Chapter 4: Good Bye Human Party
“Hold still Twilight…”
Twilight trotted slowly through the streets of Ponyville while Spike stood on her back, trying to tighten a bandage he was wrapping around her head (with little success due to her horn). It had been a couple of hours since she was knocked out by that tree branch.
While it still hurt, the pain she suffered more was the loss of her human. Having searched the forest without any luck, she finally gave up and returned to Ponyville, forgetting all about Zecora’s tea.
“Lighten up Twilight. It’s not as bad as it looks…” Spike said, trying his best to lighten her spirit. Twilight merely sighed and grumbled.
As Twilight continued to drag her hooves down the street, both she and Spike never noticed Alex poking his head out of a bottomless barrel in a nearby alley. He too had just missed Twilight, having spent his last half hour hiding.
Alex’s eyes darted from left to right. Everywhere he could see there were ponies; earth-ponies, unicorns and pegasi. He had taken quite a chance going into Ponyville, but with the woods no longer a safe haven, the town seemed to be a much safer place than any.
He knew that somewhere out there was Twilight, the Apple siblings and Fluttershy combing the woods looking for him. The last place they would ever think to look would be smack in the middle of ‘Pony-Central’, aka Ponyville.
Alex snuck through the nearby alleyways, trying to stay as far away from the crowded streets as he possibly could. He parked himself next to another barrel and slowly peered up, checking if the coast was clear. The last thing he needed was being found out…
“HI!”
"GAH!"
Alex literally jumped out of the barrel as a pink pony suddenly emerged from the one next to him, waging her tail like an excited puppy. Her fluffy wild mane like cotton candy and a smile as big as a party clown. She jumped out of the barrel and skipped over to him.
“Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie. Welcome to Ponyville!” she smiled. Alex could only stare at her with big shocked eyes. He had been so careful. How did she find him? “Who are you? Or for that matter, WHAT are you? I’ve only seen ponies, griffins and minotaurs come to Ponyville, but I’ve never seen anypony like you before. Are you a pony? Of course not, you would have had hooves. You’ve got hands like a minotaur, except they have hooves too but on their hind legs. And horns! You don’t have horns either which is really strange cause if you were a minotaur…” Alex was getting scared. It wouldn’t stop babbling!
“ALEX!” he cried. “My name is Alex! I’m a human!” Pinkie Pie had finally stopped talking. She then smiled at him some more as she began to jump up and down before talking again, calmer this time.
“Welcome to Ponyville Alex the human. Why were you hiding in a barrel? Were you playing hide-n-seek? Ooh! Ooh! Can I play too? You’ll never find me!” She leaped back into the barrel and giggled. Alex just lay on the ground, speechless and a bit scared. This pony was hyper! As if she had eaten a truckload of sugar and washed it all down with soda! He kept a sharp eye on the barrel as he slowly crept away backwards, trying to reach the streets. Suddenly he felt his hand touch some pony’s hoof.
“What’s that you’re doing now?!” asked Pinkie. Alex yelled as the pink pony was suddenly behind him, still smiling and cheerful. How did she do that? He stared at Pinkie. He then looked back at the barrel. He looked at Pinkie again.
‘This is impossible! There is no way she could have…’
“Ooh! Ooh! You’re playing pretend, right? Can I join?” Pinkie fell backwards, landing on her hooves and started to crawl backwards to and fro before stopping beside Alex. “See? This is how a crab walks! Am I right? Huh? Huh?” she giggled.
“Ah… Yeah, that’s right! You win! Hehe…” Alex laughed nervously. This pony was really bizarre. He slowly got back up on his feet and started to walk away. “I don’t mean to be rude and all, but I need to be somewhere…”
“Where are you going?” Pinkie suddenly popped up in front of him. Man she was fast! Alex could clearly see she was a normal pony, but everything about her seemed like magic. No! Not magic. CHAOS! She was so random. If it weren’t for her festive personality and cheerful attitude, he would have seen her as an instant threat.
“I… don’t know…” Alex swallowed. “Somewhere… Anywhere… But... Not here? Squee!” he smiled nervously.
“But you can’t leave now! Not when there is a party!”
“What party..?”
“Yours, silly!” Pinkie Pie suddenly strapped a party hat on to his head. “It’s your ‘Special Welcome to Ponyville Party!’” She exclaimed throwing her hoof into the air as confetti and sounds of party horns emitted from her. “You see, I love parties and I throw one every time a new pony arrives in Ponyville. And as your new best friend, I’m making this one extra special!”
