The Answers
Destiny. What is it? Can ponies predict destiny? Does it even exist? And if it does, do I have free will?
For the past two weeks, that was all Fleetfoot ever thought of during the long, cold nights. The phrasing varied from night to night, but the theme was the same. As she reclined on her soft bed and let her body sink into the plush cushions, the material loosening her muscles, she blankly stared at the ceiling of her bedroom. She'd only blink a few times, but other than that, everything about her face, and even her general posture, was static. The only sound that echoed in the room was that of the clock to her left.
Tick tock! Tick tock! Tick tock!
Fleetfoot counted each second that went by, but her room was still shrouded in the night's darkness as it had been for the past hour or so. She turned to her clock, the time reading 2:41 AM, and let out a sigh. Rolling back to where she was, Fleetfoot gazed at the ceiling once more and let her mind flow without constraint.
"Magic controls everything," Fleetfoot told herself in a monotone voice. "Why does it control everything? Was all that training I did for nothing?" She sighed once more. "All this time I put in being the best, did destiny decide that I'd never be the best? If not me, then who is?" She turned to her right and peered out of her window, a few twinkling stars outside visible. The brightest of these formed a constellation in the image of a swallow, which drew her eyes towards it. Something about that constellation spoke to her heart, but it was in a foreign language as far as she knew. Nothing about her consciousness changed. "Who is the best? It's probably that hotshot Rainbow Dash, so would that mean magic is the secret to her amazing abilities?"
A realization sparked in Fleetfoot's mind uninvited. Somebody, a griffon with a sharp beak and an attitude that made her meek by comparison, told her that Rainbow Dash either napped in trees or joked around with one of her close friends a lot. Lazy was the word she used. Was that true? If it was, then it would mean that maybe there was no incentive to train anymore. She couldn't get better, nor could she get worse. She'd just be Fleetfoot. Destined to be the fourth, maybe fifth, or perhaps sixth best flier. Feeling a wave of melancholy constrict her soul, Fleetfoot's eyes drooped. Everything inside of her felt empty. Something was missing that was once there, something that made her smile.
"It's not like I should care anymore," Fleetfoot continued. "Was my joy for flying meaningless? Is my special talent something that any pegasus can do, just a little bit faster and nimbler than usual? If it is, it's not really a special talent. It's just some talent." She let out a yawn and stretched her forelegs before wrapping her blanket tighter than before as though she slept in a cocoon. "I wish I had somepony to share this with." Her heart ached and her eyes teared up a little, but were cleansed of them after she wiped her eyes. "Nopony would care about me. I'm just some braggart. Why would anypony like me." She closed her eyes. "I just, I just want somepony to know how I'm feeling. Maybe I can find someone to talk to tomorrow." Seconds went by, and Fleetfoot let out an elongated yawn. She drifted off into a deep sleep.
Fleetfoot opened her eyes and blinked a few times. The world around her was a haze for a moment, but something else felt off. She waved her forelegs around a bit. She could sense they were there and noticed her hooves rush by, so why did the rest of her body not feel anything at all? Her vision regained clarity, and before her was a sight that made her jaw drop.
Surrounding her in all directions were a plethora of stars, all of them twinkling like fireflies in the dark blue sky. A colorful aurora danced across the sky, its motions visible for some reason, and made its way towards Fleetfoot. Unable to utter a single syllable from her gaping mouth and wide-eyed expression, Fleetfoot's body didn't budge an inch as the aurora wrapped around her like a python. As the aurora kept going around her, climbing up from her hooves to her head, she felt a strange warmness envelop her. As the aurora continued wrapping her, she didn't even feel constricted or squeezed by it.
It just felt nice.
But why is this happening?
"Fleetfoot," a deep voice echoed. The aurora fled like a frightened bunny and Fleetfoot swiveled her head from left to right. The warm sensation disappeared and all that was around her were the shining stars from before. She felt a gentle tap on her shoulder. Shuddering for a moment, Fleetfoot turned around and standing before her, somehow, was a dark blue alicorn with a spatial-like mane and a soft smile. As she stared at the alicorn, something about her presence felt more real than everything else around her.
"P-Princess Luna?" Fleetfoot asked in an astonished tone as she felt a shortness of breath. "What are you doing here? Where am I?"
"Please relax," said Luna. "Just let your body drift back down and I'll explain everything."
"Drift back down?" Fleetfoot cocked her head. "There's no gravity here. I'm just floating. I mean, I could fly if I put my heart into it, but what you're suggesting sounds like I can land."
Luna giggled. "I think some of Spitfire's logic rubbed onto you."
Fleetfoot stared at Luna with a blank face. "Huh?"
"It's nothing." Luna grinned and trotted closer to Fleetfoot. "I'm just thinking out loud."
"Um, okay. So how do I land?"
Luna gazed into Fleetfoot's eyes before raising her hoof and tapping nothing. The metallic banging made Fleetfoot's eyebrows jump up. "Just think about it. Let your unconsciousness tell you that it's possible. I know you can do it."
Fleetfoot shrugged and closed her eyes. Was there gravity where she was? There had to be, otherwise everything, from buildings to fellow ponies and everything in between, would be floating with her, and it looks like Luna is standing on solid ground, even if that ground might as well be nothing.
That's it. There had to be gravity. But still, why was she—
Fleetfoot felt the weight of the world pile onto her as she fell a short distance to the invisible ground, the thump and her grunt echoing around the area. She rose up to Luna and extended her hoof towards her. Grabbing it, Fleetfoot shook her head for a moment and rubbed her aching flank.
