• Published 5th Oct 2014
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Get Him! - TJHoofer



A human named Alex suddenly finds himself in Equestria, without knowing how or why. The only thing he does know, is that everypony wants to get him.

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Chapter 2: The Great Apple Chase

Chapter 2: The Great Apple Chase


Alex leaned onto the fence and stared into the vast apple orchard. He couldn’t help but marvel at the size of the apples that grew on the trees. They were huge! All plump and most likely juicy. He heard his stomach growling. The chase through the woods had made him hungry, and he didn’t have any food on him. Had he realized he was going to be blasted into a strange world with talking unicorns and dragons, he would have packed a big lunch. He knew the apples belonged to somebody, possibly an apple farmer. Only a farmer's love and care could produce such impressive apples, and he most certainly didn’t want to steal any.
He decided to follow the fence. Hopefully it would lead him to the farmhouse, and maybe they could spare him an apple or two…

Just then, he heard voices approaching from behind. It sounded like two female voices, cheerfully talking to one another. ‘What luck!’ Alex thought. ‘Maybe they can help me? Tell me where I am and…’ His eyes widened and his smile faded. He quickly climbed the fence, headed for the nearest apple tree and climbed it like a monkey on adrenaline. Through the safety of the leaves he watched as the voices drew nearer. Coming down the road and passing by him, were two ponies. One mint green unicorn with green and white mane and a lyre on her flank and the other a cream coated normal pony with a two-toned pink and blue mane with candy on her flank. He stayed silent as they pranced by, still talking cheerfully with no suspicion of having seen or heard him.

‘More ponies? More TALKING ponies?!?’ Alex suddenly had a grim feeling about this. 'If there were more ponies that could talk and use magic, then…' He looked in the direction of the nearby town and realization hit him like a ton of bricks. It was a PONY TOWN!

“I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN WHEN I SAW THAT SIGN THAT SAID ‘PONYVILLE’ ON IT!!!” he yelled as he gestured his hand towards a nearby sign pointing towards town, clearly saying ‘Ponyville’.

He frowned. All that time trying to avoid getting caught and he was going to find help in the one place Twilight was going to take him to. He hung his head inn grief. It probably wouldn’t have mattered anyway. If there was one town with ponies, then there was probably another town just like it. He solemnly picked a nearby apple and took a bite. “Chomp!”
‘Maybe even a city…’ he shuddered at the thought as he realized how screwed he was. He was a human in a world of ponies. There was no way he… “Mm! Juicy!” He licked his lips as he enjoyed the taste of the apple he was eating. It was the best apple he had ever eaten! Hungry as he was, it didn’t take long for him to finish his first apple and quickly picked another one. It was so heavenly sweet that it put all other apples he knew about to shame.
‘Maybe this place isn’t so bad…’ he thought as he leaned back against the tree, enjoying his second helping. ‘I think I really could…’

“HEY!”

Alex was startled as he suddenly heard a voice call up to him from below.

“AND JUS’ WHAT DO YA THINK YER DOIN’ IN MAH APPLE TREE?”

Alex looked down and saw another female pony. A normal orange mare wearing a cowboy hat, with long hay colored mane, three red apples on her flank and sporting a southern accent.

“Well?” She tapped her hoof impatiently.

Alex glanced back at his half eaten apple and swallowed as he realized what he had just done. He dropped it and it landed right in front of the pony’s hooves. She looked at the half eaten apple before glaring back at him.

“Hehe… Sorry.” he smiled apologetically.

“Yer trespassin’ in the Apple Family orchard stranger! Who pray tell are ya an’…” Her eyes switched from annoyed to curious. “…what are ya?” She slowly backed away a bit to get a better look through the leaves. She gasped as she realized that it wasn’t some thieving pony she had cornered.
*GASP!* YA AIN’T NO PONY!” her voice echoed through the orchard.

“Sssssh!!” Alex frantically shushed Applejack and looked around. There was a tense moment of silence, with a random apple falling suddenly to the ground.

Hearing nothing else, Alex drew a relieved sigh. “Whew! I don’t think she heard…”

“Um… Who?” Applejack had gotten over her shock at seeing Alex and was now curious. Who was this apelike creature that sat in her tree and eating her apples? “Em… Wont’cha come down? Ah ain’t mad at ya or anythin’.”

