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Her most faithful patient.

Alternate Equestia series, season 1, episode one.
Her most faithful patient.
By Storiesatrandom.

Somewhere, in a mental institution located in Canterlot, where it houses every single problematic Unicorn Equestia had to face with and a spell was cast to disable their magic to prevent continuous escapes, lies the most troubling case Equestia has ever met.

At the desk, an Orderly, who was an earth pony male, was doing some paper work. Suddenly, he heard a voice. It said, “Hello, I’m here to see patient Triple X319 again, as of every Saturday.” The orderly looked up, to see Princess Celestia. The Orderly said, “Of course, your highness, but you didn’t need to ask permission, you own this Asylum, you founded it after your uh, ex-student lost it. Though, Equestia has many other asylums, so why-” Celestia said, “Patient Triple X319 doesn’t trust anyone else, but me.” The orderly said, “But, I once heard that you had gotten hurt by that patient when she first went nuts.” Celestia said, “She couldn’t help it, her perfect life was falling apart, she thought her friends abandoned her, left her to suffer. They were too late to prevent me from, laying down my punishment to her…. I’ll admit I, shouldn’t punish her so greatly cause of what she did and it resulted with her finally falling apart and lashed out at me. If you’re curious why I am not baring scars, let’s remember I’m an Alicorn, if our heart remains undamaged, physical wounds fade away very soon…. But, the memory burns, like hellfire. I remember having to cast a spell to destroy her magical abilities forever that, one act of defense, just to stop her from slashing me with that, butcher knife. When her friends came in, they, were horrified and ashamed of themselves for not coming sooner, not taking her problem seriously and I am not sure if they’ll ever forgive themselves of what they unknowingly allowed to befall her.” The Orderly said, “But, didn’t she just, over-react of being late for once? I mean, I’m sure you weren’t gonna care if she’s late on just ONE report, I mean you did know she was the best student you had right?”

Celestia said: “Of course I knew she was, I didn’t need reports to appear on time to know that her accplishments speak for her. It’s just that, she is obsessed with everything done correctly and everything organized and perfect… habits, I may had feed to her. I was a little instructive teaching her, placing her on a schedule, made her organised. She always desired to make me proud. Fearing of me to look down on her because of a mere mis-step. Even despite what is wrong with her now, I’ll never, ever think negatively of her.” The orderly said, “Boy was she lucky to have been trained and practically raised by the most forgiving teacher ever. Most ponies, in fact pretty much everyone, don’t ordinarily take almost getting butchered alive in stride. Then again, everyone else ain’t immortal.”

Celestia said, “I hate to cut this conversation short, but I wish to see the Patient.” The orderly only nodded, and pressed a button that opened a way into the asylum hallways. Celestia sighed, braced herself what she is about to enter. She enters, greeted by an onberaosh of screams, laughing, and eerie sights of the asylum wall. In the patients’ rooms, most of them seem to allow the patients drawing privileges. A lot of the drawings are, let’s just say, somewhat disturbing and stomach turning. Celestia has an iron stomach from all the years she is around, due to her immortality, she witnessed more disturbing acts, but she does admit on that, these ponies think like this. Celestia once again focuses her attention on what she’s here for.

She passes two Orderly Pegisi dragging a female Unicorn that is screaming! The Female Unicorn screamed, “NO! YOU CAN’T TAKE ME TO THE PILL ROOM! I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT! HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE! HATE! (CRIES UNCONTROLLABLY)” Celestia almost feels bad about what is going to happen to that mare, who is being taken to take these “Special” pills that are said to reduce the mental problems. Celestia sometimes believes that the method of therapy is enough. Especially for the patient she routinely sees. She then sees some Orderlies holding a Unicorn male to be forced to take injections with medicines that might cause him to calm down, cause the Unicorn seems to be acting wildly with screaming and shouts! She sees a patient Female Unicorn with Pigtails that’s holding a teddy bear, with a seemingly crazed if somehow innocent smile.