"That hurt more than I was expecting," Fleetfoot said with a chuckle. "How did that happen?"
"You know why," said Luna, smirking.
Fleetfoot rubbed her muzzle, everything that happened from when she found herself drifting in this area to now flowing in her head. It was all surreal, that much was certain. Perhaps too surreal.
Surreal.
That's it!
Fleetfoot's eyes lit up and her lips curled into a smile. "This is a dream!" she shouted at the top of her lungs. "That's why none of this makes sense!"
Luna nodded. "Correct, my little pony."
Fleetfoot leaned slightly closer to Luna, her mind beckoning for more information. "So that must also be why you were able to find me."
"That's true as well."
Fleetfoot's face beamed and she nodded. "Ah, I think I'm starting to piece this together. So you're visiting my dreams for a particular reason." Luna bobbed her head. "So what brings you, well, here?"
Letting out a chuckle, Luna trotted closer to Fleetfoot with a smile on her face. "I thought you knew that as well. Remember what you said to yourself before you fell asleep?"
Fleetfoot shifted her eyes around before staring back at Luna. Her shoulders sagged and she let out a defeated sigh. "I guess I have to come clean. I think I'm doomed to be the same forever. I'll never become a better flyer, nor will I become a better pony. I'll just be Fleetfoot, and it's because destiny says so."
Luna approached Fleetfoot and wrapped her forelegs around her, the feeling much like that of a warm, silk scarf. "I know how scary it must be for you with all of these incidents that have recently happened. Believe me, I'm a bit scared, too."
Fleetfoot's eyes widened. "Huh? You're scared? But you're an alicorn."
"Even alicorns get scared about the future." Luna let go of Fleetfoot and looked down. "Celestia and I know this very well, but that's a tale for another day." Luna took a deep breath and spread her wings. "Are you ready?"
Fleetfoot stepped back and jumped up a little. "Ready? But what are we doing? Shouldn't I know what to expect first?"
"My apologies." Luna cleared her throat. "I am going to show you a vision that will help you."
"A vision?" Fleetfoot cocked her head and raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry, but wouldn't it be easier for you just to tell me?"
"But you wouldn't remember if I just told you. Seeing it play out before your eyes will better ingrain it inside your consciousness."
Fleetfoot froze in place. While just hearing it would be easy, perhaps there was some value in actually seeing it instead. This was Princess Luna telling her that, and she probably had a lot of experience when it came to these things. Maybe taking the time to see it was the way to go, but what would she see? Would it be something heartwarming? Or would it be something horrifying? The uncertainty brought a chill down Fleetfoot's spine and tightened her chest, but if she was ever going to get her answers, she needed to be brave. She took a deep breath and looked up at Luna.
"Okay," said Fleetfoot in a calm tone. "I'm ready."
Luna's horn radiated a light blue aura and the world around her and Fleetfoot shone. "Close your eyes and relax," Luna said, her serene voice echoing into Fleetfoot's ears.
Fleetfoot closed her eyes shut as instructed. Her body felt weightless once more. She could no longer sense her limbs, the sense of unconsciousness enveloping her more by the second. Everything fell silent. The blackness of her eyes being closed was replaced by a hypnotizing swirl of colors. Red, green, blue, and yellow all mixed together in a constant pirouette. The eerie silence was replaced by the thumping of her heart and her cold, deep breaths as her body felt as though it would contort into a tight spring. A wave of nausea entered her chest and disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.
Then, everything ceased, and her senses all returned to her.
"You can open your eyes now," Luna said.
Fleetfoot opened her eyes. The world was still a slight blur, but everything cleared up after a second. A dizzy sensation that was tempting her to topple over coursed through her, but she remained upright through sheer willpower. Rubbing her eyes and taking a deep breath, Fleetfoot's head swung around and gazed at the various trinkets and objects that made up wherever she was. There was a smooth, wooden carving of a horse's head sitting on a table, its texture so fine to where Fleetfoot could imagine its fine texture against her hooves. Making up much of the perimeter was a bookshelf with a number of books, big and small, crammed inside in an orderly fashion all organized by title. A plush, red couch rested next to the table with the carving.
As Fleetfoot looked around with shimmering eyes and a faint smile, she couldn't help but think of the place as homely. There was something about the scent in the air and the mood the place provoked that filled her with a sense of nostalgia, but for some reason also provided a sense of melancholy. She had never been to this place before, so why did her heart react in such a way? Was it related to the dream she was in? Or was it something more?
"You seem curious about this place," Luna said as a matter of fact.
"I am," Fleetfoot replied. "Where are we?"
"We are at a place called Golden Oaks Library. This library in the shape of a tall tree was converted into a home not too long ago, but sadly the foundation was destroyed."
"Destroyed?" Fleetfoot winced, reflecting a feeling of shock on her face and she trotted up to Luna. "Was the pony who lived there unhurt?"
"She's okay."
Fleetfoot let out a sigh of relief. "That's good to hear. Anyway, who used to live here?"
Luna winked and formed a confident grin. "You're about to find out."
Knock! Knock! Knock!
"In a minute!" a voice shouted from upstairs.
Fleetfoot turned to Luna. "Is that the pony who lives here?" she asked.
"It is," Luna said as she nodded. "Focus on the conversation and everything around it for now."
Shifting her gaze to the stairs, Fleetfoot noticed a silhouette of a pony trotting down. Not a second later, a lavender alicorn with a bright smile on her face was followed by a small, purple and green dragon. Fleetfoot's jaw dropped and her heart skipped a beat. The Princess Twilight Sparkle lived there? How could she have not known that?
