Somber Sky is an orphan runaway who braves the streets of Evergree City in order to lookout for, and care for his younger sister. One day somber was caught stealing apples so that he and his sister could eat. The stallion that caught him went to the castle and set in motion events that changed the lives of Somber and his sister forever.
Note: I am still rather inexperienced, so if you guys notice anything that needs fixed hollar at me.
Bit odd that Luna uses the "royal we" but still calls children kids, but other than that it's an excellent little opening.
Good work!
5396661
I struggled alot with Luna's dialogue. I originally planned on having her use the royal canterlot voice, but I was not a fan of how it was turning out.
5400157
Yeah, shush you. I am aware that I was sabotaging your reputation as a half decent editor. Just be thankful you don't edit my comments.
Also its 2am, so yeah the above might not make sense...
5400195
5400195 It's ready to repost from the gdocs
5400243
Tis fixed now,