The mare said, “Hello, Miss Celestia.” Celestia decided to stop for abit. Celestia said, “Greetings, Patient Omega 545XTEN.” Patient Omega said, “Call me Darla.” Celestia said, giving a small smile, “I forgot my manners, Darla Childhood. I came to see Triple X319 again.” Darla said, “Be careful, I hear she’s being naughty again…” Celestia said, “I heard about her occasional outbursts and that she has to take the most injections. The poor delusional foal.”

Darla only walked towards her bed to sleep with her bear. Celestia resumed with her sedguile meeting. She sees a room with a sign that reads “danger: extremely mentally disturbed and hostile: extreme caution required.” And there are also two buff Unicorn Orderlies as well. One of them said, “Be careful, your highness, this one has issues.” Celestia said, “It’s ok, I’m the only one she listens to.” The Orderly said, “But what about, the incident?” Celestia said, “It’s only because she lost it. The very first time I saw her, she insisted something like that won’t happen again because of a few reasons: that she loves and respects me… and because of no weapon privileges, being straight-jacketed, and no magic. Though she acts intimidating, the goodness she still clings onto is the only reason why I hope to, help her out of this.” The other orderly said, “While you were away the court placed her in a Permanent stay in the Canterlot Asylum.” Celestia said, “It does nothing to stop me still caring for this, tragic soul. I still feel responsible for placing her here in the first place. I, I never meant to cause her this much pain.” The first Orderly said, “Very well, give us a call if she “acts out” again.” Celestia said, “Very well, though I am confident the patient won’t do me harm.”

The Orderlies open the door for Celestia, she walks in, then the Orderlies closed it. Celestia walked towards a shadow in the corner. It was Twilight.

Celestia said, “Hello, my most faithful patient, how are we today?” Twilight looked up, with her pupils the size of dots, and a slightly crazed smile. She was in a straight-jacket disabling movement. Twilight said, in monotone, “Hello, former teacher, what a surprise. I thought you gave up on me.” Celestia said, “I did not, Twilight, I never will, it’s just Saturdays are my only free days. Now, I've been told you have been, misbehaving. That is not like you Twilight.” Twilight said, still Monotone, “Can I help it, princess? These Orderlies hurt me. All they do is dragging me forcibly, then force-feed me drugs, inject some form of liquid in me that does weird things to me. It’s not just me; they do it to those other ponies, even poor Darla.”
Celestia said, “Twilight, please understand, the Orderlies and Psychiatrists are here to help you. It’s just, some of the other patients, you included, tend to be disobedient and violent. And let’s remember you lost it when I had to terminate your Studentship as a punishment. But, I never intended for you to suffer like this, if at all.”

Twilight said, still in Monotone, “How are my “Friends” doing?” Celestia said, “Well, thanks to your friend, Snowdancer, they were able to function quite well. Though they grown to like your friend Snowdancer, they still miss you, Twilight. An added measure to make them feel better about this is that Canterlot castle will always be open for them and their families.” Twilight said, in Monotone STILL, “And Spike?” Celestia said, “Snowdancer is taking very good care of Spike. He is still taking child therapy though, he was, traumatised still by, what accured that unfaithful night.” Twilight still said in Monotone, “It’s incredible you were allowed to get away with this, creating a dangerous physcopath that caused an uproar in Ponyville and almost ruined what you and your sister swore.”

Celestia said, “As a matter of fact, I did suffer. My council turned against me, and with intent to pass a bill that Luna will become Equestia’s only ruler, because they believed me to be incompitent because of that night. They poisoned my sister against me. Though she still cares for me, she was misled to believe I’m no longer right for Equestia. So far, the bill is widely disapproved on by the good subjects, but the Council has started to post PSAs, about you going insane, and that if I am left untouched, history will repeat itself and that I am no longer what’s best for Equestia. *sigh*, All because I refused to have you executed for being a traitor to the crown. Thankfully, Luna will always refuse to execute you, should the time come that, I will only have to be called Celestia. So, be thankful you still have a friend in the palace.”

