The tale of boredom, and muffins.

by Banksyt

boredom and muffins

Dash was, against everything sane, was getting bored. This was not a natural feeling for her since she always had some trick she wanted to try or some place to be, but not today. She frantically searched her mind for any trick she had not yet perfected (except the sonic rainboom, no one realized but passing through the sound barrier was like passing through slime). Oh man what to do? What to do?

A decision was not something she had made a few hours later; however she had achieved in creating a freak storm cloud by constantly bouncing on it. Realizing she was getting nowhere, and somewhere (not in the direction she wanted to go, her shift ended long ago), she flew over to ponyville where hopefully someone would be able to tell her what she could do, if she wanted to. She first stopped at Sugar Cube Corner where he best friend and accomplice pranker resided. “Hey Pinkie pie! What are you doing?”

“Oh yay! Rainbow dash I’ve been looking all over for you! Do you know how hard it is to find you! It’s like trying to find gummy in a bunch of alligators WITH teeth!” If you could rely on anything it was Pinkie Pie’s unreliably random outbursts.

“Oh cool. Wait what?” Yet another response that was as common as a field cricket.

“Oh Rainbow Dash you’re so silly! I need you to try these new Muffins I made! With rainbow!” Perhaps she forgot her last experience with rainbows.

“Thanks but… no thanks… I don’t like spicy food all that much.”

“Awww but I made them just for you! Please! Just try one itsy-bitsy bite, please!” The ability for Pinkie pie to encourage anypony into trying something was a phenomenon even twilight couldn’t explain.

“Fine, but just one bite.” She looked down at the cupcakes, and they looked back, with all the innocence of a filly but with the hidden dangers of a pony trap. She against every muscle in her body picked the smallest out up, and slowly forced her mouth open to consume fire incarnate. Gingerly she took a bite out of the menacing muffin; she wasn’t ready for what happened next.

Slipping slowly into consciousness her head still throbbing, she wasn’t ready for what happened next. “OH MY GOD!! I knew my cupcakes were good! But that good! WOW RAINBOW DASH YOU KNOW HOW TO EAT!”
“Aaaah! Stop shouting, my head hurts! Oh god, what just happened?” instantly regretting asking that question.

“YOU ATE THE WHOLE BOX! Then you went alittle crazy, but it was so awesome!”

“I what? Really? The whole box? I don’t even remember eating the first one. I thought it was just a bite.” Her head now throbbing a little less.

“Oh you took that bite! But then you took another and another and…”

“Wait wait wait!” Rainbow dash shouted “I went crazy?” not a new thing, but for cupcakes?

“Oh yea! First your face went dark blue, then green, then red then orange then yellow. Then you took another bite and another and…”

“Okay I get it I get it! My face changed color but what did I do?”

“Oh nothing much, you just stuffed your face in the box and then you completely changed colors! Your whole body was like a rainbow! Then you passed out, rather abruptly if you ask me.”

“Okay, never again Pinkie pie, never again.”

“But I have another dozen, and you’re the only pony who seems to like them…” she sounded genuinely let down. (exhibt B of pinkies persuasive abilities)

“Well…really the whole box? I don’t even… well okay, but just this box! Okay! And you have to promise me not to sell me any more experimental cupcakes! Who knows what could happen!”

“Yay! You’ll take them! I’m so happy! Well I’m always happy, cause how couldn’t I be! I mean I’m pinkie pie the happiest pony in Equestria!”

“Okay okay I get it I get it” she said as she pulled out a few bits to pay with. What am I getting myself into? As she walked out of the door pinkie called to her.

“Oh and don’t worry about the side effects, if you feel yourself slipping through time and space ignore it!” At this point the only thing one could really come up with was “What?”

Dash was of course bored again; she dared not go back to Pinkie pie out fear that she would buy another box of those muffins…. hmmm muffins… oh yea ditsy doo could probably use some help! She probably wouldn’t have done so if she knew what was going to happen next.

With a box of pinkie pies muffins tucked under her wings she trotted to the post office, the day was certainly turning out to be those perfect day for tricks. But then again she really didn’t like that slimy feeling. As she neared to post office she heard a short period of shuffling followed by a long period of falling boxes. She must be trying to move the heavy stuff again. Entering the post office Dash called out to Ditsy. “Hey Ditsy, you okay back there?” This was met by shuffling as Ditsy came into view.

“Oh um, yea I’m fine Dash. Do you need anything?”Neither eye was looking at dash, but somehow she knew.

