Chapter 18
Chapter 18
“You can stop laughing anytime, Twi, it wasn’t that funny.” Twilight had been guffawing since the incident at the picnic. “Poor Fluttershy had to be carried back to her cabin by Applejack. She’ll probably be scarred for life.”
“Oh come on, your pale butt isn’t that scary,” Twilight teased.
“I don’t think it was my butt that made her faint.”
“Are we bragging? ‘Cause I hate to tell you-”
“I know full well about the size difference, thank you. Mother insisted on teaching me about… that. You think having that conversation was awkward with your mom, try it when there are laughing maids in the room. Ugh, and don’t even get me started on the magic visual aids.” I closed my eyes and shivered.
Twilight snickered at my past plight. “Yeah, yeah. You’re just worried your fillyfriend will find out that somepony else got to see your bits before she did.”
“What fillyfriend?”
“You know exactly who I’m talking about.”
“Who, Rose?”
“See, I knew you liked her.”
“Oh for Mom’s sake, Twilight. She is not my fillyfriend!”
“Only because you’re too scared to ask her out.”
“Hey, I am not afraid.”
By this point in our conversation, we had reached the middle of the marketplace. We were also drawing a lot of attention. For one thing, we were both royalty in a small town. Another reason, we were starting to get a little loud.
“Prove it,” Twilight dared with a sly grin.
“Fine, I will!”
By chance, we had stopped right in front of the flower shop. I spun on my heels and marched right in through the front door.
“Hello and welcome to- oh, Chris, back so soon?”
“Rose, I would like to ask you to dinner tomorrow night.”
“Oh, uh, alright. How about… seven o’clock?”
“Excellent, see you then.” I turned and walked back out the door. Twilight was standing there with a look of mild shock on her face. I poked her nose with a single finger. “Ha! Told you I wasn’t scared. Wait, what just happened?”
“You just asked Rose out on a date.”
“Ah, I thought that’s what happened.” I stood there, motionless for a second or two, then, “RARITY!” I ran as fast as I could to her boutique. Twilight was galloping right beside me, she seemed to know what I was doing. However, there were a few panicking ponies who seemed to have no idea as they ran for cover.
It wasn’t long before we were barging through the front door of the Carousel Boutique. “My word! What is going on here?” Rarity asked, clearly surprised by our presence.
“Rarity, I need your help. I need something to wear and some advice.”
“Hey, why not ask me for advice?”
“No offense, Twi, but dating books are not the kind of advice I really want right now.”
“Hmph,” Twilight grunted.
“Wait, dating books? Do… do you have a date, Chris?” Rarity seemed appropriately surprised.
“Yeah, though I’m still not exactly sure how it happened,” I said while rubbing my chin.
“And you came to me for advice and an outfit?”
“Well, yeah,” I shrugged.
It took a while for my hearing to return after Rarity’s squeal of joy. I wasn’t fast enough to cover my ears in time. I had only just managed to catch that cute little dance she does when she gets excited. It made the ringing in my ears worth it.
“So you’ll help me then?”
“Are you joking? Not only do I get to design clothing for royalty, but I get to help a friend at the same time. Plus, to top it all off, I get the added challenge of dressing an entirely different species. Of course I’ll help, Darling. However, if this is some sort of cruel joke, I shall never speak to you again.”
We both chuckled, “understood. Now, where do you want me?”
The next two hours were very long ones indeed. Rarity took my measurements from every angle imaginable and poured every ounce of romantic advice she could into my brain. The whole time, Twilight sat on one of Rarity’s chaise lounges and watched the show. Luckily, Sweetie Belle was spending the afternoon with her big sister and served some decent tea (Rarity had given her many, many lessons on cooking since Sweetie’s last attempt at cooking breakfast and those lessons had begun to pay off). Hopefully, this would all be worth it.
“…I trust your tastes in fashion, I just want to be sure you don’t go overboard is all. I know I’m royal and all, but I started life as common as could be. It never really grew out of me.”
“I understand, Dear. You have nothing to worry about. After all, I made Applejack look fabulous, didn’t I?”
“I didn’t really get a good look from my hiding place during the Gala last year, but it seemed so. Alright, I’ll place my trust in you. I mean, Twi trusts you and I’ve always trusted her judgment.”
“High praise indeed.” Twilight blushed a little at the compliment. “You shall not be disappointed. You may come by tomorrow afternoon to pick up your new outfit.”
“Excellent. How much will it cost?”
“Oh, I will not hear of it. You are a friend and you are in need. All I ask is that you tell everypony who asks where you got your beautiful new attire.”
