chapter 3: Dinner with friends?
*warning* This chapter may contain various traces of Sad-tag and nuts.
With Rarity quickly taking a seat with the three unknowns, there had been no other choice than to be seated right next to Twilight and the androgynous pegasus.
Remembering her training Pleasant Dreams bowed a bit towards both Luna and Celestia, but not to Twilight as they were to be equals, before sitting down.
The eyes they burned, all but one set were staring at her. Each gaze told a different story.
The first filled with pity and concern but still gentle.
The second had been aloof, but very observant
The third was overflowing with glee, and obvious curiosity
The fifth filled with fear
The sixth were the least saying of all, but still had a hint of apprehension
The seventh was filled with confusion and ill hidden pride.
The eighth was scrutinising and was attempting to rip her apart by merely looking.
And then there was Twilight, it was obvious that these eight meant a lot to her. And that their opinion counted a lot. She knew the princesses, and she knew that Twilight was part of the Elements of Harmony. Where these five the other bearers? But that would not make any sense.
From what the rumors said Twilight was practically raised by Celestia from a very young age.
Although her exact age from when she was apprenticed was a bit of a mystery that only a very few knew.
Her slitted eyes darted over the room, observing each and every one of them. Even the one who was trying to hide her expressions in with her mane. If they could judge her so openly, then she would repay them with the same kindness and just simply glare at them.
Awkward silence reigned supreme, at least until Twilight had decided that a coup needed to be staged against it. But how? How could she break this awkwardness and the apparent chill in the room.
She could see the looks in her friends eyes. They were silently judging Pleasant Dreams. But why? She had done nothing to them, nor to Twilight herself. They why the silent disgust and judgement?
A thought occurred to her, more a simple realisation then a actual thought. It could not be, surely she would have told them right?
No, she had not told them. She had been so absorbed into her research that she had never let her friends in on her deception of the nobles.
And she was supposed to be the smart one of their little group. How could she have been so stupid!
All except Luna and Celestia were under the impression that Dreams was a noble! So of course they were acting like this. Although Rarity seemed to be less judgemental than the others. Her aloofness to the situation could be due her being around the 'elite' often, but Twilight knew the white mare better than that. She was studying the situation, no real opinion had been formed. Perhaps she had learned that something was not as they thought during their time alone and had not yet been able to share this with the others?
But that was a question for later, now she had more pressing matters to attend to.
Now that she knew why her future wife had been received so coldly by those who were usually so warm and friendly to others she knew how she could rectify the situation. And perhaps set the poor thestral in a better light with her friends. Standing up from her seat she cleared her throat.
“Girls?”
Her voice clear and it raptly got the attention of her five friends while both the princesses where looking with interest. Even Pleasant Dreams was looking at her. Those beautiful yellow eyes were placed on her, questioning, sad and with a hint of what seemed to be anger.
It saddened the young alicorn a bit to see that anger. She had always been somewhat of a romantic at heart, must have been the countless of novels that snuck their way into her research piles thanks to Spike, even if she had buried that part of her beneath millions of thick tomes and obscure knowledge. And it had been that little buried part of her that had hoped for a swift but happy ending to this ordeal.
But luckily the thestral had not seemed to be hostile and had been atleast a bit friendly. So maybe there was a chance of that happy ending. Maybe they could become good friends, and who knows a bit more given enough time maybe a little more. After all science had proven time and time again that people can develop those emotions when stuck together for a long period of time. They even had a fancy name for it. But that name eluded her for the time being.
She shook her head a bit, clearing her mind of future thoughts and fruitless searches for a psychological term. There were more pressing matters right now.
“Right. Now before I say anything I`d like to ask you to let me finish.”
A glance towards Rainbow was enough to restrain the rambunctious pegasus for now. But Twilight had been dead on, the blue mare had been on the verge of one of her well known accusatorial speeches.
“As all of you know thanks to some old law I am forced to give my hoof in marriage to one who was selected by the nobles. And I'm pretty sure you know who those ponies selected.”
Her serious expression briefly turned into a small smile.
