Chapter 6
Chapter 6
Twilight had gone to Ponyville. She was very unhappy about it too. She had Spike going with her, so at least I knew she would be looked after. Even at her age, she still forgot to eat and sleep sometimes. Plus, Celestia had arranged for her to stay in the town library, known as the Golden Oak Library.
The night before the Celebration, Celestia had left for Ponyville. Sadly, I was left behind. At least I would be able to spend the day with Bunny and her family. I couldn’t wait to see her little filly again. Little Cotton Tail with her puffy white mane and tail had to be the cutest filly since Twilight. Of course, she was the only filly I’d seen since Twilight.
The problem was, the sun hadn’t been raised. That was a big problem. What was even weirder was that the unicorn shape on the moon had disappeared. Removing craters from the surface of an astro-body like the moon would take somepony as powerful as Celestia herself.
The fact that somepony out there was powerful enough to not only alter the moon’s appearance but to also make Celestia disappear was terrifying. In fact, it was a nightmare. In fact, the hubbub around the palace was that that’s exactly what it was, a Nightmare.
I wasn’t sure, but just in case, I put on the armor that Iron Hammer had made for me and strapped on the sword and crossbow that Gurfon had given me. Hammer had put on a set of his own armor as well. His armor, like mine, had to be made special. Mine because of my shape, his because he had the muscle mass of two stallions and came up to my chest. He had a bandolier full of hammers around his barrel and knew how to use them.
Now, we hadn’t gotten all done up with the intention of running of to fight. No, we had armored up for no other purpose than to protect Dust Bunny and Cotton Tail. We had holed up inside my quarters and Celestia help any thing that tried to enter the room.
Luckily, nothing happened. After a few hours of unplanned night, the sun rose. Turns out, Twilight was right all along. The Mare on the Moon, Nightmare Moon, had returned to Equestria. She had managed to send Celestia to the moon, her idea of justice I guess, which was why the sun hadn’t been risen.
The biggest surprise was how Nightmare Moon had been stopped. Twilight Sparkle had somehow managed to make five friends in under a day. Then, her and those five mares had worked their way through the Everfree to reach Celestia’s old castle. There they found the Elements of Harmony and used them to not only defeat Nightmare Moon, but return Luna to her former self. The only downside was, the Elements had drained her power to the point that she had resumed her filly form, though she would rebuild her power soon enough and be back to her adult form.
After a huge celebration in Ponyville, Celestia returned to Canterlot Palace plus one alicorn. She had rushed to my room as quickly as she could without raising alarm. Luckily, a six foot tall, white alicorn is an easy thing to recognize. Also luckily, I hadn’t had much practice with my crossbow and the chipped wood could be repaired.
“Mom!” I dropped the crossbow and ran to her. “I was so worried.”
“And yet you still decided to defend Miss Bunny and her foal?” I nodded. “Yet again, you make me proud.” She started to nuzzle me but stopped halfway there, “you can take your armor off now you know.”
“Oh, right.” I removed my armor and weapons as did Iron Hammer. “There, better?”
She hugged me again and nuzzled me, “much.” She released me and nodded to Bunny and her family, “I am also glad to see you are all well.”
“Thank you, Princess. We are also very pleased to see you are alright.”
Celestia nodded again. “Now, Chris, come along. There is somepony I want you to meet.”
She led me into the throne room and instructed me to wait. I did as instructed. I idly wandered around the room and stopped in front of one of the stained glass windows. As I stood there and watched the sunlight dance through the glass, I heard approaching voices coming from the other side of the entryway.
“…I shall give you a tour of the rest of the palace soon, sister. For now, let us just be happy in being together again after all this time.”
“Very well, sister, We shall do as thou hast asked.”
I could hear Celestia giggle at the odd speech pattern, “alright, but first, I must introduce you to somepony.”
“Of course, Tia. We would be…” The second her eyes fell on my, the blue alicorn froze. It allowed me to see her in detail. Her coat wasn’t the dark blue everypony’s used to, but was instead a rich sky blue. Her main and tail also were not the ethereal form filled with the night sky either, it was instead a baby blue with curls. She looked less intimidating and more… like a sweet little schoolfilly, only larger.