“I think I can swing that. Thank you so very much, Rarity. And take care of that cute little sister of yours.”
“Oh, she’s a hoof-full that one, but I shall do my best. Ta-ta.”
Together, Twilight and I headed out of the boutique to begin our trip back to the library. She was still trying to give me advice for tomorrow, whether I wanted it or not. At least I got some ideas on where to go.
Too bad we were so engrossed in our conversation that we missed the incoming mint-green missile. A unicorn mare slammed into my chest and knocked me to the ground. After I stopped sliding, I realized she was still sitting on my stomach, making it tricky to get a full breath. Luckily, my salvation wasn’t far behind. Twilight and an earth pony mare with pink and purple curls came galloping up next to us. The earth mare looked quite irked, and Twilight looked none too happy either.
“Look, Bon-bon, I told you he was real. It’s the Monster of Canterlot, right here, in the flesh,” she was jabbing my chest and looking back and forth from me to her friend. I could feel her body shaking with excitement.
Everypony within fifty yards was lucky I’m so fast. I managed to push Twilight’s chin up just in time for her magic blast to miss its intended target. On the bright side, I learned something new (so did Lightning Strike I found out later) clouds can, in fact, explode (Lightning Strike was sitting on the cloud at the moment of detonation).
“Whoa, easy, Twilight. I don’t think she meant any harm.” Twilight didn’t answer, she was still seething too much to say anything.
Bon-bon was carefully pulling her stunned friend off my stomach. “I’m so very, very sorry, your majesties. Lyra just gets excited sometimes. Please forgive us.” By this point, Bon-bon was forcing Lyra to match her bow by pushing her head into the dirt while I propped myself up on my elbows.
“That’s quite alright, Ms. Bon was it?”
“Uh, Bon-bon, your majesty.”
“As in the proprietor of ‘Bon-bon’s Bonbons’?”
“Yes, sir.”
“I hear good things about that shop, I’ll have to stop in sometime.” That got a very winning smile in return. “Anyway, as I was saying, no harm was done, so don’t worry about it. I just don’t understand why she was so excited about seeing me.”
“Are you kidding?” Bon-bon waved a dismissing hoof. “Ever since she saw that article in the paper years ago, she’s been obsessed.”
“Hey, I am not obsessed,” Lyra tried desperately to defend herself.
“Uh-huh, and you also don’t have a scrapbook filled with-” Bon-bon was cut off by a minty hoof being shoved in her mouth.
“Okay, I’ll admit to being interested, but nothing more. I mean, c’mon, a completely new creature, never before seen in Equestria, is stalking the rooftops of Canterlot. Then we find out that he’s none other than Princess Celestia’s son. Who wouldn’t be interested?”
Twilight had finally calmed down enough to breathe normally and see colors other than red. “Fine,” she growled, “Just don’t ever call him a monster or creature again!” Twilight pointed an accusing hoof at them, “Got it?!”
“Y-y-yes, Princess, we u-u-unders-stand! P-please forgive us!” both mares jumped to their hooves and bolted out of sight.
“Twilight,” I grumbled as I got back to my feet, “was that really necessary?”
“Of course it was. You were attacked and they called you a monster.”
“No, she called me ‘the Monster of Canterlot’, that was what I was called in the papers until a few days ago. You overreacted. Believe me, I’m something of an expert in that department.”
“Wha- bu- she- *sigh* maybe you’re right. It’s just, I get so upset when somepony is mean to my friends. Especially when it’s family.”
I knelt down and hugged Twilight, “have I ever told you how much I appreciate it that you and your family accepted me like you did?”
She giggled, “maybe once or twice.”
“Good, ‘cause I meant it.” I released her and stood back up, “now, let’s get back to the library, I’m getting hungry.”
*****
That night, I didn’t bother writing a letter to Celestia. I wasn’t mad at her or being spiteful or anything, I just didn’t think she needed to know about my being the butt of Fate’s joke. I guess I could’ve informed her of my date, but I’ve had enough female advice for one lifetime. Besides, I couldn’t take another lecture on romance.
Instead, Twilight and I decided to call it a night early. We were both still really tired from all the swimming and excitement of the day. It wasn’t long before we were fast asleep. However, I was dreaming alone for long, hazards of being related to the princess of the night’.
I woke in the dream world modeled after Celestia’s private chambers to find myself locked in a vice-like embrace. There was only one pony who could have squeezed me like this. “Mom, loosen up. I know it’s a dream, but it still hurts.”
