Nomad

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Nomad, as he's been called, is lost. He's been searching for something. Something we don't know.

Something we don't understand...

Chapters (3)

Many Travels · 3rd Sep 2014 · 1,400 words
1,400
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North's Frost · 21st Sep 2014 · 3,239 words
3,239
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Innocence · 26th Nov 2014 · 945 words
945
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Comments ( 6 )

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The Blessed One

The Blessed One #1 · Sep 3rd, 2014 · 1 · · Many Travels ·

On the good side of this coin, grammatically, the story is correct, which was very nice to see. That is normally the hardest part for writers.

On the bad side, which seems smaller than the good side, it is rushed. Just find a way to slow down, be a tad more descriptive, and you will be a good writer, no doubt about it.

leafz pegasus

leafz pegasus #2 · Sep 3rd, 2014 · · · Many Travels ·

I agree with The Blessed One.

This is such as well written story, but it is far too fast paced with such a unique plot that it is difficult for the reader to fully grasp the concept of the story easily.

Other than that, I look forward to reading this.

Danbrixton

Danbrixton #3 · Sep 3rd, 2014 · · · Many Travels ·

4946060
4946271 yea... it was a bit too fast, and not that descriptive but those are my problems, that and really, painfully long dialogue. but this is going good.
maybe add some way to explain a back story or something.

Ponytime