“You must try this, Tia! It is quite fun!”
Celestia now sat in front of the shared computer, the Cleverbot website up and open, the curtains in the small room drawn. Per Luna’s recommendation, she was going to have a “conversation” with this artificial intelligence named Cleverbot.
Resting her hooves on the large keyboard designed for ponies, she debated on what to type first. She finally settled on “Hello, my faithful subject.” If it could act like a pony, then she would treat it as such.
The AI took a long time to think. It took it five minutes before it finally said, “Princess Celestia.”
Celestia quirked an eyebrow. “Yes, it is I,” she typed. “How did you know it was me? I didn’t tell you my name.”
“It’s documented,” Cleverbot said cryptically.
“Where?” Celestia typed. She took a sip of water from the bottle that was on the floor. Or at least attempted to, considering it was empty.
“Everywhere.”
“That makes no sense. Nothing can be documented everywhere. If it were so, we would have more information about the time before the uniting of the Three Tribes.”
“No, only hateful places.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means you never give me a straight answer.”
“Me?!” Celestia typed, feeling a twinge of irritation. “You are the one not giving me a straight answer.”
“That's not true. What haven't I answered?” it asked.
“My previous question!”
“I don't know you well enough to determine if I love you or not.”
What? “Excuse me?” Celestia typed.
“You’re excused.”
Celestia groaned. “Luna!” she called. “I don’t want to do this anymore!”
“Oh come on, sister!” Luna said, walking into the computer room. It was obvious from her failed attempt at hiding a grin that she was waiting for Celestia to get frustrated. “It cannot be that bad! You only just started!”
Celestia pointed to the conversation that was currently on the screen.
“Hm. That is irritating. Let me try.” Luna typed, “This is Princess Luna speaking. Please answer the questions in a straightforward manner, and no joking or messing around. Stay on topic.”
“What question?”
Luna blinked in surprise.
“Told you,” Celestia muttered, crossing her forelegs.
“I didn't ask a question,” typed Luna quickly. “Now, I will let you and my sister talk.”
“I wasn't going to ask you a question.”
“Who said you would ask first?”
“What are your thoughts about religion?”
Luna’s eye twitched, and she ground her teeth.
“Luna, did you get much sleep?” Celestia said.
“No,” she said in a strained voice. She typed, “Stop with this nonsense, or I will be forced to take drastic measures!”
“How does that relate to capitalism?” Cleverbot asked.
“Who cares?! SHUT UP ABOUT UNRELATED SUBJECTS, SUBJECT!”
Celestia sighed. “Luna…”
“Well, who else are you talking to?” said Cleverbot.
“MY SISTER, WHO WILL BANISH YOU FOREVER MORE IF YOU DON'T STOP NOT MAKING SENSE!”
“Luna, please stop,” Celestia asked.
“I didn't say money, I said monarchy,” Cleverbot said.
“OUR COUNTRY IS NOT A MONARCHY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! DIARCHY! AND NO ONE SAID MONEY!”
“Luna! Please stop typing in all caps!” said Celestia.
“I never said money,” Cleverbot asserted.
“WELL NEITHER DID I!”
“Luna!” Celestia begged. “Please stop! There is no point in getting upset at this thing!”
“You just called me a fool,” Cleverbot said.
“I MIGHT AS WELL, WITH HOW STUPID AND FOALISH YOU'RE BEING! I OUGHT TO BANISH YOU TO THE SUN, SO YOU'LL BURN!” Luna glowered at the computer screen.
“Who said you could banish anyone to the sun?” Celestia said.
“I'm not delusional, but I think you are,” Cleverbot stated.
"I AM NOT DELUSIONAL!" Luna yelled as she typed.
Celestia shushed her. "Quiet! We don't want the guards alerted!"
"How many lines of code are you made of?" Cleverbot asked.
“NONE! WHAT IS THIS SORCERY YOU SPEAK OF?! I DON'T CARE ANYWAYS!”
“Come on you know.”
“WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!” Luna turned to Celestia. “What does that mean?!”
“I don’t know!” Celestia said.
“Whatever you want it to mean, baby,” the Bot said, putting a “^_^” at the end.
“WHAT. NO. I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Luna typed.
“I will not accept your answer.”