“But I’m not a…”
Pinkie Pie suddenly vanished, only to reappear seconds later, pushing a small, strange, colorful and yet festive wagon. She pushed it up next to Alex, who stood silently watching as this strange pony pushed a big red button that stuck out from the side of the wagon. Music filled the air as the wagon opened up, revealing a small oven with various cakes and muffins while trumpets and flags sprouted forth, blowing and waving as the pink pony suddenly burst into song and started dancing.
~~~~~
“Welcome, welcome, welcome!
A fine welcome to you!”
She skipped and bounced passed him and again from behind him, smiling cheerfully as she sang.
“Welcome, welcome, welcome!
I say; how do you do?”
She suddenly popped up beside him with a blow horn, blew on it, causing it to go inside his one ear and out the other. Alex painfully rubbed his one ear with his finger as soon as she removed it.
“Welcome, welcome, welcome!
I say; Hip, Hip Hooray!”
He watched as she brought out a large drum and played it while marching back and forth. She then came back and ‘tap-danced’ cheerfully towards him on her hind legs as the song drew to a close.
“Welcome, welcome, welcome!
To Ponyville todaaaay!”
~~~~~
“Wait for it…” She said gleefully as the music died down. Suddenly, the oven opened up and spewed forth confetti while a row of cannons shot out streams of cake-mix that covered them both.
Both Alex and Pinkie Pie stood just there, covered in cake-mix and confetti. Alex was at a loss for words. He had a hard time trying to grasp what had just transpired. Pinkie on the other hand let out a snort and giggled.
“I did it again! Giggle-Snort!”
Alex wasn’t really amused. His eyes darted back and forth the alleyway, hoping the music and loud noises hadn’t attracted any curious ponies.
As he began to brush off the cake-mix, he shot a quick glance back at Pinkie, and gawked at the pink mare as she with little to no effort stepped out of the cake-mix, leaving a hollow cake-statue of herself. His eyes grew even wider as the pink party animal’s mouth grew impossibly wide and took in the whole thing in one gulp. He started to wonder if this pony was made of rubber.
Having shaken off what remained of the cake-mix and taking off the hat, Alex calmly looked at Pinkie as she smiled at him, her tail wagging with anticipation as she appeared to wait for something. Watching her, Alex couldn’t help but smile back (which was exactly what she was waiting for).
“Cough! Well… Thank you. That was a really nice welcoming party Miss Pinkie Pie…” He said, scratching nervously the back of his head. “…but I really think I should get going now…”
“GO?!? But we’re friends now. You can’t leave yet!” She exclaimed. She ran up behind him and started to push him. Despite having dug his feet into the ground, he found himself leaving a trail of skid marks as the pony pushed him in the direction of a bakery that looked like an oversized gingerbread house. “You must come with me to Sugarcube Corner! I’ll invite everypony and we’ll throw the biggest ‘New Pony in Ponyville Party’ ever!”
“But I’m not a pony…”
Pinkie suddenly stopped, bringing a hoof to her cheek and gasping at the realization. “GASP! You’re right! We can’t have a ‘New Pony in Ponyville Party’ if the new pony in Ponyville isn’t a new pony in Ponyville!” She then sat on the ground and started to think. For a moment she reminded Alex of a statue he had seen at a museum once, and there was a ticking sound he couldn’t quite figure out.
DING!
She suddenly sprung back up on her hooves as she got an idea, and Alex could’ve sworn a light bulb appeared over her head at that moment. “I GOT IT! We’ll have a ‘Good Bye Human Party!’”
Alex blinked. “Come again?”
“Come on!” Pinkie continued to push Alex towards the bakery, ignoring his question. “Ooh this is going to be SO great! It’s the bestest idea ever!” Alex didn’t like this. He felt like helpless kid being forced into the house of some wicked witch.
She pushed Alex through the front door of Sugarcube Corner. Alex could tell the place lived up to its name. If there was anything that was sugarcoated, this place had A LOT of sugarcoating. Pinkie finally stopped pushing and bounced towards the counter.
“Mr. and Mrs. Cake are out on a family vacation, so I mind the bakery.” Alex glanced at a nearby photo that hung on the wall.