“I don’t know…” Alex looked back down at her with doubt in his eyes. After what happened in the forest, he didn’t feel quite safe being near any pony. Even though she had no horn, it didn’t mean she was no less threatening. “Are you going to turn me in or something?”

“Ah won’t turn ya in.” She assured him. “But ya did eat them apples, so ya gonna have to pay for ‘em.”

“Um… How much for two apples?”

“Two Bits.”

Alex had money, but since he now was in a different world, the currency in his pockets was probably worthless. He had to make it up to her somehow. “I don’t have any… …Bits… But I will pay you back, I promise.”

“Jus’ come down. Ah won’t bite ya.” Alex eventually got the courage to climb down. Landing right in front of Applejack, she now got a much better look at him. He was taller than her, her head reaching just above his waist. “Now where in tarnation are mah manners..?” She raised her hoof and grabbed Alex’s hand, giving him the hand- I mean… ‘hoofshake’ of a lifetime.

“Name’s Applejack! Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres, home of the best apples in all Equestria. We grow apples for everythin’ apple related. From apple pie to apple cider. Apple crumble to apple fritters. Apple sauce n' apple butter. Hay even apple core.” she snickered “That there last one was a joke.” She mentally admitted it wasn’t a good one.
She let go off Alex’s hand, which was still shaking as he tried to regain control over it. “Now, who are ya? For that matter, y’ still ain’t told me what ya were doin’ in mah apple tree?”

“I’m Alex. I’m a human and I was hiding.”

“Hidin’? What in tarnation fer?”

“I ran into this unicorn in the woods. She and her dragon wanted to capture me…”

‘Unicorn n’ a dragon?’ Applejack got a feeling she knew whom Alex was talking about. “Twilight?”

“You know her?”

“Darn tootin. She’s one of mah best friends.” she smiled. Alex now got worried. If she was friends with Twilight, she would probably tell her about meeting him.

“Please don’t tell her where I am! She’s after me!”

Applejack blinked before smiling. “Now why would little ol’ Twi be after ya?” Realization then hit her and she moved a bit closer, glaring at him. “Y’ didn’t do anythin’ to her, did ya?” Alex gulped hearing the threatening tone in her voice.

“No! I didn’t do anything, I swear! She’s just after me!”

Looking into his eyes, Applejack could tell he wasn’t lying. This only puzzled her. Nopony would ever be after somepony unless that pony had done something… Or was important… Now that she thought about it, she realized that Alex was somepony she had never seen before.

“Y’ ain’t from around here, are ya..?” She cocked her eyebrow.

“No. I’m from another world. I came by ‘Lord-knows-what’ and just found myself in the forest. I’ve being trying to find out just where I am exactly and…”

After hearing the words ‘another world’, Applejack suddenly got lost in her own thoughts. Twilight was after this human. This human was from another world. This would mean he was really important. Maybe even worth something?
She suddenly had an idea. She started to envision herself at the Ponyville Market. Only this time she wasn’t selling apples...

~***~

“Step right up, foalks!” She shouted, drawing the attention of ponies all around. She was standing on a stage complete with scene curtains, looking like some traveling showpony, wearing her cowboy hat and a Dixieland outfit with a cane. “Step right up! Come and behold the most incredible, most breathtakin’, perhaps the most amazing thing in all Equestria!” She trotted back and forth across the stage, facing the audience. “It walks! It talks! It ain’t got NO HOOVES! NO PAWS and NO CLAWS! It ain’t a pony, a Diamond Dog, nor a dragon. Hay it ain’t even a Ditzy!”

“Yay! Wohoo!” Ditzy cheered from the audience.

All ponies, colts and mares alike, muttered in disbelief and curiosity to one another before again turning their attention towards Applejack.

“Ah ain’t kiddin’ ya foalks! Back here be the most amazing critter yall ever see. Straight out of this here world! Only one Bit per view! Step right up!” Applejack watched as ponies emptied their Bits in a barrel that got fuller and fuller by the minute.
There was a drumroll as a spotlight suddenly appeared on the stage curtain. All ponies watched with anticipation. At the sound of a cymbal, the curtains were pulled away, revealing a smiling Alex as he rode on a unicycle, trying to keep his balance as he joggled three apples, each of different color.