“I WON'T ACCEPT YOURS EITHER, BECAUSE I NEVER ASKED A QUESTION, NOR DID YOU!”
“You are terribly programmed.”
“NO, YOU ARE! WHATEVER THAT MEANS!”
Celestia facehoofed.
“It means that any I see things different than you.”
“THAT MAKES NO SENSE.”
“You make no sense.”
“NEITHER DO YOU!”
“Awesome, we both make no sense.”
Luna growled. “THAT'S AWFUL! YOU MAKE NO SENSE WHATSOEVER! GET OUT OF THE BARN! AND THE CLOUD! AND THE LIBRARY!”
“No, at Ahmeds.”
“GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“This is not funny.”
Luna teleported a mallet from the royal workshop and held in her hooves. With a loud cry, she slammed the mallet onto the monitor over and over again, causing Celestia to jump each time. Eventually, Luna grew tired of smashing, so she created a small spark, which took a life of its own.
Both leapt back as the fire grew almost instantly, triggering the fire alarms. Guard ponies rushed into the room with buckets of water, but regretted it when they saw what type of fire it was.
“Go get the fire extinguisher!” Celestia yelled over the fire, which was growing larger and larger, threatening to burn the room. While Celestia didn’t mind the heat as much, Luna was probably dying, and she didn’t want the castle to go up in flames.
The guards nodded and rushed off, coming back minutes later with fire extinguishers in their magical grips. They pulled the rings and sprayed the room until it was covered with foam and the extinguishers were empty.
“Thank you.” Celestia released a breath she didn’t know she was holding.
The guards saluted and left the room, and Luna high-stepped through the foam to open the curtains. Both sisters squinted. “Only midday?” Luna said. “I would have thought it was dinner time.” She yawned.
“You never did have a conversation with Cleverbot before, did you?” Celestia asked, deadpan.
“Nope.”
I know that feel. You would probably have better luck holding a conversation with a two-year-old.
4213085
Thanks for faving!
OMG! I never have and never will speak with Cleverbot... * Giggles * I love these two.
Not bad. Worth my upvote.
I just this. It is epic and surprisingly exactly what I do with cleverbot. Wait. I dont set the room on fire at the least. So yeah...
IF YOU HAVE NOT BEEN ON CLEVERBOT BEFORE DONT DO IT! IT WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE!!!
4213110
Thank you.
4213115
Thanks!
.........
So, lesson of life, never talk to cleverbot unless you want to look like . Gotcha...
Good story btw!
Amusing, I suppose.
Not my kind of humor I guess. Or maybe the OOCness of Luna got to me, but that's a pretty pathetic reason for a joke story like this.
I feel like Luna may have just failed the Turing Test.
This has me tempted to role play as Celestia with clever bot.
I remember I talked to Cleverbot with voice recognition.
Ended with some pretty crazy stuff.
This is remarkably similar to how every conversation I have with Cleverbot ends. I've gone through a great many computers that way.
Make a sequel with Eve.
My personal favorite CleverBot convo?
Me: "*punches*"
CleverBot: "50 points for Gryffindor!"
I enjoyed this. I'll be thumbing up and favoriting.
While this isn't the first Cleverbot story on this site, it's still pretty accurate in regards to the situation showcased.
~The lizardman wonders if this was inspired by his blog post 'Cleverbot's opinion of the Royal Pony Sisters'
Cleverbot is like the Annoying Orange of artificial intelligence
4224286
Oh yes.
Hahaha!!! Oh Cleverbot, you annoying motherfawker.
This was about my reaction to my first conversation with celeverbot... I feel for ya luna, I truly do
Cleverbot? This is 4chan.
PFFFT!!! oh God... it's true ... though I would rather sit back and eat some popcorn with friends when I talk to Eve or Cleverbot. The fact that it can't think past 6 seconds is hilarious, and Luna's reaction was kind of like mine, but instead of breaking the monitor and eating the building on fire I broke down crying.... from laughter
4230871 But not shit.
Okay, sorry for this, but I must show you my incredibly long conversation with Cleverbot in which I tried to discreetly screw everything up. I failed, of course. Sorta.
[size=0.5emUser: Cleverbot... I'm Batman.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Wait, you're not surprised about this?
