As elite soldier Aros Blade collapses on the side of the road he forgets everything, but he is taken in by the nice ponies of Ponyville, and as he meets more people he remembers more, but something else happens, he feels attached to one of them.
most ponies out there will find this a little confusing, but remember this is my FIRST fic I have ever written, constructive criticism is welcome, if this story is good enough i might write a sequel.
Chapter six coming soon, it should clear anyponies confused mind about his random leg pains.
Enjoy
Chapters (7)
Okie dokie then, first thoughts, For one it's REALLY SHORT! I read the entire thing start to finish in 2 minutes, Not really long enough to give more than a brief look into the story. It appears that you are making the ponies have a much higher tech-level than is shown in the show, It also appears that you are borrowing Mjolnir armour, and Active Camo from the Halo Universe and possibly EMPs from either some other fiction setting. I would like to know what sources you are drawing on and to get into a much more detailed fleshing out of the entirety of Equestria, I mean, I don't even know what Ponyville is like if they have Mjolnir armour, which I am assuming is what you meant when you were referring to it as Spartan armour from your Halo references.
So yeah, Short, moderately interesting and a bit confusing., I'll still be watching and I'll give you a thumb because I would like to encourage you.
439750
With all due respect, i accept your criticism, but the word 'Spartan' is used in many cases to represent something that is strong and hard to defeat, and the Halo games do not own the rights to any form of invisibility, EMP, or armour that just happens to be nicknamed 'Spartan'.
And this is only the first to chapters, the others are longer and i will upload them possibly today. I did not mean to refer to the Halo games at all.
I am not all that great at describing the world around me or my fictional characters, i may not be that good at writing but i enjoy it, and that is why i decided to write this.
It wasn't meant to be a particularly long story, a weekend sort of thing really.
this story was confusing. it felt like things were just happening, with no reason or motivation. like the poisonous dart, for example. where did it come from? who shot it? what was their reason for shooting it? things like this need to be adressed, or it comes accross as being random and irrelevant. dang it, a scorpion stung me. also, the reason for aros' memory loss was not explained. (see what i did there with the scorpion?) all you told me of his past was how he got that gash. just work on the reasoning in what you write, and you'll be a great author in no time!
440258
I never actually noticed that before, thank you for pointing that out, i think i will add some more chapters to explain his past in more detail.
I thought they already had this conversation? Fluttershy and Aros, minus the Pinkie happened bit...
¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?
What just happened? So PinkieXDashie, Twilestia, ArosXFluttershy so does that leave ApplejackXRarity? Also all those revelations so damn fast.. I mean, yes they can all happen but the build up to each of them was pretty short, you also haven't explained really why Aros appeared to be seriously trying to kill Pinkie, He seems to be rather derptastically impulsive when it comes to emotional things but takes being hit in the neck with a poisoned dart (From nowhere) perfectly in stride. Not really seeing how that works... Maybe it's just me.
443097
Chapter 6 explains a little more about why the dart was fired, and who fired it
Y'know, instead of anaesthetic they should have given him Fluttershy. Much quicker, and less painless.
-- TwilitLightning
i agree that probably was the best suggestion but fluttershy might
or 
449081
why not
yeah, i guess your right m8 lets add a little
dun, dun, DUUUUUUUUUNNN!!!!
i didn't do it i swear
514535
Sure...
So you're actually gonna put in...
FUS RO DAH!
Aros: Don't do it!
Sunbeam: *Smashes through roof, lands on assailant* Hello!
... Just adding that right here.
Also, me gusta!
-- TwilitLightning