Children of Nothing

by Featherspark

The words of shadows

Once his speech was over, the Colonel left. Two of his officers stayed behind as he and his team headed towards a large stony building near the edge of the cliff to our right.

The officers, a dark green unicorn mare and a pegasus stallion as black as his armour took a few steps forward in order to face us properly.

“All right recruits,” started the stallion, taking his helmet off and tucking it under his wing. “I am Lieutenant Onyx Flash, and this,” he gestured towards the green mare. “Is my colleague, Lieutenant Ash Leaf. We will escort you to your living quarters where you will be given basic instructions to follow until the arrival of your designated Sargent.”

The pegasus nodded to the mare before turning to his right and heading straight towards the mountain.

Lieutenant Leaf cocked her head, indicating us to follow and departed at a brisk trot the same way her colleague had. “Come on rookies, time for a tour.” She shouted back, barely giving us a second to react.

We followed, but only as we started nearing the mountain’s base did I spot the big double doors seemingly carved straight out of the stone itself.

The base was quite large, dotted here and there with the same stone structures as the one the Colonel had left to along with the vast field we had been standing on since our arrival.

I kept looking around in awe but something puzzled me; there were almost no ponies out here, only a few soldiers on rounds and some personnel working on a couple of sky chariots near the entrance building. There was clearly not enough indoor space to house what I’d heard to be thousands of soldiers here. Where were they all?

The answer only became clear when we were almost at the foot of the mountain.

Scratch that, those doors weren’t large, they were huge.

Easily wide enough to let a dozen ponies walk out abreast, the great stone slabs rose before us making me crane my neck up to get a better view.

Lieutenant Flash stopped a few paces from the main gate and turned to us once more.

“Welcome to the Canterlot military base.” He declared grandly with a wide swoop of his hoof towards the mountain. “Your new home.”

The doors suddenly groaned deeply as they slowly swung open, letting out a powerful blast of warm air.

Very dramatic Mr. Flash, nicely done.

I barely finished that thought as we stepped inside.

My jaw dropped.

This was by far the largest hall I had ever seen. Hundreds of soldiers pranced by in orderly groups, trotting in unison as pegasi whizzed overhead before disappearing into narrow passages dug high up in the walls. The air was thick with the reverberating thuds of hooves on stone and the shouts of officers leading their troops. There were ponies everywhere.

I tilted my head in every direction, trying to take in as much as possible. Great crystals hung from the ceiling, embedded in the rock and washed everything in a pale white glow that mimicked natural light almost to perfection. Rows upon rows of flags had also been hung halfway up the walls and fluttered gently in the ambient breeze. The Equestrian flag was ever present, but there were others; the Crystal Empires’ could be seen here and there along with those of every province in the country. I could even make out, although briefly, the light blue of the Dappled Shore emblem, with its leaping, teal sea-pony curling around itself to form a perfect circle.
Needless to say, I was dumbstruck.

After letting us gawk for a while, our officers led us through a corridor on the left. We walked for a while through the maze-like building, during which they briefly showed us the mess hall, classrooms and even, to my surprise, the indoor training fields.

Finally, after passing through a few more narrow passageways, they led us to a small room lined on both sides with rows of bunk beds.

“This is where you will sleep and, if you wish, spend any of the free time you may have.” Lieutenant Flash told us as we filled in, looking around.

The quarters were simple; a double locker to the right of each set of beds and a reading lamp above each bunk. I also noticed that he walls had been roughly carved out of the stone, but, to my surprise, it did not feel as cold as I had expected for a fortress dug straight out of the mountain.

Behind us Lieutenant Leaf announced “These barracks are co-ed, so if I hear about a single broken rule, any fooling around, any slip-up in conduct,” the look in her eyes enough the send chills down our spines. “You will have to answer to me, and trust me when I say this; you really don’t want that to happen.”

The green mare left us to process the information for a few seconds before going on. “Each of you may store your belongings in the locker to the side of your bed. For those of you with barding, gear down and lock up anything you have on your person now. Where you will bunk is up to you.” Was all she added, before turning around and heading out, quickly disappearing out of sight.