“But what you do not know is that with Celestia's help I managed to trick them. They gave me new choices, choices besides themselves.”
With a soft touch she placed her hoof on Dream`s shoulder. The mare shuddered slightly, a bit similar to Fluttershy when she was being touched by somepony she did not know, almost like she was fearful or very uncomfortable with being touched. But she did not shrug it off like Twilight was half expecting.
“Pleasant Dreams here was one of those choices.” Twilight's voice chanced after saying this. Not lecturing like before. But warmer, and almost pleading.
“She is being forced into this, just like me.”
A couple of tear came in the young alicorn`s eyes as she sat down. Her purple eyes gazing in Dreams` for a single fleeting moment. Those bright orbs seemingly pleading forgiveness as she continued her little speech, although in a very soft tone. A tone more like a whisper to oneself then actual speech.
“But unlike me she had no choice.”
The revelation seemed to have some effect. The looks the thestral mare got now were slightly less judgemental. Atleast it was a start, Twilight was sure that once they got to know her they would warm up to her.
Right, getting to know one`s bride. The moment the scholar`s thought went to the direction of having her friends getting to know Dreams she realised that she herself knew next to nothing about the mare herself.
So she summoned the Great checklist of all things to do from the depths of the organised part of her mind and added the mental addendums;
- Think of things to use to get to know Pleasant Dreams and vise versa.
- Use things thought up in the previous sentence.
Her little speech had not ended a moment too soon as within moments a small legion of servants and trolley cars poured into the small room.
For some odd reason every trolley just contained the food of one pony and easily had the room to hold atleast three meals more.
But Twilight had long since learned to suppress the urge to slap whoever thought up that it would be disrespecting to the princesses and their guests to even think about placing food for different ponies on the same trolley.
With the food being distributed, every last dish specifically made for the pony receiving it, the silence fell again.
Pleasant Dreams had read the small cart that came with her meager little bowl of assorted fruit bits. At first she thought that it was almost nothing, the portion was like something you'd normally eat as a quick snack.
But the little card on the side her plate told her it was part of a three-staged meal. This was just the appetizer.
Being served food on a fancy platter had been a whole new experience for the mare, usually she'd get a small dinner in the kitchens. Most of the times it was a sandwich, or maybe even a salad if she was lucky, combined with a small glass of pure juice, often something as cheap and disgusting as a mixed sludge of questionable origin.
Fresh fruits were expensive in the capital, especially since the market was dominated by a few rich merchants that bought up all the stock from the farmers before it reached the market and then selling it at triple the price.
So having a thestral as a servant was very expensive, rare and exotic but still very expensive. Simply because of their genetics. For some odd reason the thestral was more akin to a vampire fruitbat then a bird like the feathered pegasus.
Taking a few small bites and simply enjoying the small explosion of juice each bite. The silence reigned supreme once more as all others were eating.
Dreams was thinking a bit she knew next to nothing about the others, and the reverse was in effect as well. Well besides the two oldest princesses that is.
It was a position swiftly helped by a pink earth pony who Dreams knew had to be Pinkie Pie, well she may have lived rather secluded, gossip and newspapers still made their way into her life. So she knew the names and a few bits and pieces of how the 'heroes of Equestria' looked like.
Not that any would actually give them even the littlest bit of attention, no that would be wrong. Simply because it would mean that those corrupt snobs would need to acknowledge that there were others then Luna and Celestia who were their superiors.
But back to the pink mare, who had devoured a decent sized cake slice in a single bit. Seriously who eats cake as an appetizer?
Anxious she had been looking around the table, staring especially towards Dreams. It was clear to all who saw her that the mare had been doing everything she could to remain calm and collected. But that was all just a calmness before the storm. A storm which unleashed mere moments after Pleasant Dreams had spotted Pinkie`s troubles with being silent and sitting still.
The moment Pinkie opened her muzzle words flowed out in a incoherent torrent of speech. The thestral had been completely lost after the first few sentences. But for some strange reason the others were seemingly able to follow her.
Maybe it was a required gift gained from overexposure?