In the picture were three Earth-Ponies. He recognized Pinkie Pie as she playfully slipped into the background of the picture, throwing confetti and streamers while sporting a party hat and whistle. The one pony on the left was yellow stallion with orange mane, wearing a baker’s hat and sporting three carrot cakes on his flank. Beside him to the right was a light-blue mare pony with an apron and two-toned mane of light and dark pink. She had three cupcakes on her flank. Mr. and Mrs. Cake? Somehow Alex saw a pattern here…
“That’s Mr. Carrot Cake on the right and Mrs. Cup Cake on the left.” Alex’s suspicions were confirmed as Pinkie Pie suddenly appeared beside him pointing her hoof at the picture. The thought of being named after the marks on their flanks baffled him. “They are really nice. They let me stay here and I help them out by selling cakes and throwing a party every day.”
“You throw parties every day?” Alex raised an eyebrow.
“Well duh! Every day is a party, right?”
Alex couldn’t really understand Pinkie’s logic. Still, the three balloons on her flank seemed to tell him that she was quite literary obsessed with parties and celebrations. He rolled his eyes as he looked back at the picture. He then noticed two little foals between them.
“That’s their children Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake.” Pinkie smiled. Alex looked closely at the picture. There was something wrong here.
“Why is one a pegasus and the other a unicorn?”
“Oh that’s easy! Carrot Cake’s great-great-great-great grandfather was a unicorn, and Cup Cake’s great aunt’s second cousin twice removed was a pegasus. Squee!”
There was a moment of silence as Alex looked back at Pinkie Pie with a deadpanned expression.
“That makes… sense..?” Alex said somewhat confused. Pinkie merely smiled and giggled as she bounced back behind the counter.
“Now where was it..?” She disappeared from sight as she seemed to be looking for something. Alex wasn’t quite sure what to make of all this. He then remembered what she said earlier. Good Bye Human Party? What did she mean by that?
He then glanced at another picture beside the one with the Cakes, and his blood froze. In the picture was Pinkie Pie, and around her were five other ponies. Two he didn’t recognize, but three he knew VERY well.
“Say… You don’t happen to be friends with a unicorn named Twilight an..?”
“YOU KNOW TWILIGHT?!”
“GAH!”
Pinkie Pie suddenly popped out of a butter churn, causing Alex to cry out. He couldn’t wrap around how she was able to move from one place to another. Let alone fit into anything smaller than her!
“Y… Yes! I met her on the way here. And Applejack and Fluttershy…”
“You’ve met Applejack AND Fluttershy too?!” Pinkie smiled. “That’s great! I should introduce you to my other friends; Rainbow Dash and Rarity. They’ll be so happy meet you…” Alex glanced back at the picture. The cyan pegasus with the rainbow mane was obviously Rainbow Dash. That only left Rarity, who was without a doubt the pretty looking white marshmallow unicorn with purple mane. “After all, you’ll be gone when this is over!”
“Gone..?” Alex glanced back at Pinkie, only to see her disappear back into the butter churn and pop back up from inside a stove.
“Well duh! Your ‘Good Bye Human Party’, remember?” she disappeared again. How was she doing this?
“Just what do mean by ‘gone’?” Alex slowly opened the lid of the stove, looking for Pinkie. Maybe she WAS a witch? “Are you going to send me home?”
“SEND YOU HOME?!”
CLANG!
The surprise of Pinkie suddenly standing right behind him caused Alex to jump, knocking his head into the pots and pans that hung over the stove.
“Silly, I can’t send you home. That would be the end of the story!”
Alex rubbed his head as he turned and faced Pinkie. “What?”
“I mean, do I even look like a unicorn? I can’t do magic.” Ironic since everything she had done these past minutes seemed like magic. “I’m only going to throw you your last ‘human’ party. You said so yourself. You’re not a pony, and I can’t throw a ‘New Pony in Ponyville Party’ if the new pony in Ponyville isn’t a new pony.”
“Then what are you going to do?” Alex asked nervously.
“I’m going to make you a pony.” She said cheerfully. Alex just stood there more confused than ever.
“You mean like, an ‘honorary pony’..?’” He was quiet for a moment. “I’m flattered…” He began to smile. His fears seemed to have been unfounded and he felt ashamed to think this pony would mean him any harm. “I’d be honored, even though I’d still be ‘technically’ human…”
“Oh, that’s the best part. You won’t! Giggle-Snort!”
