Accepted Into The Wonderbolts

by BronyGuardian200

Epilogue

As you stood in the locker room, you smiled but you couldn't stop smiling. You grabbed your helmet from your locker and slowly closed it. You walked outside and got into your new car. It had a Wonderbolt logo on it. You looked at the car and beamed with a squee sound. You started the car and felt it vibrate around you. You looked at the roaring crowd. You saw something that ruined your day. It was the the 3 bullies from last night. They were sitting up front. Your frown faded and smirked replaced it. The light when from red to yellow. Yellow to green. Your car lurched forward and your back hit the seat. You saw the bullies and prepared to activate your move. You sped by them and tiny bits of asphalt blew into the 3 bullies' faces. For the rest of the race, you were in 1st place. You felt so alive...

Comments

[ShadowBlitz]

Concept is solid, human world where the Wonderbolts are races rather than Blue Angels. The story could still use a lot more context the 1000 word mark should be a minimum for a chapter or a quick one shot, not for a well thought out multi-pronged story. Don't be afraid to elaborate a little bit. For example; who are these bullies, why do they have a problem with you, what makes it so satisfying to outperform them in the end? These kinds of question should take paragraphs if not chapters to explain, that way your readers can become invested in the story and find out why they relate to the protagonist. This will allow your readers to experience the emotions you want them to rather than simply be told what is happening as the story progresses.

Don't quit though I think you're getting better.