why none of the cakes she'd ever been served looked like this, all blackish and lopsided and shifting back and forth of its own accord. The castle cooks must have known some special trick for making their work look the way it did. Regardless, it was time to serve her hungry students! She slapped the thing onto a platter (it only bounced a little bit) and brought it out to the cafeteria, where they'd moved so as to be able to hold discussion without distracting her.
Despite Sunset slumping over the table with both forehooves massaging her temples and repeatedly mouthing the words 'I don't care,' Twilight was talking with a smile. "And then I told him 'That's not a snowball, Shiny, that's a snow ellipsoid!' Isn't that funny?"
Sunset stopped what she was doing, slowly sat up, and despite a little smirk, looked at Twilight with cold, dead eyes. "I'm sorry, did you say something?"
Twilight just glared at her. "I know you heard every word, you can't not hear it when there's a quill tapping in an otherwise quiet room."
Sunset's eye twitched. "Yea, fine, I heard all about how your idiot brother can't tell shapes apart. What did you want me to take away from that story, that it runs in the family?"
"No, I-"
Celestia set the platter on the table. "It's done!"
Whatever annoyance Twilight had at Sunset vanished, along with most of the blood in her face. "P...P-Princess Celestia? What is that?"
The Princess of Baking smiled. "It's a cake! Made to custom specifications. Don't worry about the lack of icing, that's all on the inside!"
"Um... Well, i-it looks very-"
"Looks great, Princess!" To Twilight's horror, Sunset was smiling widely, as though she plain didn't recognize that the thing before them was not meant for pony mouths. She levitated a fork. "I'll go first!"
As much as Twilight would have liked to blast the cake into particles, particles that would never hurt anypony again, there was nothing she could do with Celestia standing right there. Still, some part of her took a tiny modicum of satisfaction in knowing Sunset would go first. Guess these are your 'just desserts,' Sunset.
Sunset stabbed the fork into the monstrosity, tore off a chunk, popped it into her mouth without hesitation, and chewed. To Twilight's immediate shock, she only detected faint little signs of discomfort, such as some irregular jaw movement and the occasional eye twitch before Sunset swallowed the mouthful, turning to look at Twilight with what she just knew wasn't a real smile. "Your turn!"
"Eh, th-that's okay, I'm-"
Sunset gasped, holding a hoof to her heart. "Twilight! You're not about to tell us you don't want any of the cake Celestia herself slaved over for our sakes?"
Celestia would have said that she actually had a lot of fun baking that, but she wanted as much feedback as possible and they didn't let her into the castle kitchen all that much anymore. Honestly, make a few mistakes and ponies these days were all stomach pumps and quarantines, but she was sure she'd learned a lot since then!
Seeing the hopeful, expectant look in Celestia's eyes, again, Twilight could only do what every sensible fiber of her being was screaming at her not to do. She forced a smile, "I'd... love to, Princess!" picked up a fork, I haven't even written a will yet!! and took a bite.
Her tongue immediately called for her brain's swift and immediate execution, slowing the workings of her jaw muscles and endangering the economic prosperity of her stomach, but she persevered, face twisting in what hopefully looked like delight as she forced herself to keep chewing. Then brilliance struck and it occurred to her that all she had to do was swallow the forsaken matter, though she'd likely be hearing complaints from the department of her own intestines later. Regardless, she managed to get it down, turning to see the look on Sunset's face when she saw her little scheme to make her disappoint Celestia hadn't-SHE'S ALREADY EATING MORE?!
Still managing a smile, Sunset spoke around another mouthful. "Ish prehhe gooh, Purnciss." She gave Twilight an expectant look, along with Celestia, who, for all her power and age, looked not unlike a filly who had just baked her first plate of extra-crispy cookies and was waiting for the verdict.
Twilight tried to ignore the tears in the corners of her own eyes as she maintained a false grin. "It's... greeaaaat, Princess. Haha."
Once more, Celestia lit up with glee. "That's good to hear! I'll go see what else I can make, you two wait here, and enjoy!" And off she trotted to the kitchen, humming a cheery tune.
Twilight waited until Celestia was out of sight, then immediately leaned down to vigorously lick the underside of the table.