Twilight said, the monotone broke, “Friend?” Celestia said, “Yes, Luna still cares for you, as for me.” Twilight said, emotion starting to pour in, “But, why is she, betraying you, siding with those complete jerks?” Celestia said, “Like I stated before, she was made to believe that what is best for me is that I no longer run Equestia, and, that she takes away my power over the sun, so she becomes the Princess of the sun and moon. I don’t blame her for this, or will I ever. I made a terrible mistake not giving you a second chance before as my student, or waited for alittle while longer for your friends to come and save you. None of this could’ve happened if, I gave you another chance as my student. But, it’s the past now, I grown to never reflect in it, and move on. But, Twilight, even if I could, never be able to undo what became of you, you, were the best I ever had. Will you, accept my friendship, and, re-accept my love?” Twilight smiled. Twilight said, “Thanks. I love you to. But, it’s a shame I’m still, out of it. For now, I’m not so crazy now, but, it’s still in here somewhere, waiting to come out when you least expect it. Celestia, I belong here. I’m, too dangerous to be near anypony now. Please understand.”

Celestia sadly and reluctantly nodded. Twilight said, “Celestia, please go, get Luna back on your side and stop the Council before it’s too late. I, I never meant any of this to happen. And please, if you ever got the chance to meet up with Spike and my friends and tell them… I’m sorry.” Celestia smiled with small streams of tears. Celestia said, “I’ll be back next Saturday. I’ll, see what I can do about this, upraising problem of mine. And please, try to behave. Though, I know your insanity won’t keep the promise.” Twilight said, “I’ll, be sure to at least, not to outburst so much.”

Celestia only gave a long sad look before leaving. She passed the Orderlies that were able to keep a straight face and remain focused on their duty, despite hearing what Celestia and Twilight said. The Orderlies closed the door after Celestia left the room. Celestia is sad about her mistake with Twilight… but, she will mend those wounds in good time. Right now, she has to fight her right to rule, get Luna back on her side, and teach those Councilponies a lesson of their lifetimes. Then, and only then, will she be at peace. And, maybe one day, treat Twilight of the illness affecting her. She isn’t sure how long it will take, but, she knows it’ll happen eventually.

THE END

Comments ( 64 )

"oh, and mention of volience. "

Better fix your description up a bit. It's a real turn off to a story if there is a mistake there.

409114 it's so it'll pass moderation otherwise it would've failed and i would've been asked to switch it to Everybody, cause i don't just leave it at "being dark" is tecnecly justiviveable to have a teen rating.

409128

That's not what I meant. There are a few spelling mistakes in there...

409114 oh, wait a minute, you mean the miss-spelling? sorry, THAT i'll fix.

Ill read once you learn how to write proper descriptions.

409133 well, i fixed it now, sorry, you didn't explained yourself enough. other then that, the story itself is mistake free, cause i had an editor fix this up before i had it up.

409138 and, this isn't proper how? it's explaining that it's a collection of mini-stories, if it was just gonna be one story, it would've been more wordy. you can't expect me to write a discription for EVERY episode i'll make soon enough while balenceing other stories.

409153
No i mean your stupid choice of wording will drive many people away because they won't know what they
are getting into. I know i wont be getting into this just because the description is bad.

409162 ok, fine, i'll fix it AGAIN! god, i hate remembering how picky you people are sometimes.

Hm. :applejackunsure: It has a promising story line, but the whole thing is brought down by the grammer. I recommend having a few people edit your story. One major complaint is ALL THE COMMAS! There's a lot of other punctuation in the world, and in some places, nothing is needed at all! I don't know why you kept putting commas in the middle of your diologue. It makes the whole thing cluncky and hard to read. :unsuresweetie: :applejackunsure:

409180 look, i plan to have Vulpes look at it after he finishes all the older stories i have out. it's just the guy i have for the coming out now stuff, Exia, handles the spelling, but, that's about it however.

it really sickens me that you made a good story suffer just because of some minor blemishes. don't you think i want to be better? it's just i'm limited to two co-editors that got their own lives to worry about. trust me, be glad the spellings good, and that i no longer just shoot out stories without adjusting them first. i'm capable of learning, i'm just slow because of mild autisum.