Alex’s world shattered as his smile fell. Somehow that didn’t seem right. He looked at the still smiling pink pony and had an unnerving feeling.
“Won’t..? AhHehe... What do you mean by… ‘won’t’?”
“Giggle-Snort! Oh, you’ll see.” She giggled again and winked.
Alex stared deadpanned at Pinkie for a moment before finally shaking his head and rubbing his hand nervously at the back of his head.
“Well, all this sounds really exciting and all…” He slowly edged his way around Pinkie. “…but I REEAAAALLY think I should get going…”
“NO!!” she exclaimed, darting herself in front of Alex, blocking his path. The pink mare suddenly jumped up and placing her forelegs on his shoulders as she locked eyes with his. “You mustn’t go anywhere! Pinkie Promise that you won’t!”
“Pinkie Promise?”
“You know, a Pinkie Promise.” She raised her right hoof and stuck the hoof in her eye. “Cross my heart, hope to fly! Stick a cupcake in my eye!” Alex couldn’t help but smile a bit as it reminded him of a more familiar, yet disturbing, phrase. Placing her hoof back on his shoulder, she started to slowly push him back against the stove. “Pinkie Promise that you’ll stay for the party!”
Alex gulped as the cheerful image of Pinkie Pie suddenly turned very serious.
“Say it!”
“I Pinkie Promise! Cross my heart… hope to fly… Stick a cupcake in my… Gulp! eye..?”
“Super!” For a second, a smile appeared on her face, right before going back to dead serious. “You must never EVER break a Pinkie Promise! To break a Pinkie Promise, is to break a trust! And losing a friend’s trust is the fastest way to lose a friend!”
She pushed him until he hit the stove, knocking his head painfully on the same dangling pot he had done previously. Cornered, he froze as she pressed her muzzle against his nose while glaring into his eyes. “FOR-EVER!”
“…”
“Oh, there’s my notebook!” Pinkie suddenly looked passed him and grabbed a green notebook that stuck conveniently out from the very pot that Alex had hit his head on with her teeth. For that split second, all that tension disappeared as if it never happened. “Now you just wait here. I’m going to write down a list of things for the party. This is going to be so great!” she muffled. Back to her usual chirpy self she dropped back onto the floor and trotted off into the next room.
Great? Great wasn’t exactly the word Alex would use to describe the situation. He wasn’t sure if this pony was kidding or was completely insane. Whatever she had planned for him, it most definitely didn’t sound good! The first three ponies were at least interested in him as a human. This pony seemed almost like she had the intention of literary turning him into a pony. He started to envision himself as a pony, complete with hooves, snout and a mark on his flank. He shivered.
Promise or not, Alex knew he had to get away from this pony. He was too fond of his hands. While she was busy in the next room, he saw his chance to escape through the front door. He tip-toed quietly, reached for the doorknob and slowly opened it. It seemed a bit strange that this particular pony would so callously leave him alone…
“Where are you going?”
“GAH!” Alex exclaimed as the pink pony was suddenly outside. Was she waiting for him? “How? What? Why..?”
“You weren’t trying to run away, were you?” she frowned at him.
“NO! I… I just opened it to… …to get a little fresh air! That’s all!” She looked at him suspiciously for a moment. Alex smiled nervously.
“Oki-doki loki!” She cheerfully said. “Fresh air is nice. And you know what? You do look pale! Are you hungry? You should eat some cupcakes. I love cupcakes!” she happily exclaimed as she bounced in, forcing Alex back. “Do you like cupcakes? Of course you do! How can anypony not like cupcakes? Oh wait, you’re not a pony yet. Guess that makes you an ‘ANYBODY’! How can anybody not like cupcakes? Anybody… Snicker! Sounds really weird saying it… What else ends with ‘body’? Everybody, nobody, somebody… Giggle-Snort! It’s like a song.”
~~~~~
“No-body, some-body.
Any-body, Every-body…”
~~~~~
Now Alex was starting to get frustrated. “Why are you doing this? Why go through all this trouble to make me a pony? I’m just a nobody!” Pinkie just giggled.
Suddenly, she raised her hoof and a spotlight shined down upon her as the kitchen suddenly went dark. Alex looked up wondering where that light came from when he then noticed Pinkie moving her body in rhythm to a tune that suddenly came out of nowhere. It faintly reminded him of a theme from an animated show he liked as a kid.
~~~~~
“You say you are no-body?