“Just a few seconds more.” Now she added in a rocking motion. Finally, I was released, “there, all done. I’ve just missed you so much, I couldn’t help myself.”
“It’s been two days-”
“Three!” Celestia pointed out sternly.
“Ugh, three days, does that really warrant you breaking my dream ribs? Wait, how are you even in my… urgh, c’mon out Aunt Luna.”
“I do apologize, Christopher,” Luna faded into view from the shadows, “Sister practically forced me to arrange this meeting.”
“I understand, Aunt Luna, and I’m not mad, just surprised is all. I love both of you and I’m glad I get to see you.” I wrapped my arms around both the alicorns. “I’m just surprised is all. I was expecting nightmares about my… lively day.”
“Oh,” Celestia asked, “and just what happened today to cause you nightmares?” I could feel the motherly protective instincts radiating off her.
“Nothing, Mom, it was just some minor embarrassment that was largely self-inflicted. Really, if anypony were to have nightmares, it would be Fluttershy.”
Luna closed her eyes and seemed to be listening to something only she could hear. “Hmm, I don’t sense any nightmares in her vicinity. If anything, I would say it was more like a dream about…” Luna didn’t finish her sentence, rather, she just blushed heavily and her eyes shot open.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. “Is everything alright?”
“*Ahem* There are some dreams that are meant to stay private.” Luna looked to be on the verge of panic. Especially with the sweat beading on her face. “Speak no more of this!”
“Easy, Sister. Chris was merely concerned for his friend. Speaking of which, how are things going with them?”
“Pretty good, actually. We had a real nice picnic today and I did a little sparring with Rainbow Dash. Which reminds me, Corporal Lightning Strike? Really?”
“Oh, you saw him did you?” Celestia blushed and turned her face away from me.
“Kinda hard to miss a guard tackling somepony you’re in the middle of sparring with. What the hay, Mom?”
“I’m sorry, Sweetie, I was just worried about you.”
I held Celestia’s head and kissed her just under her horn. She giggled, just like she always does when I do that. “I know, Mom, I understand. I just wish you would have discussed it with me first.”
“You’re right, of course, I overstepped. I just don’t want to leave anything to chance when it comes to the safety of my precious son.”
“Alright, alright, enough. You’re embarrassing me.”
She snatched me up in her legs again. “So? It’s just the three of us here, and Luna feels the same way I do.”
“It is true, I care for you a great deal. Sadly, our time in this realm is short and we must all return to our true selves. Christopher, please take care of yourself.”
“I will, Aunt Luna, I love you.”
“Don’t forget about me,” Celestia said as she tightened her grip once more and nuzzled me relentlessly. “I love you so very much.”
I returned her squeeze and nuzzle but added a kiss on the cheek. “Never. I love you too much for that to happen.”
Gradually, the dream world vanished and was replaced with Twilight’s loft. The sun was already warming my face. It was like Celestia was caressing me from an eternity away. It was definitely an advantage to having a deity as a mother.
I sat up in my bed and rubbed my hands down my face. Today was going to be… interesting. I had a new outfit to pick up, my date with Rose, and I still had to deal with all the girls who had seen too much of me already. Oh well, have to face the day at some point, might as well be this one.
And that was the end of one of the most… interesting days of my… to that point anyway.
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Oh, Flutters, you lovable little mare! Glad to hear you're not repressing anything in private.
is he just gonna forget what Luna was saying about Fluttershy having a lady wet dream about him?
Celestia rocked him?
Was he a child in the dream or something?
4527495 I don't actually think he knows about the wet dreams about him. Luna never specified about what she saw in Fluttershy's dream.
4527495 It's just a wet dream. Ladies get wet too.
4527495
sure why not? sometimes us men can be super oblivious.
Yeah! Gonna get some rose!
This story just grows on me...
ok now i shall leave i got bored here i shall go now
tgfb.net/bitch/src/133256851597.jpg
4527668 he wants the "R"
4527495
I don't know about you, but if I were in Chris' place, that would only make me more comfortable being around her.
Not out of romantic interest, but simply because it let's me know that she's not scared by my presence, or disgusted by my body.
(Disgust -or at least an ill at ease feeling- would be the most likely reaction from another species at such a sight.)
It's not a question of what's going to happen next, more a question of how awkward and embarrassing it will be. And adorable of course.
4527819 what I meant to
saywriteconvey is the question if the authors gonna bring it back up...Fluttershy Wet Dreams?
...I LOVE IT! 