"Oh, suck it up, Sparkle."
Sitting up straight again, she gave Sunset an incredulous look, more-so because she was still eating that abomination. "How, HOWWW, can you be doing any part of this?! Does that actually taste good to you?!"
Grimacing a little as she swallowed another mouthful, Sunset shook her head. "Of course not, did you even taste this stuff? It's awful." She ate another bite of her own free will, Twilight's stare of utter bafflement, while hilarious, saying she needed to elaborate a little more. "You don't want the princess to cry because you didn't like her cooking, do you?"
"I don't," Twilight answered warily, "but I know you wouldn't mind that at all, or if you did, you wouldn't let it stop you." Now it was Sunset's turn to look confused. Twilight was calm, trying to riddle out the situation even as she spoke. "I know you, Sunset Shimmer, you never settle for less than your highest effort, never stop just because something is 'good enough,' you always strive to be your best and push everypony around you to reach the same mark. Why would that change now?"
Putting down the fork, Sunset glanced at the kitchen doors. "It's, I don't..." There was the tiniest hint of a blush as she avoided eye-contact. "Look, it's nothing you need to worry about, if you want to get out of this, make an excuse and go, but I intend to eat whatever she brings out."
Not satisfied at all with that answer, Twilight tilted her head a little. Moondancer probably wouldn't settle for this either... Wait, that's it, Moondancer! Twilight smiled, she knew what to do. "C'moooon, you can tell your old buddy Twily!"
Sunset gave Twilight her blankest stare. "What."
The smile stayed. In fact, it got wider! "Why are you okay eating this stuff alone? Is it a secret?"
Sunset crossed her forehooves. "It's personal."
"That's cool! You know who you can tell personal matters? Another person!"
"Twilight, I'm-"
"I'm another person!"
"I know what you're doing."
Twilight winked. "You mean who I'm doing!" Sunset's jaw dropped, Twilight's own face immediately burning red, but she didn't let up the offensive! "Haha, well, that's to say, nopony, but still! Can you tell me now?"
"N... No!"
"How about now?"
"No!"
Twilight slumped, frowning. "Oh, okay..." She waited six seconds, then beamed brightly. "How about now?"
"I said no!"
"Please?"
"No!"
"Pretty please?"
"No!"
"Pretty please with a burnt cherry on top?"
"I. Said. No."
They locked eyes for a long moment, Sunset's face set in an angry pout, Twilight doing her best impression of Moondancer's big, happy smile.
"Please?"
"AAAARRGH!!" Sunset rested her head in her forehooves propped up on the table, her face down as Twilight sloooowly leaned over to whisper into her ear.
"Please?"
Sunset groaned. "...Alright. Alright, fine, just..." She sat up straight, sighing. "Okay, you really wanna know that badly?" Smiling normally now, Twilight nodded. "I, it's like..." She glanced at the kitchen doors again. "I've always wanted the princess to cook me something." When Twilight just stared at her in perplexed silence, she shrugged, smiling a little. "I mean, can you think of something more amazing than that that doesn't involve magic? A princess, the ruler of the nation and the pony who raises the sun, making a meal for you? That doesn't sound like something you want to be able to say happened to you?"
Despite her growing embarrassment, Sunset giggled. "There was only one when I first thought this up, but it still stands: 'Princess Celestia herself baked me a cake, where are you in life?'" Shaking her head, she looked down at the floor. "I know it's stupid, but that's why they call them dreams, right?"
For just a moment, Twilight was overcome. The spoken sentiment left her as varied in feelings as the awful cake had left foul tastes in her mouth, and that Sunset could push herself to embrace her dream even when it turned out like this just made Twilight want to hug her. To glomp, even! But she wasn't Moondancer, so she just smiled, tears of a different kind in the corners of her eyes now. "You're a sweet pony, Sunset."
If Sunset hadn't been red before, she was now. "What?"
Twilight nodded, trying to ignore the lump in her throat. "You've grown to love Celestia so much, the thought of her cooking for you is almost as if it were your own mother making you something to-"
"No," Sunset said while waving her forehooves in an 'X' pattern, "no, no, no, no, that isn't even close to the reason, it's pure, megalomaniacal, highest-power-in-the-land-serving-me fantasizing, and nothing mor-"
"Call it whatever you have to, Sunset, I'm not judging you."