I say you are some-pony!
Why settle for any-body?
When it can just be every-pony?”
“Deep down! You’ll see!
That Ponyville ain’t so bad!
Pretty soon! You’ll be!
A pony that’s really ra~ad!”
“A pony you will be!”
*Will be~!*
“A pony, you will see!”
*Will see~!*
“In this pony town, with new friends and family. All you need is to join the herd! Yes, a pony you shall be!”
*Do-Do-Do Do Doo~!*
~~~~~
She shook her flank as she danced to the music. She then leaped into Alex’s arms and hugged him. Alex just frowned and dropped Pinkie on to the floor. Perplexed, she just lay on her back staring at him as he stepped away and, for reasons he couldn’t quite figure out himself, started to sing his reply.
~~~~~
“You say I am no-pony?
I say I am some-body!
Why be like any-pony?
When I’m just like every-body?”
“Give it up! Its nuts!
I like my body the way it is!
No ifs! No buts!
Not even a pretty plea~se!”
“A pony I won’t be!”
*Won’t be~!*
“A pony can’t you see?”
* You see~?*
“In this pony town, without friends and family. No, I will nev-er join your herd! I refuse as you can see!”
*Do-Do-Do Do Doo~!*
~~~~~
Alex crossed his arms and turned his back to her in defiance. Pinkie’s lips trembled and she seemed as if she was about to cry. Instead her sadness quickly became determination and she sprung up on her hooves. Alex felt her hoof tap on his back and he turned around only to find she was suddenly gone. Looking back, she was suddenly in front of him, pressing her face hard against his as she glared into his eyes. Alex tried to counter her glare with his own, pushing themselves from one corner of the room to another in a battle of submission.
The ‘Glare Contest’ switched back and forth until Alex finally found himself unable to match glares with her anymore. He was pushed to the floor and Pinkie dived down upon him, pinned him down between her hooves as she gleefully pressed her muzzle against his nose.
~~~~~
“A pony you will be!”
*Woah woah…*
~~~~~
She then trotted away, facing away from him.
~~~~~
“A pony, you shall see!”
*Yeah yeah…*
~~~~~
She continued to trot gracefully away before stopping with a dreamy sigh.
~~~~~
“Sigh~! In this pony town, we’ll be friends and family, oh~.
~~~~~
She paused. Then she immediately switched to her cheerful self.
~~~~~
“Oh you’re SO gonna join the HE~ERD!
~~~~~
Completely caught up in her ‘solo moment’, she jumped onto a table. She shook her body and danced while she sang, becoming so oblivious to everything around her. Alex noticed this and slowly, and carefully, pushed himself away across the floor.
~~~~~
“Yes, a pony you shall be!”
*Shall be~!*
“A pony you will see!”
*Will see~!*
“In this pony town, with new friends and family. Just come on and join the herd~!”
“Oh yes, a pony you shall be!”
*You’ll be~!*
“A pony you will see!”
*You’ll see~!*
“In this pony town, with new friends and family. All you need is to join the herd! Yes a pony you shall be!”
~~~~~
“WOOO! I’m SO excited! Aren’t you excited? You’ll just love being a pony! I just know you’ll- huh?”
Alex was gone. Pinkie’s eyes moved from where he was on the floor moments ago towards the now open front door. Pinkie was eerily quiet as she stood there still looking at the open door as it swayed and creaked in the wind.
“He’s gone..?” She dropped down on her haunches. “He… He broke the Pinkie Promise…” Pinkie half-whimpered until she suddenly gritted her teeth and held her breath as the anger boiled inside her, letting out jets of steam out her ears.
“NOPONY BREAKS A PINKIE PROMISE! Oh wait… He’s not a pony...” She then rubbed her hooves together and smiled dastardly while sporting a fake mustache. “…yet.”
“DUN DUN DUUUN!”
*****
Alex ran through the alleyways, trying to create as much distance from Sugarcube Corner as he could. He ran and ran until he finally stopped and rested near a trashcan. He took a deep breath and dried the sweat from his forehead.
“Phew! I think I lost…”
“YOU BROKE A PINKIE PROMISE!!!”
Alex flinched with fright as a familiar pink mare popped out of the trashcan. Her eyes burning with intense anger as she pointed her accusing hoof at him. Alex didn’t waste a single second and ran off.
“COME BACK HERE!!!” she yelled.