Onyx Flash remained a while longer. “Sargent Silver Lance will be with you shortly to issue armour to any of those who do not own any and will then escort you to the showers and barber for your mane-cut. You will report to the mess hall at 1900 hours for dinner. Training starts at 0700 tomorrow.” Then, he too made a move to leave, but stepped out the door, I heard him give us a quiet ‘Good luck’ before vanishing like the green Lieutenant had moments before him.

We all let out a collective sigh of relief, happy to be left to our own devices for the first time since we had arrived.

Disorganized shuffling ensued as all of us started picking out beds.

The pegasi that had seemed to know each other had picked the bunks to the far left of the room, keeping together as much as possible, while the others just chose at random.

Smoke gave me a quick nudge. “So?” he asked. “Want the top bunk, or bottom?”

Seems like we’re sharing then.

“Top.” I answered quickly, which seemed to amuse him.

I frowned at him. “What?”

“Oh nothing.” He grinned. “Just seems like you feathery folk always like no nest high up.”

I shoved him with a hoof but couldn’t hold back a small smile, which made the big stallion laugh as we headed towards the closest set of beds.

I started to shrug down my armour, quickly followed by Smoke.

We both opened our respective lockers and neatly stored our barding inside. There was a hook to hang a chest plate and the bottom part of the closet was layered with thick padding to place our shoes on along with a small drawer to store any personal items.

Once the heavy set carefully stored and my saddlebag tucked into the drawer, I shook myself vigorously, messing up my mane even more than usual. Well, at least I won’t have to worry about that anymore.

Ah, it felt good to stretch without all that metal restraining me.

Hearing an odd, creaky sound to my left I quickly glanced at Smoke. He was testing the bed with his hoof, gradually putting more weight onto it. At least the frame seemed solid enough that it didn’t so much as bend when he finally sat on it, hunching low to avoid knocking his head on the underside of my bunk.

He turned to look at me with a silly grin, bouncing a few times, making me roll my eyes at him.

Although, I couldn’t stop my laughter as he tried to lie down fully but realized, with a confused and alarmed look, that the bed was much too short to allow him that, forcing him into an obviously uncomfortable foetal position.

“Aaah, Celesta damn it!” he groaned as he uncurled and sat on the edge of the bed. “This happens every time.”

I settled beside him and patted his shoulder. “Well, just think of it this way; at least you have a bed to sleep on now, because in a few weeks, we sure as Tartarus won’t ever be that comfortable.”

“Yeah, speak for yourself. Right now I think the ground seems better.” Smoke muttered, pouting slightly.

“Hey, no one is stopping you. Make yourself at home.” I teased, waving my back hoof at the floor.

“Har har, get of my bed.” He shoved me off, making us both chuckled as he slid to his hooves beside me.

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been so friendly with another pony, it was strange, but also nice. Smoke just seemed to have such a gentle calmness about him that made me feel right at ease, which was surprising considering he was possibly the biggest, toughest looking stallion I’d ever seen in my life. Nevertheless, in the hour or so we had known each other; it seemed to me like we would be sticking with each other.

The two of us chatted happily for a while but fell silent as our attention shifted to the quarter’s door, hearing clipped hoof-steps coming our way.

Those who had been on their bunks quickly hopped down and joined the hastily forming line and faced the door, knowing full well to expect Sergeant Lance to walk in any second.

And so he did. The earth-pony Sargent wore no armour, only a band on his front right leg bearing the two star insignia of his rank and sported the same standard military-issued buzz cut as the two lieutenants had. His dark brown hide had a pristine lustre to it along with his two-toned silver mane, making him almost the sole embodiment of his name, his spear head cutie mark adding to the overall effect.

“Atten-tion!” the stallion bellowed as soon as he was through the door.

With a clap of our front hooves we straightened, chin raised and chest pumped as we stood to attention before him.

The brown stallion scanned us with inexpressive eyes.

“As you may have been informed, I am Sargent Silver Lance.” He started pacing before us as he spoke. “I will be in charge of supervising you during your training and will continue doing so for those of you who move on to become privates.” He stopped as he reached the middle of the line once more. “You will address me as ‘Sir’ at all times; anything else will result in immediate punishment. Am I clear?”

“Sir, yes Sir!” came our collective shout.

“Good. Now, follow me.” He said as he led us out of the sleeping quarters and deep into the base.

After a few winding turns we arrived in a wing labelled ‘Sanitation’ where the Stallion instructed us on the steps to follow.

