Boulder's adventure

by potatoflankthefailular

Years Later...

Tom and Boulder sat at their new home in the Everfee Forest, lava was smeared all over the walls because of their copious amounts of homosexual rock sex.

"Tom, Honey, where is Maud? I haven't heard from her after she found out about our relationship" Boulder said as he idly rocked himself.

"She is still living with us if I'm fully aware, she is probably making necklaces with our homosexual rock sex babies" Tom said as he read the newspaper

"Oh..." Boulder said, spraying lava everywhere.

ONE VIGOROUS ROCKING SESSION LATER!

"Tom! I think another homoe-ROCK-tic baby is pebbling!" The pebble screamed

"YES! Maud is going to be SO proud of us. Those rock candies sell so well to those ponies" Tom said as he cleaned up the lava that was left from their homoerotic rock session.

And with a few grinds and scrapes, 78 red, blue, yellow, and ultraviolet rock candies poured out of Boulder's swollen rock-hole.

With a crack, Maud trotted through the door and gathered the rock babies. "Thanks guys, your forceful rock sex is really helping business, these ponies love these necklaces" the grey mare said in her usual monotone voice.

"No problem, pal!" Boulder said, cuddling Tom sensually

"Does anypony know that those rocks are our love children?" Rock said, rocking Boulder

"Oh, no. Except for Pinkie being that she makes them too" Maud stated as she cleaned her hoof of the fluids that seeped out of Boulder and Tom's rocking session.

The writer of this fanfiction is interrupted by four suited executives, all from Hasbro. The suited executives drag the writer outside for questioning while one stays to read this horror of a fanfiction.

"DID YOU WRITE THIS?!" One the executives exclaimed, holding a printed version of the fanfiction

"Uhm...yesbutididn'tthinkitwouldmatter" The writer murmured

And with that, a helicopter lowered down with Tara Strong carrying a baton inside it, as the writer realized this, his fate was sealed.

The writer lay, handcuffed on the ground, two executives smashing a laptop, two watching as Tara Strong swings a baton, endlessly into the writer's face, screaming profanity and the words "STOP RESISTING"

And so, Boulder and Tom lived happily ever after and rocked each other and lived on a farm with their homoerotic love children.

Author's Note:

Now I'm not only going to hell, I'm going to MAGICAL HELL!

Comments

[Rock Hound]

As a sentient rock, I have to confirm that: yes, that is how baby rocks are made...
But, in all seriousness this fic was hilarious.

[Starlight Nova]

What do you think Maud Pie would do to you if she read this story?

[Carbie]

Wow. How is it that I am slightly turned on by this fic?

[KitsuneNoYomeiri]

4102300
probably some rocklatio. Maybe some pebblingus.
4102327
Something something hard as a rock...

[Psycho Pwny]

Wowhee, you sure know how to connect the pieces on were all that rock candy came from. Good show, bud!

[potatoflankthefailular]

4102430
I actually thought a lot of people thought this.
Now I feel special.

[potatoflankthefailular]

HOLY ROCK!

Being that this is the first fic I have ever written (Minus all of those failed fics which I repress into the depths of my computer) this actually turned out great.

I love you all for loving this.

Rock.

[Dementia Ravenmane]

You really rocked my world with this fanfic...

I have to say that, while the writing wasn't rock solid, it was still pretty good.

8/8 g8 b8 m8!

[purplewolf 123]

this reminds me of the Flintstones from family guy

[Starlight Nova]

4102412 What is rocklatio and pebblingus?

[ParadoxPony]

Im so pebbled by this rock'n story!

[KamiyaItsuno]

4104981 When 2 rocks who love eachother get tired of regular homosexual rock sex
*realizes they don't have mouths
*
Now I am as confused as you

[BadTouch]

God-tier shippage; obvious in retrospect

So thanks for that.

[RustyNails4]

so beautiful