From the little bits she got it became clear that Pinkie was firing something akin to a introduction speech. But with all the random clutter thrown in it was really hard to follow. But from what she did get she learned it was no real loss that she could only get small bits. The pink mare was already starting to warm up to her and something told Dreams that it would not be long before she knew just about everything concerning the mare pretty soon.
Soon after one Twilight had somehow managed to conjure a zipper across Pinkie`s muzzle, why a zipper and not a silence spell was something Dreams didn't understand, the others started to speak up and introduce themselves a bit.
All of them where a bit simple in their introduction. Rainbow Dash had even been a bit hostile, but given the facts of the situation she could understand a bit. She did represent loyalty after all so a bit of a protective attitude regarding those who she saw as friends was understandable. She simply hoped that the prismatic flyer would later on start to give her some slack. As a night-maid you often got dirty looks so she was used to being looked down upon. But if this was to be a somewhat fresh start in life she needed others to either ignore her presence or atleast make an effort to get to know the true Pleasant Dreams. And not the facade she had created over the years. Though that could prove to be difficult in the long run. If you uphold a mask for so long more often than not you stop pretending and start being that mask.
They had made the whole round of introductions yet one of those present, well besides the princesses of course, had refrained from speaking up. Dreams had seen a few glimpses of the mare`s eyes peeking out from under her mane as she took a few bites of a light salad. Those eyes had been filled with fear and something akin to confusion.
But with all other unknowns had spoken up, and her friends looking at her hopefully, the butterscotch pegasus could no longer hide and had to speak up.
With the long pink strands of mane brushed from her face Dreams could see a face properly for the first time.
But what she saw was impossible, the mare bore a face she recognized from her time in the 'prospect wing' of the orphanage.
As the pegasus spoke Dreams could not believe it, she had to be dreaming. There was simply no other explanation.
First the old master himself had woken her when prying her out of the hooves of his great grandson and brought her to the palace for a special meeting with royalty. There she had learned that she was to marry a princess with all aspects that came with it, including a limited freedom and a large sum of bits every month. Well large? Large enough that she was willing to sell her body for it again. Atleast this time it was with her own rules.
And now, now she was staring straight at the face of her old bedmate. A bedmate who had fallen of a cloud nearly 12 years ago and was reported to have died.
She had been to the service herself! It had been a memorial since.....
Since no body had ever been found.
With that realisation Dreams snapped out off her train of thought. Just in time to hear the others encourage the mare with the name Fluttershy as she was closing her own introduction.
But that end was never to come as Pleasant Dreams interrupted with an uncertain voice.
“Whisper? Is, is that really you?”
This got the attention of all present on the table. Especially from the mare herself. One could see the gears slowly grinding in her mind.
But a mere second later the gears stopped, the little Fluttershy nestled deep within the archives that is called the long term memory had dug up old and repressed memories. Of a time she was allowed to forget thanks to granny Posey.
Memories of Gentle Breeze`s sanctuary for abandoned foals, and of her bedmate from that time.
A thestral filly, they were placed in the 'prospect wing' at the same day. And because of the permanent money shortage foals often shared a single bed.
But that was not possible, those who came into that wing only got out after they had finished their 'education'. Or doctrinated brainwashing as Fluttershy sometimes called it to herself. And this mare seemed to still have some free will and resistance and a sense of self left.
But she was snapped out of her thoughts by the warm and comfy sensation of soft fur and velvety wings hugging her. Looking up she saw the yellow eyes of her old bed-mate, eyes filled with the same hurt as her own and eyes filled with tears.
Gently she hugged the mare back, a friend from a previous life. A friend of a life before Rainbow Dash and granny Posey.
Tears flowing strong, knowing exactly what the mare in her hooves would have endured for so long.
She almost could not bring herself to say it but she had to. In a voice even more silent than usual, but strangely enough loud enough for the entire table to be heard she spoke.
“I`m sorry Dreamy, i'm so sorry but Whisper died when she fell from the clouds. She died so Fluttershy could live.”
