Falling into Equestria is Not Fun (Co-op fic)

by Boy with a Robotic Hand

Chapter 2 - Suddenly, Ponies

"Uugghh..." I groaned as I slowly returned to the land of the living-things-that-didn't-just-fall-out-of-the-sky-and-have-their-best-friend-land-on-them.

I tried to open my eyes, only for them to feel like lead weights that did not want to wake up.

I also couldn't move my arms or legs at all, which wasn't too unusual. I've had something like this happen to me before, when, after I wake up, my mind is up and running, but the rest of my body hasn't quite gotten the message yet. It'll just take a few seconds...

I waited a few seconds and tried again, but I still couldn't move anything. Ok, now I'm starting to get worried, I've never been able to not move for this long.

'Holy crap, am I paralyzed, or something?' I thought as I began to panic. I really could not move any of my limbs, and I couldn't even open my eyes. This could be very, very ba- Oh hey look I can open my eyes.

Since my eyes had decided to no longer be lead weights, I opened them and took a look around where I was. Of course, normally, I wouldn't be examining my surroundings after waking up, but considering I'm probably paralyzed in some form, I think I should probably be checking for signs of danger or something or someone that could help me.

The room I was in was definitely not my own, and it was very... white.

So much white.

This would have been rather annoying if white was a bad color. No, I quite like white, white's a nice color.

...Though, can it really be considered a color? I mean, it's moreso just a blank canvas, isn't it? I mean, why else would things erase into white? ...Why the hell is this what I'm focusing my thoughts on? I may be paralyzed, and I'm thinking about whether or not white can truly be considered a color. I'm a freaking genius, aren't I?

Anyways, going back to what I was thinking about before debating with myself on white's status as a true color, I guessed that I was in a hospital ward of some kind, most likely as one of the patients.

I mean, duh, of course I'd be one of the patients, I fell from the sky, didn't I? ...Wait, I fell from the sky.

'Holy crap, did that actually happen? I fell from the sky and LIVED?!' I thought, amazed at my incredible luck. I mean, just wow. I'll admit, I have been a decently lucky guy when it comes to life in general, but I never imagined I'd end up falling from the sky and living.

Come to think of it, how DID I survive? I mean, that fall surely had to be high enough to be fatal, even with the tree helping me somewhat. Oh well, at least I'm alive, I mean, not many people would be able to fall from that height and live, right?

Moving back from my thoughts to the real world (again), I noticed I had regained full control of my body, and proceeded to sit upright, but closed my eyes, as there was a rather bright light in front of me.

"Well, that was a thing..." I said, partially to myself, but also to hopefully grab the attention of anyone in the ward. And, it worked; I heard someone walking over to me, though, it sounded more like hooves clopping rather than...whatever noise it is that shoes make. Tapping? Let's go with tapping.

"Ah, I see you're awake, then?" said a feminine voice from somewhere in front of me.

"Well, unless I've somehow managed to sleep sitting upright without any support, I'd say I'm awake," I said, and was pleased to hear a bit of a giggle from who I assume was a nurse.

"So, uh, what happ–" I began, but stopped abruptly, as I had opened my eyes to see that both the light was turned off, and that the nurse in front of me appeared to be some form of horse.

Before I could process this information, however, my mouth decided to stop hanging agape and made use of itself by responding with the only possible response: "...What?"

The nurse looked at me confusedly and said, "Oh, I thought you'd like the light turned off."

"N-no, it's just that I think I might be hallucinating; I mean, you look exactly like some kind of horse, or pony..." I said, becoming unsure near the end of the sentence, and trailing off.

"Well, I should certainly hope I do, because otherwise that would mean I've been hallucinating all my life," the nurse said cheerfully, "I think you may have hit your head on the way down, we've all been ponies for a very long time."

"Y-yeah, I think that's gotta be it..." I said, with a growing suspicion.

I looked down at my hands, only to find that they were light blue hooves. But my Team Fortress 2 BLU Pyro sweatbands were still there, so that's a plus.

I looked up to find the nurse (who was a lime green earth pony) walking away to check on a sleeping patient in the bed next to mine. Now that I got a good look at her, I saw that she was, definitely, a pony from the TV show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. She definitely didn't look as cartoon-like as she would've in the show; she looked a lot more real, but there was still that unmistakable look of a cartoon about her; and me, for that matter.

Also, now that the light was turned off, I could see that the room was not, in fact, white, but instead the walls were a dark, kinda reddish brown, with the floor following the same color scheme, albeit with tiles.

