When rainbow dash becomes bored for the first time in her life, she doesn't really know what to do... but that doesn't stop things for getting slightly out of hand.
Brony to the max. I love reading, and i adore reading FiM fics... if you want feed back just send me your story! i'll be happy to read it!
When rainbow dash becomes bored for the first time in her life, she doesn't really know what to do... but that doesn't stop things for getting slightly out of hand.
"Slipping slowly into consciousness her head still throbbing"
that whole scene made me think of Cupcakes
Scene with Pinkie Pie made me think about "Cupcakes".
Well,it doesn't matter. This story is very interesting but too short. Any chances for more?
18760 well I would have stayed with cup cakes, but then i guess it just made sense as a way of bringing in Ditsy. perhaps i could try my hoof at another, who would you like to get bored?
18927
How adorable, the author doesn't seem to get the reference.
Excellent story, by the way. A few grammatical and spelling errors, but a good plot.
Fix the name grammar otherwise pretty cool!
18927 you have read cupcakes right?
This story has both good and bad parts.
The good: You are creative. I loved your asides like "no one realized but passing through the sound barrier was like passing through slime", "if you feel yourself slipping through time and space ignore it!"
The bad: Please get an editor to look over your work before you publish. Many programs have spell-checkers. Names ("Twilight", "Pinkie Pie", and so forth) should always be capitalized.
I hope that you keep on writing!
Aswome second chapter, but I would have to agree with 21806, you need a pre reader to check your work for spelling errors and grammer. besides that, I'd like to see a fluttershy being board or the CMC.
As others already said: great ideas and creativity, poor grammar and general presentation. You really need to go back over your stories once or twice before you post them and/or have an editor/pre-reader or two read over them for you. The number of errors make this grating to read- which is a shame, because I'd love to see this story written properly.
22144 i'm sorry, next time i post i'll be sure to get one.... thanks>>21911 okay the cmc are up next...
18927
Don't read cupcakes
if you dont mind, i've taken the first chapter and i'm in the process of editing it. It wasnt bad, but i little tiring to read, i'm not sure how well i'll do cause i havent been an editor very long but if you want, i'll PM you when i'm finished
Hi, cool story, :D it's SEW AWESUM
OMG YESH!