1 Roast
The following was written on an iPhone.
Scootaloo screamed loudly as she slammed the door to her little shack where she resided, and started to break random stuff (which she had found in trash bins or stolen from ponies who actually have a life) in blind fury.
"Why the fuck does everyone call me a chicken all the fucking time?!" She yelled while accidentally breaking her scooter which she had stolen from somepony who actually knew how to use it without sucking really hard like Scootaloo did.
"My... My scooter... No!" Panicked, she tried to fix it, but with no luck. Since, you know, she sucks at everything she do.
Upon realizing she sucked too hard to fix her beloved tool of transportation, she cried. And cried. AND CRIED! Until she finally dozed off from exhaustion.
New day. Shit.
Scootaloo wakes up, realizing that she's hugging the remains of her ex-scooter. She wanted to cry, but was too dehydrated to produce any more tears.
She dug around in the remains of the rubble that was the result of yesterday's mayhem, looking for her leg watch that she had stolen from some poor clock shop's owner.
"Fuck! I'm late for the Discord damned school!"
She kicked up her shack door. It fell off from from the hinges, laying flat on the ground. "FfffffffffUCK!!!" She would have to leave it for later. She might get put in the cage at school again if she's too late.
And of course, she just now remembered that her scooter was busted, so she had to gallop, and would therefore, be late. "*Le sigh* Here I come, cage!"
While at school, she was indeed caged. Cheerilee is such a good teacher. She had brought eggs for all of the pupils to throw at Scoot, so everypony had a great time.
When school was done, they threw some more eggs at her because the earlier ones had dried in her coat. When she was sticky again, they covered her in feathers, kicked her out, and chased her with pitchforks.
...
Scootaloo managed to get away from them at last. Beaten and scarred, she hurried into her shack, and placed the door in the opening.
They had even stuck Elizabeak to her, calling her a lesbian for "sticking around females of her own kind" or something.
"..."
"NO! If Fluttershy can be a tree.." (She looked through the window to check if the yellow and pink tree was still there) "then I can be a chicken!"
She then stood up on a stolen table that had survived her screwupness.
"I'll show them! I'll show them all!
She then threw a hoof in the air in victory.
What she didn't realize/remember, was that she had an active bug zapper hanging from the roof, which her hoof drove straight into.
She was getting fried, and the room filled with a nice smell of Fillydelphia fried chicken.
After about ten seconds of Scootaloo and Elizabeak spasming from the electrical shock, she finally let go. Now, another thing she had forgotten, was the tub of radioactive waste that was in a corner near the table she was standing on.
*Sploosh!* And they both fell into the green, glowing muck.
The chickens were both struggling to get out, but the goo was slowly dragging them down while corroding them.
?
\("OvO")/
¥¥
Another day. Fuck!
Chickenloo woke up on the floor. Apparently, she had managed to get out of the tub during the night somehow.
She checked the time. It was still early. She was gonna say something to her self in the likes of "Yay. No cage for meee! :)" but a kluck was heard instead.
She had to practice some times to get her voice right. She then found a mirror to see herself in.
The horror that was Chickenloo, or Scootacen if you like, was presented in the mirror for said Chicken.
"Kluck! I'm a chicken!" She put her feathered front legs on her back while walking upright, but slouching, looking for where Elizabeak could be.
After a brief search and another look in the mirror, she came to the conclusion that Elizabeak had been fused with her. She stopped at the mirror to investigate herself further.
Her coat had turned into a grayish/moss green color and was glistening from the wetness of her smelling sweat which also was luminescent in purple. Her muzzle had been shaped beakishly and hardened, giving her a happy psycho-look. Her eyes had shrunk, but her eye sockets had become bigger. Her irises had turned purple and the pupils were green. The purple mane had turned into a spiky and flat mohawk, like some demon cock. Her body was partially covered in green feathers, and her tail was replaced by some really long and hanging feathers, also green.
And then, yesterday's dinner (stolen apples from Applejack) was soon on the floor, mixing with other fluids that had come from the mutated chicken creature. And also, parts of Elizabeak was thrown up, parts that had not made it in the Chickenloo mix.
"Elizabeak! No! Oh God how much I miss you!" (She had come to bond with the chicken during the short time they'd been together.)
Sadness!
Chickenlooscootacen started to go to school, but she got there faster now, because the broken scooter apparently had managed to get fused in the freak creation as well, so she could use the wheels of it to travel faster.
And it took about exactly around 10 seconds for her to get there. Yes.
_____o____
/;/;/;/\;\;\;\
She never had to worry about the cage this time. Mostly because she wasn't late, but also that the cage already was full of students and 1 (one) teacher. (Cheerilee, you know.)
