• Member Since 25th Nov, 2014
  • offline last seen Aug 19th, 2018

BronyGuardian200


Basically I'm the Bronyguardian on YouTube. https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCVcDAosby0hb_nUG_uPqunA. I love Ponies so deal with it.

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You are accepted into the Wonderbolts. Something might happen that you never expected.

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 1 )

Concept is solid, human world where the Wonderbolts are races rather than Blue Angels. The story could still use a lot more context the 1000 word mark should be a minimum for a chapter or a quick one shot, not for a well thought out multi-pronged story. Don't be afraid to elaborate a little bit. For example; who are these bullies, why do they have a problem with you, what makes it so satisfying to outperform them in the end? These kinds of question should take paragraphs if not chapters to explain, that way your readers can become invested in the story and find out why they relate to the protagonist. This will allow your readers to experience the emotions you want them to rather than simply be told what is happening as the story progresses.

Don't quit though I think you're getting better. :twilightsmile:

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