Not once did Alex look back. He ran and ran until he reached the other end of town. He finally stopped and rested his hand against a tree. This time he had lost Pinkie for…
“WHY WON’T YOU STAY FOR YOUR “GOOD-BYE HUMAN PARTY?”
Alex looked up and saw Pinkie as she popped out from between the leaves and branches of the tree. He jumped, screamed like a high-pitched girl and vanished in a dust cloud back into town. He ran before stopping short next to a fire hydrant to catch his breath. He was completely out of ideas. How was he going to escape this pink nightmare who now just popped out the hydrant?
“And also, do you know you scream like a girl?”
“*SHRIEK!*”
Alex took just one quick glance at Pinkie before taking off down the street again. He ran so fast he overtook a pony stallion pulling a cart of hay, who stopped suddenly and tried to figure out what had just passed him while Pinkie Pie, humming cheerfully, bounced slowly passed him.
*****
Meanwhile, Twilight and Spike had settled down outside a café, sitting comfortably on haystacks as they ate their meal (well, at least Spike did). Spike was enjoying a plate of his usual choice of hayfries, while Twilight sat with her face pressed on the table in sad defeat, the top of her head completely wrapped in bandages.
“Seriously Twilight, get over it. Have some hayfries.” Spike offered. Twilight merely glanced at her plate, frowned and breathed a heavy sigh, followed by a frustrated groan.
“It’s just not fair!” She raised her forelegs in the air before dropping them again. “The greatest thing to ever happen in my life, and I lose it in one day…” She slammed her face on the table.
BANG!
“Come on Twilight, it can’t be that bad…” Spike tried to cheer her up. “I mean, we could try again. He’s bound to show up somewhere…”
“Yeah right…” the depressed mare muffled sarcastically. She moved her head and frowned at Spike. “And just what are the odds of that happening?” She sat up and spread her forelegs. “Is he just going to run passed us and-”
“OUTTA THE WAY!!!”
Both of them froze as Alex suddenly zoomed passed them, knocking over tables and haystacks. He ran so fast that a couple of ponies that were sitting at one table suddenly found themselves at a completely different table when he passed them. They watched him with mouths agape as he disappeared down the street. Just then, they noticed Pinkie Pie bouncing passed them too, but in her slow and usual calm pace.
“Pinkie Pie?”
“Oh! Hey Twilight! Can’t stop now! I’m on a chase!” She giggled, and bounced out of sight in the direction of where Alex went. Both Twilight and Spike stared after them with deadpanned expressions on their faces. Twilight’s eyes then narrowed, her bandages on her head magically unwrapped and a wryly smile appeared on her face.
“Spike?”
“Uh… Yeah?”
“Let’s get to the library. I have an idea...”
“DUN DUN DUUUN!”
Twilight looked around confused, wondering who just said that.
*****
Alex continued to run down the street. He ran clean across the marketplace. He dodged a cart full of carrots. He slid beneath another cart full of tomatoes. He jumped up on a barrel and crossed a herd of ponies by running on their backs.
“AH!”
“IH!”
“HEY!”
“WATCH IT!”
He then jumped clean through the open window of a house, crashed through furniture, breaking wood and plates while a mare’s scream was heard, before exiting through another open window.
Alex accelerated and ran so fast, that when he reached an oddly shaped building shaped like a carrousel, he scaled it in less than 10 seconds. Reaching the top of the building, he grabbed hold the flag pole and came to a complete stop. Now he had a great view of Ponyville, and there was no sign of Pinkie Pie on the ground. He breathed a sigh of relief.
“Pant! Finally… Pant! I think I finally lost…”
He turned his head and found himself staring into the still angry eyes of Pinkie, who seemed to have been waiting for him. His triumphant expression crumbled like so many old, dry cupcakes.
‘Oh crud…’
“YOU APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW, MISTER!” she yelled. Alex cried, accidently letting go of the flag pole. “Oooh! We sure are high up, aren’t we?” she said amazed, momentarily taking in the view of Ponyville. She didn’t notice Alex flailing his arms around as he was losing his balance. “It’s really dangerous being this high up. You really should be more caref…” Pinkie suddenly realized that Alex was gone. “Alex? Where did you go?”
Alex tumbled down the roof of the building. There was a loud crash as Alex fell straight through the roof of the second floor. He landed in a basket (almost landing on a white fluffy cat that instantly fled upon his arrival), slid across the floor and down a flight of stairs. He went flying passed an open door that closed upon his entry.
