Nice little story. You had some instances of using words that (while not spelled incorrectly) are incorrect in their usage. Example, In this sentence: 'Our how I put it our death march.' The first word should be 'or.' One last note: while anyone can sympathize with being in this situation, there really isn't that much to make us (the audience) care about the character in question (i.e. give them a unique quality to make them seem 'human'-for lack of a better word.)

4943082 Thanks! Yea I usually don't write one shot stuff. I'm more of a progressive over chapters person but I've been trying to get out of my comfort zone a lot more of late.