"You know Princess Twilight?" Luna inquired.
Fleetfoot bobbed her head. "Sort of, but Spitfire admires her a lot. She told me about how they finally met face-to-face in a pub and how she helped her."
"She does have a knack for helping ponies." Luna tapped Fleetfoot's shoulder and pointed at the front door. "Anyway, let's get back to why we're here."
"Gotcha."
Twilight made her way to the front door and looked through the peephole in the center. Smiling and nodding, her horn glowed a bright purple and the door swung open.
"Hey there, Twi," a familiar voice said. Fleetfoot's throat tightened on cue.
"Hi, Rainbow Dash," Twilight replied. She and the small dragon stepped out of the way to make room for the cyan pegasus, who was hovering above the ground and flapping her wings. "What brings you here?"
"Something has been bothering me lately, and I wanted to talk to you about it."
Fleetfoot's face turned pale and she clenched her teeth. This had to be after she mistreated Rainbow Dash and Soarin that one time. A wave of embarrassment consumed her and her face grimaced into a glum frown. Her shoulders sagged and her body drooped, the negativity crushing her.
"Fleetfoot, it's going to be okay," said Luna as she patted her on the back. Fleetfoot glanced over to Luna, who had a warm, welcoming smile adorning her face.
"Sorry," Fleetfoot said as she turned back to Twilight and Rainbow. "It's just, well, I wish that never happened." Fleetfoot let out a sigh. "I was just way too concerned about winning that day to where I forgot what was important."
Luna didn't say a word and merely replied with a wink. Fleetfoot raised an eyebrow and cocked her head in response. Did Luna know something she didn't? If so, what did it have to do with the incident she had with Rainbow and Soarin? Her mind swirled around in a vortex, trying to decipher Luna's wink, but nothing came up. She blinked a few times and focused her attention back on the conversation between Twilight and Dash, who were now seated on the couch with cups of coffee in front of them, the scent wafting into her nostrils and soothing her spirits.
"Thank you very much, Spike," Twilight said to the small dragon.
"Not a problem," said Spike, bowing to Twilight with a wide grin. "May I be excused now?"
"Of course." Twilight squinted at Spike and leaned closer to him. "Just be careful."
Spike pounded his chest with pride. "You can count on me! Careful is my middle name!" He ran upstairs with a skip in his step and just like that, he was out of sight. Fleetfoot scratched her head as she stared at Spike making his way to the second floor. She couldn't shake this feeling that he'd make a scene at a big event one day, but her mind failed to uncover a reason as to why. Maybe it was a sixth sense or something like that. Smirking ever so slightly, Fleetfoot returned her attention to Twilight and Rainbow, her ears focused on the pair.
"What's on your mind, Rainbow Dash?" Twilight asked. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
"You know how I passed the exam to make the Wonderbolts Reserves, right?" Twilight nodded in confirmation. "See, when I was leaving the academy, I bumped into Spitfire and Soarin."
Twilight tilted her head. "I don't see anything strange about that. Did something happen?"
"Nothing did, but there was something off about the mood."
Twilight scratched her muzzle. "The mood?"
"Remember that incident at the tryouts not too long ago? Well, it looks like Soarin has somehow already forgiven Spitfire."
"Um, how is that weird?"
"It hasn't been that long." Rainbow leaned closer to Twilight and gazed into her eyes. "Soarin acted as though nothing had happened, but Spitfire still remembered. Whenever Soarin was around while she was addressing other ponies, something about her demeanor told me she was nervous."
"Nervous?"
"She didn't stutter or anything like that, but something about how she acted just felt off when Soarin was next to her." Rainbow sighed. "I wanted to ask her if she was okay, but I couldn't find her afterwards. We saw each other again, but where we met just wasn't the place to bring up something like that."
Twilight patted Rainbow's shoulder and smiled. "Rainbow Dash, maybe Spitfire still feels guilty about what happened. If you see her again and the time and place are appropriate, I'd talk to her about what's going on. Just play it nice and things should work out from there."
"Thanks, Twi." Rainbow forced a smile. "Though there is something else about the Wonderbolts that I want to bring up."
"What would that be?"
Rainbow's shoulders drooped. "It's, well, I kind of feel bad for them."
Fleetfoot's jaw dropped and a jolt ran through her body. Did Rainbow Dash say that she felt bad for the Wonderbolts? What was she talking about? Did she think they were losers? Or was it something else? Whatever it may be, Fleetfoot's heart raced and she shuffled her hooves closer to the pair, leaning towards them and pointing her ears to pick up every last peep. A cold sweat ran down her face. She bit her lip. What was Rainbow Dash going to say?
Twilight raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"When I look at the Wonderbolts, all of them, I see a group of talented ponies that try to do the best they can. All of them are actually kindhearted ponies once you get to know them. Spitfire is surprisingly humble about her position, even during intense competitions, and Fleetfoot has a compassionate side of her when she isn't racing or competing. They work best as a flight team and they have plenty of successes in rescues and missions as well." Rainbow's lips curled into a frown and she let out a melancholic sigh. Fleetfoot, however, was completely static, her eyes wide open. "It's just, it's just whenever we're together, if the Wonderbolts are involved, they seem to get tons of bad luck."
Fleetfoot sighed and looked down for a moment. Rainbow Dash did have a point if the team's recent history was anything to go by. When Rainbow and her friends weren't in the area, everything went perfectly. But if Rainbow was with one of her friends, something was bound to go wrong. Was it merely a coincidence? Fleetfoot nodded unconsciously. It had to be a coincidence, as even destiny couldn't be that cruel, right? Fleetfoot gazed back towards Twilight and Rainbow.