409162 there, i placed a warning on it, happy? now you know what is ahead of you if the image and tags aren't somehow ovivious enough :facehoof:

409231 (sigh), ok, would it make you happy, AT ALL, if i take what Clonetrooperkev wrote?:facehoof:

409215
Some people like explanations to a story. Like me.
They are driven away because they don't know what to expect and
don't want to end up reading something they will be offended by or
end up reading a bad story that wastes their time.

Although with this story, the former reason may not be notable because of the
title art.

409234
You don't need to make me happy, do what you will.

409246 look, sorry if it is not "clear enough" in your ideal, but i'm pretty sure the image and the tags would be pretty clear that this is gonna be a grimdark collection. can i ask you give this story a chance, and not dis it just because you somehow don't think it's "clear enough?".

>_> The commas made it IMPOSSIBLE for me to properly read it. It lost all the visualising because I was constantly having to go back and figure out what it was saying, and who was speaking. :applejackunsure:

Also, we aren't being "picky". It's called CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISISM. Learn to accept it. You're not helping your case by being immature and huffy. :ajbemused: I agree, the description has problems (it's mostly capitolization though), I only read it because the cover art made me curious. :applejackunsure: The thing is, even thought it's only minor problems, it sets a bad tone for the rest of the story. If the discription has bad grammer, people expect the story to have bad grammer. First impressions are important. :) Let me fix it for you:

This is a fanfic series I plan to write whenever I have the chance. It will focus on alternate takes on the canon show; it's not related to the other fanfics I have written. These will be episodic chapters.
(Warning: These are grimdark stories. They won't contain gore or bad sex like previous stories, but just plain dark.)

Image by Ryedeer.
Rated teen for just being dark. Oh, and mention of violence.

409269
Sweet lord have mercy. This story and its wall of text look.
And the grammar is a bit... wonky. Work on that.

This story isn't my type of story. Character abuse
ees no no to me.

The plot line... ehh, i guess, since im not a fan of these kinds of
stories i really wouldn't know.

409296 sorry, i normally don't have a problem with criticisum, it's just, i offen don't expect a story to be so, frown apawn. it hurts me, it makes me think you people hate me. all i am trying to offer is new, original ideas or interesting takes on common ideas. what happen to love and tolerance, huh?

409304 you couldn't just warn me that your not a grimdark fan? and, there's no character abuse here, i don't have Celestia scarred or Twilight becomeing a complete rip-off of Hannibal Lecter.

409318
I don't see what me not liking grimdark had to do with the description...

And I meant character abuse in general. Not by the characters; but the author!
You sick bastard, making Twilight all insane and shit!

:twilightangry2:

Well, yes, the idea is new and somewhat interesting. Normally I don't pay attention to grammar at all, but I just couln't ignore it on this one. The commas EVERYWHERE! D: In all your comments too. Each sentance will usually only need one or two commas, if that.

Love and tolerence works both ways. I'm being tolerent and trying to help your story instead of saying its terrible and leaving. But YOU also have to be tolorent of MY critism, that I'm giving you to help this story.

All in all, great story. Bad writing. The idea is good, you just need a little practice with comma usage and formatting. A tip: Start a new paragraph when a different character speaks. :)

409336 this is an alternate Universe where Twilight wasn't saved by her friends in time, ok?

look, i never meant any Twilight bash, i just want to offer, my first alternate universe fic. again, this is an alternate, sadder Equestia, this isn't the happyer canon show, i mean, Twilight attacked the Princess, you possitbly couldn't expect Celestia to welcome her attacker to Canterlot castle and risk having it happen again, right?

finally, i have nothing against Twilight, cause again, ALTERNATE UNIVERSE. and please, you did not have to be rude about it.

409347 (sigh), sorry, sometimes i encounter a user that isn't so nice about it, and i end up assumeing alot of people are like that.