At this the whole room bursted into sound. Everypony wanted to know the deal. Had Fluttershy been lying to them all this time? Was anything about the timid mare real or had it all been an act?
Only four of those present remained silent.
Pleasant Dreams, Fluttershy, Applejack and Princess Celestia. Well they were silent until the alicorn decided to speak up. Her voice warm, motherly and soothing instantly stopped the chatter.
“Please my little ponies, please calm down.”
A magenta eye looked questioning towards Fluttershy who nodded hesitantly before shooting an apologetic look towards Pleasant Dreams.
“Yes, Fluttershy was once known by the name Whisper. But no, she did not deceive any of you for her name was legally changed. But right now I need all of you.”
Celestia looked towards her sister for a moment.
“Including you Luna, to swear that what I am about to say will never ever leave this room.”
The assortment of vows were as diverse as the small crowd that was hanging from Celestia's lips.
The ancient mare took a deep breath before starting to talk.
She started to talk about how roughly 10 years ago she had learned that a elderly mare had filed for a name change for a young filly. A filly she claimed to be her granddaughter. But a quick look in the register told the clerk that the mare did not have any family left. But also no filly in that region had ever been reported missing. Just a suspiciously vague death report filed by a orderly from an orphanage two years before.
She had visited the mare and the filly in the outskirts of Ponyville under the guise of a public officer, with the aid of a illusion of course, together with three of her personal honor guard.
There she had learned of the small filly, and the ordeals she had went through and what many others like her went through. And even worse, what their future would be like the decision was easily made. Certainly when considering that during the entire ordeal Celestia could not detect a single item that would make her think the filly was telling a lie.
So it was decided that evidence against this pony-trade and slave training was to end. The filly went into a special witness program until enough evidence could be collected to put a stop to it completely.
But the corruption had been rooted more deeply than any ever expected. Those send to check up on these acts either retired after saying nothing out of the ordinary was happening or went missing all together before their report could be filed.
And thus, no legal action could be taken even though those with the power to do so knew something was wrong. There just was no evidence.
Applejack had just remained silent throughout the entire confession and explanation, she had known a fair bit of the truth. Afterall she was the one who discovered the injured filly all those years ago. And she knew she had introduced herself with another name then Fluttershy. But she felt that it was not her place to judge the filly/mare for it, figuring there had to be a solid reason behind it. And with the reasons told today she had to admit, they were very solid indeed.
It was not the Apple way to lie, but it was even less the Apple way to tell a secret that was not theirs to tell.
It was just after Celestia`s explanation that the servants came back in, again with a trolley for each of those present with a dish to be swapped with the empty plates.
The lavish dishes in front of them seemed to be made of poison due the mood currently present in the room. Celestia had been skimming over the things both Dreams and Whisper, no Fluttershy, and many others had to endure.
There had been hugs, there had been tears and even promises of pounding those responsible into dust.
But in all it had been the most extreme test of the bonds of friendship between the elements. Especially after the emotions had died down a bit when Fluttershy had asked for forgiveness of her deceit.
It was obvious that the bonds of trust had taken a rather heavy blow, but they were all willing to forgive her under the condition that she had to tell them everything. The entire story.
She agreed to it, but only if Pleasant Dreams would be there as well to fill in the blanks of what happens further into the 'training'.
She was hesitant against it, simply because she never really knew how she still remained remotely sane. But for the sake of her old bed-mate she agreed. But only if she was allowed to do what the princess had done. Skim over the subjects, as somewhere far too recent and others to painful to even think about.
But perhaps it would help getting a bit more of peace of mind by telling her story.
Yet in the back of her mind she wondered why. Why was she willing to open up so easily to these ponies. There just was something about them she could not place her hoof upon.
She felt it before, when she first met Princess Twilight. It was like a strange calmness, something about them simply wanted you to trust them.
Throughout the meal all ponies kept to themselves, some trying to eat others simply picking at their dinner. One did not have to hear the entire conversation to know that those present just had something very heavy to digest.
At the end of the dinner the soon to be married couple was being led towards the throne room. But not before Pleasant Dreams had been engulfed in a tender hug from a teary eyed Fluttershy who said that she would be there for her, and that everything would be alright.
