Dear Princess Celestia,
Dear Princess Celestia,
This may be part of a class assignment but Miss Cheerilee only checks the length and gives it a passing mark, they're never sent so I decided to actually send you this letter because I really do feel the need to talk to someone who might care.
My name is Chopper and I just moved to Ponyville about a month or so ago with my mom. We don't have any family here or anything, I'm not actually sure why we moved here from Trottingham. I think I heard her say it had something about a lay-off and cost of living. I don't know but it really didn't make a difference to me. I didn't really have any friends and the school bullies made sure it stayed that way. I won't bore you with any stories as I'm sure you're quite busy as it is being a princess and all.
When we got to Ponyville, things seemed to get better. Mom found a couple of odd jobs here and there, but they were at weird hours so I rarely got to see her. When I did get to see her, she seemed both really happy to see me and tired like nopony's business. Still, we would talk for what seemed like hours about stuff we had been doing. We even had an unspoken formula in place so that we at least we're able to talk every couple of days. When she got home from work at really early morning hours, I was already prepared for school and had cooked her favorite breakfast, and if it was late at night dinner was already on the table. I sort of took over the housework so she didn't need any more on her plate.
School was fine, although it was too easy. I wasn't sure if my old school was that far ahead or if I was just really smart. Either way, I got noticed rather quickly in the worst of ways possible. It wasn't too bad, but it was notable for being not good. Needless to say I haven't made any friends here either.
I suppose all of this sounds rather dull to you. I bet your days are far more exciting, but I do enjoy my life, I suppose. Well, at least I did. Everything went bad very fast.
It started two weeks ago, Mom took a job to that would keep her away for five days. That was unusual thing but she comforted me, told me not to worry. Four days pass and by suprise she comes home early. I was overjoyed beyond anything you could imagine, but she didn't look to good. She said she still wanted to catch up even though she really wasn't feeling well. We talked and I made her some soup, after which she seemed to be doing better. We both were tired so we said our goodnights' and went to bed. The thing is...I was the only one to wake up the next morning.
She died in her sleep from some unknown ailment, the doctor said she didn't suffer. A couple days later, I buried her. I say I because I was the only one at the service. When I said that we didn't have a family here in Ponyville, I meant we had no other family at all. We had each other and that's it. I don't know who my dad is but considering not even he was at the service, I doubt he cares.
I'm all alone now. It's a hard feeling to describe. Knowing that the one you love the most you'll never see again. Never see them smile at your terrible jokes, never hear them sing to you when you're scared, never to feel their bearhugs to cheer you up. I'm not sure if you know what I mean, but I honestly hope you don't. This feeling...it hurts. It's pain in my heart that won't go away and I don't know what to do. This isn't a feeling I'd wish upon my worst enemy, let alone the ruler of Equestria.
I don't know if anyone else here knows what happened. I haven't said anything but everypony seems to not get anywhere near me, even the bullies are apparently giving me a break, which is nice I guess.
Mom paid the rent for the apartment for this month, so I can stay here for now. Ponyville doesn't have an orphanage and neither does Trottingham if my memory serves me right. Are there even orphanages in Equestria? I don't know, now I'm just rambling and wasting your time. To be honest, I'm not really sure why I wrote you this letter. Maybe it's because I needed someone to talk to, like I used to do with Mom. You dont need to respond or anything, but thanks for listening.
Sincerely Your Loyal Subject,
Chopper
~~~
Celestia stared at the letter currently held in her magical grasp for what seemed like ages. Her eyes remained glued to paper as she read and reread it. There was a pain...a sadness welling up in her chest and yet she continued to read. She stopped reading as a wet sensation trickled down her cheek. She touched a hoof to her face, she was crying. Celestia's mind became a battleground of emotions fighting for dominance. In the end, sadness won and she began to weep.
The letter was now soaked in the princess' tears as it rested on the bed and she rested on it. Celestia turned over onto her back, tears now slowing, and thought about why the letter had brought out the emotions it did. She knew the answer right off the bat. She had experinced those feelings once before. On the day her sister turned against her, the day Nightmare Moon arrived. Celestia shuddered as the memory of here sister's terrible transformation flashed before her eyes. She had felt that loss, she carried the actions of that day for a thousand years, but she had something this colt didn't. Hope to see her beloved sister again someday.