"It's true!!"
Twilight was still smiling warmly, amazed at just how tender her surliest friend could really be. "It's okay, really, I know you didn't really like your hometown all that much, it's perfectly natural to get attached to-"
Hiding her face in her forehooves, Sunset groaned. "You could not be misunderstanding this any harder."
"Then why didn't you say anything?" Sunset peeked an inquisitive eye through her hooves to see Twilight tilting her head. "When she asked how it was? I may not understand this fantasy as well as you do, but I think if you really wanted to embrace the 'megalomaniac' spirit here, you'd have taken the chance to criticize her, to berate her for doing a less than perfect job for you. Right?"
Sunset's mouth opened and closed a few times. "I, I was going to-I am! I was just, going to wait until..." Her face rapidly reddened again. After about a minute of fumbling for excuses in her own head, she abruptly stood up. "C'mon, you wanted to tell her too, right?"
Twilight looked down at the floor in shame. "I do feel bad about being less than honest."
"Good."
The pair headed through the kitchen doors, finding the area to be much, much messier than they remembered as Celestia danced about on her hind legs, her forehooves occupied with whacking a strainer full of fruit with a hammer. It sounded like she was in the middle of another tune when she spotted them.
"It, doesn't mat-ter, if it's boiled or fried, just-Oh, hello girls! Have you ever tasted eight kinds of fruit in a cookie before?"
"Princess Celestia," began Sunset with a solemn face, "...Twilight has something she's dying to tell you."
Twilight's head immediately whipped to look at the back-stabber, who only gave her a smirk that all but said. 'What? You thought I'd do it all for you?' As she supposed she had lied too, Twilight gulped, looking back at the patient, understanding, hopelessly inept cook of a princess that now waited on her.
"Yes? What is it, Twilight?"
"W-well..." Celestia could take a little criticism, right? If they asked her to eat a little bit of her cake herself (not more than a few milligrams, or however much was needed to register taste, Twilight wasn't a monster), she'd know just how bad it was! She wouldn't have anypony banished for that, right? "It's about the cake. I know you put a lot of effort into it, a-and it was, very unique in-ow!" Sunset had sharply elbowed her, reminding her that she was supposed to be saying that the cake sucked. "What I mean to say is that, uh..." She took a deep breath. "The cake wasn't actually very good, it was bad, horrendous, I can only imagine that your cake could take lessons from a bog hydra's underbelly in terms of flavor, because it was probably the worst pain I have ever had on my tongue!"
Dead silence weighed down on the room, Twilight finding breathing to be very, very difficult until Sunset opened her mouth. "Wow. Harsh. Can you believe this filly? So rude."
Twilight glared daggers at her, whispering what may have been her last words under her breath. "You are a demon, Sunset Shimmer."
Celestia sighed a little. "I can believe it, yes." Putting down the strainer and the colorful mush that would not be baked into cookies after all, she managed a tiny smile. "This one wasn't any good either?"
Taking over, Sunset answered calmly. "I'm afraid not, Princess. I don't know about bog hydras and their miscellaneous body parts, I'll leave that to my friend here," Twilight's glare just made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside, "but it really wasn't good, and I'm sorry for not telling you that right away."
She glanced back and forth between Twilight and the princess, feeling one of those odd little bouts of guilt for a thing she hadn't not done yet. "The truth is, I've actually always wanted to eat something you prepared personally, and this seemed like the best opportunity I was ever going to get." She knew she was blushing, but damned if she was going to back out now. "I don't know if you have any plans to ever try this again, but if you do, I..." She gulped, willing to face quite a few more awful cakes if it meant one day living her little fantasy exactly as she'd envisioned it. "I'd be willing to taste-test the result, if you'd let me."
Twilight immediately stepped forward. "And I so would I!" As she noticed Sunset looking at her in surprise, she smiled. "you'd need a second opinion anyway, right?"
