Chapter 29
Chapter 29
“Cousin!” Cadence galloped down the hall to meet me as I walked to the dining hall with Celestia and Luna, Bunny was behind us. I didn’t get a chance to greet her before she tackled me to the ground in a hug. “I came as soon as I heard what happened.”
“How’d you find out so quickly?”
“Twilight sent a letter,” we both said at the same time and then laughed about it.
Cadence backed off me and allowed me to stand. “I’m really happy to see you, Cady,” I told her as I brushed myself off.
“Wow, you haven’t called me that since we were foals. It must be worse than I thought.”
“Oh come on. You know better than anypony here just how bad it is.”
Cadence’s smile faded. “You’re right, I do. I could feel it from down the hall. Oh, Chris, I’m so sorry.”
I didn’t say anything, I simply nodded and hugged her. “Easy there, Monkey,” Shining called from a little down the hall as he headed toward us, “that one’s mine.”
“Hey, I saw her first.” As soon as he reached us, I threw an arm around his neck and drew him into the hug as well. “it’s good to see you, Shining.”
“You too, Chris. I only wish it was under better circumstances.”
“Well, if you had gotten here yesterday, we would have had some cake left.” I looked over my shoulder at Celestia, who smiled sheepishly and shrugged.
“What? I couldn’t let it go to waste, now could I? Besides, I was a little upset. Still am.” We all got a little laugh at that.
“While this is a wonderful reunion, I believe our breakfast is getting cold.”
“Indeed. Luna makes an excellent point. Let’s eat.”
After I released my favored cousin and her husband, we all followed Celestia into the dining hall. King Gurfon and Blueblood were already there and waiting. Gurfon greeted me with some spicy Bridalian sausage. For his part, Blueblood simply nodded as I walked by. I don’t know if he actually pitied me right now, or if he was afraid of backlash from everypony else in the room.
After breakfast, we all went to the gardens, except Luna, she went to bed, and Blueblood. We were all enjoying the mid-morning sun in the gazebo and simply enjoyed each other’s company. Though I could tell there was a certain subject that was being carefully avoided. So much so in fact, that there weren’t even any roses in the gardens. Luna had them all removed overnight, much to the gardener’s lament.
Cadence had just finished adding her own feather to my collection when my attention was drawn away. “Oh, I almost forgot,” Bunny spoke up, “Iron made this for your birthday, but we never got a chance to give it to you.” She levitated a small wrapped box from within a pocket in her apron.
I held out my hand and she placed the box in it. “You know you didn’t have to do that.”
“And you know we don’t feel the same way. We owe you far more than we could ever hope to repay, so just shut up and open it.”
There was a round of laughter before I obeyed her order. Inside the box was a dagger and sheath. It wasn’t the kind that one would expect of royalty, i.e. covered in gold and jewels. Instead, it had a carved elk horn handle and the blade had two different colors, one half a brilliant stainless, the other a dark gunmetal.
“Wow, this is… it‘s great.” I hugged Bunny tight. “Thank you.”
“I glad you like,” the hug was released, “and I know Iron will be happy too. He told me the two colors are meant to represent the princesses and how they are always there to protect you.”
I slid it onto my belt right then and there, but couldn’t stop taking it out and admiring it. It really got me thinking, a dagger that represents my family protecting me. It actually seemed adequate. Sure, you think protection, you think shield, every sane pony would. Or, maybe a sword. But, a sword is used to cut somepony down, it’s an offensive weapon. A shield would certainly due for protection, but without training, it can be just a big and clumsy chunk of wood or steel. A dagger, however, is sleek, small, mostly unseen, and a last line of defense weapon. Of course, a dagger in the hooves of a spy can bring down governments. Luckily, I wasn’t a spy.
Everypony was conversing and trying very hard to make it seem like that weren’t all there to simply make me feel better. I got their attention rather quickly though.
“I want to take care of the foal.”
Silence.
“Honey, you don’t mean you want to… adopt it… do you?” Celestia finally asked, nervous of the answer.