Twilight rubbed the top of her head and nodded. "I see what you mean."
"It's a shame. It really is. I know it sounds a little weird, but I was hoping that some of you would become fans as well. It would give us something a little more in common."
Twilight smirked ever so slightly and patted Rainbow's hoof. "Rainbow Dash, I may not be as big of a fan as you are, but I do like them as well. How else do you think I was able to get so many note cards about their history so quickly?"
"Uh, books? You are the genius of the group."
Twilight giggled and blushed. "Okay, maybe I used one or two books, but I had memorized some of the other information before. I do wish I could go to one of their shows, but the life of a faithful student or a princess is a busy one, so I haven't had the time."
Rainbow's jaw dropped and she jumped up. "Seriously? Why didn't you tell me this before?"
"You never really brought it up." Twilight cleared her throat. "Well, you did mention the Wonderbolts, but not whether any of us were fans as well. But I never mentioned that I liked them as well, so I guess we learned something about each other today. Anyway, I'm sorry for not bringing it up before."
"No need to apologize, Twi." Rainbow smiled and sat straight once again. "I was just surprised, that's all."
"Thanks for understanding." Twilight froze for a second. "Wait, I have one last question. Are you still upset with them after the problem at the tryouts?"
"Not anymore. Spitfire told me it was a huge misunderstanding and that she'll try to communicate with her team better for the future. Soarin also confirmed Spitfire's explanation and he's trying to do the same thing. I haven't ran into Fleetfoot yet, but I have a hunch that she isn't a bad pony as well. I can tell by looking into their eyes that the whole group means well and they all look out for each other. All ponies, even awesome ponies like myself, make mistakes from time to time. You do remember the Mare-Do-Well incident, right?"
"How could I forget about that?" Twilight rubbed her neck and blushed. "I went a little overboard there the more I think about it."
"At least you got your point across and I changed for the better." Rainbow's lips formed a smirk. "It wasn't your best idea, but it worked."
Fleetfoot felt a ticklish sensation course through her veins. She blinked a few times and her body shook. Her eyes closed gently and upon opening them up again, the unusual feeling dissipated and the spatial scene from before danced around her with bright colors and twinkling stars.
Shuddering, Fleetfoot swiveled her head from left to right. Was that an illusion? Did that actually happen? Or was it just symbolic? All she knew at the moment was that it was a dream of Luna's creation, and the rest was nigh impossible to decipher.
"That is what I wanted to show you," Luna said with a mild, but pleasant smile as she appeared in front of Fleetfoot. "Now tell me, what did you learn?"
Fleetfoot shrugged. "What I learned?"
Luna nodded. "Yes, what you learned." She tapped her hoof on the invisible ground and closed her eyes for a moment. "Actually, just tell me what you saw and heard. That will make things easier."
Fleetfoot remained static, only blinking from time to time. The conversation looped in her mind as each word and each action replayed in her mind. It was like trying to memorize a script for a play. The sights and scents of Golden Oaks Library returned to her, from the carving to the aroma of the coffee. "Well, Rainbow Dash talked about how Spitfire was doing and that Soarin forgave her. She then mentioned how she wished her friends also became fans so that they'd have more in common."
Luna smiled and bobbed her head. "There's more to it than just that. What else did they say?"
"Well, um, Rainbow Dash felt bad for the Wonderbolts. She, um, she said that we had some cases of bad luck and that our conflict was more of a misunderstanding." Fleetfoot placed her hoof on her heart. "That misunderstanding part seems to be true. I recall Spitfire wanting to check up on Soarin, but we kept getting too caught up in the tryouts. We actually never had bad intentions. Spitfire and I cared about Soarin and didn't want him to get hurt even more. We just failed to reflect that and our tone and behavior wasn't clear. I'm not a bad pony. I make mistakes, just like everypony does." Fleetfoot's heart warmed, a wave of ecstasy enveloping her. Her lips curled into a smile, which grew wider and wider.
"That's what I was hoping you'd say."
"I-I get it now!" Fleetfoot trotted up to Luna with a skip in her step. She knelt down and looked up to Luna, her vision blurry and a small stream of joyful tears cascading down her cheeks. "Thank you so much, Princess Luna!"
"You're welcome, Fleetfoot." Tears dripped down Luna's cheeks as her smile widened. She patted Fleetfoot on the back. "I'm proud of you, but there is one last thing that I would like you to do. I think it will help a lot."
Fleetfoot raised an eyebrow. "What is it?"
"Go to Ponyville Clock Tower as soon as you wake up." Fleetfoot bobbed her head. "I want you to make your way to the top floor and wait there. Somepony who knows you well will be there. I want you to talk with this pony."
Fleetfoot stood up and stretched her wings. "Who is this pony?"
Luna winked. "You'll see. Anyway, before I wake you up, do you know where Ponyville Clock Tower is?"
"I do. I've been to Ponyville before."
"That's good to hear. Goodbye, Fleetfoot. I wish you have a wonderful future."
"Goodbye, Princess Luna."
Fleetfoot opened her eyes, still full of sleep, and stretched her forelegs. She was back in the confines of her bedroom, which was as dark and dreary as ever. She rolled towards the clock on the desk by her bed, the time reading 5:30 AM. Was her dream that long? And why did it all feel so vivid and real? She could recall the scent of the coffee, her anxiety consuming her body during the tenser portions of the dream, and the memorable sights of the late Golden Oaks Library. It was like she visited it in its old glory long after it had turned to splinters and ashes.
