Lipogram
Lipogram
...A Story With a Lack of E! (No! Don't say it!)
By NarwhalUnicorn
---
A sunlit bistro surrounds Raindrop, a pony who sits in front of a warm cappuccino, which was an award for assisting a pal with his daily work out. Raindrop blissfully gulps down said gratuitous gift, which Raindrop had warmly said prior, "This isn't obligatory, Starburst."
"You must obtain this drink; it is only what I find worthy of you, following your civil and cordial aid throughout today's path of my physical training. I insist." A stallion with a gold coat had said.
"If you insist, Star, but I must say, it was my satisfaction that I had today as I was supporting your training. I will, though, graciously allow you to gift yours truly with such a high-quality drink. Thank you." Raindrop had said.
Now, Raindrop and Starburst play a part in fun, but light, chatting. This chatting is sporadically split copiously as a contact of Raindrop's finds it socially up to standard to cut short Raindrop and Starburst's discussion with his own opinions and annoying information. Raindrop and Starburst, not happy with that pony, quit brunching and walk away from Town Plaza. Raindrop, whilst complaining about that folk's annoying outbursts thoroughly, spots an amiably happy pony Raindrop knows much about and talks with habitually.
"Hi, Raindrop!" shouts said pony, flapping his wings and soaring towards his gracious buddy with joy. His light gray, almost baby cyan, hair is in a fashionably stylish mohawk, and his dark gray wings stop flying as his body slowly drifts towards ground.
"How do you do? Do you want to hang out with us today?" asks an additional pony who follows his companion's actions.
"Hi, Thundy. I am doing satisfactorily on this brilliant morning, Milky Way." Raindrop says to a pony with a pallid coat and curly dark hair.
"Would you find it amusing to go bowling right around now? Milky and I own an auxiliary pass and nopony to grant it to. If you may own an opportunity to go to this occasion, us stallions would amiably allow you to charm us with your company." Thundy says.
"I do own an opportunity to accompany you two today to a bowling match. Thus, would you two follow yours truly to my cloud habitat so I can pick up my bowling ball and sports clothing? I would notably worship you if you did said favor." Raindrop says.
Sounds of flapping wings and Raindrop's wind trails signify Thundy and Milky Way to follow Raindrop to a cloud habitat that is not in far proximity from Town Plaza. Starburst awaits invitation, only to find no such award.
Upon landing on a cloud road, Raindrop quickly sprints indoors and swiftly absconds with a bowling ball and sports shirt.
"Now, shall I bowl with you two kind stallions?" asks Raindrop, pointing towards a bowling building just blocks away.
"You shall," says Milky Way. As his companions fly towards said bowling building, Milky follows suit, right along with Thundy, his rival, and Raindrop, his award.
Raindrop, Milky Way, and Thundy soon join a mass of bowling aficionados at Bowly's Bowling Building, and start a match in that grand art of bowling.
---
From a bar stand in a background sits two odious girls, staring through binoculars at Raindrop with suspicion and disgust. Flitt' and Cloud' had lost curiosity and fun in bowling, so opportunity struck for spying on Raindrop.
"Why, and how, can Raindrop woo all stallions in this quaint town? Raindrop allows no stallion nor colt for what is still a part of us amazingly stunning girls! Us girls must gain a unity and form an annihilation of Raindrop, a lady who ruins our odds in obtaining a chap to adoringly think about us!" shouts Cloud, a poor lady, in horror.
"I concur, us girls must do away with Raindrop!" roars Flitt', an additional lady.
And so, by compulsory and disgust, that pair plans to ruin and triumph past Raindrop without any pity, nor compassion. If a vigor pony asks why must such a plan must subsist, that pair of twins plan to rationally allow that thought with a simply valid justification, "It is, obviously, survival of that who can subsist as vicious."
---
"This was an amazing match, Raindrop!" Thundy honors.
"Oh, why thank you, Thundy. I am a good rival in bowling, no?" Raindrop says.
"Good? Is good a word suitably satisfactory to classify Raindrop's skill? No way, no how! Raindrop is an outstanding rival, I must say so. To think of you as 'good' is an awfully harmful amplification! I insist your skill is astounding!" Milky Way smooth talks.
"Thank you both, I insist it is of warm convivial for all this worship to yours truly. Thank you a lot." Raindrop says with a bow.
A loud boom drifts through Bowly's Bowling Building, and a wall forms a small gap, just in virtual vicinity of Raindrop. Raindrop shouts in horror and runs away, but it is to no avail, for a cannon shoots two balls, and liquid, known as H2O, soaks Raindrop from hoof to hair.
Two grinning shadows walk into Bowly's Bowling Building with intimidating H2O cannons.
"Cloud' and I hunt for two stallions that accompany you today. Allow us custody of your stallions, Raindrop, or you will go through many H2O attacks. It is your pick." Flitt' says with antagonism.
"No." Raindrop daringly shouts.
"Oh, you want to go about this in a hard way, no? If you insist..." says Cloud with hostility and an odious look of sin.
"ATTACK!!!" shouts both Flitt' and Cloud in unison as H2O balloons launch into air towards Raindrop, Thundy, and Milky Way. Cloud's big array of cannons (mostly Toys 'R Us products) blast many H2O cannonballs with much vigor.
"Uh oh..." Raindrop says, gulping in horror.
Now what would a gallant group of pals do in a situation similar to this?
"RUN!!!"
e
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Amazing
Damn, this must have been hard to do....
He checks out, guys. Totes legit. Nice job.