For it had been her one wish of the crown they all had gotten for freeing Luna; That the princess would double the effort into bringing those ponies to justice, and to aid their victims. And for some strange reason the butterscotch mare had believed firmly that it would succeed.
Pleasant Dreams had different thoughts about the matter, she had seen with her own eyes how many powerful allies these ponies had, but she could not bring herself to dash the others hopes and dreams.
But as they walked through the hallway with their escort neither had a clue about what was going to happen. Their escort, which had created quite a bit of a ruckus as Dreams did not want one due she felt it would make her look like one of those spoiled brats, had told them that they would be receiving a few guests that evening. But as to who these guests were? Not even a single word had been spoken about it.
So there they were, sitting in the throneroom waiting on their guests. Twilight shifting uncomfortably on the large throne, still not used to taking her mentor and mentor`s sisters' place there. And Pleasant Dreams in the smaller, but still very big and ornamented, seat on its right side.
Twilight had tried to start a conversation by asking the other mare who she expected to walk through the door. She got a hesitant look before the other replied.
“Don't know, they said to expect somepony important. You`re the one raised in this whole noble business, I'm just a simple night maid. You tell me who or what to expect.”
Though the reply may have been said a bit hostile, the little smirk forming on Dreams lips took a lot of the sting out of it. It showed that it had been nothing more than an attempt at humor. A bad attempt, but still it brought a smile to Twilight's face as well. For more reasons than just the simple jibe at her upbringing. It showed a very small bit of the mare beneath the mask of Pleasant Dreams.
She wanted to try and break another part of that mask, or even simply try and learn a bit more about the other mare. She was already formulating a schematic for the conversation using the techniques she read about in: psychology and you; a beginners guide into the mental world.
Yet the moment she opened her mouth to speak voices where heard from the other side of the door.
At first it had been the gruff voice belonging to one of the senior members of the royal guard. Most likely the sergeant in charge of the throne room.
“Through here m'lord, m'lady. The princess is awaiting your arrival as we speak.”
A second voice, albeit muffled, reached through the large gilded doors. “Now listen here young lad! What is with you and all that m'lord and m'lady? You lot drag us out of our home, tell us to pack only the essentials and say nothing else then that you`ll make sure the rest gets at the correct destination. Then you drag us to the castle and in front of the throne room without so much as a word. And to top it off, you keep throwing about those honorifics as if we're some kind of nobles. If this is some kind of mistaken identity. Let`s just say that i'm not to old to give your hide a good tanning!”
The elderly voice was obviously familiar to Pleasant Dreams seeing how her ears perked up and her entire demeanor changed. To say she perked up was a understatement. A genuine smile graced her face. Twilight had to admit that even with her two fangs creeping out from under her lips the thestral had a beautiful smile.
Twilight had thought she could drown in those golden yellow orbs before, but now that actually mirth had seeped into them they were breathtaking. The little fluff on her ears seemed to twitch and dance adorably as the ears turned, trying their hardest to pick up the sounds. And then her entire demeanor. The slight slump and servantile posture she seemed to have where gone.
Instead she sat straight up, her wings gently hanging at her sides. Not tightly folded but not fully spread either.
She almost looked like one of those models Rarity employed to show off her latest lines. Not scratch that. She looked like she belonged on that throne she was in right now, all she would need was a tiara.
But she would not force one of those on her. For the life of it Twilight could not understand how Celestia and Luna could put up with wearing something like that all the time. Luckily she only needed to wear it for official stuff.
She would be glad if she could dump the one she was wearing right now. It just didn't feel right.
She sighed a little bit as she heard the large doors creaking a bit. Her first official task as a princess. Meeting up with their esteemed guests.
As the door opened fully both of the mares could see an elderly couple standing behind a large armor clad earth pony. Who snapped into a salute towards the throne and bellowed the obligated introduction for nobility and ambassadors.
“Presenting Lord Skystream and Lady Cloudshower. Esteemed elder`s from high house Skystream of the revered Arcane court.”