Celestia smiled too. "Right. Thank you both for volunteering." She only smirked a little bit. "And I promise not to make anything so rancid that you feel the need to compare it to a monster's crotch ever again." Twilight and Sunset stared at her in wide-eyed, mouth-agape silence, her grin becoming increasingly forced. "Haha, because, I could, uh, taste-test it a little bit myself first? So I'll at least have some inkling as to whether or not it's edible? Then we'd have three opinions!"
She'd have taken a cricket noise spell right now, even as a joke at her expense, but the awkward silence persisted.
"Say," she offered with a relaxed smile, "do you two know that the mares Moondancer went to Manehattan with all have moons in their cutie marks? Is it true that she refers to such ponies as her fellow 'moonbutts'?"
Sharing a slow, uncertain look, the two nodded.
"Right, well," Celestia turned so they could see her cutie mark, "I have a sun, so does Sunset, and Twilight's is a magical star, but a star is just a sun too, so, I was thinking the three of us could be sunbutts!"
Sunset paled. Twilight turned red. Neither said a word.
"B-because, you know," she said with a sheepish smile, starting to sweat, "we all have... suns?" Nothing. She couldn't remember seeing a more uncomfortable pair of ponies in her life. At least not within the last few decades. "I mean, if Moondancer has her trio of moonbutts, I was thinking we could have something similar."
Sunset blanched even further. "You... you want to be butt buddies with us?"
"What?! No!!"
Twilight looked like she was about to faint. "I, I... I don't even..."
Blushing furiously, Celestia facehoofed. "I, it, n-nevermind, I was just kidding. Unless you wanted to...?" The looks she got said that just made it worse. She forced a wide smile. "Well, look at the time, nation to run, ta-ta now!" And then she teleported back to her room in the castle, glancing around.
Well, that was a disaster. Is Lulu home yet?
Back in the kitchen, however, Twilight and Sunset gradually recovered from the searing awkward of... whatever just happened, Sunset being the first to speak. "You're really willing to weather her cooking again?"
Twilight smiled a little. "You think I'd let you torture yourself like that all alone? What are friends for?"
Sunset tinted red and looked away, but she was unmistakably smiling. "Let's head back, eating meals from her is fine, but I'd rather not have to clean up after a princess."
Giggling, Twilight followed. After about a minute of walking, she had a question. "Hey, Sunset?"
"Yes, Twilight?"
"How did you tolerate that much of something so horrible, anyway?"
"Nostalgia."
"What?"
"Nothin'. Just, if you're ever going to Southern Equestria? Bring your own food."
They walked for another minute. "Hey, Sunset?"
"Yes, Twilight?"
She hesitated to actually verbalize this one, deeply grateful Moondancer wasn't in ear-shot. "Am I a sunbutt?"
Sunset hesitated to actually answer, unconsciously forming a snarky comment for a joke that wasn't coming. "Only if you want to be, Twilight. Only if you want to be."
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Nice chapter. Saw a bit of Trollestia. Love the depiction of the Princess being bored and not so perfect. She probably would've had better luck forming the Sunbutts if she was her alter ego, Sunny Skies... maybe. And Sunset's sensitive side... I don't even... well, it was... interesting. Anyway, keep up the good work.
6311788
Alright the epub is a format for public books and this site automatically generates then from the story, some people like me when there is an update pickk the epubs from the site instead of reading from the site, myself i do it to read from work since i dont always have internet and both to have some kind of order because i read a lot and I put the stories in a row, anyway
dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/59799956/2015-08-14%2009.59.48.jpg
This is your last chapter and as you can see its there and everything but when i go to the chapter list it gives me this:
dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/59799956/2015-08-14%2009.59.17.jpg
As you can see its just the name of the story over and over, after dissasembling the epub I found there isnt a chapter list and my epub reader is giving me that weird list, as i said i read a lot and this rarely happens so I dont know for sure what the problem is since i never have published anything here.
Im not sure if you can do something about it but I just wanted to let you know there is a problem there...
(sorry about the images being tilted, im from work and dont have any tools here to fix them and they dont allow me to DL so i took a couple of snaps from my phone)
Poor Twilight. She's stuck in between, not really a sunbutt but not a moonbutt either. She should go hang out with her family so they can all be starbutts together.
Not Nightlight though, Nightlight's a moonbutt and they should shun him.