“What? No, no, of course not.” The collective sigh of relief rivaled the pleasant breeze. “No, I mean setting up a trust or scholarship or something. Rose may be a cheating, lying witch of mare, but her foal hasn’t done anything wrong. I don’t want it to suffer because its mom is a whorse.”
“I think that’s a very mature decision and I couldn’t be prouder of you for making it.” Celestia said as she wrapped a wing around me and drew me in for a hug.
“I agree, though I think we should make sure that Rose can’t get her hooves on the funds you intend for the foal,” Gurfon suggested.
“Right. That mare doesn’t deserve a single bit from you,” Shining Armor agreed. The other ponies present hummed their approval.
I stood up from where I was seated, “I think that would be easy enough to arrange. We do have some of the best law ponies in Equestria employed here in the palace and I have no doubt they could write up a contract that would ensure she gets nothing but the foal gets a decent opportunity in life.” I began to walk away from the group. “For now though, I think I would like to just take a walk around Canterlot and clear my head a little bit. Thank you all so very much for coming.”
“Wait, Honey, take a guard with you.”
“Ah, Mom. I just want to go for a walk by myself. I’m not even leaving the city and you know there aren’t many ponies out there that could pose a threat to me. I don’t need a foalsitter.”
“How about a cousin?” Shining Armor asked. “Let me tag along with you. you’ll have a guard with you and I promise not to keep you on a leash.”
“Done. C’mon.” I waved Shining over as I turned and headed out of the gardens.
“Don’t worry, Princess, I’ll keep him safe.”
“I know you will, Shining. You always have.” He smiled at the compliment and trotted after me.
*****
“Look at all of them, Shining. I know it’s not right, but I can’t help but feel cheated.”
“What do you mean?”
“All these happy couples everywhere. What do they have that I don’t? Why them and not me?” I sighed deeply. “Oh well. There’s no point in dwelling on it. How about we just get drunk?”
“Really? I don’t think I’ve even heard of you drinking before, let alone getting drunk.”
“Never really had a reason before. Now, where do the guards go to drink after work?”
He led me to a small pub not far outside the palace gates. It was nice, clean, and had a very welcoming feel to it. Best of all, it was quiet and fairly empty. There were a few guards that I recognized and started to stand and bow, but I stopped them. They were off duty and I always hated that stuff.
We ordered a tall cider each and sat down in a corner booth. Quietly, we drank our drinks and just enjoyed time away from the mares. Unfortunately, while Shining nursed off just one drink, I had no intention of being able to walk or even talk by the end of the hour. Besides, it was my first time drinking, having only hit twenty-one a few hours before.
Now let me perfectly clear about this, I’m not proud about my behavior in any way shape or form. I’m telling you this simply for the sake of being completely honest. I could just as easily say ‘woe is me’ and skip on to happy times again, but that wouldn’t be fair to everypony.
We had only been in the pub for an hour and a half, and I was already drunk. Of course, as everypony knows, it takes a while for all the alcohol to really get into your system, and there was a lot that still needed to be processed. Luckily, Shining was with me and he always had my back.
“Come on, Chris, we need to get you home,” he said as he tugged on my sleeve with his magic. He was also one of the few who knew the trick of how to use magic on me. “Your mother would launch me of the mountain if I let you make a fool of yourself.”
“Hehe, she totally would too!” I said a little louder than I thought I had. “Luckily, you got Cadence, ‘n’ she’d catch’ou no matter what.” I then patted Shining on the head (again, not proud), “you sir, are the luckiest shtallion in all of Eqwestera.”
“You don’t have to tell me that. Now march!”
“Heh, yes Captain!” I saluted and nearly stumbled.
Somehow, Shining managed to keep me walking in a straight path and upright. Though, due to the height difference, he was unable to keep me from speaking my impaired mind. Even when we came across Fluttershy outside the main gate.
“He~ey… Flutchtershy~… I thought chu went home. Whud are you doin’ here?”
"Um, I was, uh, well you see, I needed some specialized cages and, um, there’s this-”
“Didju know tha-that when you turn your head,” I reached out and took hold of her face and turned it slightly (not proud), “like thish, your mane fr-frames your fash in the cutesht, pink heart.”