Her tears began to flow freely once more. She rolled back over and over-top the now soaked, but still legible, letter. Now, determination in eyes, she set to work. Her horn glowed it's golden glow as a fresh scroll, a jar of ink, and a quill floated over to her bedside. Now she only had to figure one final thing, how to respond.
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This was a well written story, I really enjoyed it.
There are a few spelling errors however but they are few and far between.
Sincerely
Silverstain
I think I want to cry
My only real complaint is the language in the letter, honestly it sounds like an adult wrote it and not a foal. But other than that this is well done, and yes I would like to see more
3959003
Thanks
3959030
Sorry
3959046
Thanks. In the story, I put in the part where he said he wasn't sure if his old school was far ahead or if he was just that smart. He's highly intelligent for his age which is why he can process his loneliness to such a level. While his mother was gone, he had plenty of time to read. Thanks again for reading. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
3962427
Still... then again he is trying to be all formal for the princess...
Dude write more and this story was fuckin awsome!!
PLEASE WRITE MORE!!!!!!! I want to read more
mooooooooooooooore i need moooooore
4412434
It'll tie everything up that the only way to continue it would be to make a whole legit fic out of it
Though I've kinda lost the will to write but I am trying.
I'm working on and epilouge
Interesting concept. However, the story felt rather choppy and the sentences dodn't flow together very well. I would advise you to make it work together better.
4572618
Thanks! Do you have any idea how I might do that?
4572627 Since this isn't a grammatical or spelling issue, I would essentially have to rewrite most of this. What I would do is try to fix run-on and fragment sentences, give it less of a telling and more of a showing feel, that type of thing.
4572642
I'll try and see if I can fix the run on thing.
Well he is telling her though. He wrote her a letter telling her about his problems just to get it open
4572660 Got a point, but maybe explain what happened instead of being vague and mysterious. It left it kinda open-ended and unfinished, if you ask me.
4572671
I'm not teying to negate your points or anything. However, this is also from his point of view. He doesn't know what happened and told her everything he knew. Asfor the Celestia thing. It was open-ended in case those who read it wanted to make up their own ending in their head or if I wanted to do an epilogue, which I am
4572745 Okay then. It's your story. When do you think you'll finish the epilogue?
4572800
Well, I really appreciate your coomments and things and I was just explaining myself. Sorry if I came off as a butthole.
Not sure. You haven't any idea how many different stories I'm working on at once
. I'm trying to get it done soon though.
4572823 It's alright. Understandable.
This story was good. Really good. But how did the letter get mailed to her in the first place? (An epilogue tying up ends couldn't hurt either.)
Also I think 'carry' should be 'carried'
4573164
. Actually, thanks to your comment, it gave me a great idea for the epilogue
Thanks for the comment and for catching that
Dem feels.......
4623282
If I do my job right
The epilogue is coming and will give even MORE feels
4623306
4624160
It's currently sitting pretty at 1444 words and it's only 60% done
4624166 It'll be awesome.
4624225
Hope to finish it and get it out within the week but that may or may not happen. Even when it's done I still have to edit it
We'll see
I actually quite like this. The format is something different, at least to me, and I think the sad tone is pulled off well, especially connecting the subject to Celestia's background.
I did notice one possible error (I suppose it may be intentional), "Still, we would talk for what seemed like hours we stuff we had been doing." - seems like an "about" is missing in there, to me in place of the second to last "we" would make sense.
4944010
. I'll go change it.
Thanks, glad you liked it. And thanks for catching that mistake
*describe
5043889
Thanks
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I need an editor
61 weeks and 3 days ago you stated “The epilogue is coming and will give even MORE feels If I do my job right“ wha. happened
6390837
Lots of things. Moved house, lost internet, and been trying to get back on track. But I tell you what. I can PM the first section of the epilogue. I'm way further along than just the bit I'll send but since you cared enough to come back and liked the story enough ask what happened so it's the least I can do. Unless you don't want to see it which is cool too.