"Well, I guess I better get going," Fleetfoot told herself. She jumped out of her bed, her limbs still stiff from the long hours of sleep she had, and made her way downstairs to the living room. Making a beeline to the front door, she opened it wide, the outside world just bright enough to see. A warm breeze blew across her face, her sleek mane gracefully flowing as a result. Taking slow steps outside of her grandiose abode, the architecture a typical Classical-Cloudsdale style, she closed the front door. She locked the door, a click ringing in her ears. Flapping her wings a bit, Fleetfoot took to the skies, shearing the wind as she made her way to Ponyville.
As she flew, Fleetfoot couldn't help herself from smiling just a little bit. The air brushing against her face, the freedom the skies provided her, and the occasional maneuver she did to please herself warmed her heart. Flying was still fun after all. It made her face beam with enthusiasm and her eyes glow. Maybe her special talent wasn't worthless. If flying was what made her happy, then perhaps that was what mattered the most.
But there was still a kernel inside of her heart trying to tell her that she was nothing in the grand scheme of things. Her mind was locked in a civil war between joy and emptiness. Fleetfoot glanced down, noticing Ponyville below and a small number of civilians trotting around, going wherever they needed to be. She quickly looked back ahead and saw the clock tower off to the side of town, looking rather pathetic to the Crystal Castle that dominated the skyline.
"Top floor," Fleetfoot reminded herself.
With a quick change in direction, she ascended down to the top floor of the clock tower, her rate of speed lessening more and more until she landed on the tiled floors. The floor was rather cold, the chill running up her legs and along her spine. Chattering her teeth for a second, Fleetfoot sat down against the back wall and curled up, shivering on occasion. Either the pony showed up and the conversation was quick or the sun rose up and made the world warm and cozy once more. Fleetfoot hoped it would be one or the other.
Time passed as seconds became minutes, but neither showed up. Fleetfoot blinked a few times and yawned. She wanted to do something to pass the time, but what if the pony arrived just as she left? Her body shook more, her breath producing a visible white mist as she exhaled. The freezing temperatures had become unbearable. This needed to happen right now.
"Maybe I should just head back home," Fleetfoot said to herself, her eyes shimmering. "This is hopeless."
"It's not hopeless," a familiar voice said.
Fleetfoot's eyebrows shot up and she turned to the source of the noise. Standing before her with a long, dark blue scarf was a cyan pegasus mare with a rainbow mane. A warm smile adorned her face, which somehow warmed Fleetfoot herself, but why such a feeling produced this effect eluded her.
"R-Rainbow Dash? You're the pony I'm supposed to meet?" Fleetfoot asked in a rapid pace.
"I heard a weird voice in my head telling me to go here and talk to somepony," Rainbow answered. "I'm guessing you're the one I'm supposed to talk to." Rainbow trotted towards Fleetfoot and sat next to her. Unfurling her scarf, Rainbow wrapped some of it around Fleetfoot and the pair were huddled together, bound by the same scarf. "You're chilly. I don't know if this will help a lot, but you could use some warmth."
Fleetfoot looked into Rainbow's eyes and smirked slightly. "Thank you, Rainbow Dash."
"No problem. I wouldn't let anypony down, especially awesome ponies like you."
Fleetfoot's eyes widened and her jaw dropped. A strange feeling rushed through her head as she remained static. Did Rainbow Dash just call her awesome? "Do you really think that? Even after all I've done?"
"Of course I do." Rainbow nodded and gazed into Fleetfoot's eyes. "I don't tell many ponies this, but I want to tell you a story that changed my life forever."
"What happened?"
"I had a long streak of being a hero in Ponyville, and it kind of got to my head. I started acting a little too arrogantly, and my friends felt that I went a little too far with the bragging."
"You were a braggart?"
Rainbow sighed. "I was. Anyway, what happened next was that my friends roped me into a wicked prank where they dressed up as a figure called Mare-Do-Well and made me feel how they felt. It wasn't exactly our proudest moment and both my friends and I regret what we did that day. However, we all learned a lesson from it, and now I'm not as brash as I was back then. It made me a better pony."
Fleetfoot bobbed her head. "I think I understand. Correct me if I'm wrong, but perhaps I can look back at the incident we had at Rainbow Falls and I can use that as a reminder to not go too far and move towards becoming a better pony."
"Exactly. It might not happen right away, but I look at you and know you can become a more awesome pony than ever. You just need to realize that we all make mistakes and act in ways we shouldn't have at times, but we can learn from them and become even stronger."
"That's what I learned in the dream that sent me here."
Rainbow cocked her head. "Dream?"
Fleetfoot chuckled a little and smiled. "It's a long story."
"So, anything else you want to ask?"
Fleetfoot paused for a moment. There was that griffon that told her the rumor about Rainbow, but connected to it was something much larger, magic. "I have to ask, because magic controls everything, will I ever become a better flyer?"
Rainbow closed her eyes for a moment. She opened them up again and shrugged. "I wish I knew. I want to improve my flying skills as well, but because magic relates to flying, I don't know if I will. It scares me as well."
"I see." Fleetfoot let out a sigh. "I wish that incident with what's-his-face never happened. Just thinking about it frightens me, not to mention how it changed the lives of millions of ponies."
"I know what you mean. Nothing has been the same since then. Ponies, griffons, buffalo, even changelings were impacted."
Griffons. Fleetfoot thought she might as well ask, but how should she phrase it? "Rainbow, do you know any griffons?"
"I do. Gilda is her name, and she has been rather bitter ever since we parted ways."