“First, all of you hit the showers. Keep clean at all times, same goes for your gear. I will be performing regular routine checks, so if I find anypony not following this simple rule, expect yourselves to be slopping up every toilet in this base.” He glared before going on. “Secondly, anypony without barding, report to the armoury and get your gear.” His head darted towards the end of the hallway where we could see a sign indicating the room. “Finally, you will head to the barber for a mane-cut. Once all that is done, you may use the remaining time you have before dinner as you will.” He paused, making sure his words were understood and gave us a quick nod. “At ease.” He said before turning and walking away, leaving us to follow his instructions.

Once the Sargent out of sight we headed for the showers. Smoke and I split up, heading for the areas assigned to our gender.

Nothing much could be said about the shower room other than it was… a shower room. Tilled from floor to ceiling, two rows of nozzles on either side and one at the back along with small, chest high panels to separate each individual stall, no, nothing much.

Getting into a stall, I turned the power on. Once under the hot, steaming water, I suddenly felt my whole body relax. I looked around to the other mares in our squad and saw seven in total; four pegasi, including myself, two earth-ponies and the little blue unicorn. All of them seemed to range around the same age group even though their build varied greatly; seeing as the earth-ponies had a much more sturdy build than any of us.

I turned my head back towards the shower nozzle, letting the steaming water do its job and rubbed soap into my mane and coat. Hot water at last, Celestia be praised.

Once I was done I rinsed myself thoroughly and shook myself from head to tail, getting rid of the excess water. I was still damp, but that was nothing a good towelling could not deal with.

Only three of us were still in the shower room, the rest having left a few minutes prior, leaving me with a strong looking, yellow earth-pony and the unicorn mare. I watched the later step out from under the stream of water, her midnight-blue mane hanging heavy and straight on the side of her neck. With a quick glance and hoping not to get caught, I noted the cutie mark on her flank; a bright golden quill topped with a red and orange flame.

I didn’t have much time to wonder about the little mare’s talent since sudden plumes of steam started billowing around the unicorn as her horn glowed, sending a short-lived spark of panic through me. Fortunately, after a few seconds, I realized that she had only been using her magic to evaporate the water out of her coat, leaving her as dry as when she had walked in. Huh, that’s pretty useful.

“Hey!” I trotted to the unicorn’s side. “Mind doing that for me?” I asked, giving her my best smile.

She seemed confused for a second and even looked around to be sure it was her I was talking to, but understanding soon dawned in her eyes, although she was still looking at me a bit wearily.

“Oh, ah… sure. Hold still.” She instructed as her horn started shining with a pale blue glow.

I suddenly felt my whole body start to heat up and was quickly engulfed in puffy clouds of steam (Whoa that felt nice) and was quickly left feeling warm and dry. I felt the magic recede and shook myself with delight, making my fur fluff up and my mane go back to its usual unruly state.

“Thanks, that’s an interesting trick.” I could feel myself grinning like an idiot. “My name’s Orion Featherspark, and you?” I asked.

The small mare took a step back, looking at her hooves. “Rain Dancer.” Was all she said before looking away. Maybe she’s shy. I mentally shrugged.

I was still smiling when I trotted out. “Nice to meet you, Rain.” I called back. “And thanks again.”

Smoke was waiting for me in the hallway, fully dried. Do all unicorns know how to do that?

I spied him looking up and down my body with a puzzled look.

“What?” I cocked my head at him.

“Did you not shower?” he asked.

Oh yeah, I’m all dry. “No, I did. Rain Dancer steamed the water off me with her magic.”

“That was nice of her.” The big stallion turned towards the far end of the corridor and bobbed his chin at a sign that said ‘Barber’. “We should go, almost everypony has already.”
We both made our way to our destination and walked in. A heavily built unicorn was sweeping piles of multi-coloured mane into a corner when he spied us trotting in.

“Have a seat. You first.” He pointed at Smoke.

The aforementioned hopped onto the stool sitting in the centre of the room as the barber levitated a magically operated mane clipper and got down to business. In a matter of seconds nothing much was left of the plum stallions’ mane but a short, flat topped ridge of hair from the nape of his neck up to his ears although his forelock was left mostly untouched. The Barber then took a pair of scissors and proceeded, with a few quick snips, to take almost half of Smoke’s tail off.