Pleasant Dreams had heard their voices, but she could not believe her eyes and ears this time. Her very own grandparents had been brought to the castle. And they where actually nobles?
But that could not be, they were both retired cloud pushers. It made no sense. But at the time it did not matter. All that mattered right now was that they were there.
The elderly pegasi however stood there with their mouths open for a small bit of time. They could not believe what they were seeing. Their granddaughter sitting next to the freshly crowned princess Twilight Sparkle. Not as a maid, awaiting an order. But sitting there on the smaller throne, the very seat reserved for the mate, the special somepony, of the princess occupying the main one.
Gears started to work slowly as the sight was processed. Their expression of surprise changing to a scowl of anger. Had the corruption really spread so far that it had included the princesses themselves?
But their scowl did not last long either, instead it was replaced by a neutral expression. Logical conclusions had been created. If the princesses really where in to the complot then why summon them here?
Out of respect for the title the elderly pegasi had been bowing. But Twilight soon made sure that would end.
“Rise please, there is no need to bow before us.”
They had not risen to standing before they found themselves embraced in a tight hug from Pleasant Dreams. “Granny, gramps? You will not believe what happened today.”
With those words Pleasant Dreams started to talk. And talk, and talk and then talk some more. Explaining into the smallest detail what had happened that day.
Twilight had summoned a few servants halfway through the story, which had been going on for a good hour or so by now, to bring some refreshments. But all the while she remained silent. Silently she wished for some writing gear, Dreams was actually opening up to her grandparents.
She was chatty, she was happy. Some of those comments she had made to her parents, like observations of the castle`s staff or the nobles she had seen at the gathering earlier today, had been astounding. That mare may never have studied but there had been very obvious signs that the thestral was quite intelligent.
Twilight had thought she had seen bits of the true Pleasant Dreams before, but how wrong she was. And how happy the alicorn was to see her 'fiancé' like this the more the realisation that she might never see that side of the mare herself if she was not able to create a bond.
She was snapped out of her stream of thoughts as Dreams concluded her tale with.
“And that leaves us at this moment.”
Her grandmother embraced her with a sad smile. Though still trapped without true freedom she knew her granddaughter would atleast have a better life. That is, if she was to believe what was told. But one question still remained. Something the guards who came to collect her and her husband earlier had said.
“Your highness, forgive me but while i`m glad you atleast gave us the chance to speak with our granddaughter i have to ask. What are your plans with her and why force us out of our home.”
Twilight blinked as her mind snapped back to reality. Why had these ponies not been informed? It was common for the elderly nobles of the high houses to retire within the castle. It had been that way for ages.
But wait, they never even knew they had become nobles in the first place! The contract between Pleasant Dreams and her had already been signed while they were discussing the stipends. So even without the actual wedding Dreams was her consort, and by extend that meant her grandparents had become the elders and house lords of the second high house of her arcane court. House Sparkle, with her parents as the regents, had been the first of course.
“First, please just call me Twilight. Save the bowing and such for those who have actually ruled our fair nation. I may hold a title but i've yet to do anything of real importance.
“Secondly well to be honest I thought they would have explained it all to you. Its because Pleasant Dreams is already bound to me due the consort contract we signed earlier today. It means you are nobility yourself.”
Slowly Twilight stood up and walked towards the three ponies.
“As such you are entitled to retire like a all of the higher nobles. Within the palace. I do not know who gave the guard their orders, but the choice ultimately is yours and yours alone. As for my intentions with Dreams.”
Her expression saddened and it carried in her voice.
“It was not my decision to take on a consort. Certainly at my current age, or the way it is right now.”
She swallowed once, trying to buy some time to find the right words.
“But my intentions are pure, from what little she has told me she has been through to much already.
I do not know what the future will bring, but I promise you the same as I promised her. That I will do anything to ensure that she will be able to live her life as normal as she possibly can. Well atleast as normal as being married to a princess can be.”
