Explanation? (usless filler crap)
"Come on spike!"Twilight said pushing a large machine
"Why do we have to be here and two in the morning?" spike asked in the distance caring large stacks of parchment and other office supplies
"Its right here!" Twilight said looking at the cross on the road where she had been earlier
"What's right here? There isn't anything but a bush" Spike said looking around " A very comfortable looking bush."
"Something Pinkie called a 'fourth wall'." Twilight said setting up her machine
"A fourth what?" Spike said setting down his things
"a fourth wall Spike" She said finishing setting up her machine
"Whats that?" Spike asked
"that is what we are here to find out" Twilight responded looking for a place to begin
"How will we do that?" Spike said rubbing his tired eyes
"Well... Pinkie ran into something in the air like it was solid. So maybe if I were to run into it. It'll break again!" Twilight said galloping down the road with her teeth clenched awaiting a crash
"Twilight I think you've officially gone crazy." Spike said as he lay on the bush
"Think what you will Spike but I have got to be onto something" She said as she galloped past Spike and her equipment again
"What are you trying to accomplish?" Spike said as he stretched in his plant bed
"I just said I'm trying to break the fourth wall! Listen!" she shouted but was followed by snoring from the purple dragon
"What ever I'll do this myself" She said returning to attempt to run into the wall again
She tried this many times and failed every single time. As the sun arose Twilight looked around.
"Why won't it work?" She said slowly packing up her things and waking Spike
"Huh? Did you find it yet?" He yawned
"No. No 'I' didn't. I just. I just don't get it" Twilight said as she levitated the purple dragon onto her back
"Well don't worry about it. I mean this is Pinkie Pie we are talking about. She has got to be either the most powerfull being known to pony kind or she is just tricking you guys somehow." He yawned again
"Tricking. Heh. Yeah tricking us. How else would she have pulled that off. maybe she got some other unicorn to help her with that wall thing." Twilight said unsure
"Yeah Pinkie is great at pranks, and she knows every pony, like, everywhere"
"Yeah, I always get myself worked up for nothing!" Twilight said
"Were you Two up all night trying to get that wall to appear?" Pinkie said giggling as she walked up to the two
"Just me..." Twilight said exhaustedly
"Didn't I tell you not to worry!" Pinkie said giggling even louder
"Yeah. But I was just... I just really wanted to know what that was." Twilight said looking at the area where the hole had been the day before
"I don't even know! But they're fun!" She said still giggling
"So how do you know how to get rid of them?" Twilight asked putting a hoof to her face
"Oh that one was easy! The first time it happened I just sprayed some paint on it! Good as new!" Pinkie told her pulling out the can
"How'd you figure that?" Twilight asked
"Well when you put a hole in the wall you paint it right?" Pinkie asked her
"Well yeah. I guess you do!" Twilight even more confused
"Come on lets go get some breakfast!" She said hopping back to Ponyville
"I have to put my things back in my lab first" Twilight said turning around to find nothing there
"Already done!" Pinkie said still bouncing in the direction
"Wait. How?" Twilight asked turning around
"Don't worry, remember!" Pinkie shouted in the distance
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Can't tell if trollfic or serious...
I suppose what I'm trying to say is that this needs a LOT of work.
For starters you need more descriptive language. Most of this story is just dialogue, we hardly have an idea who's talking.
Second, you need to split up the "paragraphs" a little better.
Third, you need to work on your chapter lengths. If you can't even break 1,000 words a chapter then it's really not a chapter, it's just an essay.
And finally your description needs to be a little bit more well... Descriptive. You haven't told us anything about the story from that description.
Was this suposed to be funny? I did not think this was funny. When Pinkie breking the 4th wall and frustraited Twi is in the same fic it is suposed to be funny.
I wrote this to be bad so stfu plz.
322937
Then why waste people's time?
322940 I made this up to try to get my mind off of my other fan fiction because it's getting old writting that one and I need someting to do
Heh. I at least found it somewhat amusing. I'mma go ahead and track this.
322991 this one is finished man. Check out my other one it's not finished and its in the process of being edited as I go
telling your readers to stfu.... well thats how to gain an audiance.