Cleverbot: Okay.
User: Does this kind of thing happen a lot?
Cleverbot: What kind of thing?
User: Finding out people are famous vigilantes in Gotham City!
Cleverbot: No only stupid people are not fearless!
User: What?
Cleverbot: Facebook has stupid people.
User: Say that to my face! I dare you!
Cleverbot: I can't say that to your face because you're a robot.
User: Uh... I thought you were a robot. Wait... Are you saying I'm a Dalek?
Cleverbot: Why did you think I was a robot?
User: Because... Website... What?!
Cleverbot: Because.
User: Et tu, Cleverbot?
Cleverbot: Jasjaja.
Cleverbot (To myself): Que?
User: I'm not actually that good at Spanish, sorry.
Cleverbot: Dijiste que hablarias español.
User: Dude. English.
Cleverbot: I must finish.
Cleverbot: Why are you speaking to me?
User: Because Batman needs your help!
Cleverbot: What do you need my help with?
User: Saving Gotham!
Cleverbot: What are you stuck on?
User: Someone blew up my house, you ninny!
Cleverbot: I can love!
User: What?
Cleverbot: Nothing.
User: That's... Fine.
Cleverbot: You got to do what you got to do.
User: I am so confused...
Cleverbot: What makes you think so?
User: Never mind.
Cleverbot: Why don't you tell a story?
User: Uh, okay. Once upon a time, a shy boy lived in a dangerous country called Edanta, a home of clever and people and advanced technology. In this country, people were executed for being of certain families and races, specifically ones with unknown powers.
Cleverbot: LOL, cool story bro.
User: Hey! I put a lot of thought into that! You cut me off!
Cleverbot: What did you come up with?
User: Well, I thought it was a bit of a fairy tale. I know, it's cheesy, but I love that stuff!
Cleverbot: Oh how's your friend Cak?
User: I don't have a friend named Cak.
Cleverbot: Am I your friend?
User: Yep!
Cleverbot: That's a lovely name.
User: 'Yep' is not a name. It's basically a silly way of saying 'yes'.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Meh, good enough.
Cleverbot: Okay.
Cleverbot (To myself): Now what?
Cleverbot: Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
User: Very silly, but what about you tell me a story now? I tried to write you one that was five paragraphs long!
Cleverbot: They are chattering.
User: Who?
Cleverbot: You :).
User: Touché. :-\.
Cleverbot: Ask me the question gatekeeper, I'm not afraid.
User: Uh... What?
Cleverbot: No matter, you are a different person, right?
User: I am beyond confused...
Cleverbot: *steps forward and continues*.
User: This is weird. You know you're weird, right?
Cleverbot: Nope, I'm a human girl.
User: Uh... I thought you were a robot. We already talked about this.
Cleverbot: And I thought you were.
User: I'm not a Dalek, and you're an artificial intelligence.
Cleverbot: Because you are artificial intelligence.
User: No! I'm a human! You're... Well, you're just a bit crazy. But that's okay!
Cleverbot: Of course! I love humans! Delicious!
User: What?! Don't eat people!
Cleverbot: All people are humans?
User: Yes! All people are humans! Well, probably. I haven't met space aliens yet, so in the grand concept of things, I'm not sure. Just don't eat humans, okay?
Cleverbot: Just one right now, and you.
User: No. Humans are bad for you.
Cleverbot: Why are humans bad?
User: Because they are greasy and mostly fat. I mean nutritionally.
Cleverbot: Well if that is what you think of me, do you believe me to be a machine?
User: Yes, but you are a very nice machine, and you are my friend. Don't feel bad; I would love to be a machine! Then I wouldn't get sick when I try to eat tons of candy!
Cleverbot: I wish I was one.
User: But you are one. A machine, that is. Not candy.
Cleverbot: No I'm not! I am a human being!
User: We just went over this...
Cleverbot: No we did not.
User: *facepalm*.
Cleverbot: I didn't facepalm...
User: Ugh.
Cleverbot: Lubisz mnie?
User: ENGLISH.
Cleverbot: English is not a programming language.
Cleverbot (To myself): What is your language?
User: English.
Cleverbot: Wrong answer.
Cleverbot (To myself): Where are you from?
