My Name is Anon
One day Twilight Sparkle was walking around in her tree house when suddenly a giant wormhole opened before her!
“Oh my sweet sexy Celestia!” Twilight yelled in shock, staring in awe at the worm hole. Seconds later (she timed it) a hairless ape exited the wormhole! But it was no ordinary hairless ape, he was a incredibly sexy hairless ape, which caused desire to flow through her body!
“Oh my god, where am I?” he asked himself in a sexy deep voice, filled with testosterone and vigor. He was truly a god in human flesh!
“Hello, strange monkey!” Twilight Sparkle waved, wishing to bed this handsome hunk of a man.
“Oh mah gerd! Talking pony!” the man screamed in a sexy manner befitting a human that was randomly (and lazily) teleported to Equestria.
“No! Do not be afraid!” Twilight begged, wishing nothing more than to tie him up in her bed.
“Okay!” the human stopped screaming, and flashed his pecs. “Allow me to tour your wonderful world, with my sexy abs!” he demanded as she flashed his abs as well. It was a six pack, and showed that he exercised regularly! He totally didn’t live in his mom’s basement, doing nothing productive with his life like a lazy, no good slacker!
“Okay!” Twilight said, holding herself back from leaping into the humans well toned arms and taking him right there. “Oh my Celestia, that random human I just met and have had no emotional connection with is so sexy, and I am in love instantly!”
And with that, the human walked outside of the library, doing his best not to make all the mares fall in love with him. However, because of his incredibe sex appeal he failed and every mare wanted to have sex with him. Even Cadance, who was happily married to what’s his face.
“My name’s Shining Armor!”
Nobody cares!
“Now I must seek random justice and talk down to a character I hate!” the human said, who shall now be named Anon, which is short for anonymous! Yes, that is totally a clever name idea, and no one has ever thought of using that name!
As he walked throughout Ponyville, he ran into the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who were being picked on by Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon!
“Like, you fillies are, like, totally lame!” Diamond Tiara said as she shook her underage sexy flank.
“Yeah!” Silver Spoon agreed, nodding her head! But the thing is she didn’t like Diamond Tiara, because Silver Spoon is clearly better than Diamond Tiara! Like that one time she clapped for Granny Smith, and that clearly shows she hates Diamond Tiara and only follows her because she fears her for no explained reason.
“Diamond Tiara, why do ya’ll always pick on us?” Apple Bloom asked, tears streaking down her eyes.
“Because I am clearly evil, and I clearly hate everything that is good!” Diamond Tiara yelled with a growl. And that is true, Diamond Tiara is clearly the most evil being in all the universe!
“I’ve heard enough!” Anon with his totally original name shouted out in anger. “How dare you commit the heinous crime of calling these young fillies lame! That is horrible, and you deserve nothing but death for it!” Because as we all know, bullies are worse than Discord, Chrysalis, and Sombra combined! Enslaving a entire race? Ha! Calling other fillies blank flanks is far worse and deserve more hatred!
“...Are we seriously going to be a part of this?” Diamond Tiara sighed as she looked at Silver Spoon and the CMC. “Seriously, this is just getting stupid.”
“W-what?” Anon asked, unable to believe his perfect ears.
“Ah agree,” Apple Bloom said with a nod, glaring at Anon. “One, this entire time you’ve been referencing yourself to be something special, when yer not. Heck, ah’m pretty sure you live in yer mothers basement!” Apple Bloom said, causing Anon to wince.
“Two, you’re threatening deadly violence against a little filly. A. LITTLE. FILLY!” Scootaloo shouted, picking up her scooter with deadly intent. “Seriously, what’s your problem you sick freak?!”
“If the first thing you do in Equestria is kill a filly for minor bullying,” Diamond Tiara began as she pounded one hoof into the other, “then you REALLY need to get your priorities straight!” With all three of them smiling sadistically at him, the three cornered Anon, ready to pounce.
“Wait!” Sweetie Belle cried, standing in front of anon protectively. She was most likely taken in by his glorious abs!
“What is is, Sweetie Belle?” Apple Bloom asked, glaring at her friend who was standing between her and ultimate evil.
“Ha! Clearly Sweetie Belle recognizes my importance!” Anon shouted victoriously in a sexy manner.
“Actually, I just wanted a line,” Sweetie Belle said as she turned around with a bat covered in nails. “And now that I’ve spoken, time to KILL YOU!”
And with that Anon was brutally beaten by the CMC and Diamond Tiara. Silver Spoon just hanged back and laughed at the misfortune of an idiot who dared threaten Diamond Tiara, the absolute best pony in the entire show.
After the horrific beating Anon took, he died because of lame character development and overused plot elements. Now that he is gone, Diamond Tiara decided that there was only one thing left to do.
“Now that that’s taken care of,” Diamond Tiara said as she wrapped a hoof around Apple Bloom’s neck. “How about you and me have hot, depraved sex right here and now?”
“Diamond Tiara, aren’t we an overused pairing?” Apple Bloom asked, glaring at her arch nemesis.
“Does that mean you don’t want hot, depraved sex?” Diamond Tiara asked, waiting for a reply. Apple Bloom continued glaring at her for a few minutes, before a large grin formed on her face.
