The Full and Complete History of Equstria...The Musical!

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The Full and Complete History of Equstria...The Musical!

When Luna gets fed up with history documentaries getting things all wrong she steps in to do something about it. Will the help of a Camera Pony by the name of Film Reel be able to help her see her vision?

Chapters (2)

Prologue · 6th Jun 2014 · 2,568 words
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Ponies Don't Break Into Song · 29th Jul 2014 · 1,897 words
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TheMoreLovingOne

TheMoreLovingOne #1 · Jun 6th, 2014 · · · Prologue ·

This. I will follow this. I want more of it.
THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!

Flyerton

Flyerton #2 · Apr 4th, 2015 · · · Prologue ·

Night time was good for many things.

Nighttime is one word.

Catching up on reading, watching old home movies or even the new blockbuster films that came out from Fillywood, or even tangling between the sheets with lovers.

Why would you use or even twice?

Luna spoke rapidly picking up a napkin and franticly drawing on it with a quill.

I think you're missing punctuation, since it comes off as being too fast. Try adding a comma between the rapidly and picking.

The excitement warmed Celestia’s heart to see.

I think you're meaning, The sight of Luna's excitement warmed Celestia's heart.

slowly, carefully.

You replace the comma with an "and".

from your eyes would be helpful.

Perspective would've been a better word than eyes.

While many were kept in the Canterlot archives many first person recounts were in places their owners lived.

After the first chunk, put a Comma.

she had read aloud to the two guards outside her door causing them to collapse into a fit of giggles.

door COMMA causing

We’ll have the wind at our backs, make for an easy flight.

uh... MAKING would be better.

The play was about the Diamond Dog wars from after Luna and Celestia had risen to the thrones, but there was something interesting about it.

FROM AFTER. Delete the From.

The plot was reminiscent of Pony and the Monster

You've double spaced, and you're missing a The.

Some would say that if he was the best camera pony in the business.

Why an IF there? There's no condition afterwards.

He heard some shuffling downstairs as his wife grabbed up her score sheets

Delete the UP there, it's unnecessary.

He continued perhaps this would be the script that would land him into the director’s or script writer’s chair.

He continued FULL STOP Perhaps blah blah blah

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