“Alright, done.” He said while brushing away strands of main from Smoke’s shoulders and back. “Next!”

I walked to the stool, the floor around it still littered with the long, pure-white strands of Smokes’ mane.

The barber quickly cleaned the clipper and administered the same treatment to me. It made me feel oddly naked to not be able to feel the weight of my mane on my neck. I had been short, sure, but not that short. At least I wouldn’t look like I had just rolled out of bed all the time anymore, I thought. Although, as I watched pieces of two-toned green mane fall lazily to the floor I felt a bit sad. Messy or not, I liked my mane. When it came to my tail, the barber barely cut anything and only made the end of it a little straighter with a few snips of his scissors.

“There.” He said, seeming bored. “If there’s anypony else waiting, tell them to come in.”

The two of us nodded and walked out.

The yellow earth-pony mare and Rain Dancer were waiting by the door.

“He says to go on in.” I told them, giving Rain a quick smile, but the little mare lowered her head with a frown as soon as our eyes met and slipped inside to where the barber was waiting.

“What’d I say?” I looked up at Smoke in confusion. He shrugged with an ‘I don’t know’ expression on his face.

Beside us the yellow mare looked at me, slightly puzzled.

“What? What’d I do?” but she just shook her head and headed in after Rain.

“Wh…?” I stared wide eyed at Smoke, but the big stallion looked as lost as I felt.

We were back in the sleeping quarters and I was looking at my new mane-cut in the small mirror on my locker with a critical eye.

“So, want to go check this place out?” I asked him after having run a hoof through it at least a dozen times, enjoying the soft bristly feel.

The big stallion nodded enthusiastically, having obviously been waiting for me to ask.

It made me smile to think of how different Smoke had seemed to me not a few hours ago. He had looked like the type of pony who would have caved in your face for looking at him the wrong way, but now I saw him for what he really was; a big goof with an even bigger heart and an easy smile. He must have just been putting on an act back on the field, trying to seem tough. That or he’d just been nervous. Either way, I was glad we had connected.

The two of us started towards the door but stopped at the sound of somepony nervously clearing their throat behind us. We both turned and looked at the young earth-pony stallion standing behind us, casting us uneasy glances.

I stared at him for a moment. He was obviously just out of adolescence, judging by his long, awkward legs, like a colt who had grown much too fast. His black mane, trimmed just like ours, looked slightly off on him. In addition, his light bluish-grey coat was tousled, as if it hadn't quite decided in which direction to grow yet.

“Yes?” I asked the young stallion as I cast a sideways glance at Smoke, who just shrugged.

“I… Ah… Uh…” he stammered, fiddling with his front hooves, looking ready to bolt.

Smoke gave the young grey stallion an encouraging nod but it seemed to have the opposite effect.

The stallion jumped at Smoke’s sudden motion and in a half-yell, half-squeak, blurted, “I’m Felix!”

His unexpected yelp made me start and Smoke look very much startled. Other ponies had turned to stare at the sudden commotion but quickly lost interest.

On the other hoof, the recently self-introduced Felix just seemed to want to crawl into a dark corner and hide.

We stared at each other in surprise, but quickly found ourselves battling the laughter that threatened to bubble out of us.

Smoke made his way to the twitchy stallions’ side and wrapped a massive hoof around his shoulders.

“Ok kiddo, relax. We don’t bite.” He gave me a quick glance. “Well maybe she does, I don’t know yet.” He went on, making me huff.

Felix seemed to take Smoke’s advice and relaxed considerably, looking less like he was about to burst into tears.

“Secondly,” The plum stallion continued in a gentle voice. “My name is Smoke Gem, and my friend here is Orion Featherspark.”

Felix gave us both a quick nod in turn.

“So,” I asked. “Did you want something?” I gave him the easiest smile I could muster and walked to his other side.

I seemed I was doing that a lot today, smiling I mean. What was it with these ponies?

It took a few seconds for the buck to answer my question. “I… It’s just… I just… wanted to know if I… Ah… could come with you.” He quickly stuttered. “To visit the base, I mean.”

“Aaah, was that all?” I mused. “Of course. Why not?”

With that out of the way, all three of left the sleeping quarters and headed towards the main hall.

