• Published 5th Dec 2014
  • 254 Views, 1 Comments

Writing "Fool Me Once" - Codi Snow



The struggles of conjuring a story....

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That Starter Chapter

It was a relaxing sunny morning. The rays of Celestia’s everlasting sun calmly caressed the summer evergreen leaves of every tree in Ponyville. The sun shone through the windows of all of its residents. Especially those who live in their lush, soft, and fluffy cloud homes. However, in one particular cloud home, there lie a pegasus in her bed. As, the rays gently washed over her pure snow white blanket, she began to twitch and groan. She tossed and turned in a feeble attempt to remove the sunlight off of her blanket before she threw the blanket off of her - and the bed- in a pit of frustration.

“Well, there goes sleeping in,” she grumbled as she made her way to her bedroom door. She tapped on the scruffy cloud door. With a loud “pmff” the cloud door dissipated, baring the wall that was on the opposing side of it. She sluggishly walked out of her room into the now light blue-white hallway that led to the bathroom. She began her morning routine-placing enough toothpaste on her toothbrush, turning the water on to put water on said toothpaste and brushed her teeth, making sure to hit her canines very well. while brushing her teeth,she glared into the mirror with such annoyance in her eyes.

“Fshree….Foo….Unnn…,” she mumbled while her mouth was full of toothpaste. As if on cue, a loud crash erupted from downstairs. Normally, such a crash would scare or shock many ponies or at least take them by surprise. But this pegasus in particular, just calmly spit the remaining minty, spit filled toothpaste in the sink and began to fill her mouth with water to rinse as if the crash had never happened.

“You forgot to make the pots and pans hit the floor this time!” she yelled. Right after said sentence, there were loud clanks and clatters heard from the location.

“Much better,” she said in an annoyed tone. She then walked inside of a cloud shape out to be a tub. She then slapped a thundercloud hard so that it could produce water for her to bathe. She began to lather her fur with her pine-scented body wash and just stood in the water, letting each droplet caress her foamy fur. She let out a content sigh and began to use shampoo for her mane and tail of the same scent. She stood under the water again, this time to remove the shampoo, and then smacked the cloud again to cease the downpour. Finally, she hopped out of the bathtub cloud and shook off the water, like a shaggy wet dog, and on instant, her mane, tail, and fur floofed up, showing the remaining droplets of water on her silver gray fur and on the tips of her galactic-like mane and tail and trotted back to her room. When she reached her destination, she began to hear a scuffle between the intruder and her pots and pans. She grabbed her trademark sweater off of her closet door, quickly put it on, and trotted down the hallway, leading to her stairs. As she descended from the stairs, She trotted into her kitchen to see the offending pile of clattered pots and pans. Sticking out of said pile-like a flag of a fallen soldier- was a prismatic scraggy tail. The mare could only sigh and softly facehoof. It was her supervisor.

“That was the sixty first time...this week,” the mare groaned,” if I didn’t know any better I’d think you were doing this in spite of me this morning.”

“Mfmmfmffmmfffmf?” the prismatic tail replied, bouncing as it spoke.

“Couldn’t catch that,” she said to the tail, raising an eyebrow. Her supervisor then rose from the pile of pots and pans, dusted herself off and then turned her head to meet her magneta eyes with the pair of warm gray eyes staring at her.

“I said,’Is that some way of greeting your supervisor, Etch?’” she replied in a mocked appalled tone.

“You earn my kindness and hospitality when you don’t crash into my house sixty-one times in a row,” Etch deadpanned.

“Hey, you should know by now that I love to make a grand entrance,” she replied in a scoff.

“Oh by crashing into my kitchen every morning and expecting me to be okay with it?” Etch retorted. She then gave a defeated sigh.

“I’m sorry. I’m just annoyed that my kitchen is back at square one,” Etch said, her conscience now satisfied after beating her morality with a stick.

“Hey, I should be the one apologizing not you. Tell ya what? I’ll help you fix up your kitchen and then we can snack on these babies afterword,” Rainbow replied, showing her sack filled with fresh apples.

“That’s what you’re supposed to do,” Etch started up,” but thanks.”

“So, have any plans for today?” Rainbow said trying to remake the cabinet with what little cloud wall was left after her little ‘accident’.

“Well, I guess fly around a bit. Read a little. Probably work on this story I had in mind-”

“Wait did you say ‘story’?” Rainbow asked, cutting Etch off.

“Yeah, story. Why?” Etch replied in confusion.

“Because I just so happen to know a pony who is such an egghead! Just like you!” Rainbow replied excitedly. Etch gave her a glare.

“Just because I enjoy reading a good book or two doesn’t mean I’m an egg-” Etch tried to say but was rudely yanked by her supervisor through the same hole she made earlier.

“C’mon Rookie! I know just where we’re going!” Rainbow yelled, the wind howling loud in the two pegasi’s ears.

“But what about the hole in in my house?!”Etch yelled back.

“You mean wall!”

“Still bad!”

“We’ll worry ‘bout it later!”

“Or now! Now seems nice!” Etch yelled, but it seemed pointless. Whenever her supervisor puts her mind to something, there’s no convincing her otherwise. So, Etch reluctantly began to flap her wings into the comforting warm morning breeze, following after her supervisor to the mystery location.


The duo finally landed in front of a lovely tree house known as Golden Oaks Library. Rainbow knocked on the door as loudly as she could.

“So you can knock on this door but crash in my house. Yeah that makes sense,” Etch grumbled.

“One second!” the voice cried from behind the door. The door was then covered by a purple aura. It then clicked and opened to reveal a purple unicorn .

“Wow Rainbow! you actually knocked this time!” the alicorn joked

“So it’s not just my house,” Etch mumbled.