What followed was an unholy spectacle of chaos and destruction that emitted from inside that very room.
As the commotion finally died down, Alex peeked out from under the basket that had so conveniently landed on his head. He found himself face down on the floor in the middle of the room. All around him he saw fabric tossed and ripped on the floor, needles and pins dug into fabric and walls of the room, Mannequins… (I’m sorry!) Ponyquins were toppled over and pearls, jewels and all manner of shiny trinkets and gems were scattered on the floor. And to top it all off, yarn covering the whole room like some spider’s web.
Alex then heard the sound of galloping hooves coming closer. The door flew open and a marshmallow white unicorn with a purple mane entered the room. And she was not happy…
“WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL EQUESTRIA???”
“DUN DUN… DUUUUUUUN!!!”
"I wanna be, the very best. That nopony ever was...~"
lol just lol
IMPPOOISIIIBLLEEE, Not again.
Now he has a pony that wants to transform him into one. Oy, oy, oy! There ain't no end to this.
I'm very much expecting all of them to be furiously told off at some point.
Because, you know, he's a sapient being and everything. Not a prize to be held or exploited.
Can't ... resist ....
. . . . . . . you know, if alex is going to dig his hole even deeper, he's going to need a tool that can dig through bedrock
i mean COME ONE HE BROKE A PINKIE PROMISE! A FRICKIN PINKIE PROMISE!
I wonder what would happen if the mane six saw him all at once.
Im in school right now and when i read the "DUN DUN DUUUNNN!!" I laughed so hard my journalism teacher asked if i was okay haha!!
5114581 And we're not even half-way through!
5114705 They won't be told off by anypony anytime soon. But the competition is growing...
5114711
5114804
I am sooooo sorry for thinking this, but when pinkie was really close to Alex, and singing about being a family and joining the herd, I thought pinkie was coming onto him! most likely my shipping part of my mind is running rampant again.
Please forgive meee~!
...why does it feel like i am reading a old child movie? ethier way.... wonder if i could get a tf2 rocket jumper from tf2 and long fall things from portal and jump around Ponyville and Canterlot singing *im thee rocket man they talk about talk about i jump to star n star n Walk it out*
...Yup thats my day in ponyville you aint got nothin on me RD i fall all the time and dont couse property damage... i am a nerd yes but lets move on
5115213 so somewhere in the 5 foot range. Anyway love the concept for this story!
5115219 Thanks
5115157 Close, but not that close.
5114809 I just don't like it when people make the ponies so big. I remember reading this one where the ponies were around 5-6 feet tall, and that would make one of their apples about the size of my head.
5114581 Why not I think its kinda cool, I sympathies with Alex but I think its interesting to say the lest.
5115307 I understand what you mean. The reason I previously pictured them being somewhere below the shoulder is because of this image on Deviantart. I kinda liked it
This chapter blew my expectations right out of that window behind you. I gotta say, that singing sequence was really creative! But with rarity..... I bet she's gonna make him a human ragdoll, by locking him in her basement! Oh boy that would be splendid!
One more thing, that sing sequence, did you take lessons from doctor seuss?
Oh Alex, I feel so sorry for you. Well, at least he lost Pinkie... For now...
5115571 More like hours of coming up with the right words and trying make them ryhme.
Originally I planned on using the 'Cupcake' song, but instead realized it didn't add anything and seemed overused.
And now the insanity is ramped up.....TO ELEVEN!!!
I like this chapter :)
5113945 Aw. *sadface.jpg*
I'm going to hope she didn't mean literally turning him into a pony, because that'd be a rather unfortunate turn for the story to take.
It'd be funnier (and more importantly less utterly cliche) if she just tried to make him put on some kind of pony costume or something.
This is possibly the silliest HiE I've read so far. I'm still loving it.
5116145
This one's pretty silly, but I remember reading a HiE CYoA(Choose your own adventure) that was a bit sillier...can't quite recall the name though.
Within the depths of Alex's mind, the physical manifestation of his sanity is now curled up in the fetal position and shifting from sucking his thumb.
5115413
Honestly, make the story how you want it, not how he wants it. Personally, I like the idea of more RL sized ponies.
I also like the idea of cat sized ponies, horse sized ponies, and giant sized ponies too.
