Chapter 3
Chapter 3
Eight months in, I was still sharing Celestia’s bed but I was crying less and less at night. As far as I know, it never kept Celestia up or otherwise messed with her sleep schedule. Human children tend to sleep ten hours or so a night. Sleeping from sunset to sunrise was perfect for me and, therefore, Celestia. In fact, to this day, I can’t sleep past sunrise.
I was still going to private studies and spending afternoons in the gardens with Celestia and Twilight. I was also enjoying my monthly visits with Gurfon, who would sometimes bring me gifts along with the meats. He brought me a crossbow once, but Celestia thought, at the time, that ten years was a little young for such a dangerous weapon.
Celestia was, once again, teaching Twilight while I was politely staying out of their way. Neither wanted to shoo me away, nor did they want me to get involved. The last time I was involved in their lessons, I lost everything I had. It was still a fresh wound, but we were working on healing it.
Luckily, I didn’t have to wait alone for too long. Shining Armor came into the gardens looking for us. He was about the same height as I was at this point, and pretty strong for his age. A build like his would normally mean he would be all-star hoofball team captain, but no. Instead, he spent his free time looking after Twilight and dreaming about being a Royal Guard some day.
“Shining! Hey, over here!” I called out, waving my arms like an idiot.
“Hey, Chris, Twily almost done?”
“No, they’ve still got an hour or so. You want to play ‘til they’re done?”
“Okay, but not hide ‘n’ seek. You always go up a tree and I can never find you.”
“What’s the point of being a monkey if I don’t climb trees every now and then?”
We both laughed. It was, and still is, and inside joke for us. He would never call me a monkey or an ape to be mean. He rarely even called me that as a joke, but he still did sometimes. However, like Celestia, if anypony else tried calling me that, they were going to have a very bad day very quickly.
“What’s the point, indeed.” The voice was like claws on a chalk board. Not that it was a particularly harsh or grating voice, it did however belong to the most annoying pony in Canterlot. “What’s the point of even keeping a monkey like you around anyway?”
“Blueblood, stop it.” Shining stepped in front of me.
“Or what? You’ll hit me? You’d strike a royal?” Shining knew he was right. Nopony got away with striking a member of the royal family. “Now, why don’t you and your little,” he actually looked like he was going to vomit, “monster lea~eaeahh~…”
“Very impressive, Twilight. Your levitation has improved greatly.” Celestia smiled down at the struggling filly, “but you better let me have him before he becomes too much for you.” The pale violet aura that surrounded Blueblood faded and was fluidly replaced with a near-blinding golden aura. He was then brought very, uncomfortably close to her face.
“Oh, hello, Auntie. I-I-I didn’t see you there.” I would be lying if I said I didn’t find a lot of joy in this. I have always disliked my cousin.
“I have already guessed that. If you had, then I’m sure you wouldn’t have acted in such a dishonorable way. Remember this; as royalty, our first duty is always to our subjects. That includes those you may think are beneath you." Celestia glared at Blueblood. "A crown is heavy because it is weighed down with the burden of the ponies who rely on you.”
“Yes, Auntie, I understand.” No he didn’t, he never did. He only said that so that she would stop lecturing him.
“Good,” she released him from her magical grip… three feet high, “now stop bothering my guests.” Watching him run off with his tail between his legs always made me feel better. She approached myself and Shining with Twilight by her side. “Thank you, Shining Armor, for looking after Chris. I greatly appreciate it.”
“It is truly a pleasure, Your Highness. I consider Chris a friend and I don’t like to see my friends hurt.”
‘Friend’, I didn’t have many and it felt good to know I had ones as good as Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle. I knew they would always be there for me. I may not have my blood family anymore, but I had them, and I was grateful for them.
“Still, thank you. Chris, are you alright?”
“Yeah, Mom, I’m fine.”
I didn’t even realize I had said it, but Celestia did. Her magenta eyes grew wide to the point that I was afraid they would fall out of the socket. “Di-did you just…”
“Princess, are you okay?” Twilight asked.
“You just… you said ‘Mom’.”
“Did I, I’m sorry. It mus-” I was cut off by a rib crushing hug. Celestia had scooped me up and was doing her best to squeeze me in half.
“Don’t be sorry.” She finally released me so I could breathe. She set me down, and I did my best to re-inflate my lungs. “Oh, Chris, if you wish for me to become your adoptive mother, that would make me so very happy. Will you allow me to become your new mother?”
It was a shock, that’s for sure, but it wasn’t an unpleasant one. “I… I think… yes, I would like that, very much.”
Twenty minutes later, she had tracked down the Royal Record-keeper. Five minutes after that, the adoption papers had been drawn up. Ten seconds after that, I was officially a prince and next in line for the throne. That, of course, was meaningless, as she would outlive me by more than a few millennia.
