F02: For a Special Somederpy
“Okee-dokee, what have we got today?”
“Somepony who wants to visit.”
“Yeah? Great.”
Karyn was glad that Derpy had made the decision for her. With school starting and her schedule getting busier, it was harder to find things to do on a Sunday that were new and unique. Derpy had dome so many things on Earth that she was practically a native, but Karyn still thought of her as a tourist. Other ponies, though, were definitely tourists.
“There is kind of a catch with it, though.”
“Oh? Is it another two-in-one like when we had Vinyl and Octavia here?”
Derpy reached around the back of her head and grinned while squinting. It was a pose that Karyn used whenever she wasn’t sure if she wanted to say something or not. She hadn’t thought that Derpy knew it, and the idea that she might have picked it up on Earth amused her. “Well...it was going to be, but we had a little mix-up. After Dinky came last time, she carried the saddlebag with all the spells in it back to Canterlot. I just realized it last night and so there wasn’t time for her to post it back—if that’s how we’d do it. I trust the post office a lot, but I’d trust it more if I were the carrier, you know? Anyway, that means that we’ll have to use the third bag, bringing one of the pair this week, and the other next week.”
“I see. Wait, why can’t you just bring the first pony, carry the second bag back with you, then get the second pony?”
“I told you, Dinky has the second bag.”
Karyn shook her head. “I meant the other bag. Why can’t take the bag you’re not using back and forth?”
Derpy’s wings folded and she clopped to the ground. “I completely didn’t think of that.”
“It’s all right. You can still get them now.”
“No, the one who was told to come next week took this week to go off and spend time with her family in Apploosa. She said it worked out better for everypony. At least, that’s what the pony I’m bringing told me.
Derpy was starting to quiver, so Karyn tried to reassure her. “Hey, it’s all right. You didn’t screw up. Nopony is going to lose out on it, we’ll just work with everyone’s schedule.”
“Thanks. Well, I’d better go get the guest we do have. See you in an instant.”
She left right from the room, but forgot or ignored the fact that, once in Equestria, she would have to escort her guest to the clock tower, which put them outside in Gayle’s backyard. And so Karyn had to let them in and wait for the abatement of the invisibility spell to see who it was who had come to visit.
“Mornin’, Miss Karyn.”
“Big Macintosh!”
“Ee-yup.”
Derpy grinned at him. “I was just happy to see that the invisibility covered all of him. He’s quite a big pony.”
“I didn’t think it worked like that,” said Karyn. “I thought that the spell could kind of measure the whole pony and make them invisible, not just create a bubble.”
“It probably is that way, but it still seems like more magic should be needed for Big Mac...is it OK if we call you Big Mac?”
He nodded.
“But we shouldn’t talk about you like you weren’t here. You’re here to have fun, right?”
Finally Big Macintosh dropped his reticence. “I’m really here to make sure that she can have fun. I’m gonna scout the territory and make sure it’s safe.”
Karyn raised her eyebrows. “Nopony’s had any complaints thus far. And didn’t Applejack tell you all about it?”
“M’sister mostly wanted to talk about apples. Said they were darn tasty, and they were, cause I had a bite of some. But, uh, just between the three of us...” He leaned in close, even though anyone whom he was trying to hide from was in another universe. “...I like apples fine, but I don’t obsess over them. Sometimes I think that Applejack wouldn’t go wrong eatin’ an orange or banana now and then.”
“Or a pear?”
“Sure, pears are good,” said Big Macintosh.
Derpy let the tangent play out, then said, “So really nopony’s told you about Earth? I mean, I could have sat down with you and discussed anything you wanted to.”
“Granny always taught me that if ya really want to know something, you got to go see for yourself.”
“We have some people like that on Earth, too,” said Karyn. “I can see how it makes sense.”
She started toward the computer, but then decided against it. In the first place, Big Macintosh didn’t strike her as the kind of pony who would be good with complex technology. Derpy wasn’t either, but she was eager to learn. Mac liked to know. She recognized the difference from some of her users. Second, she doubted that seeing Earth on a screen would fulfill his requirement of seeing the Earth directly. And most of all, it was getting cramped in the little apartment. Ponies were big enough on their own, but Big Macintosh was almost the size of a full-grown horse, and the apartment wasn’t built for horses.
“So, yep, got to make sure this trip is safe for such a delicate flower.”
“You really are protective of Apple Bloom, huh?” said Derpy.
“Never said it was Apple Bloom.”
“Oh. I just figured...and then you said a delicate flower, so that’s why I thought of Apple Bloom...plus you said she went to visit relatives in Apploosa. Oh! You must mean Granny Smith. Yes, I can definitely see how you’d want to be careful with her.”
“Nope.”