...But This Is Rose x Chris So.. Yeah. You Bloody Tease. 
4527844
I got that, but I also wanted to voice my thoughts -being somewhat in-line with your own, though partially a non sequitur- on the subject as well.
4528056
You've taken the thoughts right out of my mind!
(As opposed to "words right out of my mouth".)
Fluttershy thinking of a human that way really makes the most sense out of all the MLP characters.
Afterall, we'd essentially be the rarest and most exotic creature in all Equestria, so naturally Fluttershy would be drawn to that alone.
Then stack on the fact that humans are intelligent (Well, I suppose that could depend on the person...
) and you've got a situation right out of Fluttershy's wet dreams (Pun intended! 
).
Think you "know" rather than "now"
Think I saw a few more minor errors but I'm too drunk right now to spot'em. I'll get back to you when sober.
when celestia finds out he has a marefriend over protective mom mode activated
As alays it's a delight Reading of how much of a obsessive mother Celestia is.
Could you just kill blueballs already?
Nothing gets the blood pumping like have scissors fall RIGHT next to your balls...
4529163 Nobody wants to be gelded.
Well…its seems Fluttershy was impress, either Chris has being gifted by the gods, or she already had a crush and seeing the royal jewels had make things slightly worse. Oh well, it was a nice call Chris never mention Rose to Celestia and Luna, knowing her she will be looking very close at Rose, VERY close to the mare, DARING her to just think on hurting her precious little boy heart.
P.S: Interesting note, some scientific had claim that the men organ, had a pelicular attribute, according to them, the smaller the organ the bigger it will get erect with the proper stimulation, while horses…I think don't had that attributed so…yeah the mare Chris is happy to see, will be VERY happy as well
That must be potentially devastating to your self confidence if you live in a world were every male is hung like a horse but you.
Hopefully this won't be a problem to the prince.
As for poor
, I wonder if she is shocked because she saw the royal jewels and if the jewels were looking back. 
4527742 I'm sorry you didn't like it,
but thanks for giving me a chance
4527844 At this point, I don't plan to. Besides, Luna never really said it was Fluttershy having a dirty dream.
4528344 Thanks for the catch.
4530810 it's not like i dident like it it just got boring for me
4528091 Eeyup.
.Okay, still sorry
.
4530814 Oh, okay
Okay, does anyone else get a vision of Celestia in a trench coat and sunglasses following Chris and Rose around when she finds out about the date? Because that is one of two things I envision happening. The second is maybe this
x 1000
I'm hoping against hope that he's referring to himself here; shows some insight into his flaws, even if the rest of the world doesn't. At the same time, I can't help but think he's talking about all the ponies who ever treated him badly.
I hope I'm being unfair to him here.
No matter what story it is (excluding Fluttermac) she seems to like small lovers...
4548389 No, you were right, he was referring to himself overreacting.
Hmmm…well I had this weird feeling that MAYBE the date doesn't work and Rose just don't see him as anything but a friend and hey, we have yet to see him react to rejection right?
4558341 I've got bigger plans
4558501
oh cryptic, I like it
4558564 Everyone will either love it or send me death threats.
either way, I hope it's as shocking as I want it to be.
4558909
And it will come up soon?
Remember kids, as long as you are royalty you can assault people without the repercussions of the law.
4566364
Unless you're Prince Blueblood of course!
now if the date with Roseluck goes well we might get a little love triangle with her, Fluttershy and Chris......maybe.
and maybe with Lyra as a stalker as well
4530692 Honestly I don't understand why they would be hung like horses, considering Equestrians' seem to be around 1/6-1/8 the size of a real horse. At least that's what I get out of this, if Chris is able to put Pinkie in his lap and carry them with ease they have to be small, like 40-60lbs small. Equestrian ponies also have compact barrels in relation to real horses, which have really long barrels. That means a mare wouldn't be able to accommodate a 12 inch meat rod. A custard thrower longer than 8 inches would be overkill for something that small.
Uh sorry did I really just say all that?
Anyway back to reading for me.
chapter 18
"However, I was dreaming alone for long, hazards of being related to the princess of the night’."
Believe you meant this to read "wasn't dreaming alone"
I think a certain group of mares are in for a shock when they realize that it grows.
Lyra too?
The hell is this now?
A love rhombus!?
I love the sibling banter between Twilight and Chris
A date with Rose and Fluttershy has an interesting dream about him?
Oh! Maybe Fluttershy will walk in on his date? Hm... Probably too early for something like that. I better continue reading and find out how this love triangle develops!