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All Good Things...

Applejack and Twilight have been together happily for years, or so everypony thought. Applejack, however, isn't sure things are the same anymore. After she tells Twilight how she's feeling, what does the future hold for the two of them? Can their relationship be rekindled, will their friendship recover, or will the six be divided...permanently?

Chapters (2)

1. The Honest Truth · 28th Apr 2014 · 1,914 words
1,914
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2. Here For You · 28th Apr 2014 · 3,488 words
3,488
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Comments ( 2 )

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Aatxe360

Aatxe360 #1 · May 12th, 2014 · · · 1. The Honest Truth ·

"Well, that sure wasn't what I expected," Applejack muttered to herself, "I never could figure that mare out. I guess, at least it's done now."

This line makes me dislike this story already. After all the time they've been dating and the fact that AJ initiated the relationship, she couldn't tell how Twilight would take it?

TheAccidentalBrony

TheAccidentalBrony #2 · May 15th, 2014 · · · 2. Here For You ·

4375404
Yeah, it's a pretty stupid line. Well, more to the point, a throwaway, clichéd line that does nothing to move the story forward. At some point, when I have time, I'll have to give these chapters another pass before writing the third.

If you saw anything else that you'd like to point out, please let me know. Some authors on here seem to have a natural knack for this stuff. Unfortunately, I seem to not be one of them. Nevertheless, I'd like to improve, and comments like these are the only way I'll be able to do that. So thanks again for taking the time to look over it, and post your opinions (at least to the point you got to). I'll try to do better.