"Parted ways?"
"It's a long story. Anyway, she apparently keeps going on about how I'm lazy, and while that might be true on some days, I do work out a lot. It's tough to have someone, especially a former friend, slam on you like that."
"This Gilda must have been the one to tell me you were lazy. Why she did I don't know. Was she trying to get us to not accept you into the Wonderbolts?"
"Maybe."
"She's fighting a losing battle then, because you're too good of a flyer to pass down when the time comes."
Rainbow's eyes lit up and she leaned closer to Fleetfoot. "When will that be?"
"Complete a few more exercises and you'll make it into the main team in no time at all."
"Awesome!"
Fleetfoot and Rainbow turned towards the sky, which was now lit a bright orange. The glowing, yellow sun was slowly rising up into the sky. The birds began their melodic chirping, a concert that was music to Fleetfoot's ears. A flock of swallows took off and rose up into the sky. Down below, she could see more of Ponyville's citizens out and about, some entering the stores that had just opened, others galloping across the grasslands as they played with joyous expressions.
"Fleetfoot, you're a great friend," said Rainbow.
"Thanks. You too, Rainbow Dash," Fleetfoot replied.
"Say, do you want to get some ice cream later today? You know, as friends?"
Fleetfoot nodded, her taste buds imagining the cold, delicious taste. "I'd love to. How about we stop by the academy afterwards and chat with the other Wonderbolts?"
Rainbow's eyes glowed and her face formed a beaming smile, her excitement palpable. "That sounds awesome!"
Fleetfoot formed a wide grin and gazed back towards the rising sun. Today, and the future that was before her, would be great. She knew this, and even if the road was bumpy, Rainbow Dash or her fellow Wonderbolts would be there to pick her up. Her heart warmed just thinking about it. The emptiness inside of her was filled with what was once missing. Fleetfoot found the answers she was looking for.
I have a purpose and I have friends who will support me. Thank you, everypony.
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- Manaphy · 1.2k words · 49 2 · 1.8k views
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The only thing I thought was really off was Luna calling Fleetfoot my little pony the whole time. I know Celestia does it, but I can't remember Luna doing it. Besides that I don't even know what you could be so worried about? I browsed about four fics tonight before reading this, and this was easily the best.
You shouldn't doubt yourself so much, you're really talented at writing compared to many other writers on this site. 
A fine fic is what you got here. I really liked the story-within-a-story method that you used during the dream sequence with Luna. Fleetfoot is a very distinct character here as she works through her problems. It was easy to see and understand where she was coming from. I find it interesting that Fleetfoot would start doubting herself because of Tirek and her own actions at the Games. She really saw her training as proof of her flight and speed than any innate magic she might have been born with. I wonder what her thoughts on it has to say about pegsai culture but I'm getting from the point.
Someone really needs to tell her that being Fleetfoot is okay and magic isn't all that there is.
And this story shows that process perfectly. Keep up the great work.
5372879 Thanks for commenting. I'm glad that you enjoyed reading it and I'll keep on writing.
What a sweet ending
Aww, I love it how Fleetfoot felt hopeless and down but at the end she realized that she has a purpose and a future
Stories like this just make me feel better after a rough week 
Really gave me hope 
5374692 Thank you. I'm glad that you enjoyed the story and that it cheered you up.
YES! This is NOT a Luna's a Prick fanfic. Thank you so much! I hate those! Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.
5378884 You're welcome. I haven't encountered many fics that portray Luna in a negative light, unless I'm not looking in the right places, but I'm glad that you liked how I used her character.
Also, while I think I did a good job with this story and consider it my best work at the moment, I don't think I'm talented enough to get a story of mine submitted to Equestria Daily. I'll need some more practice first, but the fact that you and many others enjoyed it shows that I am on the right track. Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
You don't have to answer if you don't want, but I'm curious as to whether you lost your nerve or decided you wanted to put some more work into it first, as far as Equestria Daily goes.
This whole cutie Mark Destiny thing is probably my favorite topic in MLP and just by the description you got my thoughts exactly! Good job dude.
5494449 Thank you! I'm glad that you enjoyed it!
This story was recently chosen for review by the School for New Reviewers. Though I read the story, and liked the premise; I neither liked nor disliked its execution. There were several places I felt it could be improved. You can find the review thread here which detail my, and other reviewers thoughts on the matter.
This review, brought to you as part of the School for New Reviewers practice program.
A little disclaimer before we start: the following review is worded to be fact when, really, it’s just my opinion. I don’t take myself to be fanfic gospel truth, and neither should you; I’d invite you to try and see the thoughts behind the reaction, like a reflection of your work. You’re free to do with it as you wish.
I’ll happily admit that I’m not your target audience - it took me some time to remember who Fleetfoot was, and the only brushing up I’ve done is checking the Wiki for plot involvement. You may want to take a larger pinch of salt than usual.
tl;dr: Theme of opening statement doesn’t quite match up with the proceeding development; Fleetfoot being a passive character in a story revolving around her pathos weakens the experience; paragraph traits being similar make the tone of the story taste plain.
Let’s talk about your opener.
Your opener does something remarkable in that it sets the tone and conflict up very clearly - I haven’t read a lot of fics with such upfront clarity. While it’s appreciated, the problem is that it’s clear in the same way a school essay is clear: you literally have Fleetfoot spill out, in verbal monologue, her problems. It’s very textbook-like, y’know, it’s effective at what it does, if that were its only goal.