323001 Ok, will do. ^^ Oh well, I pretty much use my tracking list as a way to make sure I can find stuff again if I want to, so that works too...
323024 I don't care for a big audience. Just getting my fan fictions to be written so that I can say I've done something for once.
322937 What's the point in that? Aren't there enough accidentally bad fictions on this site? You feel the need to add to the pile?
323068 I'm sorry. But don't you realize the the amount of good fan fictions is estimated to be about 10% of all fan fictions from anything?
323081 I'm well aware, but you're only proving my point more. If 90% of it is all bad, why do you feel the need to add to that?
323086 I didn't really want to but I wrote this entire thing without thinking about what comes next so I guess I did.
323092 What part of your brain told you that writing something without thinking about it would produce quality?
323102 Like I said I wanted to get my brain off of my other fan fiction so I came up with this one. I didn't think of comedy. I didn't think of quality. I was just doing something so maybe it might get 1 or 2 laughs. So yes maybe I wanted to write something bad and no nothing told me it was going to produce quality.
323127 Turn your brain back on, please.
323137 Why? I am better without it!
323140 No you're not, you're embarrassing yourself.
323141 I posted this story. I got some dislikes. Look how much I care. This story is still up and I'm arguing with someone online. Embarrassment came a long time ago.
323149 Put some more value on yourself sir. Love yourself, and strive to be the best you can, and don't settle for any less. Take pride in everything you do.
323158 What?
323161 I am honestly wondering if you are purposefully trolling, or just incredibly naive. Mist has the right idea. Don't do something like this when you can most likkely do better.
323191 okay did you not read the conversation. I didn't want to make it a troll fic nor am I naive. Check out my other fan fiction if you want to see if I can do better. I made this up in 3 hours last night. I didn't want to have comedy nor did I want to have quality; I simply wrote this to get my mind of the other fan fiction.
323226 get what? I'm going to straight up say this. There was no point whatsoever in this story.
323233
well duh. thats why i got it.
323233 exactly.
This story makes absolutely no sense in anyway, but still I thought it was decent and I'd like to see more....just actually put some effort into future chapters.
323328 Thank you. That makes two people who have a sense of humor!
323329 Where's the humor in producing a story you put no effort into that has no point? What comedians are you watching?
324152 You've done your hate for today. Leave me alone. K?
324321 No one's hating? I'm just disapproving of a bad decision you've knowingly made.
Why is it that every person on this site assumes that the moment you do something and someone disapproves they suddenly hate you?
324414 You just need to understand this wasn't made for quality. This was to get my mind off of my other fan fiction.
324430 See I understand that part perfectly. I just don't understand your logic behind making a story, putting no effort into it, then submitting it to take up space on the front page, taking time away from stories people DID put effort into. I can't wrap my mind on what made you think people were just going to laugh about that and think it was a good idea.
324457 Do you see it still up on the front page?
No.
This fan fiction is done. There is no point of arguing this any more.
324465 Alright, whatever. Calm down bro.
324474 I aint mad. Its over and we are arguing something that doesn't need an argument.
324482 Alright, whatever.
haters gonna hate, ponys gonna pwn
If anypony feels like it, I have made a continuation of this. Just find it here.
Hey guys check this guys version of my story. His actually has story line.
322937
Why then am i laughing?
Maybe not the great story, but worth the laugh.
Was featured on Celestia Radio for like 10 seconds...
323202 Lol, I made my own fic in 30 minutes... In the toilet...in a public restroom...of the opposite gender.
5847518 Don't read this shit. It was terrible back then and its even worse now.
I actually hate myself for writing something this terrible, and I wish to never see it again.
The only reason why I keep it around is to show myself the progression I've made.
5847523 Uno, I tried that once. Writing crap then everytime I think of mlp it reminds me of the responses that those people say, and that's my secret on how to stop watching mlp, or at least not be so hyped about it.
5847530 Read Travis the Troll Episode 1. That one, at least, isn't quite as inept. Somewhat funny from my new perspective.
5847536 "I suck cock for bus money then I walk home." -Brimsnap this is that feeling I have about my earlier fic. Do you feel the same?
5847542 Didn't read it, mate. Sorry. It was hard to continue.