“Luna, this is-”
“MONSTER!! THOU DAREST TO INVADE THY HOME!!” Her horn flared. “WE SHALL TEACH THOU THE ERROR OF THINE WAYS.”
She blasted me. She actually blasted me. Normally, a magic blast from an alicorn would be more than enough to take down even a full grown dragon. Fortunately, her power was drained and I was largely immune to magic. That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt though. I reeled from the hit but recovered quickly, covering my chest over the impact area.
“Luna, stop!” Celestia yelled.
“Great, awesome,” I glared at Luna, “just perfect!”
“THE MONSTER SPEAKS?!”
“Well, that makes it official. I really must be a monster if BUCKING NIGHTMARE MOON SAYS SO!!”
I heard the gasp from both mares, but didn’t care. I completely ignored Celestia’s attempts to stop me. I ran out of the throne room, madder than I’ve ever been. The whole time I’ve been here, only a couple ponies ever bothered to know me before they simply branded me. It seemed that that would never change.
“Luna!” Celestia yelled, making Luna tremble at the sound of her anger. “That was my son, your nephew. He has been persecuted his whole life because he’s different. He doesn’t need it from his family too!”
Luna stood there with her jaw hanging open loosely. Celestia stormed off to find me. She went straight to where she always found me when I was upset, the Hall of Legends. Unfortunately, I wasn’t there. Neither was the window I loved so much.
I had always found solace in that window, but not today. All I saw when I looked at that window today was her. That blue bitch who reminded me just how far from home I really was. So I removed that which hurt me.
I had thrown vases, busts and plinths through that window. I made sure that there was only one princess left on that window, and she had pink hair. After I had broken enough glass, I went through it. Below those beautiful windows, was the gardens. I spent a lot of good times in those gardens and I was always comfortable there.
I had gone into the hedge maze. Few ponies knew it as well as I did. Even Celestia didn’t go in there often enough to memorize its twists and turns. It was a pretty safe bet that I would be able to stay hidden in there for as long as I liked.
It may have been foolish, but I was hurting. First Blueblood, then the guards, then the whole city and probably all of Equestria called me a monster. Now, the biggest threat Equestria had ever faced had been turned back to her former self and still, I was the monster. I just wanted the world to go away. Just go away and leave me alone.
The sound of wings overhead let me know that wasn’t going to happen. I scurried under the hedge to remain hidden and waited for the wings to fly away. Just as I was about to crawl out from my hideout, I heard hooves and shouts. I also saw magic lights from unicorns, it had gotten dark. Celestia must have sent the guards out to look for me.
Even after they passed, I decided to stay put. I had played in far worse filth than the underside of a hedge in the royal gardens. Besides, it reminded me of home.
Celestia flew over the gardens for the fourth time that day. She was worried for my safety. She was hurt by my pain. She was angry that it was her own sister that had caused it. More than anything, she was scared. Celestia was downright terrified that I had run off for good, or worse, that I had tried to run and gotten hurt by someone or something. Equestria was home to some pretty nasty creatures after all, and she knew I wasn’t one of them.
Luna flew up next to Celestia. “Sister, has thou found any signs?”
Celestia put all her concentration into holding her tongue and her tears back. Screaming at Luna or bawling her eyes out would serve no useful purpose right now. “No, Luna, I have not, and I am getting more and more concerned.”
“We-We are sorry. We did not know of thou relation to that-”
“Watch. What. You. Say.” Celestia glared at Luna from a very uncomfortable distance of only a few inches. “Chris is my son and I will not have anypony speak ill of him or call him monkey or ape or creature or… or monster.” Celestia couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. She slowly drifted down to the ground and dropped onto her haunches. Luna touched down next to her and wrapped a wing around her sister. “I’ve tried… I’ve tried so hard to help him and keep him safe. Everyday he makes me happy and so very proud, but still… still I feel like I’ve let him down. I feel like I’ve let him down the same way I let you down one thousand years ago.”
“No, sister, it was We who let thou down. Thou did what must be done in order to protect Equestria. Thou art far too hard on thou self.”
Celestia actually snickered a little, “we really must work on your speech patterns, Luna,” Luna smiled and nodded in response, “but thank you. For now, let us continue our search.”