I expected Pikie would try to throw him a party, but not a party like this. Now I don't even know what Rarity's angle will be to chase him. I thought that I had all the chases figured out except Rainbow Dash's. Well played Sir/Madam, well peayed.
5104547 I still wouldn't want to be in a fucking cage. Maybe one made of reinforced glass. And not in bars. Like, going all around. ...But with air holes. The cage might also convince the others more that whoever is in there is just an animal, because why else would they need a cage? Yes, there are crazy pones out there, but that might not cross their minds.
There is no escape
Just when I thought you couldn't top the Fluttershy chapter, you give us this!
Love how Pinkie's thought processes went and her comments breaking the fourth-wall. All awesome and Pinkie.
I predict that Rarity will:
A) try to skin him and make a dress out of it (likely)
B) tries to keep him alive (but only barely) to grow human hair for her dresses (most likely)
C) Behave like most
peopleponies would and panic (unlikely)D) Be civilized and actually treat him like an equal (least likely)
Things got a LOT worse for him now didn't they? O_o
say that pinkie was chasing him and ANYPONY will understand any situation he is in.
Id rather be turned into another species and be excepted that live in a cage the rest of my life
Hmm, so from slavery to forced ponification. Hell, Alex even straight up said (sang) he didn't want to be a pony, so Pinkie doesn't even have an excuse. Dunno if this is getting better or worse.
I kinda feel like this SS guard in the last panel. I MEAN, YOU KIND OF HAVE TO WONDER!!
viruscomix.com/obersalzberg.jpg
Also, the whole anypony/anybody thing, kinda didn't make sense because anybody doesn't only mean human. It's a universal term for any individual, well, any individual with a body, so I guess it wouldn't work with non-corporeal life forms. (IE beings of energy and no physical form, thus no body.)
So Pinkie is as much an anybody as Alex, or Glida, or Iron Will etc.
This is a pet peeve of mine when people try to do the whole "anyone/body stuff is human specific" because it's really not. Hell it's irony when you think about it; we humans use universal terms, while being the only sapient species on the planet, and the only ones currently known in the entire universe, while ponies, whom have multiple sapient species on their planet alone, use species specific terms.
But then again it does kinda go with their xenophilia they seemingly have, after the whole thing with Zecora, and the fact non-pony species are rarely ever seen in the show.
5115374 Why not? Why not!? Alex quite clearly said he didn't want to be a pony, that's why. It violates some of the basic rights of any sapient being, those being freewill and control over their body. That's why.
If you want to be a pony, sure, fine, it's your choice, your body, and there's no harm done. However, Alex doesn't want to be a pony. Therefore there are some fundamental moral principles being broken by forcing him to become one against his will. "Cool" or not.
5115374 Well let's just say I'm not a fan of "human turns into a pony" stories. That's all.
Because there is literally no other place where he could've appeared
5116328 I know. But in the end I just felt he had a point. The fact that the ponies are smaller than humans doesn't bother me and I have no qualms on making them larger just for the sake storytelling. But at the same time I view them to be just big enough to be physically ridden on if the situation called for it, whether the human is adult or young adult. Like a medium sized motorcycle
5116936 Is there an option 'E'?
5117443 The ponies aren't being 'evil', they are merely being ignorant on the fact their ideas may or may not be as good as they believe. They simply act out how anyone would in a situation like this. Also, Alex is being somewhat of an idiot, thinking that running away and not sit down and talk solves everything.
If I wanted to include someone truly evil, I think Trixie and Gilda would be a much bigger threat to Alex than any.
Since when did anything involve Pinkie Pie make sense?
The song and the whole anybody/anypony thing was something that I just made up because I needed Pinkie to be distracted by something Originally I didn't plan on using it in a song at all, but in the end felt that I should at least try something original instead of just randomly picking a song from the show.
5117629 I know, right?
5116467 Thank you
And it's Sir
5116242 I think you mean Wake Up. See This. What Do?. That one's pretty darn silly, and it's comment-driven.
5117855 that human alright butt he will or suppose to loose it eventually
5117453 I never said that I think he should turn into a pony, I like the idea of the whole thing and seeing how Alex deals with his problems. I wouldn't want to be a pony either.
5117521 I don't Want him to turn into a pony either and I don't think the author is going in that direction with the story, so that's good.
5116936 I'm betting that She'll try and force him to stay and tell her about Earth fashion customs (since we always have clothes and ponies don't)