Ah, a companion in this art. How happy I am! I tip my hat off to you, for I know what hardships laid in wait for you in writing this.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/91323/a-most-unusual-charm
I'm a lazy bastard who's putting this on his read later list, but upvoted for now just cause these are fucking hard as fuck to do and apparently you did it.
3757646 I would 'shame on you!' but I can't because I would then be hypocritical
It's been almost two years since I've seen a story like this here. If you're curious:
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/15025/lipogram
The difference is he didn't use nicknames.
Very impressive.
3757684 The thing is, I wanted those characters, but they JUST HAD TO HAVE AN E IN THEIR NAMES!!!
(Just kidding I would never actually get mad at Flitter or Cloudchaser, they're too awesome)
Bravo, good sir. An upward thumb is yours, for truly this task must... ummm...
have requirdeservebe recognized...
You did good, kid.
3757730 images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/30200000/Taylor-Swift-Laughing-Gif-taylor-swift-30258989-500-245.gif
That, good sir, allows yours truly to laugh. (Oh no, I think I'm stuck on using no
'E's!)This is fucking cool, good sir. You deserve applause.
Yeah, you succeeded in writing a story without the letter "E", which was difficult in its own right, but it was extremely difficult to read this. The closest thing I could compare this to would be if there was a Korean knock off of My Little Pony: FIM and the guys doing the "Engrish" subtitles suddenly had a keyboard breakdown and no store was open at 2AM and it was their deadline day, they'd somehow get something like this fic. If you thought reading Lovecraft was hard, then give this story a try, you'll be begging the use of big words, long drawn out sentences and pretentious dialogue.
3757843 Yeah, I know it's pretty lame writing, but with the handicap I had, I'm surprised I even managed to actually finish it, regardless of quality. In normal work, I wouldn't use...
Thanks for the insight
(I think I'm just going to go throw up from a lack of vitamin 'E')
Fimfiction Hard Mode Activate! Now write a five thousand word story without the letter 'E' and without repeating any word more than five times!
3757881 gallery.mailchimp.com/ca6ae38471d227b05e07a47e9/images/NO.jpg
3757888 What was that you said? Challenge accepted? Good to hear it!
I'm giving this a thumbs up simply as it is worthy of such for having that much audacity for not having E in it at all.
And after trying to write without using E in the above sentence, I know from experience that you sir, are a genius.
3757903 NOOOOO!!!!!!!
3757909 In true fashion of Murphy's Law: Timed mode engaged.
3757942 ...
3757947 Do tell.
fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/116/e/c/chrysalis___a_drink_with_the_devil_by_kooner01-d4xmpkf.png
3757967 This alone took me over 3 hours to create, and I made a vow NEVER TO DO THIS AGAIN!!!
It's for my own greater good. XD
3757977 Bah! You can do better! Now type everything in reverse and in iambic pentameter in under 90 minutes!
3757999 I HAVE A DARK PAST WITH IAMBIC PENTAMETER AND REFUSE TO EVEN LOOK AT IT!
... let alone sonnets :
Now please allow me to wallow in.... WHATEVER IT IS PONIES ARE SUPPOSED TO WALLOW IN!!!
Oh look at me, I don't even know what I'm supposed to wallow in!!!
I used to hate experimental short fiction, but this story has shown me how amazing it can truly be.
Excellent example entailing excluding E!
3758103 You mocked me!
(That was a funny
commentremarkstatement... utteranceretort..I GIVE UP!
yeah, you're hilarious. And I'm suffering from a lack of vitamin E
Good job, dude. You've got a ways to go to beat Gadsby, but it's a start!
3758154
I am positive Gadsby is the work of witchcraft
3758178
Actually, the work of a thesaurus and tying down the "E" on a typewriter.
3758191 I am all too aware of that. XD
3758196
Yeah... not so easy to do with a keyboard! DX
3758203 I'm never letting go of you again, E!
(I feel as if I just got back together with an ex after writing this)
3758009 I think it's either mud or endless shame. Take your pick
3758236 this. images.wikia.com/mlp/images/9/9d/Rarity_mud_S02E05.png
NarwhalUnicorn...is a good work...guy...
I sure hope somepony gets that reference.
3758246 I shamefully don't!
...and would also like to clarify that my gender is, indeed, female
3758252
Whoops, sorry!
It's from a Simpsons episode.
Mr. Burns: All right, let's make this sporting, Leonard. If you can tell me why I shouldn't fire you without using the letter "e," you can keep your job.
Lenny: Uh, okay. I'm a good... work... guy...
Mr. Burns: You're fired.
Lenny: But I didn't say it.
Mr. Burns: You will.
[He pulls a lever, dropping Lenny down a trapdoor]
Lenny: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
3758268 hilarity... so... much... of it!
I really enjoy how challenging this must have been for you to write. Substituting H2O for water was a very smart move.
You know, this does seem like a good kind of fanfic to write for a beginning author. It forces him/her to learn alternatives to conventional language choices, which could lead to more interesting writing practices.
I'm extremely impressed. The most commonly used letter in the English language and you managed not to use it.
You have earned every goddamn mustache that has ever existed and will come to exist.
3758522 I'm honored.
Truly, this story had an odd syntax but was still a fascinating show. Also, this quip in totality was hard to do.
3758522
He can't have mustaches they have an e...
Not saying a specific letter in this manner makes people sound like assholes.
If I had to pick a singular word to sum up this story, I would say: bodacious. This work of fiction was simply brilliant, and was built with high amounts of skill, this much is obvious. Bravo, fair author, for your work is grand without doubt.
An impressive feat but it forced the dialogue to be very stilted and weird. Still kudos
Losing the most commonly used letter somehow made everyone sound like jerks and smart-asses. You should be proud.