“You wouldn’t want to be careful with her?”
Big Macintosh clammed up again, and Karyn had to step in. “I think he means that it’s not Granny Smith either who he wants to make sure that Earth is safe for. If I had to guess, and more so from that ‘delicate flower’ comment, he’s laying the ground for a visit from Cheerilee.”
If he was silent before, now Big Macintosh’s mouth sealed shut. And despite the redness of his coat, they could see the blood flush to his cheeks. Karyn went to twist the knife. “It’s her, isn’t it? Your special somepony, Cheerilee?”
He couldn’t even look them in the eye as he said, “Yep.”
“Ha! I knew that love poison they gave you had long-lasting effects.”
Derpy didn’t understand the reference, but she was more focused on Macintosh’s reaction. “You shouldn’t be embarassed to say that you love somepony. It’s sweet.”
“No, it is sweet that he’s embarassed. On Earth, there’s a growing stigma about males who want to be protective of ladies whom they’re sweet on, because it’s selfish to put them on a pedestal. But we know that when Big Mac wants to ensure that Cheerilee doesn’t encounter any problems, it’s because he genuinely cares about her.”
“Plus he’s strong enough to actually protect her from physical dangers.”
Karyn saw another opportunity. “Are you sure you’re not sweet on him yourself?”
But Derpy didn’t take the bait. “He’s a fine stallion. Cheerilee’s a lucky mare.”
“I’m sure she is. Anyway, what is it that she’s looking to do?”
Big Macintosh was happy that the conversation finally got past the first cold-water dip into the pool of his romantic life, and had settled in for practicalities. “She’s a teacher, she is.”
“We know that.”
“And what she really wants to do is teach a class of humans. Even one lesson. To give as much as she knows about Equestria to people who don’t know nothing about us, she says that would be the peak of her profession.”
Karyn shook her head. “That we can’t do. It’s fine for any one person to see a pony, but if a whole group could tell the same story and all agree, it would get out to the general public, and a lot of things that the princesses don’t want to happen would happen.”
In his taciturn way, Big Macintosh thought about that, then said, “I’m sure I can convince her just to watch a class. She can find out all about the Earth and then teach it to the little foals back in Ponyville.”
“If you can, that would be best. But what is it that you would need to protect her from, if it’s just a group of kids she wants to see?”
“Just that. Some foals can get awfully rowdy.”
Derpy coughed and laughed. “Really? It’s just a few colts and fillies. How bad can it be?”
Now it was Big Macintosh and Karyn who shared a knowing look. Derpy’s only impression of a foal was what she got from Dinky. And despite whatever rebellious phases she was going through as a mare, she was still the model child that any parent would be grateful to get to raise. Big Macintosh had had to be the father figure for two fillies, one of whom he was significantly older than, and Karyn, though an only child, knew plenty of brats.
“Nonetheless,” he said, “I want to watch out that she doesn’t get a class of bad’uns.”
“Well, this works out perfect, since Karyn just finished working for a school.”
Macintosh looked at Karyn with a new respect. “You’re a teacher?”
“Oh, no. Schools here are more complicated than just the little room where Cheerilee teaches. And the school I worked at is the last place that we’d want to show Cheerilee for all the reasons we were talking about.”
Now his curiosity had been piqued. “Why’s that?”
“Well, let’s just put it this way. When kids do so bad at the kind of school that Miss Cheerilee might teach at, they get sent to the school where I worked.”
“But you didn’t teach ‘em?”
“Karyn works with computers,” Derpy said. “If Cheerilee had these, she could teach all the little foals about them. If they worked in Equestria, which they don’t, because we don’t have electricity, and if they could connect to the networks, which they can’t because the protocols aren’t made to handle the cross-universe traffic.”
Mac stared at her for a long while. It was clear that he hadn’t understood any of what she just said. Karyn knew the type who understood their limitations. Derpy didn’t. Karyn concluded that, for all her learned knowledge, Derpy would make a bad support tech. She could never have the patience with anyone who didn’t care to learn as much as her.
“Well, if it’s all the same to y’all, I’d like to see this place you work at. Maybe it’s not so bad.” Big Macintosh stomped a hoof that left no room for further argument. Karyn got her purse.
Derpy took the front seat, and Big Macintosh filled most of the back. He was a little interested in how the car worked, but he was far more interested in getting where they were going. Karyn got to drive the route that she had taken all summer, and it felt good to be able to go over familiar roads without having a deadline to get to work, and knowing that when she got there there would be no work for her to do, neither that day nor evermore. It felt, she thought, a little like what she hoped retirement would be.
What she did have to accomplish, of course, was figuring out the best way to get Cheerilee the view of Earth that she wanted. And she realized that her perpetual problem with Derpy could not, in this case, be avoided.