Felix seemed to know almost everything about the base, to our surprise, and as we toured he would point out rooms or machinery and explain every single one of their functions. The grey stallion seemed to slowly lose all of his inhibitions as he talked about the base with such passion that both Smoke and I could not help but smile. Felix even answered my silent question about why the place was so warm. He told us that the mountain was riddled with hot springs and how the ponies charged with building the base had cleverly incorporated them in their designs, heating almost everything with a combination hot water running through the walls and magically charged crystals for the larger rooms.

After a while we had seen almost all there was to see and found ourselves back in the now almost empty main hall.

I looked up to the large clock hanging high up on the back wall, its large gears and cogs showing openly; six forty five.

Still a little time left, I needed a better view of this place. With a push from my legs and a strong flap, I was in the air. I swirled and dove a few times in the spacious hall, still amazed by its size. After a little while and hearing a soft ‘Whoa’ From Felix and a mumbled ‘Show off’ from Smoke I carefully fluttered in front of the lip of one of the openings in the left wall.

The passage was narrow. I spread my wings more fully as I flapped, only to realize that their tips would most likely hit either side of the tunnel if I ever flew through. Too narrow.
Unfortunately for me, my wings were bigger than most pegasi. Well, not bigger, longer and narrower, this usually made it more difficult for me to fly through cramped spaces.

Even then, any pegasus would find it difficult to beat their wings in there.

I thought back to when I had first seen the other pegasi fly through them, folding their wings tightly to their sides and simply barrelling in. they must know these passages like the back of their hoof. That was the only explanation. Otherwise they would bash head first into a wall whenever the tunnel took a turn.

That was a dangerous way to travel through the base. The idea sent a shiver of anticipation through me. I do so love a challenge.

I looked down to where the two others stood and saw that a few other ponies were now slowly filling up the hall.

An orange unicorn stallion with a brown mane looked at my two companions then followed their gaze and spotted me in front of the ledge. His eyes went wide as he started shouting. “Hey you! Get down from th…”

“Watch out!” the yelp from deep inside the tunnel was all I heard before a white blur knocked me square in the chest, sending me tumbling backwards into the room.

Twisting my body almost like a cat’s I managed to right myself and spread my wings. Flapping wildly I was able to slow my fall, but the other pegasus was having a much harder time doing just that. My brain barely registered as I veered sharply and bolted towards the flailing mare, just about grabbing her by the scruff of the neck with my teeth before she hit the ground and proceeded to lower her gently.

“Ow ow ow, let go. AGH!” the mare cried as her rump hit the ground with a soft thump. I released my hold on her neck and landed beside her.

I turned to her, ready to apologize but only managed a pathetic wheeze, suddenly realizing just how badly winded I was from the other pegasus hitting me straight in the chest at full speed.

I hung my head and tried to take a breath. From the corner of my eye I spotted Smoke and Felix rushing towards us, closely followed by the orange stallion.

The white mare stared at me with concern. “Hey, you ok?” she asked, rubbing the back of her neck where I had bitten it, her teal and white mane slightly damp in that spot.

I nodded weakly, gasping for air.

With a clattering of hooves all three ponies were by our side.

“Orion…” Felix squeaked in alarm.

“Are you alright?” Smoke bellowed as he skidded to my side.

I nodded again and waved a hoof dismissively. “Dandy, just need to… to catch my breath.”

“Good,” Growled the Orange stallion emerging from behind my companions. “Because now you can explain to me exactly what you were doing just flying outside an exit shoot like that.” He looked furious. “Do you want to get somepony killed?”

“Ah… No, I just wanted to see if my wings fit.” I flushed madly and lowered my head.

“You wan…” the stallion started before bursting out laughing.

My companions and I looked at him, utterly confused at this point. The stallion slowly managed to regain his composure just enough to talk again.

“Oh, you idiot. You could have gotten the both of you seriously hurt.” He said, now smiling broadly. “Are you from the group that arrived today?” he asked, walking to the other mare and helping her up. He quickly checked her head and neck for injuries and seemed satisfied when he found none.

I nodded.

“Well then, know this; the shoots are one way only.” He gestured to the wall as I noticed with a good deal of embarrassment the big red ‘X’ painted beside the tunnel I had been fluttering in front of, along with the green ‘O’ beside the second. “So, next time, try and be a little more careful, all right?”