A party was thrown, a small one obviously. There was a feast with a covered dish just for me, though I really wanted to eat that rabbit right in front of Blueblood just to see his face. Twilight’s family was there, the other guests were palace employees. I understood why, I just wish I could have had more friends there. Of course, I would have needed more friends for that to happen. I also wish there could have been more cake left over for later, but with Celes… Mom around, there was no chance of that happening.
*****
Eight years after I came to Equestria, seven years four months after becoming prince, life was pretty good. I was now fourteen years old and was the almost twice height as an average mare. I had moved into my own chambers seven years prior, complete with balcony and personal water closet. Celestia had even assigned me my own maid, Feather Duster, who wasn’t very pleased about being assigned to ‘the monster’. Granted, the room was only ten yards down the hall from Celestia’s, but it was my own room.
Life had been pretty good to me thus far. Twilight came every day to study in the gardens and Shining Armor would play with me. Running around with him kept me in good health. Even though he was a few years older than me, he still made time for me, and for that, I will always be grateful. But what really made a difference, was when he started to train for the guard.
Gurfon had given me a pair of wooden practice swords and a shield, I always had one sword close at hand if not on me at all times. Shining and I would duel almost every day and both got very good with them. Celestia had arranged for a trainer in the Guard come over and train both us in defensive tactics. I knew Shining would make it far in the Royal Guard, maybe even all the way up to captain one day. ‘Til then, I would watch out for my friend and, though I wouldn’t directly influence his career, I would support him in it.
Whenever there was free time, Celestia would take me on vacations. Sadly, ponies were still nervous around me, so they weren’t real vacations. She would show me the countryside at night by allowing me to ride on her back while she flew over. Sometimes, I would even get to visit Gurfon, who had claimed himself my uncle, in the griffon empire. Other times, rarely, I would be taken to the dragon kingdom. I liked the dragons, they respected Celestia and I, and we were treated well. Plus, they weren’t afraid of me.
Today was the day of the Summer Sun Celebration. The whole of Canterlot was celebrating. There were decorations and bands and parades and fanfare of all kinds. Celestia raised the sun and the ponies cheered and danced and feasted. All this, and none knew what she went through every single year.
“Mom, c’mon, you do this to yourself every year. I wish you would just stop. I hate seeing you like this.”
Celestia had held out all day, and now it was late afternoon. She had performed all the rituals and customs of the festival. Now, she was locked away in her chambers and I was the only living soul allowed to enter for the next ten hours. She was crying into her pillows while I did what I could to comfort her. Rubbing her back, massaging her wigs, even cake never did anything to bring her around. I tried anyway, even as a kid, I would just hug her for hours.
“I do this because I must.” She raised her head and looked at me with bloodshot eyes and fur matted with tears. “I go through with this festival every year so that my little ponies will know that there is still nothing to fear from Nightmare Moon.”
“I understand that, but I still don’t get why it bothers you so much.”
“No, nopony does, it if a little known fact and I have tried to keep it that way for many centuries. However, I do not wish to lie to family.” She gave me a kiss on my cheek. “You see, Nightmare Moon was a vengeful spirit that possessed my sister, your aunt, Luna.”
“So when banished Nightmare Moon, you also banished your sister.” Celestia nodded and buried her head I my chest, still mindful of her horn. I stroked her mane as she soaked my tunic with tears.
For the first time since I came to Equestria, I held her while she cried herself to sleep.
The next month, I was still a little upset. Seeing somepony as strong as Celestia humbled like that weighed heavily on me. That night, I had vowed to never to do anything to soil her good name and conduct myself honorably. Sadly, not everypony in the family felt the same way.
I was walking through the private quarters of the palace, the only place I was allowed to roam freely aside from the gardens. I was in a slightly better mood today because Gurfon would be visiting today. There were still rumors floating around that his monthly visits were for more than political reasons. Rumors she refused to dispute publicly so as to protect me. That didn’t stop me from clocking anypony I heard spreading those rumors. The clang the guards helmets made when rung with me wooden sword could be heard down the halls from time to time. Celestia once told me, in confidence, that she liked that sound.
On my stroll, I was nearly run down by a maid galloping through the halls. I could hear her crying before I could see her. I managed to stop her mad charge. I recognized her, but didn’t know her personally, she worked in the private quarters. She also knew me and was unafraid.
“Whoa there, calm down.” I kneeled down so I was level with her. Her breathing was sporadic and she was reluctant to make eye contact. “What’s wrong? If you tell me, maybe I can help.”
She shook her head, “I do not wish to speak ill of-of…” She was reluctant to tell me more. I could respect that, but I also hated seeing mares cry.
