This is a dramatic story about , love , war and other crime in the cloudsdale district. This is my first fanfic so i hope you enjoy. Edited by: AntiHeist
Chapters (2)
- Member Since 19th Aug, 2014
- offline last seen Sep 28th, 2014
CloverTales
Hi I'm Mr.Cloverleaf. I guess i'm a Brony , But i just like writing about the subject. If you have any suggestions on what i should write about email me at sekoronn@gmail.com. Thanks
CloverTales
Joined 19th Aug, 2014 ·
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rainbow dashes rockets striaght to canterlot and tells celestia mafia were after them. royal elite guard gather them up to protect them, kill or capture mafia agents, and celestia finds the mob boss and incenerates him.
4911564 HAHAH I might just do that!! hanks for reading!
If any one has a idea they want me to write about tell me. Ill Write about anything. Anything. lol thanks for the support!
Wait. Soarin found Jesus? Dafaq
4913787 haha just realized that.
4914096 Maybe change it to "Oh Celestia!" but then again. It'll sound like he's having sex with her. So just say "holy crap" or something.
4914102 Alright thanks for the advice
4914102 May i ask. Overall did you like it. I wont be offended by any answer.
4914108 I'm afraid not. Errors were too distracting and the concept seems unbelievable in this story. Like Lordofmyth error filled comment said, Dash could seek Celestia for help and get rid of them in a flash. I mean... Rainbow is friends with her protégé for god's sake. Hell, Rainbow Dash can just go to her for help and she'll gather up the rest of the Elements to fight them off or in Twilight's way, reason with them.
My advice to you is stop writing and start reading well written stories for a while just enough for you to get the hang of grammar and how writing works. It's a good way to build your grammar into a better shape. Also it doesn't hurt to get an editor and pre-readers once in a while.
Don't feel shame like "aww, having an editor means I suck at writing, lel fuk them" no. We writers always need a helping hand no matter how good we are.
Because editors could see the errors we missed because we was too busy worrying about the plot (yes I know) and how the characters don't sound OOC. That we forgot to proofread our work when we're done.
Stop writing, read some stories then come back to this and you'll see the errors you made. Also it doesn't hurt to ask other authors on this site how they improved hell they can even give you some tips.
Last, I mean this. Never, neeeeeeever reject constructive criticism. Do not let your emotions get in the way of somebody trying to help you improve. Appreciate that their taking the time to explain to where you went wrong and how you can work on it.
I still am getting constructive criticism and I can't be happier that somebody is reading my work.
Also start with a simple story. Like Slice of life or comedy. Something memorable that happened in your life so that way it could be easier for you to write it. Never give up, keep writing, keep that calm attitude you have now and I know you'll get better with some help.
4914150 Thank you i will try to become better at this. This is my first and i was ready for critisism. Thanks for your help. * Might Retire Story *
4914225 No prob. Just remember to listen to help and get help.