The End of Her Reign

by ChaseC

Chapter 1:Wanted

//The End of Her Reign//
//By ChaseWCanon//

Intro:

It has been several years since the fall of both Nightmare Moon and
Discord. And now, there is a new rise of evil. One none of us ever expected,
Princess Celestia. Her reign started shortly after we had vanquished Discord.
For reasons currently unknown Celestia has become, different. She has become
drunk on power and is now driving all of Equestria into the ground! We, the
elements of harmony, have defeated the once powerful evils of this land twice
before and can do it again. But it's not as simple as that.

Celestia and split us all up and many of us have fallen way from our
elements. Rainbow wants nothing to do with us, Fluttershy has become very
bitter, Apple Jack had moved too Celestia knows where, Pinkie Pie has lost all
hope and is now dull and lifeless, Rairity has secluded herself away from
everypony else in her boutique not to be disturbed, and me, I have even stopped
using magic! I barely even get out of bed anymore... Spike still takes care of me
but I feel like too much of a burden. Its now time for us to reunite and take down
the tyranny of Celestia before it gets too far out of hoof.

Chapter 1:

“Guards, seize her!” the voice said “I’ve had about enough out of you”

“NO! DON’T YOU SEE WHAT IT HAS DONE TOO YOU! YOU’VE CHANGED!
DON’T DO THIS!”

“Oh, you think ‘I’ve’ changed... That is not the case. It is you six that
have changed. I used to trust you all, but now, now I can’t even stand to look at
you. You all disgust me. I cant believe YOU, my once greatest pupil, would subside
to something as low as this. Guards take them out of here, and make sure I don’t
see them ever again.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Twilight sprung up in her bed in a cold sweat. She looked around the
room to catch her bearings. She finally realized that this was truly real life.

“Oh, good. It was only a dream.” At that moment Spike busted threw the
door and started yelling.

“ARE YOU OK? I HEARD SCREAMING”

“Calm down Spike, it was only a dream” Twilight wishes that, that could be true, but
she knows that this had happen once before. It had been only a month since that
fateful day, and yet, it was as vivid as if it had happened yesterday.

“Oh good, I thought SHE might have come back.” Spike had known what
had happened that fateful day and knew she was in hiding. Right now Celestia
thinks that she, along with all the rest of the Mane six, are dead.

“Why don’t you come downstairs? I’ll make you breakfast! How about
pancakes, your favorite. I’ll even make them in wizard shapes just like you like
them!” Spike had said gleefully trying to cheer up Twilight for he knew what she
was dreaming about.

“Ok” Twilight said “ill be down in minute, let me get ready.”

Twilight approached her mirror “I don’t know what I’d ever do without
Spike...” she thought as she brushed her mane precisely 30 times as she had
done everyday. Then she proceeded to walk down the staircase to the main room.
There in front of her was a petrified Spike holding a newspaper.

“What is it?” Twilight asked”

“...” no response.

Twilight slowly walked behind Spike, peeking over his shoulder to see
as to what he had been looking at.

“WANTED” was written in big letters on the front page of the newspaper,
“If you are to stumble upon any of these ponies in the pictures. Please contact the
authorities IMMEDIATELY. Remember, if you know something and don’t say
anything then you are just as guilty as the ones wanted.” there below the text was
6 pictures of her and her once friends. Twilight was also petrified upon seeing this
article.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Yes, Celestia” all the guards said in unison.

“NO! YOU CANT DO THIS!” Twilight screamed as she was drug across
the cold stone floor “DON’T YOU SEE WHAT SHE IS DOING! WE CAN STOP HER IF
YOU JUST LET US GO!”

“Sorry,” one of the guards said in a low sincere voice “but we can’t.”

Twilight pushed and pulled as she struggled to break free of the guards
bonds. She lowered her body then used all of her leg strength to jump forward to
escape. It worked.

“STOP HER!” Celestia demanded towards the guards.

*WHACK*

Twilight had been struck against her face with a large metal shield.

“Lights out” she had heard as she slowly drifted away from
consciousness
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Twilight snapped back to reality. But it took her a while to grasp what
had just happened.

Spike was franticly running around looking for something.

“WHERE IS IT? WHERE IS IT?” Spike asked himself nervously

“What is it that you're looking for Spike?”

“The gem rarity had given me. If we are going to have to leave then I
need to find it.”

“No, Spike I can’t let you leave,”

“Huh, but didn’t you read the newspaper? You're a wanted pony and they
obviously know where we live!”

“I know, and that’s why l’ll be leaving. You on the other hoof, will
be staying.”

“But Twilight...”

“No buts,” Twilight interrupted “ They are coming for me, not you... I
can’t let you risk your life to come with me. Its far too dangerous. I must leave and
go warn the others. We will try... NO! We WILL take down Celestia this time. And
when we do I will come back for you.