'Okay,' I thought to myself, 'so this can't just be a simple hallucination, 'cause she said we're all ponies... Geez, maybe I've finally cracked; I mean, my options are: I'm insane, I'm in a dream world created by a coma, or the least likely scenario: I'm ACTUALLY experiencing something that's been dreamt and written about, but never truly experienced... Yeah, right; I'm probably just in a coma, or something...'

I heard something hit the table next to me, and looked to find a glass of water sitting there.

"I thought you might like to have some water," the nurse said casually.

"Oh, thanks," I said, grabbing the glass of water.

...Wait, how did I do that?

I just grabbed a glass of water. With hooves. No fingers, no nothing. It looked like it was just sticking to my hoof, but I could pass it between my hooves without feeling like I was un-sticking it every time.

I guess the nurse was watching me mess with the glass, because she said, "Um... what are you doing?"

I quickly thought of an excuse, and said, "Oh, uh, I guess I just never really thought of how weird it is that we can just pick things up without having anything visible to grab them with."

"Oh, well you do know how we hold things, right?" I shook my head. "Well, it's a bit of magic that each of us has that allows all of us to subconsciously do a lesser version of a levitation spell; pretty handy, if you ask me."

'Well, there's one mystery solved...'

"Speaking of magic, how's your horn feeling?" she asked.

"Horn?" I moved one of my hooves up to my head to check for a horn, and (unsurprsingly) found one. "Oh, I forgot you were there, buddy," I said, trying to sound as casual as you can when you're a light blue unicorn talking to his own horn. In all honesty, I was kinda freaking out at all this new stuff, but I managed to keep all that in my head; don't want to end up in the loony bin.

Then again, they let Pinkie stay in Ponyville, so I'm not entirely sure what gets ya' tossed into one an insane asylum here...

Before the nurse could respond to me talking to my own horn, the pony in the bed next to me starting moving and groaning, and the nurse mumbled something about getting a doctor, and left.

While the nice Miss Nurse Lady was gone, the pony woke up, and proceeded to sit upright and rub his head with his hoof. Getting a better look at him, I saw that he was a dark purple pegasus, with a wingboner, for some reason; or, maybe he was just stretching, I dunno.

"Ughh. What happened?" he groaned, "I seem to recall falling from the sky. Wait... Falling from the sky!? I FELL FROM THE GOD DAMN SKY! WHAT?! Clearly I was dreaming. Then again I'm in a hospital and feel like shit. And why do I feel strange... Extra limbs? EXTRA LIMBS! I HAVE FOUR ARMS! Then again they don't feel like arms. They feel feathery... AM I A BIRD NOW? I'M A BIRD! BRILLIANT!" The pegasus ranted, utterly baffling me.

Before I could even fully process what he said, the crazed pegasus looked down at his hooves and continued, "HOOVES? HOOVES? I'M A PEGASAUS? Or an Alicorn." he shouted, "GOD! HOW DID I BECOME THIS? DOES FALLING FROM THE SKY NOW RESULT IN TRANSFORMING INTO A MYTHICAL CREATURE INSTEAD OF DEATH? Alright Miles... Calm down... You're a purple pegasaus in a hospital ward with injuries... WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST SAY? THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE! Well it clearly is considering... Wait a freaking minute. That weird rainbow thing. GOD DAMN STUPID RAINBOW THINGS THAT MAKE YOU FALL FROM THE SKY AND BECOME A BRIGHTLY COLOURED EQUINE!"

As I was recovering from the shock of this guy screaming his head off (and how he continued ranting after that), I tried to make sense of what he had said, 'Ok... I guess he's in the same boat as me, saying that the weird Rainbow Bullet Of Death got him, and that he fell from the sky and turned into a pony as well... Or, maybe he's just insane, not sure. But he may be that only pers- er, PONY I can talk to about this, no matter how insane either of us are...'

"Hey, uh, dude?" I said, trying to get the rather crazy pony's attention, "You probably wanna stop yelling before the nurse comes back and puts ya' in an insane asylum."

Unfortunately, this had given him another thing to rant about, "WHAT?" The very crazy pegasus shouted questioningly, "I recognise that voice... AW DAMNIT! I've gone insane! There is no way that Alex is conveniently in this pony world of rainbowness and in this very same hospital.