Both princesses took to the air once again and spread out. Luna went over the gardens while Celestia went to check the city one more time. She had thought that I might have gone to Fancy Pants, I had grown fairly close to him despite only seeing him a dozen times or so. Luna, being unfamiliar with Canterlot, didn’t think she could be of any help there.
I had gotten out of my hole in the bushes and continued deeper into the maze. The underside of a bush was comfortable and all, but I didn’t really want to stay there all night. Instead, I went to the pond in the center. There was a tree and a few benches that I could sit on. I never understood why ponies needed benches when their legs don’t bend the proper way to use them.
I sat on the bench in the moonlight and watched the fish swim. I envied them a little. They knew their purpose. They were where they were meant to be. They were with their own kind. No one ever called a koi a monster.
I sat there and wallowed in self-pity, so much so that I almost didn’t hear the wings or the sound of hooves on grass.
“Go. Away.”
“Christopher.”
I only heard that voice once, but once was enough. At the time, I never wanted to hear it again. “You. You can go right back to the moon for all I care.” I stood and got right in her face. “Every day, every single bucking day, Celestia worries that somepony is going to say something or do something to drive me away. And what’s the very first thing you do when we meet?” Luna’s eyes were wide with shock at the realization, this was all her fault. “That’s right, you did both. You’re just lucky I’m partly immune to magic or I doubt Celestia would have been to stop herself from returning the favor.”
Now Luna was confused. “Why would our sister attack us?”
“I guess she didn’t tell, she’s my mother now. I was brought here by accident and she took me in. I watched Celestia suffer through the memory of your loss and listened to her say how much she wanted you back by her side. For years, I held her as she cried herself to sleep every year on the anniversary of your banishment. The same way she held me as I cried for having lost my home and family. She took me in and loved and cared for me for thirteen years.” I thrust a finger in her face where it shook with anger. “She wanted you here more than anything so we could be a family. You took that away from her!”
“We are sorry. We did not know.” Now I could see her eyes starting to moisten. “We truly are sorry for what We have done.”
“I believe you, but I’m going to be mad for a while anyway. Now, I’ll return to the palace, you go and bring Celestia home.”
Luna agreed and flew off. I, on the other hand, returned to my room where Bunny and her family were waiting for me to return. Also, there was a shower in there.
I had come out of my wash room, fresh and clean, just in time to hear the door nearly come off its hinges before I was tackled by a very happy alicorn. “Oh, Chris, thank goodness you’re alright! I was so very worried!”
“I’m okay, Mom, I’m okay.” My apparent well-being did little to hold back the tide of squeezes and kisses. "I’m also sorry about the window in the hall.”
“Oh, don’t worry about that, Dear, I’m just glad you’re alright. Luna told me she found you.”
“Yeah, and we talked for a bit. I think I’m willing to try being a family if you two are.” I nodded toward the splintered door, that still had a crossbow bolt stuck in it, where Luna was peeking around the corner.
“Well, how about it, Luna, are you ready to be an aunt?”
Luna hesitantly stepped into the room and gave a single nod. “Yes, We would like that very much.” She closed the distance between Celestia and myself and hugged both of us.
And that was when out family became complete.
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A tad quick, but good nonetheless.
Leaving the crossbow bolt in the door was a nice touch.
...
It should be left there.
I can picture a minotaur ambassador walking past and stopping to ask Celestia, "Are you aware you have a crossbow bolt embedded in this door?"
4160803 Interesting idea.
I know I've been updating quickly, this story is just flowing right on out. I don't know how long I'll be able to keep up this pace though.
ah yes good stuff this chapter.
I do wish it was a bit longer, but if the updates keep coming I don't see the harm.
4156108 You sure about that?
This is the most entertaining typo in the chapter. I am imagining holding onto a chicken protectively.
And someone else can make the obvious joke about Scootaloo.
Should hang a picture from that bolt in the door...
Also you might want to find yourself an editor or take some time out yourself.
Other than that, love the story, no idea why it got 16 dislikes.
It's good, but it happens so fast, you just need to slow down. The things that happened in these chapters could be spread out over a couple. His interactions with fancy pants could of easily been a chapter or so. His interactions with the sky and meeting Luna could have been two chapters as well. Oh well, I like the concept, I also realize your probably just trying to get caught up to the present, hopefully it slows down then.