“Please don’t leave, you're all I have left”

“I have too, for the good of all of Equestria.”

“Here I packed us a satchel full of food and other things... Just let me
take a few thins out.” Spike rustled through the satchel and pulled out many
pieces of memorabilia, A picture of Spike and Rarity... Their tickets to the gala... A
photo album, and many more things.

“Thank you Spike but I must be going now. Soon the guards will be here
and i don’t want you to be with me if they find me.”

“Twilight,”

“Hmm”

“ I L-L-L-Love you.”

“I love you too Spike.”

And with that, Twilight departed the library for what felt was the last
time. Many memories where made here and soon she would be leaving the city for
what she thinks will be forever.

“Where to start” She thought to herself “I don’t even know where half of
them are anymore... I guess I’ll start the only place I can”

Rarity.

Comments

[Onyx]

I really like it so far, but (not to be a Grammar Nazi or anything) there are some mistakes I spotted like the difference between 'Your' and 'You're' or not capitalizing the character's names. Other than that, I can't wait to see where this story goes

[ChaseC]

313537
Thanks I will fix that... I didn't really check it for grammar errors.... Ill fix that. And if you do see them in the future don't be afraid to tell me. I need to get them fixed...

[Lucefudu]

Nice one! Keep deleting.

[ChaseC]

313877

I was tired of look at it... you had made up stuff that I had never said and i would like it if you just leaved me alone... Ok you dont like my story. BIG WHOOP. I dont care, obviously someone wont like it. And I havent made a story before... Its a learning experience. But you dont have to criticize every single thing I say. Also if i were really trying to get rid of you I would just block you... But I havent. Keep you comments shorter then I will keep them on here.

P.S. I liked the Rarity at the end of you comment. Made me laugh... Seriously nice effect to your sarcasm. Ill be sure to use that later on.

[leaderofstars]

heres a idea: discord corrupted the princess before he got stoned. and now she is gone full on tyrant bitch in his absence.

i see potential but need more believability between events

[ChaseC]

314048

Good little addition to the story! Lol Truthfully I just wrote this as it came to my had so there will be some plot gaps that ill try and fix. There is a good chance of this being incorporated in my story! Thanks

P.S.
Would it be bad to add this into the story later on... Explain it later when they figure out why she is acting this way themselves?

[leaderofstars]

314065

no problem man.
hmm is Luna leading the rebellion or dead in this story?

[ChaseC]

314078
I havent really added Luna into the mix yet but I think that Luna will be on the side of the mane 6. Now that you said the whole discord thing, The whole story just played out in my head... That was an AMAZING idea for this story. Ive already gotten the final chapter played out in my head. Thanks so much man!

[leaderofstars]

314099

just write it down somewhere so you won't forget it.

[ChaseC]

314103
Oh this fits so perfectly I wont forget this ever.

[TheMareinTheMoon]

Alrighty, let's get started here

Firstly, I must say that I REALLY like this concept, the idea of Celestia becoming more of a nightmare than nightmare moon has always been an interesting idea in my eyes

Unfortunately, I think there's a couple things you really need to fix before this can reach it's true potential.
Allow me to explain:

Foremostly, I think that the transitions between Twilight's dreams and reality could be done a bit smoother, I like the idea, but I had trouble differentiating reality from dream at a couple points, without detail or direct referral about it by another character.

I also think that you should ease back on the explanations a bit. Now I'm not saying that things shouldn't be explained, because they definintely should, It's just that you shouldn't do it all from the start. Readers don't like getting flooded with all this new history immidiatley upon entering the story, it makes them lose interest. Might I suggest that you explain some of the important things here, but leave others to be discussed later, via conversation, flashback, or other means, it just adds a sense of fluidity to the story.

I also think you should go into a bit more detailon these characters, their emotions and their motives. I realize this is only the first chapter and more will be explained later, but Twilight's reason's for her actions aren't very clearly defined. I feel that some lines talking through the perspective of her thoughts could help this along a bit. As well as motives for Celestia, but I'm sure we'll see more about that as the story goes on.

It's a bit of a downer, because it's obvious you know these characters pretty well, little details like Twi brushing her main EXACTLY 30 times every day (Which actually made me chuckle a little) , provide a bit of insight into these characters personalities. But i feel it needs to be backed up with some emotional insight.

Finally, there's quite a few grammatical errors here. But that can easily be fixed, in fact i'd be willing to help do so if you like it just occasionaly gets in the way of story, making it feel a bit jumbled, but that's ok, it shouldn't take too long to fix.

All in all, I see a lot of potential in this story, and I'm curious as to where it will go, and the fact that it's Chase helps a bit too, it could just use a bit of cleanup in it's execution

I'll be waiting for more!

[leaderofstars]

316659

oh no its a wall of text run!