“Well for starters, morning Twilight! Just wondering if you do my friend a favor.” Rainbow said quickly cutting to the chase.

“Sure. What’s the favor?” Twilight asked. Rainbow then opened the door wider so that Twilight could get a view of Etch.

“ My friend, and weather team rookie Etch, wants to write a story. I figured since you two are eggheads you could help,” Rainbow chirped.

“ Again, not an egghead, just well read,” Twilight glared.

“ Somebody agrees with me,” Etch replied. Twilight turned to Etch and smiled.

“ So you want to write a story, huh?” she said to the gray pegasus.

“ Yep,”

“ Well come on in you two,” she started up, “we have a story to write.”


Etch was sitting in front of the alicorn’s computer. It was a blank page on the screen, and it was staring back at the pegasus, waiting for her to type. She couldn't get the first word out, she could only have a staring contest with the screen.

“ Having trouble?” Twilight asked, making her jump for her random appearance.

“ Heh, yeah,” she replied

“ Why not figure out what you want it to be about?”

“ What could I write about?”

“ You could write about one of my pals!” Rainbow interjected from the upper level. Etch looked to Rainbow, then back to Twilight, then back to Rainbow, then back to Twilight. Sadly, nothing came up in her noggin. “ Y’know, the griffon I used to tell you about?” Rainbow added on.

“ Griffon?” Etch yelled back.

“ Gilda,”

“ ...I guess I could,” Etch considered.

“ That doesn't sound like a bad idea,” Twilight egged on.

“ Sure but, how do I start it?” Etch asked.

“ Why not something about her temper?” Twilight suggested.

“...Hey, you’re right! I could do something about her temper and mix with something mythical!” Etch replied triumphantly.

“ So, how will you start it?” Twilight asked.

“ ...I think I know how,” Etch said with determination. And with that, she began to type the words that will begin her new story

‘You're such a flip flop!’

I wish I could take those words back... I didn't mean to say that to you... It was out of anger... I'm sorry, Dash... Please forgive me…


“It’s done,” Etch said after writing the last word of her story, “It’s finally done.”

“ So, aren’t you gonna publish it online?” Rainbow inquired.

“ It’s good to get feedback from other people,” Twilight added.

“...Mind giving me a countdown?” Etch asked, trying to have a little fun.

“Ten!” Rainbow yelled excitedly. Etch began to move the cursor to the publish button.

“Nine!” Twilight cried. The cursor rested calmly below the publish button.

“ Eight!” The cursor still lying below the publish button.

“Seven!”

“Six!”

“Five!” The cursor began its slow trek upward.

“Four!” The cursor is close to approaching the ‘Submit’ button.

“Three!” The cursor is close the ‘Submit’ button.

“Two!” The cursor is on the ‘Submit’ button.

“One!” Etch finally clicked the ‘Submit’ button so that the rest of Equis to see. Soon after, she experienced a strange sense of pride and fear was over her. Was she a good writer? Did they understand what she was going for? Will they like it? Is she-

“Hey Etch! You got a notification!” Rainbow cheered, snapping her out of her thoughts. Etch then used the mouse to click on her notification box. When she saw the notification, it instantly turned into notifications, all of them being relatively positive. A wave of relief and excitement washed over her. It was as if a heavy burden was lifted.

“ Well miss Etch, looks like they love your story,” Twilight said happily.

“ Well, the first chapter,” Etch replied.

“ First chapter?” Rainbow asked.

“ Yeah. This story is far from over,” Etch replied in a matter-of-fact like tone, “And by the looks of the reception, I think I should get to work on the second-” Etch was abruptly interrupted by her vicious yawn. Her eyes became instantly heavy. She then looked out of the nearest window and saw that night had fallen.

“ Whoa,” she said in shock, “It’s night already?”

“ Yep!” Rainbow replied while stretching, “ Hey Twi? mind if we crash here tonight?”

“ If you two don’t mind sharing a bed,” Twilight responded. Etch blinked in surprise.

“ Wait, what?” Etch said. Rainbow walked over and put her foreleg around Etch’s neck.

“ You heard the princess. We get to share a bed tonight,” Rainbow said with a smile on her face while winking. Etch flattened her ears in fear of what might happened later on.


It was midnight when a banging noise awoke Etch from her slumber. She looked over at Rainbow, who was sound asleep, her chest rising and falling at a rhythmic pace. She tried nudging her to wake up, but it didn't work. Then she tried calling out to Twilight, but alas, she too was trapped within the sandman’s grasp. So Etch began her tired trek down the stairs to find the source of the sound. As she approached the front door, The banging got louder and louder. She then opened the door, only to see a very large griffon in the doorway, and the griffon didn't look to happy. Etch’s first instinct was to scream and run like hell, but the griffon stopped her with a swift set of claws covering her mouth.

“Shh! Quiet! I just came here to talk with you,” the griffon said calmly, “ But I can’t do that if you’re gonna panic the whole time. So, if I let you go, you have to promise you won’t scream, got it?” Etch nodded furiously. The griffon then slowly let her go, only having to tackle her because she tried to scamper away in hopes of escaping. By then the griffon had her pinned.

“ Let me go!” Etch hissed.

“ You promised!” the griffon hissed back.

“ Yeah, about not screaming!” Etch replied.

“What’s going on down there?” a voice cried. Hoofsteps soon followed after to reveal a shocked, and blushing, Rainbow Dash

“ Dash! I - I-”

“ Rainbow! You know this griffon?!” Etch cried.

“ Gilda?” was the only word, and name, that Rainbow could say.

Author's Note:

A little mini series that I came up with.
I'll continue it if you want me to so let me know what you think!

Comments ( 1 )

Nuise, very interesting idea and great development! I hope to see more soon! :twilightsmile:

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