“Oh um, I was just wondering if you needed some help with moving those boxes, it seemed like you were having trouble.”

“Oh yea, that be great dash. I was never really good at heavy lifting if you ask me. There in the back, and the addresses are stamped on top. Just make sure you don’t drop anything. I got to make my run, if you need anything just find me.” And with that she flew off, mailbag in tow.

“Okay, something to do.” But she wondered how much? She should have seen the signs earlier.

Things were going very slow, to slow for Rainbow dash. She got the packages to their destinations but at the cost of her diminishing sanity. The first one had gone to the mayor who was indeed surprised that Rainbow Dash was at her door, Dash felt the same way. The second had gone to Fluttershy, it was a box of medicine that she needed in order to take care of her most recent patient. She was perhaps a little more understanding that the mayor but was still confused as to why Dash he even considered this aid against boredom. She wanted to invite Dash to chat, but she was just too busy at the moment

“Sorry Dash but she’s quite sick.”

“I understand Fluttershy, anyway there are more packages to deliver, I guess I’ll see you around.”

“okay, bye.” Carrying on with her delivery’s Dash could actually feel her mind slipping away slowly, falling into the deep ravine that is routine. Perhaps this is what Ditsy felt all the time? Naw, she’s not mental, she’s just got a eye problem. Some thing not every pony realized though. Getting through nearly the complete pile with one package left, Dash was desperate for some action. And she knew how, and that she would definitely regret it. The box of muffins lay temptingly on the floor next to her, “oh come on dash just one.”

“No, not after what happened at Sugar Cube Corner, and pinkie pie said something about side effects.”

“Oh come on, it’s just a bit of rainbow. You know you want one” Pinkie pie wasn’t the only one who could persuade. “Fine, but just one.” Rainbow Dash looked one more time at the package, it was for twilight and it was probably fragile. But one muffin wouldn’t hurt anypony. In fact a whole dozen muffins wasn’t even hurting her, she didn’t even pass out after the first muffin. But she definitely felt it when the world’s colors went inverse and a copy of herself picked up the package and walked out. What was that pinkie said something about ignoring something? “Well I just walked out, I am not ignoring that. Hey where do ya think you’re going? “she shouted as she walked out of the post office. The other she didn’t stop. She shouted again, and other ponies began to stare. “Umm, hehehe? Just joking around folks..”

A few minutes later just as she was nearing twilight’s house the doppelganger disappeared with the package. “Huh? What’s going on here? Ignoring it like pinkie pie had said she arrived at twilight’s house. She knocked and twilight opened the top half of her door. “Oh hey Dash, did you forget something?”

“What do you mean?” she was genuinely confused here.

“Umm, I said did you forget to make me sign something?”

“I don’t understand Twilight, sign what?”

“For the package?” She held the package next to her, it glowed faintly as it hovered next to her.

“Wait, how did that get here, I thought that disappeared.” She knew something was up about that doppelganger.

“Umm, no Dash, you just came by to drop the package off, then said something about muffins.” Then it all fell into place.

“Wait, Dash. Did pinkie pie give you muffins?”

“Well um yea, why?”

“Oh, no.” Twilights face drooped. “Again pinkie pie?”

“What do you mean oh no?”

“Remember the last time she sold Apple jack “experimental muffins?” Twilight was sure she had a stern talk with the pink mare.

“Oh horsefetters.” And Dash fell unconscious again, but just before she went under she thought “Never again pinkie pie, even when I’m bored out of my mind.”

Comments

[Bairiko]

"Slipping slowly into consciousness her head still throbbing"

that whole scene made me think of Cupcakes

[DrAhzek]

Scene with Pinkie Pie made me think about "Cupcakes".
Well,it doesn't matter. This story is very interesting but too short. Any chances for more?

[Banksyt]

18760 well I would have stayed with cup cakes, but then i guess it just made sense as a way of bringing in Ditsy. perhaps i could try my hoof at another, who would you like to get bored?

[dzamie]

18927
How adorable, the author doesn't seem to get the reference.

Excellent story, by the way. A few grammatical and spelling errors, but a good plot.

[Voodoo Moon]

Fix the name grammar otherwise pretty cool!

[Chip Unicorn]

This story has both good and bad parts.

The good: You are creative. I loved your asides like "no one realized but passing through the sound barrier was like passing through slime", "if you feel yourself slipping through time and space ignore it!"

The bad: Please get an editor to look over your work before you publish. Many programs have spell-checkers. Names ("Twilight", "Pinkie Pie", and so forth) should always be capitalized.

I hope that you keep on writing!