“Listen, Miss… what’s your name?”
“*Sniff* Dust Bunny.”
“Dust Bunny, you know who I am, right?” She nodded. “Then you know I won’t do anything to hurt you, right?” She repeated herself. “You have my word, as Prince of Equestria, that no matter what you tell me, about whomever it may be, that no harm or punishment will be brought against you.” She looked up into my eyes and seemed to be able to tell I was being honest. I could see now that she was quite attractive (what? I grew up around ponies, it only makes since I would be attracted to the pretty ones).
“I-it w-was Blueblood. He said th-that if I-I didn’t la-la-lay with him tonight, he w-w-would have me fired and evicted.” She was begging me on her knees, “please, please don’t let him do it. My husband is out of work and we have nowhere to go. Please help me.”
I lifted her back to her hooves, “were you assigned to him?” she nodded. “Not anymore. Dust Bunny, you will be assigned to me, receive a raise and an extra week’s paid vacation every year. Do you accept?” She couldn’t have nodded faster if she tried. “Good, now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to teach somepony what nobility means.”
I stomped down the halls, straight to Blueblood’s chambers. Fortuitously, he just so happened to catch Blueblood coming out as I approached.
“BLUEBLOOD!”
“What do you want, Monk-” He didn’t get to finish his insult. A fist to the snout kind of stops words. He recovered from the blow and his stumble with a look of shock more than pain. “Y-y-you dare! Guards! Seize this vile creature!”
They started to move but froze when I raised a single hand. “None of you will interfere. Remember whose mother you work for.” They all resumed their posts, much to the surprise of Blueblood. He was even more surprised to see a smirk on their faces. “Good, now why don’t you two go get a sandwich?” They left, smirks still present. “As for you, we’re gonna have a little chat about how to treat ponies.”
Once they were gone, Blueblood knew he was in trouble. Sure he was big, but he never bothered to train like I had. “You keep away from me!”
Blueblood fired a blast of magic straight into my chest, where it did nothing but burn the cloth on top of it. “You ruined my tunic.” I grabbed Blueblood’s horn and dragged him close, “Mother made me this tunic.” Blueblood slammed into the wall where I threw him.
“Chris!” Gurfon’s unmistakable voice called out to them. “Just what are you doing to this colt?”
I bowed before the griffon. “King Gurfon, it is an honor sir.”
Blueblood saw an opportunity, and he charged at me. “Rise, Chris,” I did so just in time for Blueblood to gallop right past me and into a plinth, knocking the vase smashing into his own skull. “You know better than to bow to me, or to address me as such. Now, who am I and how do you greet me?”
I hugged the king tightly, and rolled my eyes “Uncle Gurfon,” the name was said with some sarcasm.
“Good lad. Now just what is this all about?”
“Just teaching a lesson in nobility and modesty.”
“Ah, he did something untoward did he?”
“Tried to coerce his maid into a… compromising situation.”
Gurfon looked down at Blueblood as he stood from the broken plinth and smashed vase. “I see. A lesson well earned. Well, I’m off to see your mother, don’t let me detain you.”
“Alright, I’ll see you later then.” I turned back to Blueblood, who had recovered, and readied myself for more teaching.
Blueblood squared off, trying his best to conjure centuries of royal fighting instinct that he didn’t have. I lowered my stance and readied for his best attempt. Amateurs do sometimes get lucky. Blueblood charged at me, I simply side stepped and tripped him. He slid across the polished marble and came to rest a little ways away. Unfortunately, the first thing that filled his view when he opened his eyes was two golden horseshoes.
“What is going on here?!” Celestia yelled.
I said nothing, he may have deserved a beating, but I wasn’t going to make things harder on him or me. Blueblood, on the otherhoof, was more than happy to whine to Celestia.
“Oh, Auntie, help me. Chris just came up and attacked me out of nowhere and for no reason.”
“Is this true? Did you attack your cousin?”
I glared at the cry-filly, “yes. I attacked him.”
“Go to your chambers. I will speak to you about this shortly.”
I didn’t say anything. I just walked off to my room. I wasn’t mad at Celestia, she was doing her best with the limited information she had. I also wasn’t ashamed, I did the right thing. For now, I would just sit in my room and sulk.
Suddenly, the door to my room slammed open and was quickly slammed shut. I looked up at the furious face of my mother. She slowly walked up to me, I merely stood and looked into her eyes. Gradually, her scowl turned into a loving smile.
She scooped me up and hugged me tighter than she had in a long time. “How did I raise such a good son?” I answered her question with a confused silence. “Gurfon told me what happened. You were defending a mare’s virtue and I am so proud of you.”
