Wesker and Chris work on a military base, Chris who manages and operates the gun range while Wesker who likes to use his M-60e Will their training help them survive their trials ahead of them?
I'd like another editor if anyone is willing.
Special thanks for my editor: Fantasia Archsage, canisloopis
Please no Grammar critics comments PLZ. It is just a story... not a life's work.
Original characters: Fantasia Archsage - Archsage
I am always looking for new OC characters and if you want them in here, send me a Pm with a description in your character and if they like the humans or want them gone.
Chapters (6)
Are you sure this is "completely rewritten?" I'm counting more than 5 errors in the description alone, which makes me hesitant to even open the document. The sheer volume of categories and tags you have in makes the story seem like it tries to do too much. I'd advise you to take it down, check the wife's helpful FAQ, and resubmit it for real.
4537471 Yea I rewrote it ... but I still have the other version on here, as for the tags I agree, but I understand your concern and thanks for letting me know about the errors.
I have a question of everyone who was watched SG1, who was your favorite Egyptian God in the hole and all the series?
I'm surprised not many people have read this, it's pretty good.
cant wait to see what celestia thinks of the guns when they test them
4573838 I believe its because of my other stories..... As I have been writing each story I get better and I've started pretty bad on the original version of this (Which is now Canceled) (I plan on rewriting The Mystery of Barry) and Homefront which is a personal favorite. I hope as more and more chapters come out, more people will come to enjoy this story.
Thanks for the positive encouragement.
Here's a Jar of Sugar Cookies.
Uh, "heavy LMGs"? That's a clear-cut oxymoron. "LMG" means "Light machine gun". It kinda defeats the point of a light machine gun if it's heavy (and for an MG, the M60E3 is fairly light [~23 lbs, most others are ~30 lbs], though it has a greater chance of having a catastrophic failure than the more modern squad-level machine guns like the M240B and M249 SAW). Just that screw up alone makes me not want to read the story, not even counting the the rest of the errors in the description (example: "Wesker and Chris work in military base..." should be "Wesker and Chris work on a military base..." You never work in a base. You work on a base). That's a massive issue you need to fix. A description tells a lot about the story's quality. This description tells me that the story is probably, in terms of quality, very poor.
When s the next chapter coming out?
4643637
Well waiting on my editor..... I got two chapters ready to go but they need to be edited first .....
Keep up the good work thanks.
Hmm... maybe try doing Twilights view when she goes through the Stargate for next chapter. Anyway, good work!
it's good
but....
stop with the damned POV changes!
either stay as one POV the whole chapter OR mark every time you change, instead of chopping and changing every other paragraph.
EDIT: that was my main gripe about the first chapter, gona read on however.
Hey! its me I've seen the comments and the dislike and likes count which are pretty good, but still switching POVs? Its hard to know who is who is who is who whenever you switch POVs alot so the obvious thing to do right now is COMPLETELY re–write the re–write without the POV switch everytime. Gonna re–read this whole story if i can survive it (No offense though).
4857570 , I see that I need to rewrite it again, I got four chapters not posted on here yet. I'm thinking about finishing the story on my computer, so I have the whole story in front of me and then make the changes. Think that's a good plan?
4871730 So you're gonna finish the whole thing then re-write? Hm... I think that is a good idea hopefully
How is it going I am looking forward to reading the rest of the story
4573838 wow cool picture there
great just great
7129956 Stare into the eyes.
5641121 Sorry for the delay. just been busy with work and and working on a project involving my personal OC Character AKA Electric Radiation. I plan on putting a sample blog about him and a few of his friends.
Please update.
I am enjoying this so far, but am kind of confused about some things. 1) Did Wesker do THE DEED ? : You wrote in such a way, that it made me wonder if some Dark Magic was at work, like Wesker was taken over and divided from his body somehow, because even HE was screaming THATS NOT ME !!! Or, did he have so many issues with the interspecies aspect of the relationship, that he subconsciously separated himself, from himself ? 2) Wesker himself seems like a rather wishy-washy, lets see where this goes, non committal type of character. He just seems to be all over the place as far as his emotions go. He's just such a ho-hum, non-exciting kind of guy. I'm very worried about him. 3) With that being said, I got a real kick in the gut, when Wesker got the bag of hate-mail. It really tore me up. I felt things I haven't felt in so long. It scared me. It was the kind of thing that would explain why he is the kind of man he is. I guess, his world would be seen as grey, wondering what is real. GOOD JOB !!!!