409364 sorry, i thought you were accusing me of character abuse, i was just pointing out that it's an alternate universe. i didn't realise you were just being a wise guy about it. i encountered some users that intended insults like that, i grown, kinda snippy since things like that. i been accused of being un-amarican and a troll because i just, can't handle myself sometimes. i'm just, atad sensitive, and, i may have a low tolerence for people that aren't nice with their criticisum.

zgeek.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/amewarexit.jpg
I haven't even read the damn story. I'm too entranced by both of your yelling.

409392 this wasn't meant to happen. i thought the guy meant his insult and wasn't being funny about it. i have a bad experience of very mean critics, it explains why i sometimes, react hard.

409387
It's alright and noting what Gemini said earlier about your grammar and use of commas, i agree.

You use of commas is off the charts. Commas are used a sentence extenders, they allow you to add more
onto a line of text, almost as if the person speaking was taking a breath.

You don't say "The room was white with a table in the middle a lamp hung above the table."
Or "The room was white, a table in the middle, a lamp hung above the table."
You say "The room was white with a table in the middle, a lamp hung above the table"
""The room was white with a table in the middle and a lamp hung above the table"'

Words like With and... and can be used in the place of commas.

IraqLobster, quit being a prick. :ajbemused: Yes, the descriptin is bad. Yes, it has some formatting issues and comma abuse. I understand you were just being funny, but really. No need to be rude.

Alright. :) That's understandable. >_> I'm a fan of dark works myself. :P This has some great potential storyline wise, but you need a lot of practice. I'll see if I can get my dad to edit it, maybe I will. It needs a lot of comma removal, and a little rewording discriptions of people. And some quick formatting stuff. :P Again, it has potential, but it needs to be worked on. :)

409460
I can't help it. Im a natural smart ass and I love to exaggerate stuff.

I don't like to swear, so exaggerating things usually means
I need to draw out my point through other means, such as
criticism and of course, being a prick about little things.

409465
Also, this nifty little thing here >> ; <<
That can help a lot.

409487 oh, i understood. well, sorry for not understanding your intentions.

Thank you storiesatrandom for a good read. The format was a little different than what I would have gone with, and you have a couple of minor grammar/spelling errors, but other than that, good job! I don't think I could write a grimdark story, and I really envy anypony that can manage to write a good one.

409541 thanks. one small tip: when writing a grimdark, try to think something that doesn't normally happen in a kids show like My little Pony, but in a more grimmer prospective, like, say, a darker alternate universe, or having a character die, or attacked and injured, going insane, or anything not tridisional to the series. but, maybe some of us are better off with a positive mind, cause, hey, we need happy stories to balence out the dark stuff out there.

Dangit lost my comment. XD To re type it! XD

IraqLobstah: (lol I just noticed it's lobstah not lobster XD) Ok cool. :) I get it, I can be harsh sometimes, but I usually lighten up by the end of the comment or add a bunch of smileys. XD :P So they don't get worked up over a miscomunication. ;)
Yeah those last ones are helpful. You probably worded comma usage better than me. XD Those linking words are helpful, yes. And those semicolons! :) They are your friend! XD

Storiesatrandom: Alright I'll see what I can do. :) I highly recommend you edit it yourself first. It'll help you learn how to word it in the future and make your writing better in the first place, before it's submitted. :)

409741 thanks. i'm not sure if your into grimdark fics though, so, i can't recimend this fic to you.

I see potential in this story you may proceed....

409774 just to be clear, this is a mini-story collection. but, i am for request of i should continue the current thing or move on. it's in the latest blog.

And also besides the comma problem, something else you can work on is the word "said". To me, it seems to be used a little bit too much. It would help if you used words other than said, such as told, explained, and so on. Hope you don't think I'm being too picky about this, I'm just trying to help.:twilightsmile:

409838 it's cool, i'm more calmer now, and you were nice about it at least.

:rainbowlaugh: Haha, the comments war made the story worthwhile :derpytongue2:

Anyways, you should really ge a proofreader. If you already have one, fire him, and get one that would actually do something.

eh. lot's of comma's, big blocks of text, and just a poor writing style. better luck next time.

409309 not trying to hate, but I'm in middle school, and you should listen to these people. I know it's annoying to have someone correct you, but it is helpful.

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