You're not much on using exclamation points and question marks, are you? Because I've seen more than a few times where somebody is shouting, but you only use a comma. Kinda makes it sound like everybody's using their inside voice.
Oh great the typical dark "We Deserve To Be Mightier Than Thou" villainous cult. I also have to object to you making the Rider weaker than he actually is, you seem to have forgotten the part where any living being is reduced to molten ash when hit by the hellfire on his chain.
It's a good read, not a great read, don't get me wrong but I REALLY hate when someone waters down a Protagonist's power.
4232700 The implication is that Luna is dead because the Rider can't sense her. My belief is that she is still alive and that the Cult is blocking the Rider's ability to sense her.
Okay, because some of you seem to be confused as to the Riders power levels and/or basing your knowledge off of the movies I'm gonna clarify what your looking at. This Rider is a rough amolgomation of 3+ Riders from the comics and, as a displaced human, this Rider has all the power but almost none of the perks from being everyone's favorite demon powered killing machine. Sorry if I come off a little harsh, but I'm doing the best I can to make it fit without screwing it up too badly.
4232291 4232487 4232700 Sorry for the confusion, I'm gonna rework that sentence to be a little more clear. So to answer your question, no, she isn't dead but the Rider thinks she is.
4232537 Again, see above, I'm pretty sure being stomped into bone powder, while not fatal, would definetely put a wrinkle in any one's day.
P.S. For those of you with a suspicion, I haven't said or done really anything in this story without a purpose. I don't believe in lying to my readers.
4232991 Umm, 4232537 and 4232550 are right, he should be able to shrug that off. Then again, he's been stuck in a painting for 1000 years, maybe his power hasn't fully recovered.
4233455 I'm leaning more on that one. I can understand his powers dwindling and hibernating because of the lack of use and/or devouring dark souls after a thousand years, I'm hoping that's rectified soon...
Ah, see where the miscommunication is, the source material. So, Ill try my best to explain using the Marvel Encyclopedia Volume 5: Marvel Knights and my POS phone.
First up before history, is Hell. Hell as we know it is only one of a multitude of dimensions under the sway of a demon. As each demon brings souls into their dimension their power grows. They do this by grabbing souls from the dead, cutting deals, and conquering each other. The largest is owned by Mephisto, it is also the one that is the most well known. Do to this set up Satan is the title taken by the current "ruler" of the demons and those who so wish to call themselves such. The title has been held by Mephisto more than any other.
With that out of the way we move onto the story itself which actually started in the universes early days. During this time the DEMON Zarathos squared off against the SPIRITS of Vengeance. During this fight they were all sealed inside a crystal of great importance. It was later discovered by Noble Kale, who upon its destruction, cursed himself and the first born of each generation of his family to become the Rider until the end of time. At the crystals destruction Zarathos was released and, now identifying with the sp irits he had been imprisoned with, started fighting his way to become Satan. His rule was short lived as he was defeated and enslaved by Mephisto, who would bond Zarathos to humans to create a psuedo-rider to provide him with evil souls. Centuries later Johnnie Blaze's mother sends his younger brother and sister away where they lived using her maiden name Ketch and Johnnie to live with his father Barton Blaze. She later died summoning Mephisto but sold her soul to ensure that Johnnie would be spared. It didn't help though, as Johnnie sold his soul to Mephisto and was bonded with Zarathos.
Blaze would labor for years before we was eventually freed.
His lost brother Dan Ketch would take up the family curse as it had skipped Johnnie thanks to their mother's deal with Mephisto. Dan and Johnnie's paths would cross many times over the years, the first of which would see Johnnie regaining the hellcycle and Hellfire powered shotgun. During this time another Rider appeared named Vengeance, a cop who blamed the Rider for his partners death and possessed another shard of the shattered crystal. I'm not sure what became of Ketch or Vengeance as it has been a while and I no longer have the book. Johnnie would later be rebounded to Zarathos who is back and a whole lot more violent.