“Now, like I said, there are many downsides to using this school to show Cheerilee. But one upside is that they still do things on Sunday. If we want to see a different school, it’ll have to be on a weekday, and I suppose that might mean that Cheerilee will need a substitue for her class. If you have substitutes.”
“Somepony’ll do it,” said Big Macintosh, “even if it has to be me.”
Karyn winced at the image of Big Mac standing up in front of a classroom of foals. Half of them would probably be crying at his intimidating nature, which would make him panic, which would in turn cause him to make an even stronger blunder, and so on.
They arrived, and Karyn parked at a discreet distance from the school. Any passerby could conclude that Karyn was simply in the area and had walked off to one of the houses or stores around. Then she got on Derpy’s back for a quick deactivation and reactivation of the invisibility spell. It was a maneuver that she was getting used to, and she felt confident that she could do it quickly and surreptitiously enough to avoid attention.
She guided Derpy, with Big Mac following her sound and her scent, along the path she had taken to her office, but then went beyond that looking for any sign of activity. Again she enjoyed being on familiar territory with no obligations.
They crept around to some of the classrooms. Most of them were dark and uninhabited. At last Karyn came to one that had a light on, and to her satisfaction it was a computer class.
“I think there’s enough room for us. Look at the far wall, there’s no reason for anyone to go there. We’ll be safe when we get there, but that could be difficult. Light tread, Big Mac, and don’t bump anything.”
“Don’t you worry. I’ll make like I’ve got a bushel of apples on my back. Never bruised a one.”
She trusted him, and with just a little opening in the door, they snuck in. Now she got a chance to see what they were learning. It seemed more creative than informative; they were working with the popular presentation software that Karyn didn’t care for. What made her seethe was that the presentations they were making were laden with references to criminal activity, drugs, anger, and an entire culture she did not like. It helped that they were learning the software, but none of the students seemed to be taking the assignment seriously.
What she wanted was to talk it over with Derpy, but of course she couldn’t. She might be acting too harsh, and maybe the important thing was for the teacher to get through to them.
In fact there were two teachers in the room, one actively examining each student’s presentation, and the other working at the desk, who Karyn thought might be more for security and in fact reminded her a little of Big Macintosh. That pony, though following the instructions to stay in one place, craned his neck this way and that to catch the goings on of the class. The equipment was still new to him.
The roaming teacher got close to them, and they had to do some shuffling to give her clearance as she looked at one of the students’ work. With a gentle tone, she said, “It looks good, but remember what we talked about civility and considering others’ feelings.”
The student began his sentence with a rude word. “...other’s feelings. That’s bull—“ and here he was cut off. For although the ponies did not know the word he used, they could tell the sentiment. And since Karyn did not feel Derpy move from underneath her, she concluded that the only reason that the student’s head jerked back was that he had just been cuffed in the chin by Big Macintosh.
Big Macintosh was a pony who understood rules, and so even though he had broken one, fortunately he had still not made any noise beyond an exasperated snort. Karyn and Derpy dragged him out of the room, though clearly he went of his own accord. Not even with all their strength could they have pulled him out if he didn’t want to go.
It wasn’t until they got him back by the car that they spoke. Derpy stomped her hoof and gave a snort that, while daintier, had a similarity to his.
“What were you thinking?! You can’t give yourself away.”
“I agree. And neither can Cheerilee. There’s no way I’m lettin’ her come here when there’s all them ruffians around here. For a student to talk back to the teacher like that, it’s just unheard of!”
Derpy had never heard Big Macintosh so intense. Karyn had, the time that his sister and her friends had run the gossip column. She tried to reason with him. “Is it really your place to say that she can or can’t come?”
“Well, I mean I won’t order her or nothing, but generally she listens to me when I tell her what’s what. And what we saw there...” He shuddered.
Karyn gentled her tone. “I wasn’t pleased with what we saw, but you’ve got to remember that those kids are some of the worst.” She didn’t know if Equestria had any concept of a reform school, so she groped for an analogy. “Imagine a whole class full of nothing but Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Because every town had their own Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon and sent them all to one school so that everypony else could learn better.”
“But they’re fine, upstanding mares.”
Again the difference in times got to her. “I mean when they went to school. Ask your little sister to tell you some stories of how they acted when they were all classmates.”
“Even so, I’m going to recommend to Cheerilee not to come here. What’s she going to get out of it?”
Karyn had no answer to that, but Derpy, also with calm in her voice, said, “You can’t know what you’ll get out of Earth until you come here. Maybe all you’ll get is a feeling of how being on Sweet Apple Acres is the best place for you, all your life. Like when Applejack went to Manehattan. But maybe Cheerilee will get something else out of it. I mean, I’m just like you in that I’m a homebody, with not a lot of curiosity. But when I started coming to Earth, after the fact it grew on me. Now I think I learn something every week.”
