This is the story of an unsuccessful show mare heading for the City of Entertainment, Las Pegasus, hoping to renew her tarnished name. On her path in life, she will let her past torments and her pride dictate her actions, slowly bringing her to the edge of Equestria where unknown dangers lurk. She has yet to realize how long and tiring her tale will become and will never see the opportunities to get what she really wants.
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If this is going to be long, judging from the tone and the tag, I can only assume this:
This won't end well
Aside from that, I think you can make this an awesome story, see where you take it
TRIXIE IS BAD AND SHE SHOULD FEEL BAD
great story so far i just hope she changes eventually
;_;
- EmuZSNES
Well dayum. This is surprisingly well written, and a beautiful story, so far...Favourited
. I hope to see more soon. Please tell me that there is a light at the end of the long, winding tunnel of past, present and future that Trixie calls a life in this story
Was that old mare really supposed to be her grandma?
Magic City - Yngwie Malmsteen's Rising Force
Very strong start, I really enjoyed this chapter and I can only hope I adore the future chapters just as much!
Good luck to you, Ayin.
459045 : Good choice, it fits rather well. A nice beat with a surprising somber feel.
457531
Yes, the current draft of the outline has 21 chapters. Brace yourself.
457858
No, she does however look just like her (same coat color) and even has a drawl similar to her grandmother. More on that later (give it a few chapters).
Also, Catharsis will happen since it is a tragedy. However, I don't do formulaic stories, so be patient.
This was really purple, but I'll see where it goes anyways. I ask that you do look over your work before posting it, however..
I was listening to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcEGFAaSpzI while reading this. Invoked some pretty strong mental images of Harlesteed Village.
Anyway, this is pure quality. I like your take on Trixie and I'm very interested to see where this goes. Tracked and faved and all that
Rough deal, Trixie.
She's certainly good with foals, though. Kind of.
Wow, what a bummer
Tough crowd for Trixie there.
But Cloud Catcher is pretty awesome
Yay, it finally updated! This was a real nice chapter. I can't wait to see where you take it next. Although hopefully with a little less of a wait between the next part. lol
597143
The next few chapters should come out in rapid succession now that my month of hell is done for school. Thanks for reading it ^.^
Remember when you said they would come out fast?
images.wikia.com/mlp/images/6/6a/Discord_S02E02.png
An awesome update and a solemn past, a pleasant combination.
So her father abandoned her after her mother died?
That's pretty horrible for Trixie, but also the single worst act of parenting I have ever seen ever
This story seems to get better with every chapter
Buh.
My thoughts through this chapter. Aww, adorable filly Trixie. Something bad is going to happen to mummy. Yup, something bad happened to mummy. That rat bastard!
Wait so the librarian was Trixies grandma?
643761
Thanks. A bit more of her past is to come.
643797
A lot worse could have happened.
644632
"Buh" to what happened or the writing itself?
648116
Yeah, I had no intention to hide the fact that something unfortunate was going to happen.
649790
No, the librarian is not her grandmother. They both talk with a drawl and have the same coat.
649821
Your writing has improved, buh to the events. I'm enjoying this so far, actually.
649837
I have talked with a few who help edit it on wanting to rewrite the first chapter, but that is going to wait until the second part is started.
Hits close to home. Not too close, though. Thankfully.
Update! Awesome. So Trixie's been traveling in circles, huh? Poor girl, seems she has no option but to pass by 'that' town again, unless she wants to get in-touch with her inner pioneer.
She went in a circle? She's really not having much luck lately
Interesting to see that being called by her birth name drives her crazy
Still loving this story.
If there's one pony I sympathize with best, it's trixie!
and this is magnificently done!
Keep up the good work.
Although, if I might simply add a bit of criticism, you might not want to go through the sadness parts too fast...
In the chapter 3 scene where Beatrix first learns of her mothers death, it felt a bit rushed and injured the mood a bit for me
otherwise, I'm loving this.
That was certainly heart breaking.
Least we now know where her drive comes from, pitty she's her own worst enemy.
This has been a delightful read and I look forward to what you have in store for our down on her luck magician.
Loving this story, cant wait for the next update.
It seems Trixie has a way of inspiring little fillies. Too bad she doesn't seem to notice. Among other things.
Still enjoying this and waiting for more!
Sorry for the wait, I hope that it will be worth it.
-- For those who read since the start, I am adding the "adventure" tag to the story retrospectively. I have somewhat completely changed the outline and it now deserves the tag.
-- I went through and tried to improve the writing style this chapter. I hope that it shines through and that you all like the changes/improvements.
I dont mind waiting. Thanks for the update.
I like the style change. The prose flows better. Also, you write best Trixie.
So now Trixie's in a team of adventurers led by Starswirl's great great great great (and so on) grandson? Better than aimlessly stumbling around the Las Pegasus area while repeatedly getting injured and falling into rivers I guess
I like the style change too.
What time is it?
787474
YYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Great chapter, I really enjoy the change. Will this be the plot now? It's certainly an exciting prospect! I can't wait to see where you take it.
This isn't going to end well.
But it'll be fun to watch though.
Well, I can say that I approve the Adventure tag being added. It gives me some hope that things will work out in the end.
I'll be honest and say I wasn't sure where this story was going. Still not sure really, but the joining of this group offers some potential to make things more interesting than Trixie just stumbling around everywhere. So, continue on and I'll be sure to read it when I can.
Well, fuck. Poor mare can't catch a break. I hope she does, someday.
well that sucks trixie gets teleported to some where unknown
Trixie's life is like a parade of painful and/or deadly situations
Featherfoot is cool. Hope Trixie stops being a dick to him if they meet again.
Another great update, so awesome! Also, darn it Solaris...
I found it difficult to follow who was speaking or who had focus during a scene at times. I think a few identifiers of who's doing what would help.
Trixie's life sure seems to revolve in circles. Taunting other ponies, getting upstaged by overpowered unicorns and fleeing from ursa's. At least this time she has someone willing to look out for her. Though, with her attitude, it's likely Trixie will lose that as well.
Keep it up!
904220
Sorry about that, I uploaded the online version. My offline one had the changes. The uploader left out a paragraph randomly too =(