They were simply horrified, but they also found it amusing that Scootaloo had gone to such extremes with being a chicken.
So Scootaloo had to be the teacher today, and Cheerilee plus students would have to learn from her. But, as we know, Scootaloo don't know much about anything, so she gave up after about 15 minutes of trying to teach, sending her students out to recess. The cage ponies rejoiced!
=€
Life as a mutated chicken sucked! Scootalooo looked into the potato filming her and said: "I can't even fallow Rainbow Dash around anymore without her noticing due to my smell! Oh no! :("
So everypony avoided her just a slight more now then before. She was now a very sad little chicken.
Whilst crying tears that was indeed wet, she made herself a nest in Fluttertree. Fluttertree did not approve at all, but she was helpless, because she's a tree. Did you remember?
While in the nest of hers, Scottalou pooped out an egg. She ate it. Then she was sad because she never got the chance to know her little unborn child. (But at least it was delicious!) Yum!
(x) (x)
\/
When Scootaloo woke up, she had been killed. The ponies cold just not stand her anymore.
The had burned Fluttertree down to kill Chickenloo, so she was sad as well to be dead. :(
And everypony ate the gross chicken with their mouths and it was really gross.
Nyx from "Past Sins" joined them as well. She ate Scootacen's eyes and said: "Talk about candy eyes!"
But this story has no Mary Sues, so they killed and ate Nyx as well.
Littlepip from Equestria: Fallout
took Nyx's place as stolen OC, and she said that Luna should rape her with the moon, and everypony rejoiced.
[%]>~>|£]£~€]!
End of chapter one of 54!
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THAT WAS MEAN SCOOTALOO IS THE BEST FILLY WHY WOULD U TORTURE HER
Excessive Trolling is Excessive
Awesome! Can't wait for the other 53 chapters! Excuse me while I go wash out my eyes with bleach.
Seriously though, this was an interesting troll-fic.
352328
I agree.
While highly stupid, it was also oddly enjoyable for a trollfic. I can't bring myself to vote it up. So, I'll just sneak away slowly.
this is mediocre
I love scootaloo personally but I do like reading about ponies going though hard times.
REMEMBER, KIDS:
THERE'S NO EXCUSE
FOR SCOOTABUSE!
352465
There is, it's funny.
Good day.
Yay. I'm glad that people read it and commented, considering the.... Seriousness of the story. :P I'll reply to each of you when I get home from work. (Currently on the phone I wrote this piece of
crap on.)
352285 I do say.
352287 Now that's a mind fuck I can appreciate.
352305 I really hope for your sake that you're trolling right now. An no, Sweetie Belle is best filly.
352319 Meh. That's part of the charm.
352328 Dat ending... I seriously had no idea where I wanted to go with it when I started on it a few days ago. Everything typed down was thought of the second before. It's hard to determine how much troll level you want to use, and just how random it should be. I could have it be REALLY random.
352359 The number of down thumbs is amusing for me. :P (Are they people who got offended, or just thought it was a bad fic? Even though it's tagged as Random.) I can't really see how anyone with half a brain would actually get offended.
352409 I didn't know you could rate a random fic without direction. Most of the responses I've gotten was "WTF?!" And I think that's a fair and valid rating.
352437 Liek if ju cri evry tiem!!!
352551 Hey, that rhymes! And the world cannot get enough Scootabuse.
352659 Now this man gets it!
353430 Woobs. Sent that to the wrong dude. Disregard!
This was terrible but I still actually thought this was kinda funny for some reason cuz I like stupid random humor. I think its pretty cool that scootaloo had a big tub of radioactive waste in her shack! I wish I had one those so i could turn into anything i want. In all honesty though, really bad story though u suck lol jk
Errrrrrrr...
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwiw6xyhOO1qf7a78.gif
I was never here.
353428 What if I laugh at her misery every time?
354940 Thanks for the critique. Even though this is random crap, I wanna know what people think of it as an experience.
.354949 You should use the one where Fluttershy jumps into the brush. :P (Topical, but maybe not as suitable.)
353400 hahahaha scootaloo is the best she likes action sweeetie belle gets in trouble alot
I need the BRAIN BLEACH now
355969 I moustache you a
360472 what
356801 Is that a suggestion for another grimdark fic? :D
360476 Are you trying to look stupid, or are you genuinely?
no im not freak
360493 You forgot the "a" there.
i dont care
360483
Little of Column A and a little from B
if that makes any sense
[youtube=6VBIe0R2e-A]
483806 This man gets it!
504881
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/011/296/success_baby.jpg
Sorry but i had to give this a thumbs up for randomness.
Why is this fanfiction rated so poorly? I actually find the stupidity of it funny.
You suck
Fellow bedmate
Thumbs up from me
Fuck Fluttertree