Pinkie, Rainbow, Fluttershy, Twilight, Rarity and Applejack are the closest friends six ponies could ever be. They've saved the world more times than anypony cares to remember. They laugh together, play games together, and go on adventures together on a regular basis. But can six friends love each other? Or will that disrupt the happy, mutual, friendship they've all built together?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Sun doesn't need to be capitalised.
The opening paragraph seems a bit long. Consider splitting it in two. (Anything 150-180 words is starting to push it a bit.)
(Some of your other paragraphs are also a bit long.)
I assume you meant nurturingly, but it seems an odd word choice here. Protectively, perhaps?
Don't need the comma after of.
Don't need the comma there. If you're wanting it to sound like an afterthought, try a set of ellipsis instead.
In.
Don't need the "anymore". If you absolutely want something at the end there, try "... all the time."
This is a good first story and an intriguing enough opening chapter to make me want to read more, but there are the aforementioned problems with the long paragraphs, and there's too much exposition at times (you can obliquely hint at the episodes in question without giving us a whole plot summary). You did a good job keeping Rainbow and Pinkie in character (Pinkie, I find, is very difficult to write when so much of what makes her great is her physical/visual comedy).
Look forward to seeing more.
4855625 That's great. Thanks for the pointers
Made a few alterations, and I appreciate your input. Hope I don't disappoint in the near future
4855680
You're quite welcome.
Holy recap exposition, Batman. I was interested but am a littlte less after that. Recapping heavily doesn't necessarily make for good story.
4857200 It was heavy on recap exposition, I'm aware of that. But, at the time, it felt necessary for the little heart-to-heart Pinkie and Rainbow were having
4858980
Okay, just wanted to mention it. I'm still interested and I was impatient at the time because of a jerk on the bus.
4862914 It's fine
I understand when things get a little "This is what's happened, and I'm going to recount it step by step", and I HAVE been known to pick up the MLP cartoon for it on more than one occasion, so I understand how it feels 
4864642
I take the opposite stance in that I think the exposition is a positive thing in your fan-fiction.
When doing literary writing, a general rule to follow is to assume, and write as if, that your reader audience has no idea what the subject you are writing about, is about. So it is important to write a foundation to set things up for later in-story, this is how the Author sets the literary stage.
Another storytelling factor is that these are things that the characters themselves would talk about in-story. The characters are not just going to instantly know what the other is thinking or trying to express; otherwise it would just be a scene of Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash just staring at each other in bed, not exactly literary drama.
So conversational exposition shows each characters' position and emotions, and what they are thinking and meaning to say to each other.
A common, and fatal, fan-fiction writing error is shoving character names upon the literary stage and shouting at the audience, "this happens! and that gets said! and it was awesome inside my head!" It is too easy to skimp on description, details, and expository, which then kills the story quality because it forces the reader to do the imaginative imagery, and that is like going out to a restaurant and being forced to cook your own food and then pay the restaurant.
So do not be afraid to spend some writing time and word count on building a good literary foundation, it pays off later.
4885567 Thank you
That's what I thought when I wrote the fiction. The way I was thinking about it, one needed to read the fiction from either Pinkie's or Rainbow's perspective, and not just as an outside viewer, looking in like a fly on the wall. If one is having a heart to heart conversation with a friend, which requires some digging up of past events, one is going to recount the events in full detail
4885635...
Been going over my Favorites list and saw this laying fallow.
But, it also reminded me of a fan-artwork that is also appropriate to those old comments:
Pinkie's Rain WP, by DeviantArt(ist) sherwoodwhisper
Hope you do (eventually) continue this fan-fiction. The bones of too many potentially really good fan-fictions lie bleached upon the Incomplete Wastelands and Hiatus Desert Sands.
5099755 Thank you for your feedback
I'm working on chapter two, so I WILL be picking this one up presently
Leading with Pinkie is a bold move, but I think you pulled it off. I am fond of the interpretation that she's smarter and more observant than she lets on. Not sure how I feel about her being bipolar, but if you brought it up, I'm willing to accept you had a reason.
Dear me, now that I look at the dates involved, I wonder if this is a bit of futility? I'll watch it anyway.