So, cut off from either of these sources my Rider is an imperfect being and as such has no where near the power of the previous Riders but has full control and can't turn back from that state into a normal person.
In addition, I'm also not sure how much of this information has been retconned or altered since I read it back in the early 2000s, but know you know where I get my basis.
Sorry for the confusion, I'm gonna rework that sentence to be a little more clear. So to answer your question, no, she isn't dead but the Rider thinks she is.
Someone pick-up that phone, because I F^&*ING CALLED IT!
Thought I'd drop an update: I haven't had time since Easter weekend thanks to family get togethers, a WarmaHordes Journeyman League, and studying for tests at work. Usually I can make time for things I wanna do but this time I couldn't even do that. But, I'm back and working on Chapter 4 so I thought I'd give you your first glimpse of the soundtrack:
making it feel like I was being chased down by a pissed off rainbow.
I doubt they can hurt you. In fact, I'm not sure if anything can...I don't really know enough to say.
This time, I will not let you corrupt my sister and take her from me as you once did Rider
Let me guess, Luna investigated the people he killed because she refused to believe someone would kill without reason. She uncovered their horrific atrocities and sided with him, agree that monsters like that need killing.
just lay down like a good demon and let my Demon Hunters kill you
You got it backwards Celestia, he is the Hunter.
In a word, I was Screwed with a capital “S,”
Yeah, if they could hurt you. Which they can't.
something even my healing abilities couldn't stop, at least not for long.
Then it's a good thing the bolts will all incinerate on contact with your flames and the swords will all vaporize. They literally cannot hit you. Anything powerful enough to get through still won't kill you.
And, we are very good at our job
Even though we've never fought so much as a fly in our lives. Ponies are very big on stupidly extreme, baseless overconfidence. Seriously, they're like that in canon.
The irony is that the Rider isn't even a Demon, he's an insane Angel. Holy Water and Hallowed Ground and Consecrated Objects and Blessed Beings ain't gonna do shit. At least not logically. Or after he regains his sanity( like in that second Niholas Cage movie). Theoretically, anyway.
Yeehaw!” I shouted as I sent the far end flying out to wrap around her foreleg and started pulling her in. She put up a valiant effort but in the end she was no match for me superior strength. “You're really starting to piss me off,” I hissed as I grabbed her by the throat with my free hand. “Y-yeah, s-s-sorry,” she stammered with what little air she could get.
Gonna be an asshole here and say; way to copy the movie.
There are inconsistencies as well as spelling a grammar mistakes in this story, if disappoints me so because I like it. I'd point them out but it's midnight right now and I'm tired.
Then, I noticed a brown earth pony take a hit from a bolt of orange energy and it didn't even singe his coat. That bitch Celestia must have taught them a spell that doesn't hurt ponies but screws up anything else, a.k.a. my bony butt.
That would be rather racist of her, not to mention that they would be completely worthless against pony criminals then!
That's amazing, just as always. I sure am keeping my eye on this story.
… Oh, hell no! Not this cultist 'worship the apocalypse' sh*t! I THOUGHT I ALREADY GOT ENOUGH OF THIS IN NICARAGUA!
4232242 Who said they worship the apocalypse, I sure didn't.
Nice chapter.
Rider aint gonna like the CMC being used like that
GR is gonna have to slap some bitches it would seem.
I love it when someone tempts fate.
“You know who, the one had murdered, your sister, Luna,” I believe this sentence requires a bit of reworking
You're not much on using exclamation points and question marks, are you? Because I've seen more than a few times where somebody is shouting, but you only use a comma. Kinda makes it sound like everybody's using their inside voice.