“Yes Sir!” I said, clapping my front hooves together as I stood to attention.

The orange stallion shook his head. “No need for ‘Sirs’ with me, kid. Just… Just stay out of trouble.”

With that the stallion left, but I had not missed the sadness in his eyes as he had said the last words. What was that all about?

I turned to the others and approached the white pegasus. “I am so sorry about that. I had no idea.”

“Yeah, clearly you didn't.” she mumbled, rubbing her neck.

Oh how I felt like a proper idiot now.

She looked up at me, one eyebrow raised before giving me a cheeky smile. “I guess you owe me now.” The white mare mused; obviously satisfied by the look she managed to get from me.

I… What?

“All right,” Smoke looked to the clock. “No harm done then. But we should get going, it’s almost seven.”

“Oh yeah.” The mare piped up. “Come on, I’m starving.”

The four of us started towards one of the hallways that led to the mess hall.

“The name’s Gale, by the way.” She offered as we walked.

“Smoke Gem. Nice to meet ya.” Said Smoke.

“Orion Featherspark.” I followed. “And sorry again… About earlier.”

And Felix… Said nothing.

The three of us turned to look at the grey stallion who seemed likely to pass out at any moment. Ok, too much excitement and social interaction for one day, it seems.
“That’s Felix, he’s a little shy.” Smoke answered for him.

“Huh, all right then. This way.” Gale shrugged.

It was only a short walk to the mess hall, and already the room was packed with ponies getting their evening meal.

We gathered at the end of the growing line of ponies and each grabbed a tray between our teeth. Except for Smoke, who easily levitated his in front of him with his telekinesis.

Fancy unicorns and their fancy magics.

As we advanced to where the food staff stood we were given a surprisingly wide choice of menus, to which Gale gave us a quick answer; Equestria believed in happy soldiers. Apparently, the more content all of us were, the better we were believed to perform on the battlefield, knowing the country we fought for valued our well-being and cared for us on a more individual level. To me, the explanation made sense, and judging by Smoke’s thoughtful nod, to him as well.

Once all of us seemed satisfied with the contents of our trays we looked around for someplace to sit and enjoy it, but Gale had other plans for us.

“Come on, you’re sitting with us.” She nodded at a table where almost a dozen pegasi were seated.

The three of us looked at each other. I bobbed my shoulders at Smoked, who gave me a quick nod, not seeming to mind, although Felix still looked ready to run off if anypony so much as looked at him too intensely.

Faced with no other obvious choice, the grey stallion followed us as we settled with Gale’s group.

“Alright guys, meet the aerial squad. Aerial squad, meet Smoke, Orion and Felix.” Gale introduced. ‘Hellos’ went around the table as the flyers greeted us. “They’re from the new batch, so play nice.” She told her team.

At that the band chucked and whispered to each other.

A black pegasus with a black and bright-yellow mane looked at us with a smirk. “Welcome to the worst days of your life.”

After the black pegasus, whose name we later learned was Buzz Bright, had given us his dramatic one-liner and received a smack from Gale for his troubles, the three of us had taken rather well to the aerial squad.

The conversation had mostly been lead by Buzz though, bragging about his exploits as a flyer and getting more than a few clips behind the ear form almost all of the other pegasi at the table, enticing a good few laughs.

Once our meal over, the squad had left, heading out for a round of aerial drills that apparently would last until late that night.

With them gone, the three of us had decided to head back to the barracks.

“Those pegasi sure are a lively bunch.” Smoke mused by my side. “That Buzz fellow especially.”

I chuckled at that, that pegasus was quite a piece of work indeed. They were nice though, all of them. One of the youngest, a dark orange stallion named Saffron, had even managed to get Felix talking a little. I glanced at him walking to my left, the poor stallion looked exhausted.

Orion...

“What?” I turned to Smoke, pricking up my ears.

“Uh?” He looked confused for a second. “I didn’t say anything.”

“Oh, sorry. Thought you’d called me.” He shrugged as I shook my head. “Must be hearing things.”