She knew her promise would be very hard to keep, she knew she could never ever repeat the second part of it. That she would allow Dreams to cheat on her should she desire a different mate in bedding or during heat. But if she did and word got out, the thestrals life would be in ruins. So it had to remain their little secret. She just hoped the other would be discreet about it.
It had been with those words that she bade them goodnight. Not wanting to intrude on their family time any longer.
Much later that evening Pleasant Dreams had returned that night. She found Twilight reading in one of the two beds.
The lavender princess looked up with a gentle smile. “Ooh hey, you're back. I`m sorry but I kinda claimed one of the beds without asking.”
Her gentle smile turned a bit sheepish as she rubbed behind her head with a hoof. “We can still trade you know. I did shower before lying down so its probably clean.”
Dreams merely shook her head and went towards the other bed. Clearly Twilight had forgotten that she had already 'claimed' the other bed when they were in there the last time. And that it was actually the princess herself who got the second pick. But she felt it would be better not to bring up a discussion like that.
She felt that silence was in order. Silence because of her first night. Her first night to come with the mare in the other bed, and the first night since as long as she can remember to have a bed for her very own.
With little to effort she crawled under the covers to atleast try and get some sleep. She knew she was going to need it, for the next two days would be even more strange and hectic as today was.
A small glimmer of light was extinguished on the other side of the room. A signal that Twilight was going to try and sleep as well.
Twilight, she was an odd one. The thestral had to admit that. She could act so naïve and innocent, but at the same time she harbored a great intellect. For what she had seen so far this young alicorn may not be so bad. But she would not blindly trust her, let her prove those honeyed words of a better life first.
Several hours later and Pleasant Dreams was certainly not living up to her name. Pleasant dreams were exactly what were eluding her. For Luna`s sake sleep in general was eluding her. For the past few hours she had just been tossing and turning wide awake.
Something just felt not right, it felt like something was missing. Something crucial for her to sleep.
But she never had any problems sleeping before, not even with that sorry and disgusting excuse of a stallion she had called master embracing her, breathing his putrid alcoholic and something else breath into her nose while he snored.
Then realisation hit, and for the second time that day tears started to fall. Even with all of her resistance and silent defiance in her mind they still had gotten to her, they still had managed to break her.
She was unable to sleep without the presence of another pony, without the soft fur rubbing against her or being able to feel their chest rise and fall with their breathing.
It took her a good while to stop sobbing. With her bloodshot eyes she looked over to the other end of the room towards the gently snoring form of Twilight Sparkle.
Would she dare to, would Twilight mind? The alicorn had shown herself to be friendly atleast, smelled a lot better then the young master as well.
A short internal struggle of juggling pros and cons later Dreams found herself snuggling against the soft wings of the purple alicorn. And like predicted she was off in a deep sleep in mere minutes. Her last coherent thought was geared towards “I hope I can explain this tomorrow.”
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Fluttershy? What now? I just wanted more Pleasant Dreams...
Dreams is lucky to have such great grandparents, I hope they enjoy life in the palace.
How long until Blueblood makes an unwelcome appearance and needs to have his head bashed????
Good chapter, it was interesting to see a plot twist like fluttershy's happening, I was wondering what subjects could be breached as the story went on. I see have little to worry about. Also great ending, it shows not all the bad stuff is still in the past but also present in the present.
There is one thing that irks me. Several times in this chapter when a pony tells a large story it gets hidden away in the description. This leads to me wondering if somepony actually said something or there was a strange transistion in the description. An example of this is when Pleasant Dreams tells her side of the story about Fluttershy. It seems like there should be dialogue there but we get description of Dreams thinking about things.
There were only eight others there besides her at the end of the last chapter.... of course you also skipped the number '4'.
There is that 'eight' again.
3890308
Hmm you`re righ
t. I`ll need to fix that. Tnx
Dear. Goddess. It's a compelling story and all but there are just so. Many. ERRORS!
It took me an hour to read this, 6k words should only take about thirty minutes. I shouldn't have read this before bed, I literally have a headache from working through the errors.
Of course this has been the case after every chapter of this and I'm still here so...