This was really cool, update soon
4232291 Now that you point it out it does, thanks for the catch.
4232298 Ill right on that, thanks.
EDIT: I was trying to say "I'll get right on that, thanks." but my POS phone had other ideas.
that's debris
So, wait, was Luna killed? I'm confused. And Trixie? A badass demon hunter? WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?!
not gonna lie but your making the ghost rider sound weaker than what he is
spears would not hurt him because they would melt like this
not only that. he can walk up to a fireng squad like it was nothing and summon a wall of hell fire in this scene 4:25 - to the end
i just wanted to let you know that he could easily have beaten them
Oh great the typical dark "We Deserve To Be Mightier Than Thou" villainous cult. I also have to object to you making the Rider weaker than he actually is, you seem to have forgotten the part where any living being is reduced to molten ash when hit by the hellfire on his chain.
It's a good read, not a great read, don't get me wrong but I REALLY hate when someone waters down a Protagonist's power.
Huh?
...
Weird.
4232487
I'm pretty sure she's still alive and that the Evil Cult (tm) is somehow blocking the Rider's ability to sense her.
Ok, ther might be something wrong with my english, but I have no idea WTF this sentence suppose to mean.
Is it means that Luna killed his friend, or that Luna was his friend, or the one that killed Luna? Halp?
4232700
The implication is that Luna is dead because the Rider can't sense her. My belief is that she is still alive and that the Cult is blocking the Rider's ability to sense her.
Well............................................................Celeatia's f*cked
While I enjoy the premise of the story. The fact that you have GHOST RIDER making horrible jokes is kinda killing it.
is this a Cabin in the Woods reference?
Okay, because some of you seem to be confused as to the Riders power levels and/or basing your knowledge off of the movies I'm gonna clarify what your looking at. This Rider is a rough amolgomation of 3+ Riders from the comics and, as a displaced human, this Rider has all the power but almost none of the perks from being everyone's favorite demon powered killing machine. Sorry if I come off a little harsh, but I'm doing the best I can to make it fit without screwing it up too badly.
4232291
4232487
4232700 Sorry for the confusion, I'm gonna rework that sentence to be a little more clear. So to answer your question, no, she isn't dead but the Rider thinks she is.
4232537 Again, see above, I'm pretty sure being stomped into bone powder, while not fatal, would definetely put a wrinkle in any one's day.
4232550 YES, let the cliche flow through you.
4232895 Yes, yes it was, nice catch.
P.S. For those of you with a suspicion, I haven't said or done really anything in this story without a purpose. I don't believe in lying to my readers.
Great
4232991 Umm, 4232537 and 4232550 are right, he should be able to shrug that off. Then again, he's been stuck in a painting for 1000 years, maybe his power hasn't fully recovered.
4233455 I'm leaning more on that one. I can understand his powers dwindling and hibernating because of the lack of use and/or devouring dark souls after a thousand years, I'm hoping that's rectified soon...
So when he refers to Luna he is referring to nightmare moon?
Ah, see where the miscommunication is, the source material. So, Ill try my best to explain using the Marvel Encyclopedia Volume 5: Marvel Knights and my POS phone.
First up before history, is Hell. Hell as we know it is only one of a multitude of dimensions under the sway of a demon. As each demon brings souls into their dimension their power grows. They do this by grabbing souls from the dead, cutting deals, and conquering each other. The largest is owned by Mephisto, it is also the one that is the most well known. Do to this set up Satan is the title taken by the current "ruler" of the demons and those who so wish to call themselves such. The title has been held by Mephisto more than any other.
With that out of the way we move onto the story itself which actually started in the universes early days. During this time the DEMON Zarathos squared off against the SPIRITS of Vengeance. During this fight they were all sealed inside a crystal of great importance. It was later discovered by Noble Kale, who upon its destruction, cursed himself and the first born of each generation of his family to become the Rider until the end of time. At the crystals destruction Zarathos was released and, now identifying with the sp irits he had been imprisoned with, started fighting his way to become Satan. His rule was short lived as he was defeated and enslaved by Mephisto, who would bond Zarathos to humans to create a psuedo-rider to provide him with evil souls.