Because of that, the whole thing feels kinda overwraught - “ah, I sound dramatic to let you know that this is what the story is about”, rather than “ah, I’ve got a conflict. This is a problem that I must solve”.
1) After mulling over this a while, I figured out why I couldn’t get myself to immerse: there’s an awfully heavy reliance on B.Y.O. (bring your own) investment.
Character-wise: this isn’t the deal-breaker, but still worth mentioning.
Like, are we supposed to care just because she’s sad? Or because she’s Fleetfoot?
So far the Fleetfoot you paint, as a character, is the same sad sack as every outcast teenage brony in those HiEs. What makes people different from each other is the sum of their experiences, and that needs to show. You’ve got to show us at least a glimpse of Fleetfoot’s pride, that hunger to achieve - for her being broken to feel like she’s been broken, and not that she’s been like that forever. Show us what should be in conjunction with what currently is - that way, we get a glimpse of what we’re rooting for.
Plot-wise: You raise a mildly interesting question given Fleetfoot’s canon story. It’s a pretty good catch, and believable that she’d ask the question. Unfortunately, it’s not interesting enough to hook. It may resonate with people who believe in that kinda thing. I’ll admit I’m not one of them, which could be why it just ended up falling flat for me.
Seemingly reaching a threshold, inadequacy, comparing to others - these are all potent themes. Yet they have no build-up, no fleshing out - you tell us she has this but all there is to show for it is her moaning. It’s just empty tags floating around.
We’ll come back to this too. For now, we’ll remain on your opening scene, before Luna comes to sweep her up.
2) Here’s the one thing that I will strongly insist you change. At the beginning, I had a serious problem with how drab everything was, and I blame it on:
I’m fairly sure that if you hadn’t used that, I’d be feeling in a better disposition for what followed.
You have one first impression, the splash of the colour of your breath on to a blank sheet, that you can’t change. Tone is what sets expectations and, equally vital, the mindset to handle the information you want to convey. Opening with your main character being bored and depressed leaves us feeling the same thing, or at least expecting drab and dreary things. So we put on our grey-tinted glasses and suddenly what could have been compelling conflict becomes weak flailing.
B-but that’s what the story is about!
Yes, but that’s not what your opener has to be.
We come back to the execution. Consider your conflict - Fleetfoot being unable to do jack against Tirek because Drain Magic. While how she feels about it, and the resolution thereof, is the theme of your story, your conflict gives you ample excitement to exploit.
Give me the nightmare flashback, the cold sweat, the falling feeling mixed with the dread of impeding death. Give me the fear and the visceral, not
because that just ain’t intriguing.
3) I suspect that, for some cases,the drab issue is as simple as paragraphing - your sentences, they mush together with vanilla scenery and end up like store-bought cupcake mix.
Perhaps if you let some sentences stand on their own...
You might have noticed a shift in your ability to process what you’ve just read. Doesn’t it seem like the suggestion has more weight? It’s an almost magical way that aesthetics can fine-tune how your reader perceives. One-sentence paragraphs are risky. Too many of them, the whole thing feels disjointed. But play with them right, and you’ve got a limited amount of sections that you can really grab the reader. Think of it like a revolver - you’ve got only six bullets in the barrel, but that’s six bullets that you’ve got.
I’d suggest that you give some of Fl.’s thoughts regarding her feelings their own paragraph. You wanna look at what I’ll call compounded paragraphs, because of the mixed types of sentences you’ve got in there:
This is one such example.
I mean, seriously, look at that - I understand the writing philosophy behind it. I practice it sometimes myself. But you want to show Fl. being huddled up, not your sentences. I’ll go as far to even say that it results in a very boring tempo - the reading experience isn’t “build the scene line by line in my head”, but more of “digest this multivitamin”.
This is what I mean by sentence traits being similar make the tone of the story taste plain. It’s okay to let a paragraph be action only, and another to be dialogue. You’re probably subscribed to the idea of no-talking-heads, which you’ve got pat-down, kinda - but see, there’s just Fl. here. You can afford to space it out a bit. Really breathe.
Make us feel that chill of the night. To hear nothing but her breathing. How awkward yet empty it is when it’s just her voice, slightly cracking, in the air. That kind of painful restless non-sleep.
5) And it’s a pity, because you do write good sentences:
When I was skimming through your work, these were the sentences that made me realize you know more instinctively than you realize, although they are a bit too melodramatic for my tastes (which, again, actually contributes to setup clarity). I strikethrough’d the parts that I felt you should reconsider, by the way - stare at it and ask if you really need to hammer the one point that hard. There are more like it, but this should give you a key to get started with.
6) Another thing I was thinking about is if you could have been more nuanced with the opener - less of outright telling us Fl. was feeling X, and more of the effects of it, and in doing so, allows us to piece together what she feels.
What do depressed people do that normal people don’t? You could replace some of that reflection of inner thoughts with a reflection of the day that passed, activities, portrayals that hint at instead of, well, say outright.
I’m going to devote this section for you to take a break. Go for a walk, or a drink of water. Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. Really, go.
You’re back? Good.
I think I’ve managed to put my thumb down on why it is I found your story hard to review. You do a lot of things the correct way: the balance of action to dialogue is good, your plot structure is reasonable, the core idea of it is believable and sound. You have little bits of scene that I personally like in my reading. You even strike me as the kind of author who’d study published material, and noticed certain patterns to utilize - because you do those aspects decently. In short, your technicals are fine.
However, you can do better by a long shot with the elements you’re playing with. It needs more... life to it, and I’m not talking about the opener any more. We’re getting to that now.
7) By the by: yet another reason for the review being difficult is because what follows after the opener was rather different from what your summary said.