All ponies gasped in awe and cheered as they stomped their hooves in excitement.

Alex’s performance went on for only a few short minutes before he finally lost his balance and landed face down on the stage. The audience gasped in shock, wondering if he was okay. Their concerns were quickly cast aside as Alex, with his face still planted on the floor, raised his hand in a ‘thumbs up’. The audience cheered.

“And that ain’t all foalks!” Applejack announced while entering the stage as the curtains dropped. “For extra two Bits, yall have the experience of watchin’ ‘im jogglin’, while ridin’ his unicycle…” she signaled the curtains to be raised and a spotlight was turned on. “…jumping through a ring of fire over a fillypool of apple cider!”

Ponies cheered as more Bits were thrown into the barrel while Applejack looked on, smiling with content as they crowd began to chant;

“APPLEJACK! APPLEJACK! APPLEJACK…”

~***~

“Applejack..? Applejack!” Alex shouted, startling the daydreaming mare.

“Uh? Wha? Oh! Sorry ‘bout that.” Applejack said apologetically with her orange freckled cheeks blushing.

“Something wrong? It looked like you were miles away.”

“Well… Ah…” Applejack couldn’t lie. She knew she had found a goldmine. Or rather, a golden apple! And an apple like Alex could bring in a lot of Bits for Sweet Apple Acres. With the money, she could finally help out her family and get them the things they wanted. She just needed to stake her claim. Rubbing her hoof against her chin, she smiled with a sly grin.
“Y’ said ya wanted to pay me back for them apples, right?” Applejack asked. Alex nodded, completely unaware to what was about to happen as she reached for something inside her Stetson. “Ah know of a way ya could do that.”

“Really?” Alex smiled. “Like what? Pick apples? Fetch water? Clean the porch? Wash the dishes? I can do just about any…” Applejack suddenly pulled out a lasso and threw it over Alex, tying him up. “...thing? Hey! What?”

“Jus’ come with me sugar, and ya’ll be makin’ me Bits in no time.” Applejack started walking towards the farmhouse, holding the end of her rope in her mouth with a tied up Alex at the other end in tow.

“I don’t understand. What’s going on?” Alex asked worried.

“Yer gonna make us rich, sugar.” she smiled. “I’m gonna show you off to everypony in Ponyville. Ah’ll teach ya how to do tricks and together we’ll make a fortune.”

Alex cringed as he realized what was happening. Applejack was going to show him of like some circus animal. To perform demeaning and possibly dangerous tricks; like joggling while jumping through a ring of fire on a unicycle across a pool of apple cider!

While Alex did like the circus, he did not wish to be part of it. He had to escape this! The rope around his waist wasn’t that tight and he could wriggle himself out. He just needed to keep Applejack distracted.

“So… You farm apples, right?”

Applejack's ears perked. “Darn tootin!”

“Then you must know everything about apples, right?” He hoped this idea would work.

“Eeyup! Sure do!” she smiled. “Ah know all there is about apples.”

“Well then…” He thought for a moment before asking his question. “Surely an apple expert like yourself knows EVERY apple there is, right? Can you name all of them?”

“Sure can! Ah know ‘em like Ah know my own family.” She started to think for a moment. “There’s Adams Pearmain, Aia Ilu, Airlie Red Flesh, Akane…”

As she began to recite all 7.500 cultivars of apples (or family members), Alex seized this moment to escape. He started to wriggle and flex his arm muscles, hoping to wear the rope out so much it would loosen, while keeping pace with his captor. She had just gotten to the Howgate Wonder when Alex finally managed to pull the worn out rope off him. He gently dropped the rope to the ground and snuck away, watching as Applejack continued towards her farmhouse, completely unaware as she continued to recite apple after apple while pulling an empty rope.

“…Malinda, Mantet, Margil, MayQueen- MACINTOSH!” Applejack exclaimed as she noticed her big brother Big Macintosh. The big red stallion walked over to her with a rather puzzled look on his face. “Hey there Big Mac, y’ll never gis what Ah jus’ found!” she beamed with pride.
Big Mac was about to say something before Applejack cut him off. “Now before y’ say anythin’, remember that one time Ah said Ah would one day find a golden apple?”

“Eeyup?” the red stallion slowly answered.

“An’ remember y’ said that y’d eat yer harness if Ah did?”