We had decided to take a different route than we had when heading to the mess-hall the first time, wanting to see a bit more of the base before catching some sleep.
The base, we discovered during our talk with the aerial squad, was built on four levels. The first was by far the largest, made to house, train and otherwise fully cater to the soldiers while the second was filled to the brim with offices. The third floor, on the other hoof, was a fully equipped medical facility, complete with operating blocks and a rehab center for injured soldiers. Lastly, the fourth floor, and apparently the smallest, was composed solely of a landing bay for pegasi and sky-chariots alike. I needed to go up there when I had the time, the view must be incredible.

It seemed that we had taken the long route to get back to our quarters, but we were almost there.

“It’s just around the corner.” Smoke informed us after we'd passed the sanitation area. A good thing too since Felix was almost dragging his hooves at this point.

It’s so dark here…

I stopped dead in my tracks. I’d definitely heard something.

Smoke had seen me pause and was now looking back at me.

“What is it?”

“I heard…” Or had I? This place was so big, must have been an echo… I hoped. “Nothing. Let’s get some sleep.”

Author's Note:

Hello again!
First of, I'd like to appologise for the long wait, I swear my job is trying to kill me.
Secondly, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and I'll try to finish the next one a little sooner (If I'm still alive).
As always, constructive criticism is very welcome and big props to my editor Stanku for his work.
See you all soon.

PS: Oh yeah, if you want to have a look at some artwork from the story you can head to my DeviantArt page here: http://featherspark.deviantart.com/

Comments

[Soaring Skies]

Patently awaiting updates.

I've got to say, I have high hopes for this story so far.

[Bubblez0w0]

Finally got around to reading this. I figured I'd give my impressions.

First of all, I hadn't read the description before reading, Just from the story and the cover art I've been getting an Attack on Titan vibe from the story, In these first two chapters I get the impression that Equestria is on the ropes from a mysterious, so far unknown enemy. I got this through various small details like the sorry state of the recruits, they're scrapping the bottom of the barrel for ponies. In addition, the signs that inter-tribal relationship between the ponies is fraying, and warm water being scarse. I'm a sucker for world building, so details like this are my jam.

Just to clear up my biases, profanity is generally a yellow to red flag for me in pony fiction, particularly when used frequently. This leads to your opening scene to be a bit jarring, and likely could turn a good number of readers off, since that scene is the first impression and makes the story come off as a 'profanity a frequent as punctuation' style of writing. Which then the profanity nearly completely drops off. Now I don't know which is going to be more common, frequent and heavy use, or sparse and reserved for impact as the story progresses, but that scene could give some wrong impressions on how the story is in that regard.

I also had a bit of a hard time following some of the narration, particularly in the first chapter (but its 3am for me so I could just be going derp), I'd have to go back and check for specific points. In addition some areas of the first chapter touched some purple prose alarms for me, when I am awake I can point out the specific points. Good news is that, for me, the narration improved immensely in the second chapter, the one point of "uh what" was the shower scene with Rain Dancer, where you just referred to her as 'the unicorn mare,' I took me a bit connect that to the light blue unicorn from chapter 1 (once again, I am a bit derp right now), adding 'light blue' as a descriptor or 'from outside,' may help. To remind people of her description before adding more (her midnight mane, cutie mark, name).

So far the character ensemble is interesting ( though I suspect many won't be alive for long :[ ). But right now I'm still trying to answer the question "Why should I care about Orion," I don't really have a bead on her motivations for wanting to be a knight, or much on her character at all beyond 'don't call her traitor,' and she's fond of Rain Dancer. Which is a bit off when a chapter called "When I Grow Up, I Want to be a Knight" doesn't really give much insight as to why (also minor quibble since it is a style guide preference not a grammar rule but general style on chapter titles is that the first word is always capitalized and all subsequent words are capitalized except for articles and two- and three-letter prepositions, some people get turned off by such things though, but you'tr free to use your own style). I hope this gets answered soon because most first person narratives don't last long if the audience doesn't know why they should care about said first person. That being said this is only chapter 2, and right now you have me interested and wanting to learn more, so that's a definite win at this point in the story.

Overall I feel like this story has potential, right now your feeding me enough world building and hints to make me want more. I think your narration style improved from the first chapter, but that may also be from moving to a more dialog heavy chapter. I'd like to see some more motivation and character background for Orion, but this early in the fic, you have my appetite wetted and I'm looking forward to the next chapter (provided your job spares you life good luck with that, I know that feel)