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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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There was something not sitting with me right grammatically, and I realized it was the fact you rarely use commas where they are desperately needed, which is beginning to make reading this very jarring. I would quote some examples but I'm on my phone at the moment.
Still good, but the grammar in general definitely needs some work.
5103465 Cheers for the advice.
Luckily I have another individual who has offered to edit for me along side my current editor, so hopefully the next one will hopefully be more grammatically correct.
ps: you read this whilst on the phone? Thats some impressive multitasking. haha
That was fun. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
im still banking on gilda being some kinda noble, or something important.
well
i492.photobucket.com/albums/rr289/axlthehedgehog_2008/responses/e6c6mc7g4cdh1k9jouimu13t8553x553x1.jpg
stay classy
I expect Dash to say something dumb and for Pinkie to already know everything
Im still really excited about just what the baby will look like.
I brimming with excitement to see what the baby will look like, i'm guessing like a feline harpy or something that mixes the two together perfectly
Par of me is wondering if the baby's gonna be a harpy.
Adorable, enjoyed it. I feel like a a lanced Gilda has a sharp wit but isn't super mean. She is sort of like a rainbow dash but a little more brash.
Keep on writing
Loving the cuteness in this chapter. The interaction between main character and gilda was so sweet.
A really sweet morning scene.
That was a nice chapter about Gilda and the hero getting all giddy about their baby, it's like they're two different people.
gyaaahh! would you please quit it with the adorable chapters already?!? im running low on dawws, and im already overdrawn with the Fluttershy bank of squee!
5106753 Haha You knew what you where getting into when you read this ...Be strong its only going to get more adorable.
Very cute, though with that other Griffon around I'm starting to think the main character is a human Mr. Cake. I can just see him after it's born: "How is the baby a full - blooded Griffon? Well my grandmother's second cousin was a Griffon! ...that makes sense, right? "
10/10 My favorite romantic story to date.
Tender and sweet!
5103491
He meant he was reading this from his phone.
5103491 Does Celestia know of the happy event and if she does what was her reaction ?
5140074 haha all in good time mate.
That brought tears to my eyes.
This was sweet chaper I can't wait to see what happens next
Wow... so heart warming. I loved it, good for a point on parenthood happiness.
One point or two, you put 's' on some words that don't need to be plural. But some words do need it, but don't get it.
Oh and mate, here use this for describing Gilda 'Griffiness'. I have see it used in other stories to describe other female Griffin's. I find it better than 'she griffin'. Cheers
I'm literally crying right now, that was so beautiful