Big Macintosh thought for a long while. The girls gave him his time. They knew that he liked to work things through. “Well, can we at least see a school of good foals?”
“We can’t see a class like we saw there,” said Karyn, “Because they don’t operate on Sundays. This one did because they have to have all the youths occupied.”
“I get that, but can we see the building?”
“I don’t see why not.”
They got back in the car, and Karyn searched on her phone for an elementary school close by. She knew that they liked to space them out so that the students didn’t have to go on long bus trips. After shutting off the phone, they got on the road.
Derpy leaned over and said, “Can we even drive into a school? I know how big Earth people are about security.”
“We can’t go in the building, but we can park there. They have open lots for if anyone wants to use the ball fields or such.”
As she said, they pulled into the parking lot past the bus lane with ease. No one else was around, and Karyn didn’t bother to make herself invisible again. It was perfectly legal to peer into windows, and that’s what she and the ponies did.
All the classrooms were on the ground floor, and the school consisted of two large squares connected by hallways and offices. Some of the classrooms had curtains, but many were open and they could see some of the work hanging on the walls. In the first- and second-grade classes, they consisted of carefully hand-drawn letters and crayon artwork. Big Macintosh stopped in front of one such window.
“What is it?” asked Derpy.
“There.”
“We can’t see where you’re pointing.”
“On the far wall, there’s a picture of a pony.”
She looked. “So there is.”
Karyn nodded. “A lot of people like drawing ponies. Especially little kids.”
Again there was a long silence as Big Mac went pensive, then he said, “All right. Cheerilee can come.”
“Great!” said Derpy. “What made you change your mind?”
Karyn laughed. “I’ll explain later. Let’s get Big Macintosh home so he can prepare Cheerilee for what we’ll see.”
“Just to make sure,” he said, “your school was like this one, right?”
“Not the building. It had a smaller area but was taller. It had these massive ornamented archways over the doors. That’s what I remember most about my elementary school. The doors. Probably from wanting to go out them so much.”
“But did you draw ponies as a foal?”
Karyn put a hand on his shoulder and felt his musculature. “Kid. The word for a human child is kid, just like a goat. And no, I didn’t, but I’m sure there were people who did. Even though people on Earth complain about loss of innocence, the kids are still mostly the same. I think Cheerilee will have a good time.”
“All right.”
They drove home and sent Big Macintosh back to Equestria. Derpy and Karyn had their usual few minutes alone, when Karyn decided to needle Derpy some more. “Big Macintosh is quite the stallion. If only Cheerilee were out of the picture...”
“Really? You and him? I figured you would want to stay with human boys.”
“No, I meant that...never mind. At least he listened to reason. Now we’ve just got to keep Cheerilee safe so that he doesn’t come back and trample us.”
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Where Big Mac is a type of Apple, that kid is probably a Durian?
Wonder if the picture Big Mac saw was by one of the children who watch the cartoon.
I loled at the last part. And i can see him doing that some of the kids at my high school. I wouldn't blame him.
I think Big Mac probably made quite the impressionon that kid. Probably horseshoe-shaped.
It might be possible for them to get into Sunday School, but a standard class probably would be better....
We wonder how that teacher reacted to the kid when he got socked, the look on their face would have been amusing.
Keep going! ;)
Just had a thought, what about Cherrilee doing an online class? Although a skype session when the teacher's image is blacked out might be a little weird. Ok, bad idea after all.
I still think if anyone could get away with being seen by more than 2 humans at the same time, it would be her by a bunch of kids. The hard part would be getting the kids to actually sit down and learn something rather than fawn over her or jump around like animals.
I almost see this happening when Twilight is introduced to a bunch of scientists... grown adults either fawning over her or jumping around like animals.
A Durian, Oh how nasty.
Come back and trample us! LOL!
5020371
Default excuse: I"m sorry, I don't have a webcam.Although I did once.
Response to a question about webcam: "It froze my PC every time I tried to use it. I don't trust webcams any more".
As an extra you can use the webcam emulator and put any image there. Like charts, diagrams and etc. Or just a funny pic.
Edit. D'oh!
http://store.steampowered.com/app/274920/
Or just say you're using something like FaceRig. Or "A programmer friend made me this".
5034348
You know, the idea with the face rig could work. Especially if she teaches very young children. Could even go so far as to call it an Alpha for some new online Pre-K, K, or very low grade online classes. Using "face rigging" to give the children a friendly "cartoon" face to interact with.
Tho Derpnet could probably do it without Cheerilee, or anypony for that matter.
5017824 You want to talk durians? Then here's a very deadly one.