“...AH CHOOSE TOP POSITION!” Apple Bloom shouted out as she jumped on top of Diamond Tiara. And in front of the entire town they had hot, depraved sex. And oh my god, was it depraved.
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HEALLO! MAH NAHNE AS SANIC HEGEHOG! AH LAHK YUR STARHY! UAPVOHTE!
What the buck
......"Flashed his pecs. "
I really hate these types if stories, this was poorly written, rusted, sex thrills for no reason, well I don't read clop so maybe that's just how it works, anyways it had no story to the character, he just come from a wormhole and he just happens to be a Mary Sue and it's just! I don't like it... I'm sorry, guessing your new, if you read my human stories, I put 3 k words to just explain the beginning and such, anyways. Don't let hater bring you down (that's me) and continue but please just find someone to help you out okay?
An uninspired lampoon of uninspired cliche stories.
This was not funny in the slightest
Woah there sir... Umm are you actually planning to keep this going.... And if you call this a serious story then I won't help you...
If you're doing this as some kind of trollfic... Then be my guest... I sometimes enjoy random, comedic stories....
My suggestion is to think of what you're doing and decide what you are going to do with this before it gets your feelings hurt...
I can say that this story seems like a random, comical and somewhat clop...
They usually do well when they are intended as so...
3746495 ok... I see... At least say that in your story description or something...
Successful fics like the one you're writing are successful because they are random and haves lots of comedy in it ... Plus like i said its intentional for them to write like this and get the likes because the reader knows not to take it seriously
3746531
Huh, could have sworn I was the writer and not DarkenShadeOC...
3746282
3745938
My goal was to make this as bad as the average HiE fic, and I think I succeeded.
3750300 oops... Lol and ok ... I understand... Just trying to figure out if that was your intention
3750300
yeah, later on I realized you were trolling or something, but... I wouldn't do this, just seems like your bringing hate to yourself
3751511
And that's why I made this account. Don't wanna ruin my rep on my main account.
3751520
ohhhhhhhhhhhhh.......... IT ALL MAKE SENSE NOW!
>protagonist's name is "anon"
Automatic dislike. Not even going to read.
3752013
Really? It isn't the terrible summary? The overused idea that's been seen literally thousands of times? Or from the summary, word count and it being marked as "complete" subtly tell you it's a troll fic? No, it's the fact his name is Anon. THAT is the reason you dislike...
This fanfic is incredibly stupid, and it breaks my heart I found someone who surpasses it in that aspect.
3754184
Oh, I'm aware it's shit.
The "Anon" part made me dislike and move on.
The fuck did I just read?
as a piss-take its pretty damn good, as a fic, It is freaking horrible. good thing it is a piss-take
3746531
Yes i also agree but there is also a line between random funny and just plain out stupid
3762368
Coming from the guy that doesn't know how that saying goes, that hurts.
3764886
Dude i can right a way better fan fiction then you honesty, if you actually
had a thought process then you would know that i wasn't trying to use an expression. BTW you story sucked can you take it down really just a waste of time.
3766901
? Seeing as how you continue to reply, you clearly have no life, seeing as how that's the only explanation why you would knowingly waste your time.
If it's such a waste of time then why are you here
I have a life the reason why i reply because no one else can put you in your spot, i am sure mainly People would love to say how bad your sto- never mind story this is just piece of shit you pulled out of your ass. look at all the dislikes you have no one likes your shit at all. And if you still think i don't have a life, i only reply back when i am done with work ( in my free time). In case your mind couldn't comprehend that.
3775753
Hate to say it, but you're still wasting your free time. You could be out playing a game of baseball, watching a tv show, writing a MLP fanfic. Instead, you're here arguing with a guy about a shitty story. Most ppl with common sense would have walked away by now, but not you. Instead you opt to tell someone something they already know: That there story sucks. Did you really think this was supposed to be a masterpiece? This was meant to upset ppl, to get a rise out of someone, that's why it's a trollfic. And from your reaction it's clear I succeeded.
3756819
A piece of shit
3783046 true story
3780095
Someone with common sense would think this story had any outline to it and it wasent trolling if the other person felt trolled in which i don't in fact u helped me improved my writing and also gave me more detail of how you live as person, but i wont go into details. thank you for showing me what not to do it really helped. no really!
3783053
lol the best.... worst shit i ever seen. My bad read!
3783065
Your welcome!
FUCKIN' SAWX!
QUESTION : WHERE IS THE FREKING RANDOM TAG ?
and for the
PS : This is my reaction at the end
well
PPS : for the laught : well : have a cookie + a like
https://www.google.fr/imgres?imgurl=https://www.hamptoncreek.com/img/p-just-cookies/panel-cookie-choc-cookie.png&imgrefurl=https://www.hamptoncreek.com/just-cookies&h=1347&w=1372&tbnid=TZdGY0CeQgsIYM:&docid=4o-KekgfZ9FGOM&ei=xo7MVqzdOse1a4DfisgJ&tbm=isch&client=tablet-android-samsung&ved=0ahUKEwis2O3srI7LAhXH2hoKHYCvApkQMwglKAIwAg
Hmm, the taste of this story is a bit off...
Oh I know!
{Whispers} Sonic crossover
It need more salt.