I like the story, I really do. But Chris is just to forgiving to be believable.
To be called, treated and attacked as a ''monster'' by Luna should fester more inside Chris' mind. Especially since Luna should know how it feels to be treated as a ''monster'', a freak, an outcast and left unwanted, and should thus feel empathy towards Chris.
That speech Celestia held about the ''ape on the loose'' caused Chris to not be on speaking terms with her for a week and a half, and he just spoke to her because he didn't want too abandon her on the Summer-sun celebration.
I would then guess that what Luna did would warrant more than that. Considering since his favorite window was of Luna (If I were to guess, because he felt she was in a similar situation as himself) and from her own experience she should have known not to judge to quickly. Just drag out the path of forgiveness a little further and don't rush it, then it would all be ''peachy''.
The rest is good, but you might want to consider to the next chapter to revolve around how Luna tries to redeem herself (maybe even from her POV) and how Bunny and her family will act towards Luna for this slight.
A chapter following the POV of Bunny. Fancy Pants, Blueblood and Celestia during a usual day would actually be very interesting. We would then get to see how they handle the fact about Chris being referred to as an urban myth-monster and their public (and hidden) reactions to this.
awesome story, maybe a bit quick, but I like it
Can't wait for when we get to the moment where Celestia goes all rage on the mane six for hurting her son.
This chap clearly shows how original you are.
In the other story I read in which Celestia's human son, and Luna meet for the first time..things weren't quite as tense.
mainly because they met in Luna's room, and all Luna did was shoot magic bolts at him, while he deflected with a broomstick.
and, the reconciled during Dinner, when said human took Luna's job as Night Guardian when Luna went on vacation with Celestia.
But, THIS was deeper, more emotional. You are VERY creative.
4161535 what story is that?
4161717
This one. with THIS chapter being what I was referring.
4160893 You're meaning "fowl", not "foul" when the author probably meant "foal".
4160893 Actually, that would be fowl. This sounds more like the foal, Cotton Tail, was it, is a little brat.
4161535 I... Cannot tell if you are being sarcastic or not.
4162175
Dangit you're right. Now I kind of feel like fool.
I blame my mistake on the fact that I made that comment at about 3 AM, and at that hour, I can be quite a silly pony
And, yes, I know what the author meant, I was just trying to make a joke. But it seems that I messed up and it fell flat on its face.
4162216 This apology is brought to you by the Letter J!
Don't worry...happens to everyone (especially me).
4160893 Sorry but chickens are fowl. Foul means wrong or bad.
4161022 It will
4161435 Chris didn't say he forgave Luna, he said he believed her. Also, when Luna returned, she was welcomed with open arms. It wasn't until she regained her adult appearance that she was feared by ponies.
Listen Chris, you are different. Your personality is different, your diet is different, your physical form is
different. You are DIFFERENT.
And the sooner you come to accept the fact that your not a pony, and that ponies will never reacte to you the same, the better. You need to accept your differences.
And YOU, author. You need to stop running this whole 'fear me, fear me not' story arc. Especialy since the ponies rearely reacte with fear. More often than not they lash out and attack Chris. An appropriate reaction to fear would be to run away, to hide, to scream. Ponies have a much larger flight-to-fight ratio in favor of flight.
No, your ponies seem to reacte more in hatred than in fear, going out of their way to inflict physical harm on Chris. You should either: tone down the level of malice in the ponies; or entirely change the focus of the story to that of racism, hatred, and biggotry to more effectively carry the narritive.
4162196
Then, let me be clear on saying: I am NOT.
4162252
It's just how it's written that makes Chris seemingly just halfway mad at Luna. For me it seems like he is saying ''I'm mad at you now, but very soon I will forgive you anyway.''
And in that regard.... I am already thinking that Chris have decided to forgiven Luna.
When it comes to Luna.... I was talking about her decent into Nightmare Moon, as that may have been caused by the ponies believing that Luna was Celestia's antithesis. Light vs Dark, Good vs Evil, Hero vs 'Monster'. In short, I'm talking about Luna's experience of being shunned, rejected and persecuted pre-Lunar banishment.
Not really a far-cry from believable that they would be so easily railed up to use prejudice as a ''weapon'' against something or someone they don't know.