Edit:
And I only pointed out the continuity break because there are too many grammatical errors to point out in this or any format. That level of errors needs a format where they can just be corrected instead of pointed out.
Holy beast core! You sure like to throw a perverbial curve ball don't you? This was a great chapter. But your Wong about the sad tag. Twilight will feel sad for what dreams will have to explain because that shows dreams has had been forced into that for so long it became part of her. Any way are you going to write season four with dreams added in right now I am putting this just after equestria girls in as time line.
The crown will not strike a finger for investigation: Celestia receives dividends from sale of orphaned slaves.
Also, very nice story. I dont care about grammatics.
Getting better with each chapter. Still doing a lot more telling than showing, and the text starts getting 'conversational' in places, as if speaking with someone casually rather than reading a story. Keep up the improvement!
3890744
I`ll try
I have to say, your writing skills are pretty damn awful.
But your story is magnificent. I gladly read this without a care. Still, you might want to do a little more work on that. Might I recommend Ezn's guide?
And I feel bad, because despite the context, I can't help but find snuggling batpone adorable.
Keep up the good work.
3891468
I`ll give it a look before i start on my next chapter.
As for me being bad, true i`m not the best out there but we all have to start somewhere. I write many stuff. Though mostly i`m a boardgame development kinda guy as a hobby.
Publishing my fics here is a way to get what mostly is constructive cirtism to improve myself.
Their were what seemed to be transitions between different pony's perspective that I couldn't keep track of a few times between Twilight and Pleasant Dreams. Or that could just be me, I don't honestly know.
3890657
And if that is the case, then Luna will strike her from her lofty throne.
And should that not be the case, then Twilight will blow $#!& up.
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I think Twilight will blow stuff up regards of what happens in Canterlot.
3891830
If you're saying that, then it must be true.
farm6.staticflickr.com/5147/5849188876_3802881249_o.jpg
3891553
Your main issues are grammatical errors, mostly missing punctuation and the wrong use of words.
For instance, "I write many stuff." should be "I write a lot of stuff." or "I write many things."
It shouldn't really be that way, considering that "a lot of" pretty much means the exact same thing as "many", as they are both quantifiers referring to a large number, but English is pretty crappy like that. It often doesn't make much sense.
Perhaps some less pedantic mistakes to point out would be the list of eye-based descriptions at the beginning. Not only were there several missing full stops, but you missed out the number four.
Although, as I said before, there are only a few occasions when the mistakes are jarring and it's difficult to read. I don't really have that much of a problem with it, although it would surely improve the quality of the story. Since you desire to improve your writing skills, I thought it would be best to try and improve your understanding (hence the guide) rather than point out mistakes, although I would be happy to do that as well.
I would highly recommend acquiring an additional editor. While I mean no offense to your current one, they really aren't very good. Not only are they not correcting your mistakes, but they know they're doing a bad job, and instead of trying to rectify that, they just make excuses. I'm quite sure with a story as good as this you'll be able to find someone willing to put a bit more effort in.
This is why a lovely absolute monarchy/dictatorship is a good thing. Especially when that lovely monarchy is ruled by the Equestrian Princesses. Even with red tape and massive illicit funding I highly doubt something like that kind barely legal slave trade would survive more than a couple decades.
Love the ending
Poor dreams
So far I'm enjoying this. Thumb up and favorite.
There are a few mistakes, the most common is that you use the wrong word. You use 'then' instead of 'than', and 'than' where 'then' should be.
I'm looking forward to Discord's reaction to what Fluttershy went through. The retribution should be epic.
4296344 I had the same thought!
3890337 Was re-reading the story waiting for the next chapter and saw something I missed...
She already knows about Fluttershy. Remember her introduction speech in chapter one? She said:
Fluttershy and Granny Posey.
Thank god I'm not in this story cuz I would raise Holy hell on those slave basters.
I think the story concept is a brilliant idea but to me there's just too much tell and very little show. You explain a lot but there is very little interaction between characters. If you ever update the story then I wish you good luck but it's not for me.
10544787
I know, its why i have not updated in so long. I`m practicing this so i can rewrite and do the concept justice.