'What the hell is he- Oh.' I thought. I had just realized who this very, very, crazy pegasus might be, 'This is Miles, isn't it?' I listened to him rant for a second, '...Yeah, it's him; the voice is the same,' I mentally sighed, 'Of course he's the insane pegasus; I mean, why WOULDN'T he be? I get attacked by some stupid rainbow bullet, fall from the sky and have something else fall on top of me (though, now that I think of it, it was probably him), and wind up in a hospital as a unicorn from my favorite show. I mean, on top of all that, seeing Miles as a pegasus seems pa-retty normal in comparison...'

Now that I knew that this was Miles, I realized I should probably stop my best friend from getting himself sent to an insane asylum, "Hey, Miles?" I asked.

"Yes, disembodied voice of Alex?"

"Shut up."

"But talking is fun, not real Alex who is somehow talking to me!"

"Oi... One: I am real. Two: you ARE a pegasus, and thre- TURN YOUR HEAD TO THE FREAKING LEFT, DUMMY!" Miles was looking around, shocked, after I said that I was real; although he was mainly looking up, and not actually where my voice was coming from.

After I shouted at him, he turned his head to look at me and said "Oh, hi blue unicorn Alex!" Miles said cheerfully, "So, if you're a blue unicorn, then what's gonna happen next? The Heavy pops out of the ground and says 'POOTIS'? Or a Magikarp starts dancing on your head? Then again you have a horn which means it'd DIE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! No that's not funny it involves death. Umm... Lighten the mood, lighten the mood... Why did the turkey cross the road? No wait it's a different bird. Umm. FUNNY THINGS AND JOKES! HAHAHAHAHA!"

I just rolled my eyes. I was used to Miles acting insane when we talked via the Steam chat feature, or did a voice chat in Skype. Though, there is the issue of him probably not acting this time.

"Anyway! I'm actually kinda damaged! So when will a medic or someone appear here?"

"If you're waiting for a nurse, she left a couple minutes ago to get a doctor; she should be back soon."

"I vonder if zhe doktor ist a sadistic German." Miles said in a bad German accent.

"Aren't all doctors?" I said sarcastically.

After some idle chat, the door swung open to reveal a white unicorn with a light blue mane and tail.

'Hm. So he looks like the BLU Medic; here's hoping he's not like him...'

"Ah, greetings, gentlemen. I see you're both awake?" the doctor asked while walking in.

Me and Miles both said yes, and the doctor continued, "So, how are you two feeling?"

Miles took the liberty of responding before I could say anything, "Well, fine. FOR SOMEONE WHO GOT ATTACKED WITH RAINBOWS AND FELL FROM THE SKY!"

The doctor pulled his head back slightly in surprise, and leaned over and muttered to the nurse, "The patient may be delusional from a head injury on the way down." the nurse then proceeded to write this down on a notepad.

"So, what are your names?" the doctor asked us.

I briefly considered trying to come up with a pony's name, then decided against it. "Alex, Alex Bird." the doctor nodded and turned his head to Miles.

"Miles Logan."

"I assume you two know each other?" the doctor asked, looking between me and Miles.

"Yeah, we do. We're best friends, actually." Miles said.

"So, do you remember what happened before you woke up here?"

"Well, I don't remember anything before finding myself falling from the sky with this guy screaming his head off," I lied, jerking my head towards Miles, who looked back at me, scowling.

"Way to make it sound like I dropped you from the sky." Miles said, still scowling at me.

"Oh, come on, Miles." I rolled my eyes. "We both know that you'd never purposefully drop me from the sky; much less come falling after me, screaming about how you never want to go skydiving again."

"...Well, you still made it sound like I dropped you accidentally." Miles muttered, finding his hooves very interesting.

"Yeah, well, we both know that didn't happen, so just forget about it."

Herr doktor decided to bring the conversation back on topic, "Well, we just need to check for any broken bones, and then you can leave."

"Yay! I wonder which part of me is broken!"

Author's Note:

*sigh* Well, here we are. Two chapters in, and I'm calling a hiatus. Me and D-100 definitely got over-ambitious here and went too fast, and didn't execute it well. Due to this, we're doing to be writing other stories (although I can't guarantee anything from D on this site) that will (hopefully) be much better than this; and come back when we've got the skill required for this kind of fic.

See you whenever, ~Boy with a Robotic Hand

Comments

[Boy with a Robotic Hand]

3782780 Okay, thank you very much for the detailed review.

After some consideration, I've realized that we are, definitely, getting a bit over-excited and going a bit overboard here. I'll talk with D when I see him again, and you may see some changes, after which I'll put this on hiatus and come back when I actually have the skill necessary to make a fic like this.

Again, thank you for giving the detailed review, and know that I will try to do much better in the future.