At least that's my opinion. Whether or not you want to use it or not is up to you, I just hope it helps one way or the other.
4162331 Ah, good.
4162412 Ah, valid point.There will probably still be some pent up anger, but Chris will mainly by doing it for Celestia's sake.
I think that there was only 1 flaw in this chapter, but it was rather major: it's too damn fast, you need to slow your roll and give as much detail as possible without being boring.
I do, however, like Chris's interactions with Luna and I hope we see more of it later.
You need to get an editor up in here, I'm seeing lot of errors throughout the story.
4163408 What? I wrote it in a day, give me a break. So far, this story has simply flowed from my imagination, but I don't know how much longer that will last.
4163691 Let me me know where they are, and I will fix them.
Admiral Zhao disagrees fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/063/7/3/PUNCH_A_FISH_IN_THE_FACE_by_Booter_Freak.png
4166395 Oh dear... try and keep your imagination running in any way that ya can, I'd hate for this story to be cancelled
4171087 I have a few ideas already.
Too bad work gets in the way.
4172462 It's the same with me and school and other books that I want to write
Nice cover artwork.
4200892 Thanks, some guy made it special.
<Waves cross while burning incense> The power of Christ compels you! Get thee from this house thee demons of stupid! Out I say!
Just kidding
But seriously... I hate this trope
Think about it... Equestria is home to and plays to numerous omnivorous and carniverous species. Ponies have pets who eat meat!
Great story so far, and I haven't noticed many errors, but one of the ones I did notice is one that many, many authors here on Fimfiction suffer from: Poor archaic grammar. It can be pretty hard to nail Luna's dialogue, luckily I wrote a blog post for just the occasion!
This is painful to read. Equestria has numerous sapient non-pony species; a well dressed, skinny ape-minotaur would not arouse such panic. You've handed everyone in this story an idiot ball.
There is also the matter of his upbringing. Celestia kept him isolated in the castle with no regard to his future education or occupation? This behavior breaks suspension of disbelief, especially coming from someone who encourages socialization.
You've characterized Blueblood on less than five minutes of observation of him being hounded by an obnoxious social climber. Complex characters are interesting; on the other hand, you've written him as a misogynistic ass with no redeeming qualities.
Luna attacking him also breaks suspension of disbelief. A more in-character response: "Praytell, what manner of creature are you? I have not seen the like of your kind before."
I'm really hoping that there's some sort of magical or otherwise supernatural effect that makes most ponies react so violently to Chris, because it does seem a little stupid for anyone living in a world with such a diverse amount of sapient races to just randomly attack something they don't immediately recognize which isn't being threatening. By this logic, Pinkie should have blasted Gilda in the face with her party canon when they met, as she obviously had never met a griffon before since Dash had to explain her.
“No, sister, it was We who let thou down. Thou did what must be done in order to protect Equestria. Thou art far too hard on thou self.”
ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH
“No, sister, it was We who let THEE down. Thou DIDST what must be done in order to protect Equestria. Thou art far too hard on THYself.”
4489928 So rarely are there any people on htis site who actually know how to use archaic english properly.
4734186
Oh Archaic spelling, only rivaled in its misuse by the much more common modern english spellings.
dam i want to reach the timline from the first chapter already
.
4839449 THE TIMLINE WILL GUIDE US ALL! (See you spelt timline, and not timeline) <3
5336638 GODS PRAISE THE HOLY AND ROYAL LINEAGE OF THE TIM!!
of course he's immune to magic
Should be " plus one alicorn"
First off all, does he have some E-Z strap on his armor for quick removal or something? Because I actually own, wear, and use medieval style armor and my half plate take about twenty minutes to fully remove and pack away, fifteen if I'm quick and leave a random pile.
Also, you seem to skip over a lot if emotional turmoil inside the characters, with bland statements like 'I'll be mad for a while' right after semi-intense bouts of rage.
Honestly, if a character would go off on a rage-fueled tangent, keep it going till the character runs out of steam, then have it peter off, usually without a solid conclusion to te rant. It is more natural that way.
lanternhollow.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/koizilla.jpg?w=616&h=316
Uh...
5572700 but of course. Each race must have something over the stick heads otherwise they would be OP.