The poor mare managed to get out nothing more than a squeak and a heavy blush before she yanked her head from my hands and galloped inside the castle.
“Nice work, Monkey. You scared the poor thing to death.”
“Aww… but I dint mean to. I was jest tryin’ to be nice.” I kicked a loose stone in the gravel path, stumbled, and fell on my butt. I was about to stand up, but instead decided to just lay in the dirt and rocks and stare up at the sky. “Man, I jest don think I’ll ev-ever undershtand mares.”
Shining sat on his haunches next to me. “Chris, I’m married to the Princess of Love and even I don’t think I’ll ever understand them. Hay, between you and me, I’d prefer the battlefield to the dating scene. At least the on the battlefield, you know who is trying to help and who is trying to-” He stopped when he realized just what he was about to say and who she was about to say it to.
“Hurt’chu? Lie to you? U’shou to get a title, money, p-power, statush ‘n’ fame?”
Shining nodded slowly. “Yeah, that. I’m sorry, Chris, but as long as you have a crown, there will be mares out there who will try to use you to get one of their own.”
I propped myself up on my elbows, felt the rocks dig in, and laid back down. “Yeah, Mom ‘n’ Luna warned me ‘bout that already, but I still wanna believe there’re good mares out there.”
“Well, and I know this will sound weird coming from me, but there’s always Twilight. You’re both about the same age and she’s already a princess, so you know she won’t go for your heritage or anything. Why not her?”
“You mean the mare I’ve thought of as a co-cousin for the lasht fif-fteen years? I don think sho.”
“Fair enough. What about her friends? They’re all attractive and around the same age as you. how ‘bout it?”
“Hmm, I don know. Maybe.” I got back up off the ground, with some assistance, and managed to dust myself off. “Either way, I do-on’t wanna think about it right now. Or enytime in thu near future fer that matter.”
Shining let out a deep sigh. “Look, Chris, I wish I could tell you that this was a one-time thing, but that would be a lie. Truth is, when you’re looking for love, you’re going to get hurt. There are a lot of mares out there like Rose, though not quite as extreme, that are going to try to use you. Heck, it’s happened to me.” I looked at him with in mild shock. “It’s true. Having your sister be the sole student of the princess is news that spreads quickly. There was a filly in school I dated who swore she loved me with all her heart, but it was all a lie. Cadence saw through her in a heartbeat and let me know.”
“What happened?” I asked.
“I dumped her. At first, she begged me not to, but that didn’t last. Soon, she was yelling and cursing and calling me names. One of her friends told me a couple days later about how she had planned to date me just so she could get closer to royalty. I was crushed.
“Yeah, bu’ now you got Cady. So didn’t things work out in the en’?” Shining looked at me from the corner of his eye and let a grin start to creep across his face. It finally dawned on me what he was trying to say. “Oh… I get it. So, wh-what you’re sayin’ is, that there’s somepony out there who is meant for me and won’t ever do anythin’ ta hurt me, right?” Shining simply nodded. “An’ that pony is Cadence.” He nodded again but stopped halfway and jerked back to reality.
“Wait, wha?”
By now, I was having fun. I turned and half ran, half staggered into the palace yelling for Cadence and how Shining said we were meant to be. Shining, however, wasn’t having nearly as much fun as me, which made my fun all that much greater.
What I didn’t know was, at that very moment, there was a certain buttery pegasus pacing in her room. “Oh my goodness, oh my goodness.” She was stroking her long, pink mane. She didn’t know what else to do with herself. “Did he really say ‘cute’?”
That was the day I learned of the glories of drink. Well, at least until the morning.
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Well alright then. Usually I like laughing at these "drunk" chapters, but I'm kinda glad he didn't embarrass himself too much this time. Poor bugger.
Finally, FlutterChris has begun
I sense a shipping~! Question is will it follow?
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
He's gonna make a new friend in the morning. And they will be very, very close friends for about an hour or two.
4908610
And they will have long, drawn out conversations for that hour or two.
4908618 Very colorful conversations.
And soon he will find religion and worship by the porcelain altar.
