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Welcome to Ponyville1,009 words
Applejack likes to buck trees. And ponies.1,031 words
Pinkie bakes some Trippy Cupcakes1,288 words
Let's Visit the Laundry Basket1,528 words
A Purple Pony Princess1,371 words

A Purple Pony Princess

Author's Note:

Last chapter.
Don't bug me for more.
PEACE OUT

Kyle stood at the base of a gigantic Oak, waiting for a response from the door embedded into it's bark. He tapped his hoof impatiently, losing interest quickly. He turned to leave, when a slight rustle sounded from inside the tree. Kyle approached the door once more, and pressed his ear to it's surface. The shuffling sound grew louder, leading up to a voice calling from inside.

"Coming!" Kyle raised his eyebrows. Huh, someone actually lives here. There was a loud thump, then the door swung open to reveal a purple unicorn. With wings.

"Um, hello! Do you need something?" She asked with a smile. Kyle just stood there, mouth agape at the feathered appendages attached to her sides.

"W-what are-" He stammered, pointing at them. The mare followed his hoof to her lower shoulders, seeing what he was so amazed about.

"Oh, my wings?" She laughed sheepishly. "Yes, I'm a princess. It's not a big deal or anything, so please don't treat me any different than other ponies. " Kyle wasn't listening. Oh my fucking god. She has WINGS. He dove into her, grabbing at the extra limbs.

"Gah!" They fell backwards into the "house," crashing into a sleepy baby dragon.

"Whoa, hey!" He clawed out from under the two massive ponies. "Watch it!" He stormed upstairs, grumbling under his breath. Kyle watched him go with a frown. Son of a bitch.

"Oh, don't mind him," The purple mare rubbed the back of her neck with a chuckle. "He's just, going through puberty." Kyle wrinkled his nose. He probably went to go jack off to pictures of his fantasy girlfriend. A loud moan from upstairs confirmed his suspicion.

"Oh, RARITY!!" Disgusting bastard. He snapped his attention back to the mare before him, who was blushing with her ears down.

"U-um, I'm Twilight by the way," she stammered. "Please excuse Spike, it's getting harder and harder to control him." She regained her poise and cleared her throat.

"Well, let's put that aside and get to the issue at hoof, shall we?" She gestured to a couch in the center of the room, signaling for Kyle to take a seat. He did so, and was followed by Twilight who sat next to him.

"Now, please explain the purpose of you knocking on my door so late at night," She stared at him intently, as if she was silently demanding for a response. Kyle took a deep breath.

"Um, I kinda need a place to sleep, because when I woke up in that forest I was a pony, but I'm supposed to be a human, and I don't really think this is normal, because-" He was cut off with a squeal of excitement. In an instant, Twilight was on top of him, spouting off questions like a fountain.

"What forest was it?"

"What's your name?"

"You're a HUMAN?!"

Kyle pushed the pony over and got up from the floor. He brushed himself off, making sure his hat wasn't damaged.

"Um, I'm Kyle," He answered one of her questions , slightly annoyed. "Kyle Brofloski, and well, I guess I USED to be a human." Twilight nodded, completely focused on him.

"Yes, yes, go on!" She urged, eyes full of interest. Kyle looked around nervously. Damn it, I don't know where I was!

"Uh, I sorta woke up in the middle of dark, scary-ass woods," He tried to seem as innocent as possible. "But I have no idea what they were called..." Twilight bit her lower lip in thought.

"Were there any strange creatures there?" She asked, sternly. Kyle shuddered, recalling the terrifying beasts that almost ate him alive. I almost wish they HAD so I could avoid that sick orange pony. Ew...

"There were these, tree-dog things that tried to KILL me," He spat the last two words out of his mouth. Twilight cocked her head.

"You mean Timber wolves?" Another moan sounded from upstairs. Kyle scowled and cursed a Jewish thing at the dragon.

"Yeah, if that's what they're called." He answered flatly. Twilight seemed to be oblivious to the suggestive sounds emanating from the room above, and trotted into an area off to the side. She pulled out a blanket from a nearby drawer and spread it over the huge couch.

Here, you can sleep there for now," She smiled and walked into the kitchen. "I'll have to study you more in the morning." Kyle tensed at the thought of her exploring his body, but pushed it away as he wiggled under the warm sheet. He closed his eyes, exhausted from all that's happened during the day. Almost getting raped by a farmer, baking cupcakes with an afro pony, and being trapped in The last thing he heard before drifting off to sleep was a voice ringing out from up the stairs.

"Twilight! I need a towel!" Mother fucker...

***************************************************************************

"God damn it, Craig!"

I rubbed my eyes and tried to get to my feet, only to fall back down again. Ow, my head...

"Hey, it's not my fault!"

I let out a pained groan and clutched my forehead. Fuck, that hurts...

"Hey, he's waking up!" I saw a hand wave in front of my face. A fat, grubby one.

"Get up, Jew." I rubbed and blinked my eyes, to see several familiar faces. With a gasp I flung myself off of the bench.

"Stan!" I swung him off his feet and spun him around.

"Whoa, dude!" he struggled to escape my grip. "Are you okay?" I smiled and released him.

"I can't believe I'm back!" I whooped with joy and started hugging everyone in the room, spouting off their names as I did.

"Kenny!"

"Butters!"

"Craig!"

"Cart-" I stopped. "Nah, screw you fat-ass." Laughter erupted around the nurses office, all except for Cartman, who was now pissed.

"Ay!" I simply flicked him off and joined the others, as they were waiting for me by the door. We exited the clinic, walking down the hall like normal.

"Oh! I almost forgot. Here ya go Kyle." Butters handed me an icepack from his pocket. I took it and felt the chill meet my finger-tips.

"What's this for?" I asked, tossing it back and forth.

"It's for your head," Stan said, pointing to the bruise on my forehead. "Craig threw a basketball at your face."

"Did not, it was an accident!"

"Yeah, yeah, sure it was." Stan waved him away. "You were knocked out for a while, dude." I frowned and rubbed my aching temples.

"How long?" I stared at him in concern. He scratched the back of his head.

"I think at least ten minutes," He stated in a-matter-o-fact tone. I just stared at him in astonishment.

"Wha-," I stammered. "B-but.." I looked down at the floor. I was there for a whole day! Not to mention I was aged up to be eighteen.

"Is something the matter?" Butters had a serious expression on his little baby face as he lowered his eyebrows in concern. I shook my head.

"N-no, it was nothing." I pulled a fake smile. It was probably just a dream, but... I looked back to the clinic. It felt so real... I slumped my shoulders and shoved my hands in my pockets, before running down the hall to catch up with the others. I mean seriously. Talking ponies? I chuckled lightly to myself. What a stupid idea...

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