6318010 Oh, I see. I'm afraid I can't help you, despite wanting to. I don't use epub, but I sometimes read stories on tablet/PDA/phone. I'm familiar with this, which is why I use numbers first, before the title of the chapter (instead of naming it 'Chapter 3: Title here'). It seems like whatever your program first gives you the title of the story, THEN title of the chapters, which sounds really annoying. Maybe you could download the .txt files instead and download them separately- that way I'm sure numbers come first?
That scene with Sunset literally killed me. I got so much daww's pumped into my system that my heart stopped, I hope you're happy. My ghost will haunt you forever.
On a side note I really appreciate the song parodies, while it may not add much to the story itself I always enjoy them and I usually find myself singing the lines. I'm also looking forward to seeing Sunset's backstory (If that is a thing that will happen at some point).
P.S. We all know Sunny wants to be a Sunbutt with Celly and Twily (She just isn't honest enough with her feelings).
Dat scene with Sunset wanting momma's home-cooked meals tho....
Also,
I think you may have accidentally left an author's note in the text of the chapter.
They NEED to be sun butts. Why would anyone not want to be best friends with Celestia? It shows just how much she cares about and trusts them. Do it!!
I like how the Sunbutt encounter is the the opposite of the Moonbutt encounter.
It's the princess happily seeking the company of her less-social students, who know them very well, and then they hold a secret from her, but decide they have to confess right away!
Sorta an inversion of how the Moonbutts are going.
6318472
Totally how I planned it.
cdn-img.fimfiction.net/user/tvc5-1431829193-129540-128
That was a funny chapter. Thank you for writing and posting this
Celestia came thiiiiiis close to reveal the truth about Moonie to the rest of the maresketeers (that she's one of her special agents in charge of nudging Sunny towards the straight and narrow (though not necessarily "straight" straight
) and keeping Twilight from any not self-inflicted danger).
6318010 Try using Calibre with FanFicFare to download the ePubs (FanFicFare can be used stand-alone, but as a command-line program). Downloading this story in ePub format straight from the site and opening it with Lucifox (ePub reader extension for Firefox) gave me a warning about a non-standard ePub, and a badly formatted table of contents (all chapters appeared as "chapter <number>" on the TOC).
PS: The FanFicFare plugin is available from the "Plugins" option in Calibre. The link goes to the source code/command-line version.
6319275
Yeah I know, as I said I dissasembled the epub and found they have no chapter table, but its only this story and a couple more I have found around, im just going to wait until I get home and rebuild it with Sigil, but ill check the programs, maybe that one will be able to get me the epubs with the covers as before lol.
They removed that a few months ago and never brought it back.
Thanks a lot for the info.
Edit: omg works like a freaking dream, thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Neat.
Looks like it.
We'll see how things play out, won't we.
I REALLY doubt they'll be at each other's throats.
This amuses me.
Twilight, you'd have to be the best liar in the world and THEN some to get anything past Celestia, and you know it, besides, I doubt she'd mind if you were relaxing for once.
Don't even joke about that, Twilight sounds like she's about to go Lesson Zero on us again.
Which kind?
I'm surprise you geniuses don't have a game of chess laying around. And yeah, a golem would just end badly.
She's got a point.
I'd take her up on the offer, Celestia's a busy pony usually, and it's not every day you get to playa board game with the ruler of a country/your teacher/mother-figure.
You're going to make her go nuts at some point at this rate, you know that?
I like Celestia, she's very fun to read when well written, either when involved in shenanigans, or simply being nice.
Probably a good idea, yes.
I suspect we're about to find out.
Sounds like your kinda town, why not just stay there? Nopony seems to ahve any problems with you, you could probably make a lot of money if you do well.
Fair enough. You do have a very nice cape though.
You're popylar.
Of course.
Hehe, I love Trixie's ego, it's jus so entertaining.
As expected, Trixie is having a blast.
Oooh...
This should prove interesting.
Most impressive Trixie, most impressive.
Sweating eh? OK, this is a more complex spell then.
All right Trixie! *applauds*
Ouch!
Hm, interesting. Maybe it's a strategy, they're tryign to lure you into a false sense of security and when they do turn the tables, it'll make it all the more fun. For them anyway.
That's got to turn.