After the squeezing, I was told that Blueblood had not only been stripped of his allowance for three months, but would be without a servant for a year. At the end of that year, he would have a butler instead of a maid, and said butler would not do any cleaning for him.
And so, I had finally won a long standing rivalry with my cousin.
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sucks to be blueballs.
not!
tia is best mother.
Yessss...
Such a tasteful victory...
4123999 And the next 300 years^^
This is awesome as per the norm for this fic, hope you keep updating at this speed, this is really, really good
4124400 Thanx for letting me know.
Pre-read comment: 95th like.
Also congrats on having such an original idea. Everyone else has done adult or teenage humans in Equestria, but you did a small human boy who has no idea about the bad things in Equestria. 
And that children, is the story about ''how Blueblood got blueballs''...
You sir, are AWSOME! Sucks to be Blueblood, but on a side note this story really reminds me of Tales of Prince Onyx if you haven't heard of it you should give it a read, you can kind of think of it as a longer (first post was in 2012) darker version of this story, but the only really thing these two have in common is the "human prince" thing going on and a though other points.
4125084 I have read it, it's excellent. It is also the main reason Philamena hasn't shown up yet. She will though, soon I hope.
4125178 Personally I can't wait for him to meet Luna
4125191 I have that interaction planned already. I can't wait myself.
I'm the 100th like? The author should have a mini-celbration, know he got 100 and will recieve more likes
it should involve a giddey jump of delight and air punches of victory!
Hizza, Hizza I say!
Blueblood hasn't read or Equestria doesn't have the A Song of Ice and Fire series, because otherwise he'd know what happens to Joffrey's like him.
4125661 Frankly, I'm just happy anyone likes it at all. Though I am jumping for joy on the inside.
And that butler was Schadenfreude.
4126571 Don't be surprised if you get featured some more, this story is really good
4133829 I was featured? Awesome!
4134037 I'm not sure if you did, I think you did, but I'm not sure, sorry
I think it would be a very idea to get some super-rad artwork, though, considering how many views you have right now I'm pretty sure you'll be featured in no time and, when you are, you'll need some art to attract some eyeballs.
4134420 Sadly, I no can draw.
4134467 Fear not my friend, for there are groups dedicated to doing cover art
4134470 excellent, thanks.
Take that, Blueblood!
So Blueblood forced a maid to sleep with him (rape) and only gets his servants and allowance taken away?
So Blueblood forced a maid to sleep with him (rape) and only gets his servants and allowance taken away?
4323398 what more can they do, kill him...
Nevermind carry on
4323398 *almost forced
The maid didn't actually sleep with him.
kicked his ass
Who would throw him?
...and next in line for the throne.
...I would duel
...tell I was being honest
chapter 3 wow
They would be if they learned of human dragon legends. In those, individual humans wiped out the dragons. One human per dragon. They'd fear you then, for sure.
Woohoo :D
I got something really important to say
*clears throat*
FUCK YOU BLUEBLOOD
I'm happy now
5218036 one human at a time.
Not one per dragon.
5355745 Man I was just happy reading how Chris kicked his ass.
My dad even showed up wondering why I was laughing so hard.
Poor Blueblood, no one gets his character right
I enjoyed that. I enjoyed all of that.
YAY!!! I love it when Blueblood gets his ass handed to him...just to have it kicked right back off.
Yaaa... I was kind of disappointed that he didnt get more hurt, maybe a kick to the balls. I just think that would have made it better.
5682257 Yes!!! Author! Edit that in! Please!!!
I don't normally go for the sad fics, but this is turning out splendidly. Blueblood getting a much deserved beating didn't hurt matters either.
What child actually tries to beat someone and then gets told "oh great see you're doin fine, oh and a blue blood? watch yourself." seriously why is this fine? heck how'd that happen with no repercussions, is blue blood just a punching bag now?
6451944 Blueblood's an A-hole and Chris defended a mare's virtue
There was a novel where the first chapter was called "The chapter from the second half, that somehow ended up first, making it a prologue".
why did this not happen? he is 14 or 18 but im pretty sure that would weigh her down
The song going through my head during that fight scene:
It was, how do you say, "On point."
6451944 are you against the idea of punching blueblood whenever you want
6451944 I think that in light of the fact that blueblood was using his royal status to basically rape a maid,It's quite logical.I mean,based upon the story Celestia raised both with a standard of behaviour and royal conduct,BlueBlood,has acted outside of this standard since day 1 or at least as often as possible within this story.
Also excluding from the fact that this is a story and an author can put anything in a story he/she wants,I believe this is a natural response as seen from the perspective of a brother,or king thats has learned of possible injury to his subject and/or loved one.I could easily imagine myself doing the same in a similar situation.
Is the story perfect? No.
But does it have at least one scene of Blueblood getting comeuppance? Then have a "like"