Why do all the best fics make me laugh til my eyes water?
It's painful.
GLORIOUS BOOZE!!! Until the morning...
4908653 Okay, that made me chuckle. Comments rarely do that. You get a thousand points for it, and a mustache.
Glorious
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/1/29/537511__safe_image+macro_princess+cadance_reaction+image_truck_fedex.jpg
Booze is never the answer to an aching heart munchkins, but it can lead to questionably hilarious outcomes.
Moral of the story?
If you intend to get hammered, do so with friends.
4908700 Huzzah! I can have a mustache on my mustache!
4908790
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/685/355/a16.jpg
nuuuuuuu poor Twily
4908790 Hmm...what can Pink do for you?
4908790
LMMFAO!!!
oh Cadance, you have another person who likes you alot.
A truer thing has never been spoken.
4908790 Awesome!
BTW when can we expect the next chapter for Alex or Xander? I'm hooked.
4908883 Also, a tiny bit of foreshadowing. If you think the sun is bright with a normal hangover, imagine one where your mother controls the sun.
4908917
So...
"My baby has his first hangover? Sunrise is going to be a a few minutes later than usual...." -Celestia
4908917 fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/164232_562783300433792_979971680_n.jpg?lvh=1
4909063
With how caring she is, I'd think she'd rather turn the Sun down for him.
4909108
i.imgur.com/pOXNs.jpg
4908909
Tonight hopefully. Work has kept me away from writing much, but I have the rest of today off so it should be done.
One thousand words and a bit in, one thousand and a bit to go
*puts hand up to ear*
Do you hear that?
That's the sound of all of the Chris x Twily shippers crying out in despair
Great chapter btw
Edit: Although I would have liked a Chris x Twily shipping, I knew that it wasn't going to happen.
4909183 It's as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.
Ya know... Rose was in heat... I don't see why they that angry. I mean ya she cheated but still
Me, personally I reckon Chris should go with Twilight.
4909255
The same reason people don't care if you're drunk. You still cheated, being intoxicated isn't an excuse, nor is being in heat.
4909263 it's different thou humans and ponys have a lot in common. I may not know a lot about horses but isn't there 1 priority when in heat to have sex?
4909257
You mean the same person who caused him to be trapped in ponyworld in the first place? Yeah, nah.
it´s good and maybe it would destroy the story, but had liked an adoption.
I have nothing against him drinking, well he had a reason too, but as long as getting drunk doesn´t happen all the time it is ok, it was pretty funny.
the thing with Fluttershy i mean.
If we are lucky enough and he get Fluttershy as a Marefriend i really want a sequel with an adoption maybe. I want just one good romance story with an good adoption sequel and i am happy, i just don´t saw a combination like this.
I needed a dew sentence befor i remembered what happend there, but i really enjoy a new chapter from that story.
I have a prediction, the next chapter the first words will be Chris moaning in pain and saying "never again"
Also what did Cadence write on her feather?
Heh, all he had was hard cider and he got that level of shitfaced drunk? Give him moonshine and he'll likely never wake up.
4909255 The reason he's angry with her is because she cheated, but also because she tried using her being pregnant to keep him from leaving her, that way she could keep living the luxurious lifestyle that of a noble.
4910006 where did it say she wanted to do that? Didn't they have an amazing relationship where she didn't care (after a while) that he was royalty?
4910175 It was implied. The main character talked about how she always wanted to be at the castle instead of Ponyville, and then the time where she sent her sisters to the royal baths, which he even said is for direct royal family only. Also, she states this.
It was under the hope that if she was pregnant, he wouldn't leave her ever. Of course that backfired for her very quickly.
Ah, alcohol. The solution to- and cause of -most of life's problems. Cheers, Chris.
4908957 I stated very early on in the story that Twilight was a princess. This is between season three and four. Also, I refer to Celestia by name so there is no confusion. It's not a great reason, but it's all I got.
4909058 sorry to disappoint
Have a nice day
4909172
4909870 'Love will find you?'
4910297
Are you asking me or telling me?
4910297 cliche but word by the princess of love
4910329 Both?
4910542
