I'm not a psychopath, I'm a highly functioning sociopath. Do your research.
A magic trick gone wrong. A pile of debris. And Starswirl the bearded between them both. None expected him to survive, but he seems to have pulled out a miracle. But what if that miracle was at a cost? One that will cost Starswirl much more then he ever imagined... It's like he's...
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There are quite a few grammatical errors. Your syntax also needs a good deal of work as well. There was also some redundancy in your descriptions. It's an interesting concept though.
3862677 Alright, sweet! An thank you very much. I honestly was waiting for least some form of critique. So thanks a million, really. I am trying to fix mistakes, an well trying to improve with the 2nd chapter, though I think the grammatical and syntax part is gonna be harder to fix, since English isn't my main language. Still, gonna try my best to improve it, and well thank you again ^^
3863685 You should get a beta reader whose first language is English, or are at least very proficient with it, then. They can help you find many mistakes that you may glance over because it sounds right to you, because you know what you're trying to say.
Also, you need to advertise yourself. Your story has been up for almost a month and you have gotten so few views/ratings/comments. Look for any groups that your story would fit in and put in there, so long as the moderators don't mind of course. There is even a group dedicated to 'shameless self-promotion'. If you have trouble being seen, don't feel bad. You just need to know how to work the system.
3864964 That's kinda the hard part, finding a beta reader, I don't wanna bother them too much, or use their time with it. So, that's kinda an issue, and I pretty much have to go on a limb and shoot in the dark when I'm doing the spell checking myself.
Mmmm...I guess that would work, I was planning on looking around, and see if there were any groups where my story would fit, since that seems to be the best course of action. Gonna try and do that, after I'm done with the 2nd chapter.
3865272 Don't worry about bothering them. If you take your time, look for mistakes before sending it to them, listen to their suggestions (suggestions, as in you don't have to listen but they might help your story), and are appreciative of the time and effort they put in to help you make your story better, then they won't be wasting their time.