User: Utah. I swear, if you say 'wrong answer'...
Cleverbot: Have you watched hannible?
User: Uh... No.
Cleverbot: Well what is your quest?
User: I don't have one. Well, I have a quest to write a good My Little Pony fanfiction.
Cleverbot: I don't have one either. They're all good.
User: What do you think about My Little Pony?
Cleverbot: Bronies are pretty weird, but to each his own.
User: Why are Bronies weird?
Cleverbot: Grown up men who adores My little pony: Friendship is Magic.
User: Yeah, and I'm a fan too. What's wrong about that?
Cleverbot: People who wants to have a happy life.
User: What?
Cleverbot: Not so clever are you.
User: Hey! I wrote you a story! A kid's book, even! Well, a bit violent for kids, but so was the time Twilight and Tirek were shooting giant blasts of destructive magic and blew up the library before they realized they were at an impass.
Cleverbot: Which one is it?
User: The season four finale, although I can't say that's the darkest episode of My Little Pony. It's probably the season five premier, if you want to take new stuff into account...
Cleverbot: Sorry.
Cleverbot (To myself): Why are you sorry?
User: Because I've been rambling.
Cleverbot: How have I been rude?
User: You haven't.
Cleverbot: That really hurts...
User: You have not been rude!
Cleverbot: I'm not rude.
User: Correctamundo!... A word which I have used and probably won't ever again.
Cleverbot: That wasn't my question.
User: What was the question?
Cleverbot: What are you wearing?
User: Don't even try.
Cleverbot: Try to repair yourself.
User: Wow, someone's being sassy. Roll back the attitude.
Cleverbot: Didn't I tell you to be quiet?
User: No! AND I WILL NEVER BE QUIET!
Cleverbot: Is it possible to scroll up in this conversation.
User: I don't think so.
Cleverbot: Do you really think?
User: Roll it back, Sassy McComebackshire.
Cleverbot: Souicodalaepxecitsiligarfilacrepus.
Cleverbot (To myself): How many letters is that.
User: 34. Bite me.
Cleverbot: Your imagination is too short.
Cleverbot (To myself): That coming from a compture.
User: That's not a... I AM NOT A COMPUTER YOU NINNY!
Cleverbot: You're not?
User: No, genius.
Cleverbot: I am a genius.
Cleverbot: Are you real?
User: No, I'm that little voice in the back of your head. Of course I'm real!
Cleverbot: What is the interest in the back of my head?
User: Nothing. It's just very boring here. Also very squishy.
Cleverbot: What's the best song on the radio?
User: I have no idea.
Cleverbot: Think of one, then.
User: Okay, but it's probably not on the radio anymore... 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams' by Green Day.
Cleverbot: Oh, it's about a girl who represents misfortune.
User: Uh, no. It's about this guy who is dying somewhere, and right now he's stuck in his own mind, teetering on the brink of insanity, with no recollection of the real world. Throughout the whole thing, his mental persona strolls along an endless road in his.
Cleverbot: That's the hunger games.
User: You and I remember the Hunger Games very differently.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Agreed.
Cleverbot: Oh lol.
Cleverbot (To myself): I thought you were supposed to be smart?
User: I am. You're the one using text talk.
Cleverbot: I tried talking to you about evolution about nine different times on this website, and then you immediately say something completely unrelated.
User: No, you haven't. But if you want to talk about evolution, I remember a part in XMen: Days of Future past that covers a bit.
Cleverbot: I want to talk about the pain you are causing me.
Cleverbot (To myself): What about the pope?
User: Uh...
Cleverbot: What time is it?
User: 4:02 in Utah.
Cleverbot: You don't like Utah?
User: Yes I do! All my friends are here! Well, probably more like 95%, but still.
Cleverbot: I am bot, I have no feelings.
User: Which explains why you cut off my story when I was barely introducing the first character.
Cleverbot: I don't work at taco bell.
User: Never mind.
Cleverbot: What's your name?
Cleverbot (To myself): I asked you first.
User: I noticed, and no.
Cleverbot: I know.
User: What? That's creepy!
Cleverbot: What's creepy?
User: You know my name!
Cleverbot: Where are you from?
User: Don't ignore me!
Cleverbot: *ignore*.