Whatever you say.
On the contrary, a LOT of wrong with your dancing.
Huh, interesting.
Well, one is better than none.
Try, The Magic Of Friendship.
Not too good on stage eh?
Daaaw...
Probably yes.
Nice trick Trixie.
Oh this is adorable.
Tell me you're not going to-
-Of course you are.
Corner. Now.
Is it wrong that I imagine Brain as a large white lab mouse with a huge head?
Huh.
And the Princess of the Sun no less. Which reminds me, When Magical Mystery Cure comes around, either Shining or Blueblood will become an alicorn. That'll be fun. Though before that, they'll have to deal with Discord, Chrysalis and the Changelings, and Sombra.
Twilight. You've being offered a meal by Celestia. WHY ARE YOU HESITATING FILLY?!
She's right. And it's funny because as the Princess of the Sun and Day, it literally IS her day.
Celestia is very proficient with the technique due to having probably used it many times when she was small and adorable. Plus, she really doesn't look her age.
You've failed 10 times before? You, may want a recipe book, just a thought, even if you've memorized the recipe, never get cocky with cooking.
I can imagine her juping up slightly in the air with a grin on her face, and it is ADORABLE.
If you call that cooking, YOU need the scrolls.
This can't end well. You, don't know how to cook, do you?
You, don't know how to cook, do you?
You worry me.
No.
Low blow.
Sweetie Belle? I take it back. I found someone even WORSE at cooking than you. Somehow.
I can see it on her tombstone "Here lies Sunset Shimmer. Died from pony princess pastry poisoning."
GET IN THE FREAKING CORNER!
Wow.
That's a CAKE?
Obviously not.
I'll get your grave ready.
Wow.
I'm surprised she's so easily duped.
I REALLY doubt it.
Sunset. Princess Celestia is several thousand years old, she's probably had to deal with worse than being told her cooking needs a lot of improvement.
Because Celestia is like a mother to her.
Hm.
Oh this is going to be hilarious!
Oh my god this IS hilarious!
Are you doing Moondancer or Pinkie?
Knowing Moonie, I doubt she'd mind a thresome between the three of us.
GAH! Pinkie! What have I told you about giving me a heart attack!
Woops, sorry!
That's a new one.
It does sound awesome.
I suppose so, yes.
Agreed. That's a very nice thing to say Sunset. Under your snarky sour exterior, you are a good pony.
If that's the case, then you'd probably relish criticizing her, metaphorically ripping her cake apart.
Oh really?
Exactly what I said. For all her having dabbled in dark magic long ago, and in necromancy NOT so long ago, Sunset is fundamentally a good pony.
I suspect then, that you should tell her the truth, she'd appreciate it.
Not something you read every day.
Freaking love Sunset.
Ouch.
Who, moi? I suppose I am, yes.
In all bluntness? No.
I'm sure she appreciates you being honest with her.
Fair enough, I suppose.
Tia, you need to work on your jokes. A lot.
There's a spell for that?
Yes...
Err... Well, Celestia is often mockingly referred to in fanfics as Sunbutt, so, why not?
If they're game, why not?
Poor Celestia.
I can think of a few things.
Fair enough.
Duly noted.
Wonder if this'll be brought up again at some point?
Ouch, poor Celestia. She just wanted friends and then that happened. I really want to go give her a big hug now.
The fact they actually meant it makes it even better.
Are we sure that Celestia's little song about how to bake a cake isn't really her sneaking clues to Twily and Sunny on how to build a totes non-malicious intelligent golem? Because honestly, that sounds a lot more likely than her thinking that's how to bake a cake.
On the other hand, if she can't bake a cake to save a filly's life, I suppose that's a good thing. Otherwise, she would be like stereotypical Cakelestia and get to the point that Sunbutt would be more a pejorative than a cute nickname. Perhaps she should have gone as Sunny Skies and then tried to form the Sunbutts united.
I hope Trixie continues to embarrass Luna in a good way. Moonbutts forever!
Celly-sama is a Weird Al fan? That's awesome.
Celestia, you're scaring me.
: Why, whatever have I done?
Be a troll.
D'aww, Celestia was so happy to be using the kitchen, and then it went so bad