I was expecting some sort of dream adventure and issues of free will and destiny... what I ended up getting was behind-the-scenes Rainbow and Twilight. As a result, my expectations were skewed, and these are kinda hard to wind back for objectivity and all. Not that I didn’t - it just took some time is all.
Look at that. You wrote that. That was what sold me into buying into your work. The implication that there’s something dangerous, something that Fl. might regret.
I’ll say it more clearly: your summary is downright tantalizing. I do Seattle’s Angels scouting. I literally flip through authors’ pages, glance at summaries, and hope for flashes in the pan, and this is one of those flashes.
I was also expecting something more nuanced, from the softer words “wonders” and “these thoughts swirl...” - which could be why the straight-played stuff put me off a bit.
But, well - the theme of opening statement doesn’t quite match up with the proceeding development. It moves from questions of destiny and free will to the EQ Games tryouts, which was more about being a decent friend/not being a crappy teammate.
Your lesson, the resolution, is about being a decent friend/not being a crappy teammate, and how everyone sometimes makes mistakes but it’s okay.
What on earth does this have to do with destiny and free will?
Recall also the part about potent themes. Feeling inadequate as a flyer, reaching a threshold - you revisit none of those. It’s mostly devoted to backstory closure for the EQ Games tryouts.
I think the question speaks for itself. I won’t bug you any more about it. The solution is also very simple - just rephrase your conflict and your summary. Take the source of your pathos (emotions) out of Tirek’s big dooey and put it into something to do with Soarin, or the rest of the Wonderbolts.
8) Here’s the issue with your dialogue: everyone sounds the same. RD sounds like Twilight sounds like Luna sounds like Fl. There’s little of Rainbow’s fighting against her pride to be vulnerable, little too of Fl.’s probably-similar pride. I’m no good with Luna’s voice, and I think Twilight’s is fine, but they’re all very similar - if you reversed the roles but kept the characters they’d end up saying the same things the same way.
Fl. goes through some very basic apprehension-overdrived relief (bursting into tears for an issue (not caring about Soarin) that she actually already came to peace with in the episode itself?), and has no self-initiated actions, only reactions. Fleetfoot being a passive character in a story revolving around her pathos weakens the experience.
For this, there’s nothing but to reassess your dialogue and how X says Y. Deciding where you want to take your conflict - whether it be Tirek-based or the EQ Games tryouts - will determine the direction of your rewriting, with neither being lighter than the other.
We’re more or less at the end. It’s been awfully lengthy - thank you for making it this far - a lot of it is trying to quantify why I felt what I felt, and justifying it with coherent albeit awkwardly-flowing arguments.
I’m sorry, also, if you felt crushed at any point. I make little effort to be polite. Being polite gets in the way of caring, for me - you are a writer who’s picked up some good tools and a pretty novel angle, but in other areas you are lacking. And that’s why I will fluster about and emphasize my words and write reviews half as long as the work itself - while I might not care about Fl., I care about how she was executed, and the author who’s doing the execution.
Don’t tell me your stories are no good. I’ve only read one. And that, hopefully, will not be the last. Don’t bother trying to apply all of this, it’ll just get in the way of your writing.
But - I hope - you can mull over the points I’m making, from the angle I stand, and find something helpful to aid you in your journey.
More than likely, I’ll see you when you get there - until then, keep writing.
Sincerely,
Casca
Reviewing this for this reviewing thingy right here.
Work and life have cut my time short on this one, so I’m going to skip all the silly bits I usually lead off with and get with down to the key points. And probably post it a bit late anyway.
While you’ve got an interesting subject here — putting a spotlight on a pony with almost no fandom or show presence — have a good conflict for her, and raise a couple good questions about how things work in Equestria, the story just kind of falls flat. Why is that?
Well, first, you don’t seem to trust yourself to express your thoughts succinctly, as so you write more than is needed. You overexplain, belabor the point, or repeat yourself. But that just drags things out, when you’d really be better off cutting back and getting a faster pace.
The story really needs more action, too. This is really the same problem as the previous point, but a different part of the solution. Anyway, it’s not that we need some big action-adventure plot to make it interesting. After all, AbsoluteAnonymous one wrote a fascinating character piece where Pinkie Pie has an existential crisis while watching paint dry. But Fleetfoot here is very passive. If she were actually doing things, even if those things were more trying to pass the time when she can’t sleep, it would be something.
The next issue is that it just feels disjointed. How was what Luna showed her relevant to her problem? Or what Dash tells her at the end? Fleetfoot seems to be afraid that Hard Work Hardly Works, and she’ll always lag behind fliers who simply have a more powerful Talent than her, no matter how much she tries.
But she sees a lesson about how being a friend is more important than winning, and a lesson about humility.
Neither of those feel particularly relevant.
Maybe she could have learned that it’s okay to be second- (or third- or fourth-) -best, but that wouldn’t have been very satisfying. Better than that, maybe the story could have built towards a different moral. One that seems particularly fitting to her dilemma might be:
Do not be discouraged that others have a seeming natural advantage over you. Through hard work, you can equal or outshine those gifted individuals. That you worked harder for it than they did doesn’t lessen the worth of what you have done.
That feels like where you were headed to begin with, and could have come right off of the show, to boot. It wouldn’t be a bad message for a lot of people on here, either.
So there you go. Those two issues may color the story as a whole, but they’re still really the only two problems. Your spelling and grammar are fine, and that puts you ahead of about half the things I review for right off the bat. Just tighten it up and consider your focus, and this would be a perfectly fine story.