“Uh… Eeyup..?”

“Well Ah hope ya skipped lunch, cause today Ah finally found the ‘golden apple’ that will set us and our farm up fer life!” she closed her eyes and proudly gestured her hoof to the rope behind her. “Ain’t he a beaut?”

“Nnope!”

Applejack blinked confusingly at Big Mac and then looked behind her. Her rope fell to the ground as she gawked at the realization that Alex was gone.

TARNATION!” she yelled. “Wait here! Back in a sec!” Big Mac just stood there as she galloped away.

Alex ran as fast as he could through the orchard. He knew there was only a matter of time before Applejack realized what had happened. He just had to reach the fence and then he would be…

HOLD ON THERE CONSARNIT!!

Alex looked behind him and cringed as he saw Applejack racing after him and gaining. He realized he could not outrun her on foot and made a dash for the nearest, tallest tree he could find. He climbed the tree with great speed, not stopping until he had reached the top.

“Get down here ya varmint!” She demanded. She reared up against the tree trunk, trying to get closer. “Ya promised y’d pay me back for them apples!”

“Sorry, but I just realized I had somewhere else to be!”

“Don’t make me come up there n’ getcha’!” she hammered her hoof at the tree.

“I’d like to see you try!” Alex taunted and stuck out his tongue. “Pttt~!” The tree was too tall for her to climb, especially with hooves and Applejack knew this. Fuming, she pushed herself away from the tree and walked away grumbling.
Feeling victorious, Alex just leaned back against the tree and relaxed.

THUD!

Suddenly, the entire tree started to shake. Alex quickly grabbed a branch and peered down as he saw Applejack bucking the tree with her hind legs. From the way the tree shook, it was obvious to Alex that Applejack was pretty strong. This was made evident as apples started to fall off the tree due to the powerful vibrations.

THUD! THUD!

“Sure hate to do this to ya sugar! But if y’ won’t come down…” She bucked the tree again, even harder this time.

THUD!!

“…Then Ah’ll buck ya down!” The tree shook violently, dropping every apple on the ground. Applejack continued to buck the tree, showing no sign of being tired. By now the tree was completely free of apples, aside from one non-apple that still struggled to hang on. “This oughta do it!”

THUD!!!

Applejack made one more buck. It shook the tree with tremendous force, finally forcing Alex to let go of the branch.

‘This is it!’ Alex thought, closing his eyes as he hit the ground.

CRASH!

Any moment now Applejack would be all over him with her rope and tie him up like some helpless calf. It took him only a moment to realize that Applejack was not tying him up. Nor did she try and tackle him.

“Oooh….”

Alex suddenly realized he was lying on something lumpy and glanced down to see that he had fallen on Applejack, knocking the wind right out of her. He felt her stirring as she started to regain consciousness.
“Eh… Sorry… Bye-bye!” Alex quickly jumped off her and ran. Applejack struggled to quickly get back on her hooves and galloped after him.

“GET BACK HERE!”

Alex ran through the field with the cowboy mare on his heels. He tried to lose her by taking sharp turns and dodging past one apple tree after another, but Applejack proved to be just as agile. To her this 'obstacle course' was a piece of apple pie. As he was finally nearing the fence, Alex was suddenly bypassed by Applejack as she skidded to a halt in front of him and blocked his path. Alex came to a screeching halt, yelped and made a sharp turn back towards the farm.

“Ye-Haw! Get along little doggie!” yelled Applejack, taking quite a joy in this chase. She was literally ‘herding’ him back to the farmhouse, cutting him off whenever he tried to deter from the path. With only a few feet remaining, Alex was exhausted from all the intense running and was forced to stop next to a hollow apple tree to catch his breath. He panted heavily as he tried to come up with some kind of escape plan when Applejack appeared, her eyes gleaming in triumph. “Ah gotcha now!” She jumped straight at him. Alex instinctively closed his eyes and ducked as the mare came at him at full speed.

THUD!

He started hearing muffled sounds. He glanced up and saw that Applejack had missed him and gotten her head stuck in the hollow tree. Alex seized this opportune moment and ran off.

Trying now to run across the farm, Alex suddenly saw a big red stallion with a large green apple slice on his flank sitting on the porch, with a surprised look on his face. Searching desperately for another way to escape, Alex saw the barn and quickly made his way past the open doors and closed them.