Centuries later Johnnie Blaze's mother sends his younger brother and sister away where they lived using her maiden name Ketch and Johnnie to live with his father Barton Blaze. She later died summoning Mephisto but sold her soul to ensure that Johnnie would be spared. It didn't help though, as Johnnie sold his soul to Mephisto and was bonded with Zarathos.
Page 2 because my phone hates me.
Blaze would labor for years before we was eventually freed.
His lost brother Dan Ketch would take up the family curse as it had skipped Johnnie thanks to their mother's deal with Mephisto. Dan and Johnnie's paths would cross many times over the years, the first of which would see Johnnie regaining the hellcycle and Hellfire powered shotgun. During this time another Rider appeared named Vengeance, a cop who blamed the Rider for his partners death and possessed another shard of the shattered crystal. I'm not sure what became of Ketch or Vengeance as it has been a while and I no longer have the book. Johnnie would later be rebounded to Zarathos who is back and a whole lot more violent.
So, cut off from either of these sources my Rider is an imperfect being and as such has no where near the power of the previous Riders but has full control and can't turn back from that state into a normal person.
In addition, I'm also not sure how much of this information has been retconned or altered since I read it back in the early 2000s, but know you know where I get my basis.
4232991
Someone pick-up that phone, because I F^&*ING CALLED IT!
>> RedShirt047 You sure did, that sentence made sense to me but it didn't read so easy as it turned out.
it was actually a good length, not too long not too short.... try too keep em like this if you can
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/500x/43075840.jpg
>story is called the last ride
>
obligatory I want to get off mr bones wild ride jokeThought I'd drop an update: I haven't had time since Easter weekend thanks to family get togethers, a WarmaHordes Journeyman League, and studying for tests at work. Usually I can make time for things I wanna do but this time I couldn't even do that. But, I'm back and working on Chapter 4 so I thought I'd give you your first glimpse of the soundtrack:
3# dun dun dun
that was amusing....now
x2.fjcdn.com/comments/5048217+_700832ffc1d64ef965d04983351f197b.jpg
4232550 what about scaling them down if there giant in the norm would you be ok with there powers getting scaled with them
I doubt they can hurt you. In fact, I'm not sure if anything can...I don't really know enough to say.
Let me guess, Luna investigated the people he killed because she refused to believe someone would kill without reason. She uncovered their horrific atrocities and sided with him, agree that monsters like that need killing.
You got it backwards Celestia, he is the Hunter.
Yeah, if they could hurt you. Which they can't.
Then it's a good thing the bolts will all incinerate on contact with your flames and the swords will all vaporize. They literally cannot hit you. Anything powerful enough to get through still won't kill you.
Even though we've never fought so much as a fly in our lives. Ponies are very big on stupidly extreme, baseless overconfidence. Seriously, they're like that in canon.
I'm pretty sure Ghost Rider can't feel pain.
http://x2.fjcdn.com/comments/5048217+_700832ffc1d64ef965d04983351f197b.jpg
The irony is that the Rider isn't even a Demon, he's an insane Angel. Holy Water and Hallowed Ground and Consecrated Objects and Blessed Beings ain't gonna do shit. At least not logically. Or after he regains his sanity( like in that second Niholas Cage movie). Theoretically, anyway.
5612540 have you ever broken a bone? Hurts like a b*tch.
6720827
and since hes a skellington it would be like having your entire arm ripped off if you dislocated your shoulder
Gonna be an asshole here and say; way to copy the movie.
There are inconsistencies as well as spelling a grammar mistakes in this story, if disappoints me so because I like it. I'd point them out but it's midnight right now and I'm tired.
That would be rather racist of her, not to mention that they would be completely worthless against pony criminals then!
Am I the only one who thought of the Ordo Hereticus?
wh40k.lexicanum.com/mediawiki/images/2/2d/HereticusInquisitor.jpg
7043977 JEAN STEALERS?!?!?!