Using all her strength, Applejack managed to finally pull her head out of the tree. Lying on the ground somewhat dazed, her eyes focused just enough to see Alex as he dashed into the barn. She smiled as she realized that Alex was now trapped. There was no other way out of that barn besides the way he came in. She quickly got up and raced towards it.

Inside the barn, Alex let out a disgruntled groan as he realized there was no back door, nor a window he could climb out. He peered out of the small crack in barn door, and saw Applejack approaching. His eyes darted frantically around the barn. All he saw was ropes, harnesses, tools, shovels… This didn't look good...

Big Mac watched silently as his sister raced towards the barn. She stopped just in front of the door and knocked on it several times with her hoof. “Ah gotcha trapped now, ya varmint!” she called in. “Ah’m comin’ to getcha!” She opened the barn door, dashed right in and closed it.

What then followed was a loud crash, followed by several other loud and unholy noises. Crashing and tumbling could be heard, along with the sounds of a chicken squawk and a sheep bleat. The barn shook and literary jumped off its foundation for a brief moment. Big Mac watched with a perplexed look on his face as he listened to the yelling and screaming inside while the noises intensified.
The commotion continued until it eventually died down, leaving nothing but an eerie silence in the air. Just then, the barn door slowly opened.

Alex stepped out of the barn, slightly scuffed and bruised but otherwise fine. He drew a relieved and satisfied sigh as he brushed off the dirt and straw from his clothes. He closed the door behind him and was about to leave when he suddenly came face to face with Big Mac.

“Oh!” Big Mac simply stared at him. “Uh.. Hi!” Alex said nervously. “Um... Applejack’s inside…” he smiled while pointing at the door with his thumb. Big Mac eyed the door before focusing back on Alex. “Well, see ya around…” Alex casually placed his hands in his pockets and calmly walked away as he whistled a fake western tune.

Big Mac simply stood and watched as this strange creature just walked away. He then turned his attention to the barn and slowly ventured inside. Peering in, he saw the state it was in. It was a mess! Tools and equipment were thrown everywhere, with ropes and harnesses lying around in complete bundles. He then noticed something hanging at the back of the barn, dangling back and forth. Trotting calmly towards it, he stared with curiosity and confusion at his sister as she hung upside down from the support beam, all roped up like a rodeo steer with a piece of rope muffled clumsily around her mouth. She glared at Big Mac with a look of dissatisfaction and humiliation as he pursed his lips and fought to stifle a giggle.

“Not one word out of ya...”

*****

Alex sprinted across the apple orchard before reaching the fence, leaped over it and dashed off into the nearest woods. He didn’t stop until he had reached a safe distance away from the farm. By now he was tired. That little exciting tussle inside the barn had begun to take its toll. Reaching a clearing, he finally collapsed on the grass. He rolled onto his back and looked up towards the sky. He watched as clouds drifted slowly across the skies while hearing the calm chirping of birds in the trees.
‘Why did I come here? How did I get here? WHAT IS THIS PLACE?’ he mentally shouted.

He closed his eyes with a tired sigh and just lay there on the ground, enjoying the brief peace and tranquility of nature.

Moments later, he suddenly felt a shadow above him. Thinking first it was a cloud he paid it no heed, until he realized it wasn’t moving. He opened his eyes and noticed a dark figure standing over him. Looking at it more closely, he noticed the pony features…

“Um… Hello..?”

Alex shrieked and bolted up away from the pony, causing in turn her to squeak and recoil in fear. At first he thought it was Applejack, but after quickly noticing the sweet tone in the mare’s voice, it became clear that it wasn’t. He scuttled further away for a bit before finally stopping, never taking his eyes off her.

“Oh! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you…” she said very apologetically.

Alex was speechless. His eyes wide as he beheld the new pony in front of him.

‘She’s FLYING!?!’

Author's Note:

Looks like Applejack is going to have to wait a little while longer for her 'Golden Apple'. She won't give up though...

And now it looks like Alex has stumbled into yet another pony. A pegasus by the sound of it. Wonder who it could be? Will she make money out of him too, or is Alex luck going to change for the better?


Note: Writing a Southern accent was kinda hard but I hope I nailed it just enough.